Confederation sources tend to emphasize repeatedly that we cannot really know our own polarity. I think it's somewhat easier to guess the
direction in which you're polarized/polarizing, but I think t's impossible to know the
degree of polarization without outside information from reliable sources. Additionally, it strikes me as being quite useful in building the muscle of faith to not know any of this so that, as those of Ra say, one can get
"unstudied, spontaneous, and honest" responses to experience without judgment about whether it moves one in the "right" direction.
I think of polarity as the amount of energetic inertia one has towards a vibration of, for lack of better terms, radiation or absorption. Because this is an energetic phenomenon at its root, the byproducts of though, feeling, and deed are wholly unreliable save in the very broadest of strokes. The mirror is not the image, and the effects are not the cause. One of the things I see mentioned over and over is the advice to decouple the value of action from the intention behind it. Ultimately, it doesn't matter that dumbbells go up and down, even though that a kind of indicator of something involved in exercise; in the end, building muscle is the only measure, and you can't know whether a given rep will build mass or not, nor can anybody else really tell.
My view has always been that polarity is something we accrue for future work, and exercise analogies always spring to mind. We're in the gym building muscle so we can walk around on a planet with much, much higher gravity. The point of the exercise equipment is to
isolate and work out the muscle of faith, and experiences are just the equipment here. There's something very subtle and hard to capture at work, and we do best when we don't look directly at polarity but instead keep it in our back pocket while we train attention on the assault of phenomenal details that is waking life.
How does it relate to my desire to serve? Based on everything I've said above, I think this is quite mysterious, but there's certainly
a relation of some variety. I think desiring to serve builds polarity--in other words, desiring to serve
with an underlying energetic feeling one is aiming for, as opposed to serving in an unconscious manner randomly building experiences to accrue polarity and experiencing that as novel incidents in life. I rather doubt polarity helps one serve per se, except to the extent it creates an expectation of self that pulls actions towards their higher expression.
For instance: if I think of myself as a wanderer and that I am here to serve, I will tend to exercise judgment and desire in ways that pull me back to the baseline energetic identity I have for myself, regardless of what my polarity
actually is, despite the fluctuation of everyday life. The goal of polarity in third density, I believe, is to subtly set that baseline higher and higher behind the scenes, so you can "lift more weight" as you progress and get closer to being able to walk on that high gravity planet, i.e. deal with a more intense variety of love/light.
