Bring4th

I thought since the sub-forum was created I'd participate.

Now, I have been going the process of healing for awhile now. Realizing the perfection within is the my tool. By seeking without being swayed I understand the validity of alternative and often more expand point of view.

I have not posted in the wanderer stories. Some information is critical to understand the distillations I have made.

I consider, allegorically, the point at which I understood to a small degree the complex dynamic of relationships to be my fall from grace. This is knowledge of good and evil. At this age I was approximately 8. The process was incremental. Unconsciously, a lack of 'deservingness' was accepted which then predicated a perception of unworthiness.

There are many approaches I could take to define elemental associations. There are, however, few I desire to take. I felt until for the next decade and a quarter I was falling short of the impressible ideal I held in my heart of what is good. I desired to be accepted as good and righteous.

Drug use accelerated a dissociation from who I thought I should be or should think. What followed was psychosis. As months added up I became grounded. I started mediating again.

The dissociative process (during drug use) was enhanced by mental and body disciplines. What followed was contact with intelligent infinity. Upon facing reintegration this element was ignored. After quite a while of mediating (after drug use), I began remembering the process I developed to contact it.

What followed was a painful initiation without the comfort of a substance to bridge lack of adeptness. My neurosis started fading rapidly. I gained a functional, afeared level of clarity. This is the refinement, the healing that continues.

As I see it understanding, love, intelligent energy is directed by the ingress (north, south pole) of inner light.

I recognize the precise foundations of distortions must be understood. Doing so is an integral part of my daily disciplines.



What are the main ideas i work with?

As a rule of thumb I seek to understand understanding or love. I recognize free will as being a process. Pejorative connotations are given to what is not. Yet they are accepted. A key protection I seek to gain is that which is allowed by purity of inner seeking.

Do you study archetypes?

Yes, archetypes go hand in hand with my seeking. I have found a functional measure of adeptness practicum of utilizing an archetype to be holding in as a evocative visualization. I have not completely initiated myself into all 22. I have gathered the matrix of mind and potentiator of body to be fairly efficient at utilization and as a tool of initiation into others.

Do you really know what mind, body and spirit are?

I confess I do not. I am not able to separate each complex in a succinct way in a literal way. I attribute this partially to not having initiated myself into all given archetypes and not have entered true adepthood. The best correlation I have made is the mind, body an spirit are infinite resonance, continual tuning and complexes of vibration.

What distortions are you working with?

The idea of fixed relationships, I strongly absorbed. I find it desirous to learn to give love freely, doing so wisely is quite a predicament. I do not consider myself asexual. Yet I have not found the proper place for sexuality. I recognize it as a strong drive, but to what end? Many little chinks I attribute to being swayed by an idea of fear or negative desire. As i progress I gain magical potential. I fear bleed thru, yet at other times desire it. There is an interesting paradox between inferiority and superiority complexes. I find much to learn in the opposite sex. Yet that is overshadowed by profound archetypal and energetic experiences. I am at the place in my life where I decide who I want to be. That includes associations and interpersonal relationships. Impulsivity is a rival.

So what would you say are the characteristics that define your state at the 'start' of your healing journey and those you now experience?

(06-06-2017, 04:23 PM)Aion Wrote: [ -> ]So what would you say are the characteristics that define your state at the 'start' of your healing journey and those you now experience?

• I think Ra says it nicely, "the mind must be known to itself". Consciously thinking about how I wanted to be led to understanding why I had evidence I was not how I wanted. Quite a painful process. 
  

• I am in the midst of understanding precise distortions as to why certain bias and behaviors came to be. This is the same as when I started, but I more clearly understand I do not understand. Developing clarity is a powerful key.
  

• For a long period of time there was a naivety commensurate with typical 'New Age' thinking. The backdrop is based on attitude. However, clarity is not emphasized. The relationship one has with their past is typically disregarded. At the time it was a blessing. Now I think of "Law of Attraction" people as being naive. As Ra stated there is a green ray activation ongoing. Ra similarly stated there is a regression from yellow ray to properly deal with self in relation to group.
  
• Characteristics basically started as a recognition of the proper perspective to take on various situations and relationships. When someone takes it upon himself to formulate a framework or a method of grasping the true nature of things then his journey as begun. Everyone does this. The real question is to what extent.
  

A realization has been building more momentum. That is the nature of the mind as I know it. Understanding it is the maiden of my subconscious my male conscious reaches for.

• It is interesting how thoroughly I feel a 'judgment framework'. It is a mix of many 'proprietary discernments' distilled from catalyst. A key question is the proper place for sexuality. Whether that is based on a form of possessiveness or power dynamic falls away in love that needs neither.
  

• What you think of yourself not so much in words, but a sense of acceptance informing the construct of societal identity.
  

Knowing who you are needs no defense, no confirmation. All the while growing a belief in the already existing inner perfection and completeness of you. This is done incrementally. There are definite changes that unfold.