I think my awakening has led me down some painful paths. As if the journey itself isn’t hard enough, usually it’s a pretty isolated trip.
Today I was talking to a friend who sleeps.
He stays busy and drinks to drown out the thoughts and feelings he doesn’t want to face. I’ve always thought that was the wrong choice but life is hard. even to people who consciously face their wounds and change their lives.
It’s not like it’s some cure for all of life’s ailments.
Today I actually told him to keep doing it if it works. I don’t want him to feel what I have gone through. I’m not sure he’d make it, I’m not sure I will make it, and I don’t want him to suffer more. So I told him to keep doing what he’s doing. Never thought I’d ever say that. I’ve always said the opposite. His response was “well I don’t know how much longer it will work” and that scared me. I always wanted him to be with me through this but the thought of him facing this stuff is not what I want for him.
I’ve become close to my best self, I’m free, kind, compassionate, nonjudgmental, loving etc but I’m still here, still aware of this separate-ness we cannot really escape in life. If I drank maybe I could wash it away for a while, perhaps if I worked really really hard I could take trips and keep myself so distracted with activity that I can’t feel it. But yeah then I’m asleep.
What is the point of being awake if you can sleep comfortably?
Obviously I couldn’t sleep hence why I’m here but for those that can why not?
Where did you get the idea that sleep is undesirable?
Way I see it is that there's been quite the great effort to mold this place into offering this sleep you are speaking of, this degree of it is like everything souls here are here for through whichever conscious or unconscious will they contain. Also, I think in a way being aware of separation is just a middle way to be asleep, if you were really awake then there would be only unity to be aware of because it is the root of all separation.
e.g. Is it sad that a month ago was a month ago and that now is now, or is the time that separates a force of love working unity?
I think balanced awakening is what Ra speaks of when talking about the perfectly balanced entity. There's no harshness in feeling love for each and every thing love is here, and feeling otherwise is being blinded by beliefs of separation, which awakening tend to make surface because to be beyond them is sought by the one who attracts catalyst.
e.g.:
[Cause] *I feel I want to be a great badass love beacon that goes astral pew pew pew bom boom light/love love/light heals every1 ez pz, I can take y'all in me and make ya'll feel fucking unity know what I'm sayin?*
[Effect] *attracts catalyst that teaches me each and every place where I fall short of becoming what I desire to become*
I nvmed writing in YY's ayahuasca thread the other day that I often felt like everything that awakens you most somewhat ruins most your incarnation. By that I speak of a need to reincarnate over a set of lifetimes to find a right nexus of realizing something. The third thought I had on my first salvia experience (total memory loss at that because I couldn't have said my own name, living location, etc) was that thing isn't right to be here and so easily accessible, it's a game-breaker.
Anyhow, all last things attempt to reflect how I feel that this quality of sleep you speak of truly is what we are meant to figure to love in incarnation. If you can realize unity whilst asleep there's a power within that, it is much unlike knowing that this is truth whatever you may feel within the strings of yourself as a self or what is felt through the strings of beingness as your other-selves.
I don't think it's bad to awaken either, who here doesn't love 3D in truth?
Drinking and drugs are very harmful. I wouldn’t encourage a friend to keep doing it. It doesn’t work. It’s an attempt to block out the pain, which only makes it worse. Speaking from experiencing here! It’s far better to face the pain. You can get through it, and then you’ll be at more peace. (Although at the time, one may think it’s never going to be resolved. That It’s too difficult.)
To those who sleep, let them. It’s okay if people don’t want to face the self yet. It’s bexoming increasingly more difficult not to. And the problems resulting from that mount up.
The love that you feel for your friends needs balanced with wisdom, in my opinion. To tell him to keep doing what he’s doing if it works is not properly applied here because drinking and drugs are self destructive and only make the pain worse, because it’s being so violently rejected and denied. That’s not kind to the self. The shadow just wants to be accepted.
Maybe you’re hearing or sensing a subconscious call for help with him? If you are indeed sensing a call, get creative with how you may respond to it. What does he need that he’s subconsciously calling for? The purity of intention is what matters here, not so much whether one is successful in the service or not.
Just my opinion, take it or leave it...
