Bring4th

Full Version: My 26 year journey
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Greetings,

I hope you all gain some sort of understanding, encouragement, and peace from my story. I grew up in a home with four brothers in a conservative small country town in Lancaster, PA, USA. As a child I grew up in church and was taught Christianity. I was the only one in my family that decided to ask a lot of questions about spirituality, as the rest of my siblings quickly denounced the faith in their younger years minus my little brother who experienced a lot of my early years journey. I always had a gravitation to the unknown while it seemed like everyone around me just wanted to either check spirituality off of there to do list from week to week or reject it altogether never to think about it again. As a young pre-teen I attended a christian school till 8th grade and never missed a Sunday service with my parents. I continually wrestled with faith and spirituality and to this day still have journals dated back to when I was 13, asking tough questions to what seemed to be no one in particular at the time. These writings were out of frustration for the unknown in my life. I have decorative calligraphy with the words "where are you?" "where are you?" written continually. By the time I was 16 I had denounced my traditional faith. I went on a dark path for a few years and tried to numb my mind and heart with drugs. I was desperate to regain the spiritual in my life again and the only way I can describe it is I missed it. I went back to what I had known previously, where I had felt something spiritual, the church, and met a life long friend of mine that started helping me regain some of the disciplines I had lost in my life. I rededicated my life to the Christian path and went on a few mission trips during this time with the church I attended. One of the stories I will never forget was a time when I was in London when I was 18 years old. A group of us were praying and singing in a room one late evening when a white cloud filled the room. Some crazy things happened after that evening and some darkness from the group was revealed that changed the trajectory of a lot of peoples lives. I also met a man on this trip that was super intuitive and a lot of what he received and felt about others was based off of his studies of Jesus Christ and the powers that Jesus talked about. I had never seen something like this before and became very intrigued. He also was very intrigued with me and spoke many things over my life. After coming home from this trip I felt very spiritually sensitive. I had always been a very studious student up till this point trying to figure out the truth through science and history. I had read countless books on religion, history, science and more, but the experiences I had had in London were indescribable. Life went on as I engulfed myself in the church, feeling this was the best way to continue to discover truth. I was a natural leader, public speaker, and student of the Bible. I decided to go to school for theology and eventually moved to Philadelphia. Here I had a professor that use to work for NASA and another professor that had attended Harvard and dedicated his life to studying christian faith, but was open to a lot of other things going on in the world at the time. Because of these two professors I started studying UFO's and other extra terrestrial sightings. I also kept a very close eye on current events. I was home for fall break on my parents 220 acre farm in rural Lancaster, PA one evening with my then girlfriend/now EX wife who didn't believe in any of this stuff. I really had not had many conversations with her because I was still pretty confused myself and amazed that my professors claimed there was definitely more life out there. Anyway my girlfriend and I were outside looking out at the stars when I saw something flying very low coming our way. She also saw it and it freaked her out. I went running after it, now realizing that probably wasn't the smartest idea because I have no idea with the knowledge I have now what dimension that aircraft was coming from. It flew around my parents house once and then disappeared. I chalked it up at the time as ironic and immediately wrote down my experience and told my girlfriend at the time that that was not normal, but told her she could never deny the experience ever. I naturally would always without knowing it try to not let the illusions of this world convince me that I was crazy or wrong in my thinking or sightings. I also called my roommate in college who sat in a lot of my college classes with me and also was super intrigued by life on other planets. I told him about my experience. After my studies I became a pastor and continued to serve others and study. The extra terrestrial studies I had done in college seemed to confuse me more because it never seemed to 100% line up with the Christian faith. I felt super lost as I continued serving others and lost focus of my own spirituality because I was worried about the day to day that comes with the indoctrination of the Christian faith. Eventually everything came to an end as I had some serious personal issues going on in my life. I denounced my faith again in Christianity and started to do whatever I pleased. There was a lot of drama involved in this process as I was a public figure at the time. I decided my best option was atheism as I had ongoing questions about hell and the after life that just couldn't be answered after years of exploring. For about a year and a half I went with this path, denying anything that had to do with spirituality. I diverted all the time I had spent studying Christianity into studying American history and other different time periods of the world. I also kept up with all current events, which I had done since college. I grew in my understanding of the world through these studies and only talked about it with one other close friend. I realized during this time that evil really did exist and that there must be a shadow government running the world. I started studying the black budget and the military complex in the United States. I also started to study WWII and a lot of the budgets and events that occurred after we dropped nuclear weapons on Japan. I then decided to go back to studying Christianity and started to study a lot of the works of Michael Snyder and read his book The Rapture Verdict. I had reopened the idea of spirituality to my life again and the only way to describe it was I was so lost and empty without it. I also was starting to have depression and dark thoughts that scared me. I had stayed in contact with some of the pastors from my previous job at a church. I met with a close friend and pastor during this time and told him I have had super strong weird feelings lately. I was scared to talk about them because I did not want to sound crazy. I have felt a yearning that there was a lot of darkness in the world and that things seemed to be shifting. He obviously related this to a lot from the bible which I listened but didn't accept 100%. Something just still didn't feel right in my spirit. Also during this time my little brother came to me and said he was having crazy dreams and visitations in his bedroom. I will not go into specifics of this because I really am not sure what was going on with him and will not make assumptions and divert people from the Law of One. At the time I had no explanation for his dreams and sightings. He has since moved to Colorado to work as a hemp farmer so I have not kept up with his personal experiences other then he has decided to be one with the soil and plants he is growing. This all sounded weird to me at the time of his departure, but now makes a lot more sense. I discovered soon after the writings of Dr Michael Salla and read every single one of his research papers. This was the beginning of my awakening. I soon discovered David Wilcock. I started reading all his material and was lead to the Cosmic Disclosure videos with Corey Goode. This was all a couple months ago. I have gone into a complete state of studying since then. I can't focus on my day job, I can't focus on my friends, I can't focus on much at all except learning more. I have felt an incredible peace and relief since this discovery. I have started reading the Law of One books, but understand because of my background in theology and the christian faith that there is a lot for me to learn. I suddenly have no desire for the things of this world after reading a lot of this material mentioned above. I am right now committed to daily reading. I in the future feel led to leave Lancaster and study in a more quiet place. I really want to find others that can help me as well and this is really my first time reaching out and explaining my journey to anyone except my little brother. (we have a super interesting connection and I could tell countless stories from our childhood on and I think he is a wanderer as well and we could possibly be placed here together for some reason.) Now that I am chasing the right path I feel like my life is limitless. I now know why I always wondered why I didn't fit in. I have always thought about spiritual things and a life after this one when everyone else around me seemed to not care. I even in my darkest of days have still come back to light. I am so happy to be on this journey and I have no idea where I will end up next, all I can say is that I am going into a deep study of things not of this world. This is also the first time I have reached out to anyone and shared this story.
Hey - thanks for sharing your story.

