Bring4th

There is only one being in the Universe. Everything you perceive as being outside yourself, is within yourself. You are experiencing a mirror of the inside.

Love yourself. Realize that God loves you with an infinite love.

Meditate. Turn off the internal dialogue that focuses on what you perceive as chaos and ugliness. Once your internal dialogue train stops, manifest light. You can manifest brilliant white light and hold it inside yourself. Pretty soon, you'll start to glow, and other-selves will reflect that brilliance back at you. They will always mirror what is inside.

Have faith. You'll overcome this rough patch just as you have others.

Hello Kristy,

First let me take a deep breath to center myself. Whew, your post is filled with much emotion. Such sorrow, frustration, anger and pain. I can feel it reading your words. Might I suggest a deep calming breath for you also?

I am currently in the mindset of where we lead and where we follow so forgive me if my reply is centered around that and turns out to not be helpful.

I have been in this emotional painful place, I understand where you are right now. Our interactions with "other-selves" will inspire reaction. This is our catalyst for growth. I know you know this.

My best advise for you right now is to allow all the emotion you are feeling right now to be expressed...Punch a pillow, go into the bathroom and scream have a tantrum the likes of which your children have never seen...(if you need to). Then when you have experienced all that the emotion has to offer you for the moment, think on how you were led to this place, what within you wanted to end up there and why.

There is a wonderful opportunity for you here- to grow by leaps and bounds.

I'm sure others will have some great advice for you also. I send you loving blessings on your journey through this tough time.

zanny

Kristy,

I hope I have words that can be helpful to you, I'll do my best.

First of all, see if you can get centered and remember who you are. You are the Creator...and sometimes the Creator dreams up "the wicked witch" role. Thankfully, there are many roles and you don't have to remain a wicked witch forever.

The energy is intense right now at least for me. I screamed at my husband this morning that I hated him.... which really is not true...I love him so much and I want him to understand what it means to open his heart. The frustration builds, and then the pressure overflows, and I can't suppress my feelings any longer. And then I think am I just crazy??

I think it's normal to experience intense feelings when you are waking up... hatred, anger, rage it's all a part of us, we all experience these to one extent or another. Ra says we are everything and every emotion....this is hard to wrap our minds around, because we are so identified with our bodies and our lives and who we believe ourselves to be (mother, wife, sister, etc.) But when we look around the world and see how screwed up everything is...this is hard to fathom. EVERYTHING and EVERY emotion? Whoa

The things you are upset about now....I can see why and I can relate too. I get angry when I see such cruel words and actions. I am floored at times too, and I feel judgmental and hypocritical as well. The Lord knows I am far from perfect!

Organized religion? It has been a journey letting go of those chains for me, and there are others who wish to keep me shackled. Still working it through.

This fear over the shift you mentioned... walk through it, face it, TRUST God. God/Spirit is good and unconditionally loving, loves us so much, so completely! Realize the truth of that.
I've had the same fear, and that is what I go to when it comes up. I think this fear has to do with the idea that we are not "good enough". We are told this so much as children, and conditioned to believe it. It is a really ingrained into our Body/mind. But it's not true Kristy, you are perfect just as you are.

Most importantly don't forget to forgive , and accept and love yourself

Hi again, Kristy! I was wondering when you would post here again. I noticed you dipped out for a moment, and kinda guessed that you might be having all kinds of crazy experiences. lol! Maybe there's something I can say to help you remember that the procession of things is divinely perfect.

Before I reply to anything specific that you said, I wanted to say that I noticed a lot of phrases that say things like: "I can't take much more of humanity." "I can't seem to love unconditionally." "I don't like who I seem to have become." "I have this intense fear..." "I want to love." Those phrases are negative mantras that we repeat to ourselves when we're stuck perceiving ourselves as a consciousness of fear. They are limiting statements that are not true in any way at all except in the way that you make them true for yourself. (self-serving, see?) Ultimately, the goal at the end of the game is the end of suffering. And it will come when the concept of I is completely dropped. The I in each of those statements is an illusion. Ask yourself, "Who is this I that can't can't can't? Who is this I that is afraid and needy?" It's certainly not the real you. If you can, so to speak, skip to the last level of the game of life and manage to drop the I, you will be able to live in full awareness of the fact that you are a consciousness of love. The ego will never be able to love unconditionally. That's okay, because it's not its job. Unconditional Love doesn't and can't come from the ego. One of the people in the band Korn, when he was speaking about his spiritual experiences, said "All love comes from God."

(09-02-2010, 07:03 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

Those I help - even those who *ask* for my help - eventually turn on me (with great venom) when they are taken out of their comfort zones.

Why exactly are you taking people out of their comfort zones? It's sometimes true that a person must feel like concepts are being forced upon them to be able to make progress and growth in learning. But I don't think it's ever necessary to shine truths on others that have a high potential for taking them out of their own little comfort zone or way of interpreting life experience. They have those hardened barriers up for a reason, and they have been developing them for years or decades. When it's perceived by them that someone is trying to tear their walls down, the scared person behind the walls will get vicious! It's hard to reach the consciousness of a person when all they want to or know how to interact with you with is their ego. But it can be done, if you let Love speak through you. You will know how to speak to them without damaging their fragile ego. And you will know when they're ready to share truths. Outside of these forums, I've only met two people who I felt were ready for that, who I've been able to share my truths with.

(09-02-2010, 07:03 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

I have actually had fantasies of tearing her face off and other disgusting things - I couldn't believe a human being could do this to another human. What kind of person am I?????

It's all about how you used the catalyst. That lady reported you, and you had all those nerve wracking experiences of the interviews and everything. But in the end, you came out okay because you really are a good person. But, you beat yourself up over it. Why? The catalyst could be used to practice forgiveness for her and understanding of her motives. This option may have been hidden from you with your current mindset which seems to be struggling with a little negativity.