The satisfaction that comes from "sleeping" is a shallow satisfaction, a satisfaction based on comfort for the physical body. Upon death, we are much more "satisfied" with a life "awake" than "sleeping". So it's about immediate satisfaction vs delayed satisfaction.
Quote:89.30 Questioner: Would Ra’s attitude toward the same unharvestable entities be different at this nexus than at the time of harvest of third density?
Ra: I am Ra. Not substantially. To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping. Service is only possible to the extent it is requested. We were ready to serve in whatever way we could. This still seems satisfactory as a means of dealing with other-selves in third density. It is our feeling that to be each entity which one attempts to serve is to simplify the grasp of what service is necessary or possible.
According to Ra, it seems that if one wants to sleep, that their action in that instance is to
enable it. Which seems crazy. But hey, no use trying to wake someone up if they aren't ready. We know how to wake ourselves up! - even if it takes eons.
Hey Glow, I'm on your side. One of the features of service that I feel is the hardest to grasp in our rule-based, morality-ridden, ideological world is that the kind of truly touching service that really gets through to people is not based on broad, impersonal principles but is very intimate, individual-to-individual. That means when one serves, one serves best when serving a particular aspect of the Creator, a particular individual on a particular path. To actually meet a unique part of the Creator where they're at on their terms takes a lot of balance for the person serving, because it means you can't simply apply stock rules and principles but instead have to "freestyle channel" the love and light to a completely new situation.
I think this is a lot of the problem with charity and social work, for instance. Well-meaning folks are often induced to view a disadvantaged person as a single, deracinated, featureless instance of a more general mass social problem rather than a unique individual with a path, a history, a way of expressing the Creator that deserves individual attention. To serve them best is to serve them in their individuality, not simply them in their superficial role within our yellow-ray matrix of relations.
What matters is not so much what you say as the sincerity with which you say it, the connection you convey by saying it, the love you demonstrate in speaking to a unique situation, the care you show in taking the time and effort to make this particular person the valued center of your attention. That speaks louder than the words. And I know that, having dispensed this advice, you will also be there for them in the future, holding their hand as they stumble, celebrating them as they pick themselves up, reflecting the best within them as a matter of pure being.
To deal with the specifics: I don't think it's wrong to allow people to sleep, to allow people to self-medicate. What's the alternative? Compulsion to move forward before they're ready? No, free will must be held paramount. That doesn't mean "tough love" is somehow always wrong; it just means "tough love" has to speak, once again, to a particular condition, not a general condition.
I applaud your desire to reflect on these questions. This is how we balance our service within the illusion. Good luck to you and especially your friend, who is lucky to have you.
Glow, I would say that if he knows the drinking may not soothe his discomfort much longer, then he's not entirely asleep.
We all have our rhythms to which we respond. I have certainly spent lots of time dodging my deeper knowing and feelings and plenty of time working with them. We all ride the waves, trough to peak to trough to peak, don't we? Frequencies and amplitudes vary, indeed, but the idea is the same, it seems to moi.
I would just highlight your attitude of acceptance and suggest that this will serve you well.
(11-23-2017, 06:17 PM)Glow Wrote: [ -> ]What is the point of being awake if you can sleep comfortably?
Obviously I couldn’t sleep hence why I’m here but for those that can why not?
Many people don't self medicate to completely eradicate catalyst but rather, to merely soften it. This allows them to step back and look at it more intellectually (if they actually do this rather than merely getting distracted by other things that become attractive when the pain is temporarily relieved).
But by and large, pleasure puts you to sleep, and pain wakes you up. And in fact, this is the metaphysical purpose of aversion (that which we call "pain" on any level of our Beingness). It is the archetypal aspect of the One that allows us to feel when we are drifting away from unity and more towards entropy.
The things that temporarily stave off catalyst are also archetypically designed to be temporary. For example, this is why there is something like "tolerance". Eventually you become faced with the unpleasant decision to either destroy the Self or face the Self. Many choose to simply destroy the self (by taking ever increasing amounts of the substance they have become tolerant of). You can't put off karma forever! :D
Thanks to you all for your perspective, and insight. I have taken the day to really weigh your thoughts to see what they tell me about my own. I appreciate your help sincerely. You guys are all so amazing and thoughtful.
