03-05-2016, 01:21 AM
Friends, I've had a fascinating experience today that led to some novel insights about the metaphysical effects and processes associated with traumatic experience, and I would like to share these with you.
As you know, I've been doing a lot of work clearing out debris (blockages) from my energy field, for lack of a better term. Today I noticed a particular negative emotion as an undercurrent in my overall happy state, with nothing happening in my life to account for it. When I focused my attention on it, I felt discomfort in the left side of my chest.
As I've been doing, I mentally posed a question to it of why I was having the feeling. To make a long story short, I suddenly found myself speaking to a 6 year old boy - who was responding to me using 6 year old language, tone and having the insight of a 6 year old -- and, when I inquired further about why he was feeling this way, a painful memory from that age I hadn't thought about in years popped clear as day into my mind.
We proceeded to have a fairly lengthy conversation. I comforted the boy, explained to him what had actually happened from my adult perspective, and let him know that everything was fine now and he wasn't to blame, and saw his sadness disappear. He said, "thanks for making me feel better. I want to go and play now" and ran off. When I came out of this meditation, the entire left side of my chest felt incredibly free and clear, and the emotion was gone, though I felt a little bit unsettled as I discovered that decades of suffering had been brought on by an incident which my adult self would label as "not that big a deal".
I wanted to understand this better - e.g., if I really spoke to my 6 yo self, why do I have no memory of having had that conversation as a child? I reached out to my guides and they offered some very valuable insights.
Blockages are simply unused catalyst; when we have blockages for a long time, they can turn into physical ailments. But what are blockages?
When a particularly strong catalyst occurs but isn't used in either the STS or STO direction, it becomes a blockage. This is simply a complete "snapshot" of the personality in the situation that remains in one's energy system, and continues to distort the ever-inflowing energy from the Creator in a particular way; it distorts incoming energy to generate the same emotion that was originally felt. But it is not a separate entity in any meaningful way - it has no will or ability to choose.
It's essentially this: since we have not chosen to (or been able to) use the catalyst in the situation in a meaningful way, the entire situation packs its bags and comes along with us as we move forward through time, continuing to try to remind us of its presence through dysfunctional emotion and behavior patterns, waiting for the moment when we're ready and willing to use it. Talk about the literal accuracy of the phrase, "emotional baggage"!
It seems that God doesn't like to waste perfectly good catalyst.
When I finally utilized the catalyst - which, I was told, I did in the STO direction, by speaking to "the child" and offering him love and acceptance, while also treating the others involved in the situation with understanding and acceptance - the distortion was cleared and the distorted part of self was integrated into my overall personality.
The imagery used by the guides was that of pipes or ducts - if the personality can be thought of as a set of pipes of a particular shape and configuration through which the Creator's energy flows within us, this particular blockage was like a twisted length of pipe. Once I used the catalyst, that pipe untwisted into a shape that matched the rest of my personality. It began to have perfect resonance with the rest of me as a result, and merged into the rest of me fully.
So, I'm finding this absolutely fascinating, because I'm finally starting to understand the mechanics of what occurs when we experience powerful emotional events and hold in the emotion, releasing it neither in the direction of unconditional acceptance of self, others and the situation, nor in the direction of control of others and the situation, but instead turn it inwards toward ourselves. It explains why so many people continue to hold self-destructive, unconscious beliefs about themselves or the world, or self-sabotaging behavior patterns, which are highly resistant to change despite tremendous effort. (For me personally, one of the biggest lessons was to discover how incredibly sensitive children can be, and how misinterpreted events can create huge psychological scars.) And, fortunately, how these scars can be healed.
Would love to hear others' thoughts about the implications of this in terms of the Law of One, your personal experience, or anything else that comes to mind!
As you know, I've been doing a lot of work clearing out debris (blockages) from my energy field, for lack of a better term. Today I noticed a particular negative emotion as an undercurrent in my overall happy state, with nothing happening in my life to account for it. When I focused my attention on it, I felt discomfort in the left side of my chest.
As I've been doing, I mentally posed a question to it of why I was having the feeling. To make a long story short, I suddenly found myself speaking to a 6 year old boy - who was responding to me using 6 year old language, tone and having the insight of a 6 year old -- and, when I inquired further about why he was feeling this way, a painful memory from that age I hadn't thought about in years popped clear as day into my mind.
We proceeded to have a fairly lengthy conversation. I comforted the boy, explained to him what had actually happened from my adult perspective, and let him know that everything was fine now and he wasn't to blame, and saw his sadness disappear. He said, "thanks for making me feel better. I want to go and play now" and ran off. When I came out of this meditation, the entire left side of my chest felt incredibly free and clear, and the emotion was gone, though I felt a little bit unsettled as I discovered that decades of suffering had been brought on by an incident which my adult self would label as "not that big a deal".
I wanted to understand this better - e.g., if I really spoke to my 6 yo self, why do I have no memory of having had that conversation as a child? I reached out to my guides and they offered some very valuable insights.
Blockages are simply unused catalyst; when we have blockages for a long time, they can turn into physical ailments. But what are blockages?
When a particularly strong catalyst occurs but isn't used in either the STS or STO direction, it becomes a blockage. This is simply a complete "snapshot" of the personality in the situation that remains in one's energy system, and continues to distort the ever-inflowing energy from the Creator in a particular way; it distorts incoming energy to generate the same emotion that was originally felt. But it is not a separate entity in any meaningful way - it has no will or ability to choose.
It's essentially this: since we have not chosen to (or been able to) use the catalyst in the situation in a meaningful way, the entire situation packs its bags and comes along with us as we move forward through time, continuing to try to remind us of its presence through dysfunctional emotion and behavior patterns, waiting for the moment when we're ready and willing to use it. Talk about the literal accuracy of the phrase, "emotional baggage"!
It seems that God doesn't like to waste perfectly good catalyst.
When I finally utilized the catalyst - which, I was told, I did in the STO direction, by speaking to "the child" and offering him love and acceptance, while also treating the others involved in the situation with understanding and acceptance - the distortion was cleared and the distorted part of self was integrated into my overall personality.
The imagery used by the guides was that of pipes or ducts - if the personality can be thought of as a set of pipes of a particular shape and configuration through which the Creator's energy flows within us, this particular blockage was like a twisted length of pipe. Once I used the catalyst, that pipe untwisted into a shape that matched the rest of my personality. It began to have perfect resonance with the rest of me as a result, and merged into the rest of me fully.
So, I'm finding this absolutely fascinating, because I'm finally starting to understand the mechanics of what occurs when we experience powerful emotional events and hold in the emotion, releasing it neither in the direction of unconditional acceptance of self, others and the situation, nor in the direction of control of others and the situation, but instead turn it inwards toward ourselves. It explains why so many people continue to hold self-destructive, unconscious beliefs about themselves or the world, or self-sabotaging behavior patterns, which are highly resistant to change despite tremendous effort. (For me personally, one of the biggest lessons was to discover how incredibly sensitive children can be, and how misinterpreted events can create huge psychological scars.) And, fortunately, how these scars can be healed.
Would love to hear others' thoughts about the implications of this in terms of the Law of One, your personal experience, or anything else that comes to mind!