(09-02-2010, 07:03 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

My situation is, I know I need to blow it off and not take it personally. I know that I need to love unconditionally. I know that I need to SERVE. I know that we are "all one" and when I hate others, I hate myself. I know all of these things LOGICALLY. But I can't seem to burn them into my heart. Right now I hate so many human beings and when I see stuff they do and say, I hate them all the more.

It's agonizing, knowing those truths logically, but feeling none of them. It's because of these experiences that you'll be able to take all this, distill it, analyze it, forgive yourself, and feel the truths as true.

(09-02-2010, 07:03 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

I feel like I am not part of this group called humanity. I feel like I don't fit in. I feel so alienated from all of them. I know I should love them, but they disgust me. I even disgust myself because I am so much a human myself. I am judging them for being judgmental - how pathetic.

Just know that your mind is your mind. When you label it as a "human mind" or a "disgusting human curse" or something like that, you limit it. As long as your mind and thought process is judged and picked apart and labeled by itself, it will never be free. You can stop spiraling downwards through suffering at any time you wish. The negative thoughts about yourself, your person, your mind, that you take to be true, will only attract more negativity.

(09-02-2010, 07:03 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

I have this intense fear that I am "not going to make it"... (snip) Isn't there a way I can serve them without having to talk to them or interact with them? I don't want to be left behind.

But "you" will be left behind! lol What I mean is, that when it's time for ascension or what have you, you will leave your ego behind. Therefore, "I" will get left behind! Whether or not this happens on Dec 21, 2012, after that, or right now is entirely up to you. By no means is it necessary in any way to interact with this world through an ego. That's a truth that I'm trying to realize.

And yes, it is possible to serve humanity without interacting with them in any way! It's certainly not as effective though. It's about your state of being. No matter where you are, what you're doing, who you're talking to, it's only your state of being that will define your amount of service. As Bashar says, "Circumstances don't matter. Only state of being matters!" That's a good line to repeat to yourself.

Music is another way that I can share an essence of myself. To me, music can say much more than words. Although I haven't started composing just yet because don't yet have my music making equipment, I can still share with you a beautiful song I found yesterday. It's a great song to mediate on! Gandalf's "Sacred River" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VR6IscQH0s Just breathe and let it all flow away...

Glad to have you back on the forums.

Hi Kristy!

I'm sad to see you going through such a tough time. But I am glad to see that you are reaching out for a compassionate listening ear, a healthy venting of feelings and problems, and a fresh perspective, from our online community here.

I hope that something I can offer will help you. As always, please use whatever resonates with you as useful and true, and set the rest aside.

I had several months away as various problem-creating people in my life escalated their creation of problems... it's just what they do... to a level that was intolerable for me, and I couldn't even think straight enough to post here. I think that my isolation time was mostly a mistake, that I would have probably got through the nasty abusive situations better if I had continued to participate. Even if only to say, "well, life still sucks thanks to to the jerks!"

I did get past the worst, but perhaps it was harder than it had to be due to the withdrawal. So I think that in posting your anger and frustration here, you are doing better than I was by at least talking about the situation.

As for me, some important issues are still up in the air and my time & energy levels are very uncertain day to day. This is frustrating to me, in part because there is a lot more I would like to contribute as essays here. But some days all I can do is toss off a few responses that are not nearly as profound as I'd like to be, and some days I don't even get my act together that much.

It is appalling and horrific to learn that someone would make false accusations of child abuse, especially against such a sweet, loving, generous parent as yourself. I think the only solace there, besides your obvious vindication in the investigation, was that you are one of many victims. Clearly there is nothing you did to deserve this mistreatment.

I just joined Facebook, using a pseudonym, and have found it easy to find good people with kind hearts and happy, spiritually positive messages. Here is a tip: go to the search page, pick search in posts by everyone (the bottommost option), and put in "beautiful sharing." You can also use the search phrases "spiritual love," "kindness family," "tired divine," and "angel heart." You might be surprised at the positive conversations going on at Facebook, if you know how to look for them.

There is a chance that you are entirely right in supposing that you are not part of a humanity that is falling apart. Physically of course I assume you come from biological human parents. But spiritually, perhaps you are a Wanderer... someone who has already mastered the lessons of love and unity, and already lived in a community of souls or a planet where people simply get along, with peace and love and goodness to each other. Someone who is dismayed at how f'd up humanity on Earth is, and incarnated here in order to bring light and love to a world that badly needs it, but with a Veil of forgetfulness about the whole mission. In this way, the Wanderer's compassion is totally empathetic, through shared suffering with the natives on the planet here of pain and choice.

And finally, someone who is waking up to a vigorous dissatisfaction with pat answers, snap judgments and false dogmas, eagerly seeking something beyond what's "good enough to get by." I'm increasingly suspecting that this is true of me, and you know what, it seems likely enough it might be true of you too.

In any event, I agree with the suggestion to drain off the physical tension... run, lift weights, buy a punching bag and boxing gloves, whatever it takes to burn off the angry energy. The attacks came at you at the physical level. Unfortunately, in modern society you can't very well challenge people to a duel. But you still gotta let that angry energy flow through you and out, so there is room for something new to arrive. All the talk of welcoming grace and beauty, when the anger and frustration and fear are still pounding through your body, is like trying to stuff dessert into a pot sticky with yesterday's baked-on beans. The physical release is like elbow grease to scrub the pot, so it then has room to hold fluffy dessert.

This is something I think we all go through at some point...for me, it is an ongoing battle. At times it seems like nobody cares about anything anymore and the whole planet is just going to crap. I'm quite well-known for my periods of brooding on this subject.

The thing is, no matter how much it seems that way, EVERYONE isn't like that. In fact, people like that are in the minority. However, their cruel actions are usually potent enough to stand out more than the guy who lets you by in traffic or the person who holds the door open for you at the grocery store. If it seems like every single person around you is acting in a negative manner, maybe it's time to take stock of where you are and what you are doing. Being around a bunch of negative people all the time can bring even the most positive people down. Maybe it's time to start branching out and looking for more people who resonate with your mindset instead of wishing the people you know would change.