(11-23-2017, 06:58 PM)Elros Wrote: [ -> ]Where did you get the idea that sleep is undesirable?
Way I see it is that there's been quite the great effort to mold this place into offering this sleep you are speaking of, this degree of it is like everything souls here are here for through whichever conscious or unconscious will they contain. Also, I think in a way being aware of separation is just a middle way to be asleep, if you were really awake then there would be only unity to be aware of because it is the root of all separation.
e.g. Is it sad that a month ago was a month ago and that now is now, or is the time that separates a force of love working unity?
I think balanced awakening is what Ra speaks of when talking about the perfectly balanced entity. There's no harshness in feeling love for each and every thing love is here, and feeling otherwise is being blinded by beliefs of separation, which awakening tend to make surface because to be beyond them is sought by the one who attracts catalyst.
e.g.:
[Cause] *I feel I want to be a great badass love beacon that goes astral pew pew pew bom boom light/love love/light heals every1 ez pz, I can take y'all in me and make ya'll feel fucking unity know what I'm sayin?*
[Effect] *attracts catalyst that teaches me each and every place where I fall short of becoming what I desire to become*
I nvmed writing in YY's ayahuasca thread the other day that I often felt like everything that awakens you most somewhat ruins most your incarnation. By that I speak of a need to reincarnate over a set of lifetimes to find a right nexus of realizing something. The third thought I had on my first salvia experience (total memory loss at that because I couldn't have said my own name, living location, etc) was that thing isn't right to be here and so easily accessible, it's a game-breaker.
Anyhow, all last things attempt to reflect how I feel that this quality of sleep you speak of truly is what we are meant to figure to love in incarnation. If you can realize unity whilst asleep there's a power within that, it is much unlike knowing that this is truth whatever you may feel within the strings of yourself as a self or what is felt through the strings of beingness as your other-selves.
I don't think it's bad to awaken either, who here doesn't love 3D in truth?
I don't think anything you say is wrong. I guess in new age there is so much push for others to awaken, but really I almost wonder if that isn't impatience from those of us wanting to just all join together and move towards unity in one bold move. Dissolve even the illusion of the boundaries these bodies impose. Its a beautiful thing to know yourself and to feel that incredible love for EVERYONE, personally it is still a tease for me as I long for everyone else to forget they are separate from me too.
So there you see I do love 3d only I'd really like to explore oneness from within 3d as few boundaries as possible. Ego not fully awakened because I do have more to explore in the flesh. I'm not sure if that made sense to others. It is sort of a paradox I guess, and greedy to want to explore the point i crave in creation the most membrane thin expression of separation within unity.
Still I know its not my place to chose when anyone else awakens, enjoy the sleep even if some nightmares are mixed in.
(11-24-2017, 10:22 AM)Nau7ik Wrote: [ -> ]Drinking and drugs are very harmful. I wouldn’t encourage a friend to keep doing it. It doesn’t work. It’s an attempt to block out the pain, which only makes it worse. Speaking from experiencing here! It’s far better to face the pain. You can get through it, and then you’ll be at more peace. (Although at the time, one may think it’s never going to be resolved. That It’s too difficult.)
To those who sleep, let them. It’s okay if people don’t want to face the self yet. It’s bexoming increasingly more difficult not to. And the problems resulting from that mount up.
The love that you feel for your friends needs balanced with wisdom, in my opinion. To tell him to keep doing what he’s doing if it works is not properly applied here because drinking and drugs are self destructive and only make the pain worse, because it’s being so violently rejected and denied. That’s not kind to the self. The shadow just wants to be accepted.
Maybe you’re hearing or sensing a subconscious call for help with him? If you are indeed sensing a call, get creative with how you may respond to it. What does he need that he’s subconsciously calling for? The purity of intention is what matters here, not so much whether one is successful in the service or not.
Just my opinion, take it or leave it...
Trust me I wish I could protect him from the harm he does to his body. I agree with you in so many ways but I can only give him as much support as he wants then have to let him deal with the rest as he chooses, his catalyst is acting on his body, we talk honestly.
