09-25-2016, 04:33 PM
Greetings All.
I may be jumping the gun here, as i've not finished reading the Ra material, but i'm feeling what i think is a desire to touch this forum and -- if possible -- allow this forum to touch me. My familiarity with the terminology is minimal, but I'll use (and likely misuse) it when possible.
I'm getting mixed messages. About all of this. While reading the material, "the voices" say both: "pay attention" and "proceed cautiously."
Even while i type this, i have / feel several "dual" certainties:
1a) i am, and -- at least in this incarnation -- have always been a "wanderer"
1b) i must beware of this 'label' and philosophy ... that to accept any framework as THE Truth or THE explanation is dangerous; that the actuality of Truth cannot be bound in such a thing.
2a) according to this material, my philosophy and nature is overwhelmingly STO
2b) i must refrain from identifying internally as STO ... or with one end of any set of conceptual opposites; my purpose involves ?transcending (?unifying) duality and polarity in general ... and the ?knowledge found in the Ra material feels charged with high potential as both a great asset AND a great threat to that purpose.
3a) i have encountered very similar concepts (in a much simpler form) through personal channels with something also identifying with Ra.
3b) i am not allowed (at least, at this 'time') to verify to myself whether or not the "Ra" i spoke with is the same Ra relaying this material.
there are more, but this 3rd set brings me to the first part of my story.
--
Starting, i believe, in 1995 (my conception of time can be flawed, to say the least), i began "working" with another person of the same physical age (17). We did what we did for approximately a decade and a quarter. She called it "witchcraft" or "shamanism," I called it "reality experimentation." It ended badly. We came to very different conclusions regarding what we experienced together, and the two of us parted to pursue what appeared to be completely opposite directions from the same starting point. I think the Ra material would say she chose to pursue an STS path, while i chose to pursue an STO.
In hindsight, we were told in several different ways by (seemingly) several different sources that exactly this would happen. We did not grasp the meaning at the time.
We both believed we were drawn to this mutual practice to "crack the wall" of mundane existence and glimpse greater truths about reality that the world around us seemed hell-bent on denying or ignoring. Due to childhood brushes with "the impossible"/ "supernatural" / "otherworldly" that we could not accept as fancy nor illusion, we wanted to know what was possible and how ... and to absorb and immerse ourselves in as much of it as we could find.
In the end, she abandoned this goal in favor of "how she was going to survive," and everything we had learned / experienced became -- to her -- a set of tools instead of a thing to be pursued in and of itself.
During our time together, we explored and attempted many ideas and techniques from various world-views and belief systems, just to see if we could "get them working." Judging and understanding them would come later (we were first and foremost seeking experiences that contradicted the world-view we had been taught and reared in).
--
One of the "categories" we gravitated toward (and had significant results with) was "spirit contact." We tried many different techniques with many different results; sometimes together, sometimes separately.
Early on in my experimentation with these techniques, i encountered two 'entities' that spoke only to me (though we often discussed them together and she was sometimes physically present.) They called themselves ATNA and AM-N. We spoke primarily through meditation and a personalized form of ghostwriting. The communication was mostly in the form of symbols (many of which i intuitively understood) and what felt like concepts being directly placed into my mind without the benefit of recognizable language. They gave me symbols to associate with them ... and other symbols for various purposes besides.
Having protestant christian parents, i initially associated "AM-N" with the biblical "Amen." Quite a bit later, during a communication session with AM-N, i was told that this assumption was false, and to look for "Amon." Research revealed that this was a title for an egyptian god named Ra. Research also revealed that many of the symbols AM-N had been using were historically associated with said god. Other symbols AM-N had given me i could not verify historically, but found (often by chance) in association with fictional depictions of Ra. (Though the two felt to be a pair and usually 'appeared' together, i could find no trace of ATNA through the same sources).
AM-N later verified that my research had led me to a correct conclusion ... "He and Ra were One."