If you go by what Ra says, every action you see in another that hurts you reflects you in some way. If you see a lot of people acting out of hate and spite and bitterness and it hurts you, perhaps there is some unresolved pain and resentment in your heart as well. Of course, I realize I'm only partially aware of the situation you've found yourself in, and I'm only speaking from experience here. There is a woman I work with whom I absolutely can't stand because she constantly gossips and criticizes and complains about everything and never has a kind word to say. But then I realized how much like her I am- how I tend to gripe about every little thing that goes wrong and have a lack of patience when people don't understand what I want or refuse to do things my way. That was a heavy blow, seeing myself in this woman as if she was a mirror, but it inspired me to work harder on being thankful for what I have and now I'm glad I met her, even if I'm still not fond of her presence.

In the end, we've all got our flaws. We all do dumb crap- every last one of us. It is in our human nature to err, and to be provoked by our emotions. I've never met a single person who had it all under control all the time, because what would be the point of that? What would we learn if no one ever made mistakes? To love a friend is easy, but to love an enemy, not because they're nice to you but because they're a fellow soul on the same journey...that's the real mountain-mover. In general, when someone hurts me I try to think of what may be contributing to their situation...what factors are involved that I may not know about or would simply be content to ignore. Most of the peopls that act that way are nursing a great deal of pain themselves and they just don't know how to cope with it. It really helps me to put myself in the other person's shoes, even if their shoes are smelly.

Sorry if I sound preachy...it's just that I've gone through the same thing on and off for most of my life, and I know how bad those feelings can hurt, and how easy it is to give up hope. I'm not sure how much this would matter to you, but let me say that I love you with all my heart, even though I've never met you, and I send love and light your way, Sister. I'm not exactly the beacon of perfection, but what kindness I have is yours.

On a final note: one of the turning points in my life came from one sentence. I was talking to a Catholic priest one day. I automatically expected him to be judgemental and bigotous, but he wasn't. He said "You never know when holding the door open for someone will keep them from going home and killing themselves. Every action matters." Since then I've noticed so many more small opportunities to serve, and so many more acts of kindness that I otherwise would have simply ignored. At the very least, if you return hateful actions with kindness, you can act in a clear conscience and set the example for other people. People really do copy what they see. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. Smiles are contagious. So don't be afraid to lead the way. Trust me, others will follow.

Haha, Questioner! You should post your Facebook info on the Facebook thread that is now buried in Olio. (Started by Ayadew.) If you want to share, of course.

We also have a pictures thread buried somewhere in there too. Those can lead to all kinds of fun!

Edit: D'oh! I went digging for that thread just for kicks and saw your post in it. Theeeeeen I remembered that you've got the anonymity thing going on. That whole "We all do dumb crap- every last one of us." thing ahktu just said? I'm not exempt! I'm sorry. lol!

(09-02-2010, 07:58 PM)Eddie Wrote: [ -> ]There is only one being in the Universe. Everything you perceive as being outside yourself, is within yourself. You are experiencing a mirror of the inside.

**so does this mean that each of "us" are inside of the whole of "God"...like all my cells are 'individual' - but at the same time they are ALL "me"?

(09-02-2010, 07:58 PM)Eddie Wrote: [ -> ]Love yourself. Realize that God loves you with an infinite love.

**This is one of those logical statements that I know is truth. But the sad part is, I don't know how to do it. I can 'say' it, but not mean it. I want to *really* feel it. I don't know how. :o(

(09-02-2010, 07:58 PM)Eddie Wrote: [ -> ]Once your internal dialogue train stops, manifest light. You can manifest brilliant white light and hold it inside yourself. Pretty soon, you'll start to glow, and other-selves will reflect that brilliance back at you. They will always mirror what is inside.

**This was a profound statement to me. Also a scary one - because if all the creeps who have been hurting me ...even on purpose...are my mirror, then I feel like a real loser. But I LOVE what you said about holding light within, and pretty soon I'll be glowing and then others will mirror me. BRILLLIANT!!

THANK YOU!!

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(09-02-2010, 08:01 PM)zanny Wrote: [ -> ]My best advise for you right now is to allow all the emotion you are feeling right now to be expressed...Punch a pillow, go into the bathroom and scream have a tantrum the likes of which your children have never seen...(if you need to). Then when you have experienced all that the emotion has to offer you for the moment, think on how you were led to this place, what within you wanted to end up there and why.

**I've been doing plenty of yelling and crying - lots of crying especially. And I could write a whole new dictionary with the cuss words I've invented. It felt good to release those emotions, but it was also negative for me because it brought up my blood pressure, and it made me feel "GUILTY" (conditioning, yes...I know)

(09-02-2010, 08:01 PM)zanny Wrote: [ -> ]There is a wonderful opportunity for you here- to grow by leaps and bounds.

**Really? How can I figure out what it is?

Thank you for everything, Zanny...

This session may also speak to you.

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._1006.aspx

(09-02-2010, 08:40 PM)Shemaya Wrote: [ -> ]First of all, see if you can get centered and remember who you are. You are the Creator...and sometimes the Creator dreams up "the wicked witch" role. Thankfully, there are many roles and you don't have to remain a wicked witch forever.

** It is so hard for me to imagine a loving creator to be a 'wicked witch' or a dirty rotten b*stard, or a ...well, don't get me started. Why...why...why on earth would a creator want to be something like that? Just for the experience of it? And to go even further, why would creator decide to create "others" who would judge "us" on the very thing it created? For instance, people are judging me, or shall I say "creator" is judging me, on something that it created. (am I making any sense?)

(09-02-2010, 08:40 PM)Shemaya Wrote: [ -> ]The energy is intense right now at least for me. I screamed at my husband this morning that I hated him.... which really is not true...I love him so much and I want him to understand what it means to open his heart.[ /quote]

** This reminds me of something that happened to a woman I know about. She was fighting with her husband one day and he decided to leave to go cool off. As he was walking out the door, she screamed at him, "DROP DEAD!!" When he was out driving around, he got in a car accident and was killed. His mortician told me about the incident. It made me try (try try try) to be careful with my words. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work . :-/


[quote='Shemaya' pid='19071' dateline='1283474455']I think it's normal to experience intense feelings when you are waking up... hatred, anger, rage it's all a part of us, we all experience these to one extent or another.