His alcohol is excessive, he has so much to wash away, his incessant need to keep busy so he never rests or heals, all so he can outrun the mind, I just see now if he can fool himself a while longer before facing it, why not. Its going to be so much to face.
I hope he has an amazing time.
(11-24-2017, 10:42 AM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: [ -> ]The satisfaction that comes from "sleeping" is a shallow satisfaction, a satisfaction based on comfort for the physical body. Upon death, we are much more "satisfied" with a life "awake" than "sleeping". So it's about immediate satisfaction vs delayed satisfaction.
Quote:89.30 Questioner: Would Ra’s attitude toward the same unharvestable entities be different at this nexus than at the time of harvest of third density?
Ra: I am Ra. Not substantially. To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping. Service is only possible to the extent it is requested. We were ready to serve in whatever way we could. This still seems satisfactory as a means of dealing with other-selves in third density. It is our feeling that to be each entity which one attempts to serve is to simplify the grasp of what service is necessary or possible.
According to Ra, it seems that if one wants to sleep, that their action in that instance is to enable it. Which seems crazy. But hey, no use trying to wake someone up if they aren't ready. We know how to wake ourselves up! - even if it takes eons.
Agree with you on all points. Thanks for the Ra quotes too.
(11-24-2017, 12:41 PM)rva_jeremy Wrote: [ -> ]Hey Glow, I'm on your side. One of the features of service that I feel is the hardest to grasp in our rule-based, morality-ridden, ideological world is that the kind of truly touching service that really gets through to people is not based on broad, impersonal principles but is very intimate, individual-to-individual. That means when one serves, one serves best when serving a particular aspect of the Creator, a particular individual on a particular path. To actually meet a unique part of the Creator where they're at on their terms takes a lot of balance for the person serving, because it means you can't simply apply stock rules and principles but instead have to "freestyle channel" the love and light to a completely new situation.
I think this is a lot of the problem with charity and social work, for instance. Well-meaning folks are often induced to view a disadvantaged person as a single, deracinated, featureless instance of a more general mass social problem rather than a unique individual with a path, a history, a way of expressing the Creator that deserves individual attention. To serve them best is to serve them in their individuality, not simply them in their superficial role within our yellow-ray matrix of relations.
What matters is not so much what you say as the sincerity with which you say it, the connection you convey by saying it, the love you demonstrate in speaking to a unique situation, the care you show in taking the time and effort to make this particular person the valued center of your attention. That speaks louder than the words. And I know that, having dispensed this advice, you will also be there for them in the future, holding their hand as they stumble, celebrating them as they pick themselves up, reflecting the best within them as a matter of pure being.
To deal with the specifics: I don't think it's wrong to allow people to sleep, to allow people to self-medicate. What's the alternative? Compulsion to move forward before they're ready? No, free will must be held paramount. That doesn't mean "tough love" is somehow always wrong; it just means "tough love" has to speak, once again, to a particular condition, not a general condition.
I applaud your desire to reflect on these questions. This is how we balance our service within the illusion. Good luck to you and especially your friend, who is lucky to have you.
Thanks for understanding my perspective, and giving me more to think about. Also appreciate the pat on the back as a friend. I really try hard but it litterally blew my mind when I told him to keep doing it if it works. I am so aware of health effects and dont want to see him get sick but I finally see its not my place to decide, I might even be scared for how hard it will be for him. So much to learn. I guess that's why I am still here.
Thanks for all you wrote I will reread it again as you touched on a lot that makes sense.
(11-24-2017, 01:32 PM)peregrine Wrote: [ -> ]Glow, I would say that if he knows the drinking may not soothe his discomfort much longer, then he's not entirely asleep.
We all have our rhythms to which we respond. I have certainly spent lots of time dodging my deeper knowing and feelings and plenty of time working with them. We all ride the waves, trough to peak to trough to peak, don't we? Frequencies and amplitudes vary, indeed, but the idea is the same, it seems to moi.
I would just highlight your attitude of acceptance and suggest that this will serve you well.
See and I never really noticed how crappy my rhythm is. I push myself so hard in this need to see clearly but you are right. A different style even one that appears like denial might just be a really appropriate and conservative but nurturing pace to face things. Not everything has to be like ripping off a band aide.