If it's not too personal a question, what did you mean by the below statement [in bolded]

(07-26-2016, 10:58 AM)fryburner34 Wrote: [ -> ]I have started reading the Law of One books, but understand because of my background in theology and the christian faith that there is a lot for me to learn.

what do you mean by 'a lot for me to learn'?

For me, I think that's a true statement regardless of background, but you seem to imply that theology and Christianity have left you with more 'gaps' in Understanding than other types of backgrounds?
It has not left gaps at all, if anything it has helped. The indoctrination in modern religious settings did not help my mind, but the ancient texts of the bible are very much helpful. I more meant to fully comprehend what I was reading it took many years of studying and I don't see a difference with this material. It will be a process of searching and learning and there is a lot to learn. It is like that with anything though. I could not just get on a bike as a child and ride, I had to learn. I could never understand how to build a house unless I studied and dedicated time to learning the trade. In the same way I have now dedicated to reading and working on myself to the best of my ability within the Law of One. Hopefully that answers your question.
yeah sure; there is skill and development in any endeavour.

With familiarity, comes deeper Understanding.

But again - thanks for sharing your story.  I can still remember the revolutionary impact that the Ra Material had on me when I first encountered it, and the *awe* of it is something that is never lost.

It's great to hear others' also having a similiar experience Smile

It definitely has the potential to be extremely transformative; by having, what I regard, an accurate map/template of the wider Creation and it's evolutionary mechanics.

best of luck on your continued studies.

Namaste.
I appreciate the encouragement. It is helpful and meaningful to me.
Sound likes an incredible journey of self discovery! The Law of One seems to be a turning point for many people. All of your experiences, pain and confusion, lead you to exactly where you need to be and to go. It's a beautiful thing to see the spiritual path come into focus. Feeling that life is limitless is a gift

Keep seeking, brother! Bring4th is a nice community of like minded people Smile