12-25-2015, 03:04 PM
Hey guys! <3
This is my first post and I'm very excited to have found a website like this. With other like-minded people who are open to topics about love, meditation, ETs, etc. (No rainbow without the rain, right? Understand I share my sorrows with you so you can more fully understand my current joy. Patience please)
Growing up, I've mostly lived in the South. I.e. Georgia. Not too many people around here want to talk about spirituality other than what's directly in their Bible. In fact, they don't even want to explore certain topics in their Bible in different ways... but that's a whole other story.
Needless to say, I've always been curious as to the real history of the Earth. Of the cosmos. Of humans. I've just always questioned everything. I remember constantly asking my mother, "Why?" And I'm happy to say I still ask that question.
I guess the most important question that I have been asking myself is why am I here?
I ask myself this question every day and every day I feel like I get a new answer.
As a young kid, the answer seemed to be just to play. To have fun! Smile, laugh, go outside and stick my toes in the dirt. It didn't seem difficult. Maybe that's the beauty of youth - instinctual knowingness without doubt or hesitation.
But growing up in America seemed to always bend my answer. My family would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I would say, "Happy." But that never seemed like a good enough answer for most people. They would look at me and say, "You're smart. How about a doctor? A lawyer?" My reply would usually be, "But they're not happy!" Hahahaha.
They aren't usually too happy, but man are they comfortable. I started to understand why my family wanted me to have a profession that made a substantial amount of money. Most of my family is considered poor by the IRS's standards. I remember being on foodstamps, getting free/reduced lunch at school, shopping at the thrift store, and never going to the hospital unless the situation was dire. This used to be normal to me until I met people who shamed me for it. They made fun of my clothes. My buck teeth because I hardly went to the dentist. Ironic now how going to thrift stores is considered "cool" and "trendy".
In psychology, they talk a lot about the interaction of environment and the individual. I feel like my environment taught me the exact opposite of everything I felt in my heart. That superficiality matters. Look good no matter how you really are on the inside. Being financially comfortable is more important than feeling fulfilled. Go to church and never question any of the material. After this life, you are judged for eternity- either Heaven or Hell. Aliens are science fiction. The list goes on.
And so I've never quite felt like I've belonged. I've heard feeling isolated is a common experience for people. But there have been times where I've honestly thought there was absolutely no way that I belonged here. I remember trying to be friendly with people and them telling me how weird I was. Why was I always happy? Why was I always smiling? Isn't it funny that often the people with the most broken of hearts smile the most?
I would often go to the library because I found books to be my best friends. I indulged in the experiences of other characters who seemed to fit in. I sympathized with characters who were considered outcasts. But reality always comes back.
Conversations with most people seemed to never go quite as deep as I yearned for. So I gave up. I buried all my doubts within myself and confided in my journal from time to time. Sometimes I also confided in my eldest sister because she seemed to "get me" more than anybody else. She would tell me about how she saw spirits, could dream lucidly, and other things.
Back to spirituality though. I have always attended church, mostly Baptist. I was taught to believe that God was an old white man who sat on clouds and judged everything that I did. He loved me, but if I messed up, I would be tortured in Hell for eternity. And there are a whole lot of rules I'm not supposed to break, not out of respect, but out of fear. There was always something nagging in my soul about the whole experience. There seemed to be so much truth mixed with so much... "other" that it was hard for me to even know what I did and didn't believe.
When I got to college, I could finally start making my own choices. I decided I didn't want to go somewhere that taught me about love but used fear and guilt. I didn't want to be told how to think. I wanted to think for myself and get to know God in my own way. I read my Bible on my own and discerned it for myself. I took what felt true to me and asked for understanding on what I couldn't grasp. I went to the library and picked up the Quran and did the same. I looked online and read about Buddhism and did the same. And I've come to realize that much of it tells a similar story, just in a different perspective. (Although, disclaimer, I do believe many if not all of these books have been... adjusted/tampered/changed.. but there are still elements of what I find to be true.) Speaking of true, I've realized that only internalized truth is true. Truth is subjective. I liken it to the situation of a hot stove. Your mother can tell you a stove is hot, but until you burn yourself (unless you just take her on her word
you just don't quite understand.
I still don't understand everything. Not even close. Which is why I feel like I'm still wandering. I would like to think that I'm some being that has mastered the lessons before and come back here to help others. It would be exciting to think that I descended from an alien species. But honestly, right now, I'm just seeking clarity. I feel like I have so much more to learn.
I don't have a specific story of how I ended up in this place at this time. As I said earlier, it's just been the culmination of one question after another question.
From the experiences I've had thus far, I would summarize my learning this way: (feel free to disagree with me
1. There is a "causeless cause", a "rootless root". A Supreme Being of all possibilities. I liken it to a blank canvas; only an "empty" canvas could possibly have room for any masterpiece. Or perhaps a white light which looks "blank" but contains every hue and shade of every color within and life is that prism that separates us into "individuals". [P.s. look up (planetary, universal...) logos for more on this topic]
2. Look at a yin-yang symbol. Duality is an illusion (maya). There is one circle. We are all one. But duality is what makes everything fun because it gives us free will/choices and allows for this "game".