And second point I am getting the feeling today that he is going to be facing himself more shortly. I have had premonitions of his life that all came true, i have not consciously "seen" beyond this point but its possible seeing this new way yesterday is me getting cold feet in regards to all the wishing to hurry things along, like that moment of hesitation before something happens. I just hope he doesn't push himself like I do/did. Almost killed me. Im much more ok with him sleeping while he can if it keeps him safe/happy as possible.
Thanks for the perspective, maybe I can add some times of less urgent seeking to my rhythym. Many thanks
(11-24-2017, 03:22 PM)anagogy Wrote: [ -> ] (11-23-2017, 06:17 PM)Glow Wrote: [ -> ]What is the point of being awake if you can sleep comfortably?
Obviously I couldn’t sleep hence why I’m here but for those that can why not?
Many people don't self medicate to completely eradicate catalyst but rather, to merely soften it. This allows them to step back and look at it more intellectually (if they actually do this rather than merely getting distracted by other things that become attractive when the pain is temporarily relieved).
But by and large, pleasure puts you to sleep, and pain wakes you up. And in fact, this is the metaphysical purpose of aversion (that which we call "pain" on any level of our Beingness). It is the archetypal aspect of the One that allows us to feel when we are drifting away from unity and more towards entropy.
The things that temporarily stave off catalyst are also archetypically designed to be temporary. For example, this is why there is something like "tolerance". Eventually you become faced with the unpleasant decision to either destroy the Self or face the Self. Many choose to simply destroy the self (by taking ever increasing amounts of the substance they have become tolerant of). You can't put off karma forever! 
That too is great insight. Softening things with self medicating, I never really saw it that way but I can see it for sure.
When I drank it was for sheer escape, now when I drink its for the occasional time of relaxed bonding, I really see what you mean though it could just step you back enough so you could stomach facing something horrible.... no wonder the creator is infinite so many ways to see/do/experience everything.
Thanks everyONE
The term sleep, as Ra uses mainly to refer to making the choice and polarizing, and the term sleep to refer to suppression of one's lessons are different terms with different meanings. I'll call Ra's term of sleep to refer to nonpolarized-sleep, and I'll characterize the OP's term of sleep (at least how he describes it in the body) as suppression-sleep. It's not totally clear, but you may be using the two different terms of sleep interchangeably when they have different meanings.
Quote:89.30 Questioner: Would Ra’s attitude toward the same unharvestable entities be different at this nexus than at the time of harvest of third density?
Ra: I am Ra. Not substantially. To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping. Service is only possible to the extent it is requested. We were ready to serve in whatever way we could. This still seems satisfactory as a means of dealing with other-selves in third density. It is our feeling that to be each entity which one attempts to serve is to simplify the grasp of what service is necessary or possible.
[font=sans-serif]21.9 Questioner: Now, when the 75,000-year cycle started, [the] life span was approximately nine hundred years, average. What was the process and scheduling of— mechanism, shall I say, of reincarnation at that time, and how did the time in between incarnations into third-density physical apply to the growth of the mind/body/spirit complex?
Ra: I am Ra. This query is more complex than most. We shall begin. The incarnation pattern of the beginning third-density mind/body/spirit complex begins in darkness, for you may think or consider of your density as one of, as you may say, a sleep and a forgetting. This is the only plane of forgetting. It is necessary for the third-density entity to forget so that the mechanisms of confusion or free will may operate upon the newly individuated consciousness complex.
Thus, the beginning entity is one in all innocence oriented towards animalistic behavior using other-selves only as extensions of self for the preservation of the all-self. The entity becomes slowly aware that it has needs, shall we say, that are not animalistic; that is, that are useless for survival. These needs include: the need for companionship, the need for laughter, the need for beauty, the need to know the universe about it. These are the beginning needs.
As the incarnations begin to accumulate, further needs are discovered: the need to trade, the need to love, the need to be loved, the need to elevate animalistic behaviors to a more universal perspective.
During the first portion of third-density cycles, incarnations are automatic and occur rapidly upon the cessation of energy complex of the physical vehicle. There is small need to review or to heal the experiences of the incarnation. As, what you would call, the energy centers begin to be activated to a higher extent, more of the content of experience during incarnation deals with the lessons of love.