** Why? I mean, why do all the crappy ones have to surface when we're waking up? It's feels self-defeating. Wah!

(09-02-2010, 08:40 PM)Shemaya Wrote: [ -> ]Organized religion? It has been a journey letting go of those chains for me, and there are others who wish to keep me shackled. Still working it through.

** me, too. Was STAUNCH in my religion for many years. When I left, I lost everyone. I'm fairly over that, but what haunts me now is the guilt - still never feeling 'worthy'. Feeling terrified I'll never make it...that I'll fail.

(09-02-2010, 08:40 PM)Shemaya Wrote: [ -> ]This fear over the shift you mentioned... walk through it, face it, TRUST God. God/Spirit is good and unconditionally loving, loves us so much, so completely! Realize the truth of that.

** This is another area that I get confused. Because I'm taught that there is 'only one of us' - that we are the creator, and at the same time I'm taught that the creator loves me, and you, and all of 'us'. I don't get it.

(09-02-2010, 08:40 PM)Shemaya Wrote: [ -> ]Most importantly don't forget to forgive , and accept and love yourself

** again, I know this logically...just don't know how to do it in my heart. *sniff*

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(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Hi again, Kristy! I was wondering when you would post here again. I noticed you dipped out for a moment, and kinda guessed that you might be having all kinds of crazy experiences.

** boy, you hit THAT nail right on the head! I've been going through so much crap that I can't even think straight. But it sure feels goooood to be back here. Kind of like 'coming home'. I feel like sighing deep...ahhhhhh....

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Before I reply to anything specific that you said, I wanted to say that I noticed a lot of phrases that say things like: "I can't take much more of humanity." "I can't seem to love unconditionally." "I don't like who I seem to have become." "I have this intense fear..." "I want to love." Those phrases are negative mantras that we repeat to ourselves when we're stuck perceiving ourselves as a consciousness of fear. They are limiting statements that are not true in any way at all except in the way that you make them true for yourself. (self-serving, see?)

** O...M...G!! What a "lights on" statement for me! WOW!! "SELF SERVING"...see? YES! I see! A person doesn't even think of this kind of self talk as self serving. Holy moley! ((what's a "moley"?))

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Ask yourself, "Who is this I that can't can't can't? Who is this I that is afraid and needy?" It's certainly not the real you.

** wow! So true! Thank you for helping me to understand!! I almost feel like a puppet, and my ego is the "man with the hand up my back" - the ventriloquist. The ego is trying to make me believe that it is ME who's the total jerk and I....AM ... NOT!!! Now, some would say that this is just me trying to evade responsibility for my thoughts and actions...a 'devil made me do it' attitude. I honestly wouldn't know how to answer them if they threw this at me. Ideas?

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]If you can, so to speak, skip to the last level of the game of life and manage to drop the I, you will be able to live in full awareness of the fact that you are a consciousness of love.

** YES! I love this! It reminds me of the game of Monopoly! I have been playing the "go straight to jail" card - living in the bondage of hatred and bitterness because I believed "I" am the ego. I could have been sitting pretty on another piece of the game board, or skipped right to the end part where I WIN!!!!!

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]The ego will never be able to love unconditionally. That's okay, because it's not its job. Unconditional Love doesn't and can't come from the ego.

** You have nooooo idea how much this statement means to me. This statement alone, if I can always be mindful of it, will help me to get through the times (hopefully skip them altogether!!) when I am tempted to hate myself for being a poop and not being loving. I hope to be able to remind myself of "who's doing the talkin' " in situations like that. Then I can just tell it to bah-humbug right outa here. WHY is the ego such a creep? Why does it want so much pain? I just don't get it!!

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Why exactly are you taking people out of their comfort zones?

** It's not that I'm trying to...it just 'happens'. For instance, since I was so active - even a leader - in the church that I belonged to, you can imagine how UNCOMFORTABLE they became when I left the church. My faith was so strong, I was so 'stalwart', that it felt like an impossibility to them for me to question the faith and want 'more'. I belonged to a religion that believed they had it ALL - the whole truth and everybody else had only partial truths or none at all. So..the people were way outside of their comfort zones and began to imagine all sorts of reason I left - like I was one of the "elect" that satan deceived, or I had sinned (the most common response) with something very bad and 'lost the spirit', etc.

Another way it happens is I might ask a question about something, and they take it as an attack. This happened just yesterday. I had someone on Facebook post that we should all smoke marijuana. I think Hemp is an outstanding, useful plant. But I personally believe that the lungs were intended to take in oxygen, and not smoke created from a dried/burning plant. Well, I asked the person what they believed the purpose of the lungs were, and they felt attacked. I didn't mean it that way and even said so - I was just curious. They went BALLISTIC!! I can't even begin to tell you the vile names I got called - filthy names for female genitalia, every version of the "F" bomb, loser, "fat" (how would they know?), social reject, lost and alone, etc. etc. It was really bad. I just sat there with my jaw on the floor trying to understand what had just happened. But it upset me SO bad that this person would be so ugly...in the name of "God" (he would say in one sentence "jah rastafari" and in the next he'd say "F*CK YOU!!! ") ????

Lastly, sometimes people try to convert me to their church. I have tried nicely to explain that I don't go to church and I have my own beliefs, but they push it..."do you believe that Jesus Christ died for you sins??" etc etc. They don't like my answers and then they are pulled out of their comfort zones, meaning they think I'm a servant of the devil, etc. I'll never forget when my dear friend turned on me and cast a spell on me - I felt like I was being "exorcised". It was troubling and pathetic at the same time. It felt surreal. Wow...me...a demon. Who'd of thunk?

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]It's hard to reach the consciousness of a person when all they want to or know how to interact with you with is their ego.