--
I have recently (two months ago) stumble upon the LLresearch transcripts. I am extremely curious and a bit confused.
I recognize the concepts and messages Ra gives (most are spookily similar), but i do not recognize the terminology at all, and -- on the whole -- it feels to me both very valid and unnecessarily complex.
Two more bits i find curious: 1) Reading Ra's messages, i get the afore-mentioned "pay close attention / proceed with caution" sensation ... and my emotions seem to be ... (i don't have real words, but
'foggy,' 'soothed,' and 'higher' or 'from above.' I get two strong conflicting feeling-charged-thoughts: "i recognize this" and "i don't recognize this." 2) So far, (i'm still only a few years into the transcripts) the messages bearing names other than Ra trigger a different reaction. Though no clear reactive thoughts bubble up, strong emotions of frustration and (occasionally) anger become so strong that i cannot finish reading them. I eventually have to skip to the next 'transmission' from Ra. I do not understand this reaction, but it is too strong to deny or confuse.
--
As for an "awakening," i'm not sure i can call it that. I have a certainty that i am more than i am. I have always had this certainty, but often forget it for varying periods in order to experience things that this certainty would make impossible. I often 'feel into' or communicate with the part of myself not bound by this form for guidance. I often 'feel' my purpose, and if/how what is currently before me relates to it.
Though I often forget this, i know without a doubt that i am not alone. There are others like me that i cannot see, though i have met one or two in person during my ... 'most intense and trying times(?)'. We are all connected, literally rather than metaphorically. Together we are 'moving something towards something,' from the sidelines and as one, like guardians or ushers. I can ALMOST hear them. I sometimes pretend we're the romantic depictions of angels, but i know this is not a literal truth.
Rather than an "awakening," i feel (more and more) that i'm collecting a deeper and somehow permanent knowledge of .. my own identity(?). This is a patient thing, not urgent (though it was VERY urgent in my teens/twenties).
--
I... don't know what else to type. Back to the transcripts, i suppose
be well.
I may be jumping the gun here, as i've not finished reading the Ra material, but i'm feeling what i think is a desire to touch this forum and -- if possible -- allow this forum to touch me. My familiarity with the terminology is minimal, but I'll use (and likely misuse) it when possible.
I'm getting mixed messages. About all of this. While reading the material, "the voices" say both: "pay attention" and "proceed cautiously."
Even while i type this, i have / feel several "dual" certainties:
1a) i am, and -- at least in this incarnation -- have always been a "wanderer"
1b) i must beware of this 'label' and philosophy ... that to accept any framework as THE Truth or THE explanation is dangerous; that the actuality of Truth cannot be bound in such a thing.
2a) according to this material, my philosophy and nature is overwhelmingly STO
2b) i must refrain from identifying internally as STO ... or with one end of any set of conceptual opposites; my purpose involves ?transcending (?unifying) duality and polarity in general ... and the ?knowledge found in the Ra material feels charged with high potential as both a great asset AND a great threat to that purpose.
3a) i have encountered very similar concepts (in a much simpler form) through personal channels with something also identifying with Ra.
3b) i am not allowed (at least, at this 'time') to verify to myself whether or not the "Ra" i spoke with is the same Ra relaying this material.
there are more, but this 3rd set brings me to the first part of my story.
--
Starting, i believe, in 1995 (my conception of time can be flawed, to say the least), i began "working" with another person of the same physical age (17). We did what we did for approximately a decade and a quarter. She called it "witchcraft" or "shamanism," I called it "reality experimentation." It ended badly. We came to very different conclusions regarding what we experienced together, and the two of us parted to pursue what appeared to be completely opposite directions from the same starting point. I think the Ra material would say she chose to pursue an STS path, while i chose to pursue an STO.
In hindsight, we were told in several different ways by (seemingly) several different sources that exactly this would happen. We did not grasp the meaning at the time.