Thus the time, as you may understand it, between incarnations is lengthened to give appropriate attention to the review and the healing of experiences of the previous incarnation. At some point in third density, the green-ray energy center becomes activated and at that point incarnation ceases to be automatic.[/font]
It seems what you are describing in the OP is suppression-sleep. Suppression of one's painful experiences are something that many people do, including spiritually awakened and non-spiritual people. Certainly Buddha-level people may have almost or no suppression, but suppression I think is common and it's just a matter of how much various people do it. I would say, in my experience, that suppression-sleep is never helpful, and simply a coping mechanism that stems from fear.
Nonpolarized-sleep is different. Some entities see the choice but are not ready to make it. Other entities are very young and simply are in darkness and sleep and that's what they want, with no real understanding of the deeper nature of reality.
I think in conclusion, when Ra says that "
To those who wish to sleep we could only offer those comforts designed for the sleeping", Ra is referring to those not wishing to make a choice. " I don't think Ra has the same advice for those who wish to engage in suppression-sleep.
Sorry for the confusion.
He is a Wanderer and at one point already started down the path.
He chose in both cases to go back to sleep.
For him like myself the two types of awake are linked.
See one, see both,
It's really cool that you're concerned about your friend. unfortunately he won't listen to anyone.. I don't listen either... but it's always nice to see someone care about you when you don't care about yourself at all.
(11-24-2017, 10:01 PM)Glow Wrote: [ -> ]Sorry for the confusion.
He is a Wanderer and at one point already started down the path.
He chose in both cases to go back to sleep.
For him like myself the two types of awake are linked.
See one, see both,
Can one truly unring the bell, once you've awoken to the choice?
I like to think one whom is awakened but greatly depressed at the new reality they've awakened to can go back to a half-awake lull. I feel like I have anyways. I also directly resonate with the idea of if they wish to sleep, let them sleep.
Sometimes we're not ready to wake up even if we already have woken up. It's like in The Matrix, you don't unplug a person beyond a certain age, it is dangerous and irresponsible because they've grown too dependent on the system, the shock to their minds' that none of it is real, is enough to break them, make them do crazy things they would never have done one way or another.
I think alcohol however is different, it is not suppression, it is in a way worse. The adage, to drown away one's sorrows, comes to mind. You cannot drown away sorrow, and drinking is more likely disrupting the neural circuitry from even being able to process the events of the day, leaving them to the total rawness of the subconscious.
Hence why, in my opinion, people who drink are more prone to emotional instability or at the very least, emotional irresponsibility.
Glow, have you ever thought of trying to get him to talk to you while he's drunk? It's amazing what comes out of a person's mouth when booze has their neural patterns all loopy and out of whack. Or more, have you ever tried to get him to introspectively notice that he uses alcohol in a dangerous way?
I'm aware people have been drinking for over a thousand years, but it doesn't change the fact that accrued alcoholic usage, DAILY, has irreversible effects on the brain that pretty much reduces a person's mental an emotional capacities towards irrationality, which would compound any emotional or mental issues one might be trying to process.
It isn't suppression, suppression is akin to pushing down the thoughts, this is substance abuse, and it is no different from me lighting up a bowl of weed to calm myself down from being angry (I don't think so anyways). It is not right to abuse a substance to control yourself, and while I think you're doing perfectly right as you are, I wonder if you're willing to risk making a proactive move in pointing out to him that you're worried about his drinking?
You seem like a kindly enough person to be able to touch on such a sensitive subject with the tenderness and gentleness needed to initiate a healing response, or at the very least, to not make him mad at you for bringing it up.
It's like how I occasionally try to get my friend who has a terrible time reading (because he was born 4 months premature and special education in Arizona can't educate worth their salary) that we need to get him to read more often so that he doesn't struggle with it as much. Or how I try to get all of my friends to get out of the house and instead of sitting in front of tv screens playing video games, get us to all go out and kick a ball or something.