** EXCELLENT POINT! WOWOWOWOW!!!!! It's not THEM being a creep, it's their ego!! again, why are egos such poops?

It's all about how you used the catalyst. That lady reported you, and you had all those nerve wracking experiences of the interviews and everything. But in the end, you came out okay because you really are a good person. But, you beat yourself up over it. Why? The catalyst could be used to practice forgiveness for her and understanding of her motives.[/quote]

** I knew all along it was probably a catalyst - I just didn't know how to forgive her - and I still don't. Probably because it was so pre-meditated and carefully thought/planned out for the sole purpose of hurting me. How...how...how does one forgive? I want to...I just don't know how. I want to overcome this hatred - it is really getting to me. I can say, though, that it has lessened a bit now that the threat is over.

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Just know that your mind is your mind. When you label it as a "human mind" or a "disgusting human curse" or something like that, you limit it. As long as your mind and thought process is judged and picked apart and labeled by itself, it will never be free.

** Another light bulb moment for me...thank you!!! :idea: !!!

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]You can stop spiraling downwards through suffering at any time you wish. The negative thoughts about yourself, your person, your mind, that you take to be true, will only attract more negativity.

** EEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! Now THAT'S scary!!

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]But "you" will be left behind! lol What I mean is, that when it's time for ascension or what have you, you will leave your ego behind. Therefore, "I" will get left behind!

** YEEEEHAAAWWW!!!!! :

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Whether or not this happens on Dec 21, 2012, after that, or right now is entirely up to you. By no means is it necessary in any way to interact with this world through an ego.

** but how...has anybody on here written a lesson manual?

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]And yes, it is possible to serve humanity without interacting with them in any way! It's certainly not as effective though. It's about your state of being.

** So are you saying that by me just having a good loving attitude and holding on to the light (as well as emanating it) - that love spreads forth and affects every other "person"? Therefore....serving them? And by the way, I totally agree that music can touch the soul!! And thank you for sharing that song...I'll go listen to it.

(09-02-2010, 09:57 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Glad to have you back on the forums.[/quote ]

** Sooooo glad to be back! I feel so calm now. This is where I am supposed to be right now. Many thanks!!

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[quote='Questioner' pid='19076' dateline='1283480196']
I think that my isolation time was mostly a mistake, that I would have probably got through the nasty abusive situations better if I had continued to participate. Even if only to say, "well, life still sucks thanks to to the jerks!"

** I, too, should have stayed here and participated. And I am certainly happy that you took the time to write to me and help me out.

About Facebook - I am on there now - been on a couple of years and have reconnected with a lot of old friends and estranged family members. But I've run into some first class @#$! too. I like your idea about sifting through to find the kind of energy that I'd like on my page. It's my choice - I control what I want on there and I don't have time nor the energy (or desire) to read people's intense judgments of one another. Thank you for the advice!

oh shoot! It's late and I have to do a few more things before I go to bed. I will continue this tomorrow and also respond to the other kind sweet people who have helped me and answered me today. So until then...goodnight all. xoxoxoxo

Dear Kristy,

I admire your courage in honestly expressing what you are experiencing and feeling. I just got home (late) and haven't even read all the replies yet, and will post more tomorrow, but for now I wanted to at least offer a few suggestions.

I have experienced, to some degree, what you are experienced. I've been there. I've been shocked at feelings that I never imagined I could have. I've felt frustrated with people not 'getting it' when it all seemed so simple to me. And I've been accused of being a 'satanic witch' and even 'satan himself' by religious fanatics when all I did was dare to wear a certain piece of jewelry that they thought was evil. So I can definitely relate!

The person who reported you probably thought you were an evil influence on your children. When people are in such a state of fear, they don't think rationally. They don't even see all the wonderful traits of a good parent, but are blinded by their dogma.

You came from a fear-based religion, as did I. In my experience, I discovered that the fears I had as a fundamentalist Christian just got transferred over to my 'New Age' beliefs. The 'rapture' became the 'ascension,' proselytizing to people became 'enlightening them,' fear of 'hell' became fear of getting stuck in 3D, expectation of others becoming Christians got turned into expectations of them becoming harvestable, etc.

It's all the same pattern...just the stage is different.

At this juncture, all our deepest issues are rising to the surface. Many of us here have either experienced similar things, perhaps to varying degrees, but deep, suppressed issues may be rising to the surface where they can be healed.

The good news is that becoming aware of these issues is the first step towards healing!

I agree that hitting a pillow, running, martial arts, or some other physical activity might offer a physical release in a harmless way, so that you can get these feelings out. But only for a little while. The release of intense emotions must be replaced by positive mantras and getting clear on setting your intentions to change.

Deep breathing is key. Past traumas can be stored in the cellular tissues and breathwork can access them and clear them.

Of course, you already know that the ultimate goal is forgiveness of both self and other-selves. But at this stage, allow yourself to express your feelings in a harmless way, rather than suppress them, until which time the forgiveness starts flowing.

These people are all just mirroring to you your deepest fears. As your fears are cleared, they will either change in their attitude towards you, or you'll find yourself around different people, because you'll no longer need their mirroring.

In the meantime, I suggest avoiding discussing anything controversial with them. You can be of service without rocking their boat. For many years, I was very careful to never disclose to my fundamentalist friends what I really believed, or wear a Pentacle around them, or anything like that. There was just no point. I know that this approach might seem to be a disservice to who I really am, but it just wasn't worth the grief! I am still cautious when in certain settings. I don't flaunt anything that I know will cause them to become fearful. This was especially important when my child was little, since we too live in a community dominated by fundamentalists.

Interestingly, lately I've been noticing that more and more of them seem to be less fanatical and are actually able to engage in conversation. Some are even open in some ways! So I've learned to meet them on their own turf, so to speak. If we have a discussion, I frame my thoughts in terminology they can relate to. This has helped tremendously!

I'm sure others have already posted great suggestions, and I may think of other suggestions in the morning, but for now, please remember that you DO have a spiritual family here! who love you and are, right now, sending you lots of love and light, to help you work thru this. Don't hesitate to ask our Confederation friends for help as well!