3. This will seem paradoxical (isn't everything :} but bear with me
A) The darkness/negativity is here to show us what we are not. (So that's why I'm grateful to those who have shown me their hatred, racism, etc because it just shows me who they are not)
If it shows us what we are not, that means we are really light/love/positivity.
B) We must balance our positive & negative. We must analyze our own negativity/darkness and transmute it into positivity by accepting it for what it is- a tool.
4. The world is a mirror of our own consciousness, both individual and collective. We see what we project into it. And we get back what we put out.
5. Various organizations and people want world peace, etc but it all starts within us. As above, so below. As within, so without. This Earth prison/school/game is more so about individual development. We have to work on ourselves first. LOVING ourselves and loving others.
6. It is a game! A very convincing (and possibly holographic) game. Think the matrix. Let us not fear death but understand why we came here in the first place.
That being said, I'm still working on my meditation. On accessing my higher self. On understanding what my purpose is. I am quite excited to find out what it is! If anybody has any very useful tips for meditation, I would gladly like to hear them. From my understanding, it's just finding a quiet place and trying to still the mind so that the still-small voice of the soul/higher-self can be clearly heard. And possibly accessing the Akashic Records.
I heard somewhere that it's not so much WHAT you do but HOW you do it. Just BEING. Showing love through ACTION.
I hope this was informative/entertaining for you. I look forward to seeing the love that you all share with the world and meeting you after this game. You are LOVED
Just the way you are.
Don't hesitate to PM me or comment! I'd love to hear your opinions.
If you would like more information to browse, here are some things I've found interesting/helpful. Most are websites, a few are books, and the last portion is taken from a website and the source is listed.
a. http://matadornetwork.com/bnt/the-red-pi...your-mind/
b. health:
http://www.strengthsensei.com/
http://summerjoy.com/HealingChapter24.html (healing)
c. meditation:
http://imcw.org/Resources/Article-Detail...g-Practice
d. spirituality
(reincarnation, karma...)
http://blavatskytheosophy.com/the-sevenf...re-of-man/
http://www.lawofone.info/
intelligentinfinity.net
Book of Chuang Tzu
e. "illuminati"
https://battleofearth.wordpress.com/2010...cks-again/
http://www.illuminati-news.com/00363.html
This is my first post and I'm very excited to have found a website like this. With other like-minded people who are open to topics about love, meditation, ETs, etc. (No rainbow without the rain, right? Understand I share my sorrows with you so you can more fully understand my current joy. Patience please)
Growing up, I've mostly lived in the South. I.e. Georgia. Not too many people around here want to talk about spirituality other than what's directly in their Bible. In fact, they don't even want to explore certain topics in their Bible in different ways... but that's a whole other story.
Needless to say, I've always been curious as to the real history of the Earth. Of the cosmos. Of humans. I've just always questioned everything. I remember constantly asking my mother, "Why?" And I'm happy to say I still ask that question.
I guess the most important question that I have been asking myself is why am I here?
I ask myself this question every day and every day I feel like I get a new answer.
As a young kid, the answer seemed to be just to play. To have fun! Smile, laugh, go outside and stick my toes in the dirt. It didn't seem difficult. Maybe that's the beauty of youth - instinctual knowingness without doubt or hesitation.
But growing up in America seemed to always bend my answer. My family would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I would say, "Happy." But that never seemed like a good enough answer for most people. They would look at me and say, "You're smart. How about a doctor? A lawyer?" My reply would usually be, "But they're not happy!" Hahahaha.
They aren't usually too happy, but man are they comfortable. I started to understand why my family wanted me to have a profession that made a substantial amount of money. Most of my family is considered poor by the IRS's standards. I remember being on foodstamps, getting free/reduced lunch at school, shopping at the thrift store, and never going to the hospital unless the situation was dire. This used to be normal to me until I met people who shamed me for it. They made fun of my clothes. My buck teeth because I hardly went to the dentist. Ironic now how going to thrift stores is considered "cool" and "trendy".
In psychology, they talk a lot about the interaction of environment and the individual. I feel like my environment taught me the exact opposite of everything I felt in my heart. That superficiality matters. Look good no matter how you really are on the inside. Being financially comfortable is more important than feeling fulfilled. Go to church and never question any of the material. After this life, you are judged for eternity- either Heaven or Hell. Aliens are science fiction. The list goes on.
And so I've never quite felt like I've belonged. I've heard feeling isolated is a common experience for people. But there have been times where I've honestly thought there was absolutely no way that I belonged here. I remember trying to be friendly with people and them telling me how weird I was. Why was I always happy? Why was I always smiling? Isn't it funny that often the people with the most broken of hearts smile the most?