Sure, I fail often, but whenever I bring it up, it makes me feel a bit better knowing that at least I'm trying, even if they don't want it, at least I offered. Maybe one day, they'll take the offer, and we can all read a manga together (like Akumetsu!), or play Tennis or just get away from the video games...
(11-25-2017, 02:50 AM)xise Wrote: [ -> ] (11-24-2017, 10:01 PM)Glow Wrote: [ -> ]Sorry for the confusion.
He is a Wanderer and at one point already started down the path.
He chose in both cases to go back to sleep.
For him like myself the two types of awake are linked.
See one, see both,
Can one truly unring the bell, once you've awoken to the choice?
Ever see truth/know truth, realize its to big/to much/to exactly what you remember in your heart, but you want it so much that its terrifying to believe its true because you cant grab hold and lose this too? He did.
And he slammed that door, it never closed all the way but he keeps trying to slam it closed over and over because anytime a little of that truth sneaks in, he recognizes it and he knows it will destroy him(his ego). He also has small kids and typical of 3d adversarial relationships with his (strict baptist) wife whom he loves. Grabbing hold of the truth about who he is and what he believes inside would risk toppling everything, letting everyone down. In some way his denial is STO his family. The alcohol and distraction is part of making that balance as happily distracted as possible. Surely not bliss but more manageable than facing all that.
Its just not black or white, not yet anyways.
(11-25-2017, 05:49 AM)Coordinate_Apotheosis Wrote: [ -> ]I like to think one whom is awakened but greatly depressed at the new reality they've awakened to can go back to a half-awake lull. I feel like I have anyways. I also directly resonate with the idea of if they wish to sleep, let them sleep.
Sometimes we're not ready to wake up even if we already have woken up. It's like in The Matrix, you don't unplug a person beyond a certain age, it is dangerous and irresponsible because they've grown too dependent on the system, the shock to their minds' that none of it is real, is enough to break them, make them do crazy things they would never have done one way or another.
I think alcohol however is different, it is not suppression, it is in a way worse. The adage, to drown away one's sorrows, comes to mind. You cannot drown away sorrow, and drinking is more likely disrupting the neural circuitry from even being able to process the events of the day, leaving them to the total rawness of the subconscious.
Hence why, in my opinion, people who drink are more prone to emotional instability or at the very least, emotional irresponsibility.
Glow, have you ever thought of trying to get him to talk to you while he's drunk? It's amazing what comes out of a person's mouth when booze has their neural patterns all loopy and out of whack. Or more, have you ever tried to get him to introspectively notice that he uses alcohol in a dangerous way?
I'm aware people have been drinking for over a thousand years, but it doesn't change the fact that accrued alcoholic usage, DAILY, has irreversible effects on the brain that pretty much reduces a person's mental an emotional capacities towards irrationality, which would compound any emotional or mental issues one might be trying to process.
It isn't suppression, suppression is akin to pushing down the thoughts, this is substance abuse, and it is no different from me lighting up a bowl of weed to calm myself down from being angry (I don't think so anyways). It is not right to abuse a substance to control yourself, and while I think you're doing perfectly right as you are, I wonder if you're willing to risk making a proactive move in pointing out to him that you're worried about his drinking?
You seem like a kindly enough person to be able to touch on such a sensitive subject with the tenderness and gentleness needed to initiate a healing response, or at the very least, to not make him mad at you for bringing it up.
It's like how I occasionally try to get my friend who has a terrible time reading (because he was born 4 months premature and special education in Arizona can't educate worth their salary) that we need to get him to read more often so that he doesn't struggle with it as much. Or how I try to get all of my friends to get out of the house and instead of sitting in front of tv screens playing video games, get us to all go out and kick a ball or something.
Sure, I fail often, but whenever I bring it up, it makes me feel a bit better knowing that at least I'm trying, even if they don't want it, at least I offered. Maybe one day, they'll take the offer, and we can all read a manga together (like Akumetsu!), or play Tennis or just get away from the video games...
I think you totally get the big picture and I am trying to follow that path I can as best as possible.
Unfortunately I am for him an awakening catalyst as he was for me so I can only offer what is asked. I am always there and on tough weeks I have been there to hold him up(via phone for upwards of 2 hours,) so that does decrease the drinking from where it would be, but down side to much awakening catalyst(remembrance of home vibration) and you need to drown it out even more. It is a tough balance.