Please stay with us and let us know how you're doing. You're not alone!

to you!

This reminds me of a dark moment I had in a meditation once...I was feeling very tired of life and had a really bad mood about everything. I reminded myself in that meditation that "happiness is an internal choice" and nothing more. It is not dependent upon anything else in existence except for you own choosing to feel good/worthy/peaceful/etc. In that moment of remembering this logically, I decided I would follow my own advice and just begin feeling good inside simply because I want to and then I did. Instantly. (It happened so fast because I was finally willing to feel good for the sake of simply preferring to)

I would suggest to you to just feel good about yourself and feel worthy of loving vibrations for just that reason...simply because you choose it.

Then if anyone comes to you with bad intentions and/or bad vibes, they will be either deterred from interacting with you in any way or simply cease to be around in your daily life. I have seen it happen in my life over and over again...and the only time this dynamic changes for me is when I allow myself to feel negative about anything at all. Godspeed in your endeavor kristy.

If you have been doing exercises to keep those that mean harm to you away, creating bright white light around you. This could be in direct relation to the process. I know before I ran into the LOO materials that I used to automatically think up a bubble around me that kept all those that did not mean anything positive towards me away from me. For a while these people came out of the woodwork trying to attack me, say hurtful things to me without any regards for our friendship. And like you mentioned even people that I had helped out of problems or even go up on their ladder to success. What I realized then is that what I had been doing had begun to work and that these people that mean you harm finally begin to understand that you are shielding yourself away from them. That you will no longer tolerate their drama or misfortune as your own. And of course that upsets the balance that you had been creating all along... with your new creation you must visualize none of these people in your life. Allow those that need help to come to you and then slowly vanish to allow others that need help to come to you. This has helped me a great deal, in this way I don't have people draining me emotionally anymore, they get the help they need if I can provide it and move on. After all I don't have the need for their approval or thanks, I give and help because I can, nothing more.
So, if you have all these things happening around you I would say you are doing things right to an extent. Visualize a more positive outcome after helping others and let them come to you, instead of you coming to them. Too many people are weary of people offering help and don't appreciate it even if everyone around them clearly sees they need a hand.
I hope that helps you, if it doesn't, take of it what you will and never give up, it is up to us to change this crazy world we live on, one person at a time

Dear Kristy,
May I share some resources to help you through troubled times?

I know I must sound like the proverbial broken record, but I cannot stress enough just how much assistance and comfort is available to us on the Sons of the Law of One web site. The podcasts are, for the most part, great. There are a few episodes of weak material, but you'll weed those out right away. Nearly all are worth your time and attention. I listen to 3 or 4 every day, meaning that I have listened to most of them dozens of times. If you are able, get yourself an iPod or similar device, download the podcasts, and listen to them during your quiet time. They are a great blessing.

Sons of the Law of One Podcast Page

Sons of the Law of One Archive Page (both live streaming and downloading are available here)

Another great resource is testimonies of Near-Death experiencers. When I was at my darkest hour, I managed to find one of these on a blog. I traced down the source and eventually was led to this web site:
www.near-death.com
I urge you to explore the testimonies here. When the lessons sink in, you'll see that you are loved, protected, and helped at all times, not only by the Divine Creator, but by many advanced and benevolent beings who serve the One Infinite Creator. You'll see that there is no reason to fear death; and if you do not fear death, what else is there to fear? Certainly not busybody otherselves.

Finally, please keep in touch here at Bring4th. Simple 3rd-density entities though we may be, we're all pulling for your success, happiness, and inner peace.

(09-02-2010, 07:03 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]My situation is, I know I need to blow it off and not take it personally. I know that I need to love unconditionally. I know that I need to SERVE. I know that we are "all one" and when I hate others, I hate myself. I know all of these things LOGICALLY. But I can't seem to burn them into my heart.
Kristy the wicked witch[/font][/size][/align]

Kristy,
I think it might help if you don't take others opinion of you to the heart. Don't judge yourself based upon their reaction to your being. The most important opinion is your own.

People will do what they have/want to do and you will do what you want to do. They are unrelated, really.

I know in practice it is not as cut and dry as we love some of these people and maybe care about them but in reality let the feeling of caring with detachment towards the results, go deeper and deeper... The divine is always with you and love you unconditionally...

(09-02-2010, 10:16 PM)Questioner Wrote: [ -> ]There is a chance that you are entirely right in supposing that you are not part of a humanity that is falling apart. Physically of course I assume you come from biological human parents. But spiritually, perhaps you are a Wanderer...

**I highly suspect that I am, and sometimes that thought is the only thing that keeps me from giving up when I feel I can't take humanity's crap any longer. It's just hard to think that I chose to BE a human, if I am indeed really a wanderer - because being human is sooooooo extremely hard for me thus far. I was born into *severe* problems that never have let up. I often wonder how I can be of help to others when I can't even manage myself? Any insights??

(09-02-2010, 10:16 PM)Questioner Wrote: [ -> ]And finally, someone who is waking up to a vigorous dissatisfaction with pat answers, snap judgments and false dogmas, eagerly seeking something beyond what's "good enough to get by." I'm increasingly suspecting that this is true of me, and you know what, it seems likely enough it might be true of you too.

** You got that right! And I have been bombarded with 'pat' answers my whole life - they're all DIFFERENT answers depending on who you talk to, but they ALL claim the answers are "pat".

(09-02-2010, 10:16 PM)Questioner Wrote: [ -> ]All the talk of welcoming grace and beauty, when the anger and frustration and fear are still pounding through your body, is like trying to stuff dessert into a pot sticky with yesterday's baked-on beans.

** Don't I know it! There are times when someone tells me to let the love and light in (when I'm really angry) - It is so impossible and even stupid sounding that I want to slap them...haha. ;o)

Much love to you!!!!! And many thanks!! ~ Kristy

I'm glad to see that our community here is helping you regain some sanity.