I would often go to the library because I found books to be my best friends. I indulged in the experiences of other characters who seemed to fit in. I sympathized with characters who were considered outcasts. But reality always comes back.
Conversations with most people seemed to never go quite as deep as I yearned for. So I gave up. I buried all my doubts within myself and confided in my journal from time to time. Sometimes I also confided in my eldest sister because she seemed to "get me" more than anybody else. She would tell me about how she saw spirits, could dream lucidly, and other things.
Back to spirituality though. I have always attended church, mostly Baptist. I was taught to believe that God was an old white man who sat on clouds and judged everything that I did. He loved me, but if I messed up, I would be tortured in Hell for eternity. And there are a whole lot of rules I'm not supposed to break, not out of respect, but out of fear. There was always something nagging in my soul about the whole experience. There seemed to be so much truth mixed with so much... "other" that it was hard for me to even know what I did and didn't believe.
When I got to college, I could finally start making my own choices. I decided I didn't want to go somewhere that taught me about love but used fear and guilt. I didn't want to be told how to think. I wanted to think for myself and get to know God in my own way. I read my Bible on my own and discerned it for myself. I took what felt true to me and asked for understanding on what I couldn't grasp. I went to the library and picked up the Quran and did the same. I looked online and read about Buddhism and did the same. And I've come to realize that much of it tells a similar story, just in a different perspective. (Although, disclaimer, I do believe many if not all of these books have been... adjusted/tampered/changed.. but there are still elements of what I find to be true.) Speaking of true, I've realized that only internalized truth is true. Truth is subjective. I liken it to the situation of a hot stove. Your mother can tell you a stove is hot, but until you burn yourself (unless you just take her on her word
you just don't quite understand. I still don't understand everything. Not even close. Which is why I feel like I'm still wandering. I would like to think that I'm some being that has mastered the lessons before and come back here to help others. It would be exciting to think that I descended from an alien species. But honestly, right now, I'm just seeking clarity. I feel like I have so much more to learn.
I don't have a specific story of how I ended up in this place at this time. As I said earlier, it's just been the culmination of one question after another question.
From the experiences I've had thus far, I would summarize my learning this way: (feel free to disagree with me
1. There is a "causeless cause", a "rootless root". A Supreme Being of all possibilities. I liken it to a blank canvas; only an "empty" canvas could possibly have room for any masterpiece. Or perhaps a white light which looks "blank" but contains every hue and shade of every color within and life is that prism that separates us into "individuals". [P.s. look up (planetary, universal...) logos for more on this topic]
2. Look at a yin-yang symbol. Duality is an illusion (maya). There is one circle. We are all one. But duality is what makes everything fun because it gives us free will/choices and allows for this "game".
3. This will seem paradoxical (isn't everything :} but bear with me
A) The darkness/negativity is here to show us what we are not. (So that's why I'm grateful to those who have shown me their hatred, racism, etc because it just shows me who they are not)
If it shows us what we are not, that means we are really light/love/positivity.
B) We must balance our positive & negative. We must analyze our own negativity/darkness and transmute it into positivity by accepting it for what it is- a tool.
4. The world is a mirror of our own consciousness, both individual and collective. We see what we project into it. And we get back what we put out.
5. Various organizations and people want world peace, etc but it all starts within us. As above, so below. As within, so without. This Earth prison/school/game is more so about individual development. We have to work on ourselves first. LOVING ourselves and loving others.
6. It is a game! A very convincing (and possibly holographic) game. Think the matrix. Let us not fear death but understand why we came here in the first place.
That being said, I'm still working on my meditation. On accessing my higher self. On understanding what my purpose is. I am quite excited to find out what it is! If anybody has any very useful tips for meditation, I would gladly like to hear them. From my understanding, it's just finding a quiet place and trying to still the mind so that the still-small voice of the soul/higher-self can be clearly heard. And possibly accessing the Akashic Records.
I heard somewhere that it's not so much WHAT you do but HOW you do it. Just BEING. Showing love through ACTION.
I hope this was informative/entertaining for you. I look forward to seeing the love that you all share with the world and meeting you after this game. You are LOVED
Just the way you are. Don't hesitate to PM me or comment! I'd love to hear your opinions.
If you would like more information to browse, here are some things I've found interesting/helpful. Most are websites, a few are books, and the last portion is taken from a website and the source is listed.
a. http://matadornetwork.com/bnt/the-red-pi...your-mind/
b. health:
http://www.strengthsensei.com/
http://summerjoy.com/HealingChapter24.html (healing)
c. meditation:
http://imcw.org/Resources/Article-Detail...g-Practice
d. spirituality
(reincarnation, karma...)
http://blavatskytheosophy.com/the-sevenf...re-of-man/
http://www.lawofone.info/
intelligentinfinity.net
Book of Chuang Tzu
e. "illuminati"
https://battleofearth.wordpress.com/2010...cks-again/
http://www.illuminati-news.com/00363.html