Oddly the day after I posted this originally he phoned me upset and we actually talked a bit again about the drinking. I wish he could sleep happily but it seems even sleeping is getting harder. I recommended instead of facing things head on as they are he work on his old wounds that got him here. Maybe then everything would slowly slip into place, and big picture from my perspective is then awakening would be less traumatic when that material wounds were already faced. Who knows right?We are all trying as best we can. He has incredible will so I dont think the alcohol will be such an issue once the problems, and denial of remembrance are dealt with.
(((hugs))) a few of your posts made me REALLY laugh and smile today in recognition of your heart so I appreciate those moments fellow wanderer.
(11-25-2017, 05:49 AM)Coordinate_Apotheosis Wrote: [ -> ]It isn't suppression, suppression is akin to pushing down the thoughts, this is substance abuse, and it is no different from me lighting up a bowl of weed to calm myself down from being angry (I don't think so anyways).
I would say suppression is a refusal/rejection of anything your conscious mind is experiencing, including emotions or feelings.
There are different sorts and levels of suppression, but I think the key element is an unwillingness to be present and experience what is on your conscious mind. So that would include the weed example. It does depend on how you define the word suppression though. But as I define the word, suppression exists at many stages of the archetypes of the mind - matrix - suppression of desire, catalyst - suppression refusal to acknowledge that are consciously feeling something, and experience - suppression that the feeling is coming from you and internal things, not external events.
But it's something we all do, and I think it's better to pick our spiritual battles rather than to try to immediately be perfect as true spiritual evolution comes organically from working upon the self; it does not come from a ruleset that says "never suppress anything" or "don't eat meat", etc.
Upon reflection of your situation 2 things stood out to me. The first one being you want to help but are facing defensiveness. And you wonder why this resistance. This is just a guess but I think if you want to help in a way that is too precise or specific like focusing on the drinking or 'sleeping' then then 2 things happen.
First the focus drift away from the core of the situation, and secondly it makes it indirectly about you, about your awakening. This is just a personal suggestion but I would personally not even mention neither the drinking or the sleeping because if they are defense mecanisms, it can reinforce them. While you focus on that, your focus is on what he's not doing correctly for you. If instead you focus on what he is doing correctly, there might be more of an opening up. So what is he doing correctly?
I think the drinking is in a way showing that he is at least concerned about his pain, that he is focusing on it. It's kind of just easy to tell someone to simply 'face the pain'. Most of us are very aware of our pain yet it doesn't make it any easier or quicker to deal with it. Some pain are exceessively hard and long to deal with, like lifelong workings, and not all of us are super efficient at doing so especially when there never was concrete circumstances to be able to engage the process. Even to deal with it it needs to be understood first and in that lies the first important step. Do you understand his pain? Maybe you do maybe you don't, I can't exactly say from where I am, but the first step to understand someone else's pain is definitely to understand your own.
Consider also that we do not just simply need to face the pain. We also need to understand how it was created, how it is buried, how the defense mechanisms works, what triggers them, and that takes a long time. It can't be done just so quick and simple. The process of healing needs to acknowledge the self as both the child that was hurt and the very capable and self sufficient adult in full capacities to help itself. And many people just want to figure that out themselves. I don't know your friend, but I know some people find that insulting that you would do their seeking for them. Just something to consider along the path of being a healing companion.
The second thing that stands out to me is that it 'seems' to me like you often need to get a hold of someone else's thoughts or emotional state. Maybe this is where lies your own 'drinking'/'sleeping'. I think if you can get a good understanding of that in yourself, then the doors may be willing to open. Just some food for thoughts to add to the recipe. Who's doors are you really looking to open? Are they really someone else's doors?
I know it seems redundant that I often take back the focus on someone else to yourself but I definitely think that the defensiveness your are receiving from someone else comes from a defensiveness that is in yourself and are simply not aware of yet.
I'll take my own advise and focus on what you are doing correctly. I don't think any part of your situation is wrong, you're definitely on the right path and your heart is in the right place. Just be patient with yourself. I'm sure you'll figure it out.
Good luck on your seeking and service!