What would you say is your biggest challenge these days? Is it dealing with people who are randomly cruel, hostile, and full of insane "reasons" that they couldn't choose to behave decently because of something wrong about you? Is it getting through the ups and downs of daily life? Digging deeper into the spiritual/metaphysical perspective of the Law of One? Finding peace in meditation? Overcoming the alienation of not having many people who see life in terms of helpfulness and beauty?

What can we focus on that is most helpful to you at this time?

(09-02-2010, 10:32 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]Maybe it's time to start branching out and looking for more people who resonate with your mindset instead of wishing the people you know would change.

** Agreed. One sad thing is, though, I can be on Facebook, for instance, and a complete stranger that is a "friend of a friend" will read a response to someone I may have answered or tried to help, and if they don't agree with me, they turn into the world's biggest jerk and bring all kinds of bad energy to my "wall" (page). Or a family member (usually a religious one) who doesn't like or agree with the way I live, can have a fit about something and become venomous towards me. Certain family members think it's appalling that I don't hate...yes HATE....gays and lesbians. I believe they should be able to marry and have children, and I might as well tell my religious friends and relatives that I sacrifice things to satan - that's how bad they react to my being non-judgmental towards gay/lesbian people. I hate to even "label" them (g's and l's)...they're people, for god-sake!

(09-02-2010, 10:32 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]If you go by what Ra says, every action you see in another that hurts you reflects you in some way.

** This makes me feel sad and scared, but some of the things I see in others is disgusting, violent, vile, cruel, etc. To think that I have those things inside of me makes me feel....well, you know...the conditioned "guilty".

(09-02-2010, 10:32 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]In general, when someone hurts me I try to think of what may be contributing to their situation...what factors are involved that I may not know about or would simply be content to ignore.

** I try to do that, although I'm not too good at it. I can understand people doing stupid mean things when they are hurting themselves. The thing that I don't understand is pre-meditated, carefully thought out purposeful pain inflicted upon others, like the woman who, on purpose, sent a letter to Child Protective Services and bashed out a bunch of filthy lies about me. Her only purpose was to cause extreme pain and stress, and she succeeded. I don't understand how anybody could be that heartless. And if she is a reflection of me...well, I don't see that kind of malice and hatred within myself. Actually, I DID see it *after* she reported us...but it was all directed towards her. I could have easily, with full purpose of heart, hurt her very, very bad...and probably would have enjoyed it. When someone messes with my babies - watch out.

(09-02-2010, 10:32 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not sure how much this would matter to you, but let me say that I love you with all my heart, even though I've never met you, and I send love and light your way, Sister. I'm not exactly the beacon of perfection, but what kindness I have is yours.

** It matters a great deal to me and I thank you so much for your love. I, too, love you...and when I read your declaration of love it made me smile and lifted a weight from me.

I also thank you for the quote you sent about the Catholic priest. Very good advice indeed. I find the deepest satisfaction and inner "fluttery joyful feelings" when I do the simplest things, like opening a door with a smile, helping an old person get something from the top shelves at the grocery store, or touching someone's shoulder when you greet them. I found that people are more loving and open to me when I just touch them - it's like I'm transferring love to them and they can feel it.

love love love, Kristy

---

(09-02-2010, 10:41 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]Haha, Questioner! You should post your Facebook info on the Facebook thread that is now buried in Olio. (Started by Ayadew.)

** What is Olio?

---

(09-02-2010, 11:40 PM)Aaron Wrote: [ -> ]This session may also speak to you.

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._1006.aspx

** I will go there, and thank you for posting this!!

dear kristy

i dont have any answers for you but i would like to say i LOVE what u said about gay and lesbian people. why do we identify them by their
sexuality. they are PEOPLE as you so aptly put it. it never occured to me
just like that before but your saying it really made it sink in. we certainly dont go around saying oh hes a heterosexual now do we. thanks for that
thought

love
norral

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']
The person who reported you probably thought you were an evil influence on your children. When people are in such a state of fear, they don't think rationally. They don't even see all the wonderful traits of a good parent, but are blinded by their dogma.[/quote]

** Actually, the woman (who falsely accused us and reported us) was involved in a very fraudulent business dealing with us, and she didn't like that we called her on the carpet about it (and we weren't even mean about it!). I also believe she is jealous of the woman I am - I seem to be somebody she wants to be (she's even said so). Anyway, she wrote a letter to C.P.S. and pretended to be our handyman (who also happens to be our VERY dear friend). She then commenced to make up all kinds of stories that were totally untrue. She got her 'info' from my facebook page - and then she'd warp it. For instance, our cats found a rat in the forest (I live in the forest in Kentucky...we have "critters" for goodness sake!!). I told my friends on Facebook that the cats killed a rat outside. The woman told CPS that our home was "filthy and infested with rats and mice". Or I'd post that I had insomnia one night, and slept until noon (hubby watched the kids). So she'd write "Kristy stays up all night and sleeps half the day, leaving the children unattended." She also accused my husband of sexual abuse. There were MANY filthy horrible accusations - none of which were true. I was sickened that she'd say all of those things on purpose with the full intention of hurting us terribly.

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']You came from a fear-based religion, as did I. In my experience, I discovered that the fears I had as a fundamentalist Christian just got transferred over to my 'New Age' beliefs. The 'rapture' became the 'ascension,' proselytizing to people became 'enlightening them,' fear of 'hell' became fear of getting stuck in 3D, expectation of others becoming Christians got turned into expectations of them becoming harvestable, etc.

It's all the same pattern...just the stage is different.[/quote]

** SO TRUE!! My husband and I have commented on this several times. In fact, to be honest, it has even made us wonder if we've just gone from one fear-based thing (religion) to another ("new age" thinking). How can we know that we haven't? Some say that religion just "said it wrong" or understood it wrong. They think the rapture is Jesus taking people into the clouds so he can destroy the world, but in reality, they misunderstood the "whisperings of Spirit" and it really means that people will "ascend". I'd LOVE some further insights on all of this because I'm telling you, sometimes me and hubby feel like we're headed for the same crud, just taking a different road.