We both believed we were drawn to this mutual practice to "crack the wall" of mundane existence and glimpse greater truths about reality that the world around us seemed hell-bent on denying or ignoring. Due to childhood brushes with "the impossible"/ "supernatural" / "otherworldly" that we could not accept as fancy nor illusion, we wanted to know what was possible and how ... and to absorb and immerse ourselves in as much of it as we could find.
In the end, she abandoned this goal in favor of "how she was going to survive," and everything we had learned / experienced became -- to her -- a set of tools instead of a thing to be pursued in and of itself.
During our time together, we explored and attempted many ideas and techniques from various world-views and belief systems, just to see if we could "get them working." Judging and understanding them would come later (we were first and foremost seeking experiences that contradicted the world-view we had been taught and reared in).
--
One of the "categories" we gravitated toward (and had significant results with) was "spirit contact." We tried many different techniques with many different results; sometimes together, sometimes separately.
Early on in my experimentation with these techniques, i encountered two 'entities' that spoke only to me (though we often discussed them together and she was sometimes physically present.) They called themselves ATNA and AM-N. We spoke primarily through meditation and a personalized form of ghostwriting. The communication was mostly in the form of symbols (many of which i intuitively understood) and what felt like concepts being directly placed into my mind without the benefit of recognizable language. They gave me symbols to associate with them ... and other symbols for various purposes besides.
Having protestant christian parents, i initially associated "AM-N" with the biblical "Amen." Quite a bit later, during a communication session with AM-N, i was told that this assumption was false, and to look for "Amon." Research revealed that this was a title for an egyptian god named Ra. Research also revealed that many of the symbols AM-N had been using were historically associated with said god. Other symbols AM-N had given me i could not verify historically, but found (often by chance) in association with fictional depictions of Ra. (Though the two felt to be a pair and usually 'appeared' together, i could find no trace of ATNA through the same sources).
AM-N later verified that my research had led me to a correct conclusion ... "He and Ra were One."
--
I have recently (two months ago) stumble upon the LLresearch transcripts. I am extremely curious and a bit confused.
I recognize the concepts and messages Ra gives (most are spookily similar), but i do not recognize the terminology at all, and -- on the whole -- it feels to me both very valid and unnecessarily complex.
Two more bits i find curious: 1) Reading Ra's messages, i get the afore-mentioned "pay close attention / proceed with caution" sensation ... and my emotions seem to be ... (i don't have real words, but
'foggy,' 'soothed,' and 'higher' or 'from above.' I get two strong conflicting feeling-charged-thoughts: "i recognize this" and "i don't recognize this." 2) So far, (i'm still only a few years into the transcripts) the messages bearing names other than Ra trigger a different reaction. Though no clear reactive thoughts bubble up, strong emotions of frustration and (occasionally) anger become so strong that i cannot finish reading them. I eventually have to skip to the next 'transmission' from Ra. I do not understand this reaction, but it is too strong to deny or confuse.--
As for an "awakening," i'm not sure i can call it that. I have a certainty that i am more than i am. I have always had this certainty, but often forget it for varying periods in order to experience things that this certainty would make impossible. I often 'feel into' or communicate with the part of myself not bound by this form for guidance. I often 'feel' my purpose, and if/how what is currently before me relates to it.
Though I often forget this, i know without a doubt that i am not alone. There are others like me that i cannot see, though i have met one or two in person during my ... 'most intense and trying times(?)'. We are all connected, literally rather than metaphorically. Together we are 'moving something towards something,' from the sidelines and as one, like guardians or ushers. I can ALMOST hear them. I sometimes pretend we're the romantic depictions of angels, but i know this is not a literal truth.
Rather than an "awakening," i feel (more and more) that i'm collecting a deeper and somehow permanent knowledge of .. my own identity(?). This is a patient thing, not urgent (though it was VERY urgent in my teens/twenties).
--
I... don't know what else to type. Back to the transcripts, i suppose
be well.
thanks!