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']The good news is that becoming aware of these issues is the first step towards healing![/quote]

** GREAT! But now does one figure out what the other steps are?

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']Deep breathing is key. Past traumas can be stored in the cellular tissues and breathwork can access them and clear them.[/quote]

** Okay, starting to do those now and will continue to do so. I learned a thing called "Square Breathing" which is especially soothing as it turns on the 'relaxation response' in the brain.

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']Of course, you already know that the ultimate goal is forgiveness of both self and other-selves.[/quote]

** Yep...I know that. My problem is...I don't know how. Me and hubby are always saying that the people who seem to be more wise than us always give us flowery and beautiful things to ponder, and tell us what we need to do, but never give any instructions. Being the clueless people we are when it comes to things like this, we remain just that....clueless.

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']These people are all just mirroring to you your deepest fears.[/quote]

** How does them being total @#$! towards me reveal my fears? What I mean is, how come they don't show a literal fear, but instead act like big butt-nuggets? How can I decipher what fears I need to handle if all I am being is a scum-sucking, mean-spirited, wicked behavior?

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']As your fears are cleared, they will either change in their attitude towards you, or you'll find yourself around different people, because you'll no longer need their mirroring.[/quote]

** Hopefully the latter...haha.

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']In the meantime, I suggest avoiding discussing anything controversial with them. You can be of service without rocking their boat. For many years, I was very careful to never disclose to my fundamentalist friends what I really believed, or wear a Pentacle around them, or anything like that. There was just no point. I know that this approach might seem to be a disservice to who I really am, but it just wasn't worth the grief![/quote]

** This is something I REALLY struggle with. For instance, my mom has no problem telling me about scriptures, a book, a talk, or a miracle she's heard about. And she has no problem "bearing her testimony" to me. But when I've tried to share things with her, I literally had her hand in my face and she said, "Stop...I don't want to hear it." It seems that way with all my religious friends, too. They can praise Jesus or whatever, but I can't be who I really am. I can't support gay marriage, I can't play on Sunday, I can't NOT hate people who don't like the pledge of allegiance with "one nation under god" in it, etc. They want me to hate. I remember my hubby and I went to dinner with a bunch of people that he served a mormon mission with, and he had left the church by then. He had a small "soul patch" type of goatie, and his hair was slightly longer. He had on a hippie choker (and he looked smokin' hot, I might add...haha). The missionary friends were "aghast" at the change in him ....very shocked, and they said so. He's still the same man (only better...hehe) I want to be me without having people condemn me for it...especially when they think they can flaunt their 'true selves' in my face without so much as a wince from me.

[quote='Bring4th_Monica' pid='19091' dateline='1283490805']...but for now, please remember that you DO have a spiritual family here! who love you and are, right now, sending you lots of love and light, to help you work thru this. Don't hesitate to ask our Confederation friends for help as well![/quote]

** That means the world to me and more...I really do feel like this place and the people in it are "home and family". I feel so comfortable here. How could I forget?? After reading all of the responses that I got on my "crazy lunatic" post, I felt such intense peace and calm. I felt soooooooooo much better, which told me that I was hearing truth and it was what my spirit needed, because I felt it not only physically, but at a soul level.

I thank you all with every fiber of my being.

---

[quote='norral' pid='19130' dateline='1283539249']
i dont have any answers for you but i would like to say i LOVE what u said about gay and lesbian people. why do we identify them by their
sexuality. they are PEOPLE as you so aptly put it. it never occured to me
just like that before but your saying it really made it sink in. we certainly dont go around saying oh hes a heterosexual now do we. thanks for that
thought.[/quote]

** wow...I feel better today already that I helped somebody out. Thanks for letting me know!

I think about this kind of thing quite often. For instance, I can be watching a darling little girl playing and saying something cute (and she was black)...so later I'd tell someone about it: "Oh, you should have seen the precious little BLACK girl I saw playing today...blah blah blah." Would I do that if the child was white? Would I say, "Oh you should have seen the darling little WHITE child I saw today..."? Nope...I wouldn't. It has really made me look deep inside at all the labels we give each other. Black, white, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, transsexual, republican, democrat, yuppie, hip-hopper, "star" (barf), etc. We're all people. We all have bad breath in the morning, bleed red blood, laugh when we're happy, cry when we're sad, and we all want to love and be loved. So why all the labels? Why all the rules??? I had a piece of Dove chocolate one day and when I unwrapped it, the message inside said, "Love Without Rules". I have kept that wrapper for many years as a reminder of our shared humanity.

---

[quote='Turtle' pid='19094' dateline='1283498656']
I reminded myself in that meditation that "happiness is an internal choice" and nothing more. It is not dependent upon anything else in existence except for you own choosing to feel good/worthy/peaceful/etc. In that moment of remembering this logically, I decided I would follow my own advice and just begin feeling good inside simply because I want to and then I did. Instantly.[ /quote]

** I have tried that but can't seem to fully 'feel' it like you described. I've had people tell me to "fake it 'til I make it"...but that didn't feel authentic to me. I was feeling like dookey, so why pretend I don't? It was like a lie to myself and I knew it. But I DO believe that happiness is a choice. So maybe I'm doing it wrong? I am not sure how to do it right.

THANK YOU... !!!

Hello Kristy

I've been down the plug hole a few times in the place you describe. I want to send you love lots of bright shiny love!

I'll share an old saying helped me at times like this.

Two men looked out from prison bars,
One saw mud,
The other saw stars.



You know love. Hold that tiny spark inside yourself and trust it, love it. Then look to the light, were ever you find it. (There’s lots kicking round here) xxx

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** Actually, the woman (who falsely accused us and reported us) was involved in a very fraudulent business dealing with us, and she didn't like that we called her on the carpet about it (and we weren't even mean about it!). I also believe she is jealous of the woman I am...

That's a very astute observation! I think you nailed it! I've had conflicts with women who were jealous of me also, so I can relate. But to blatantly LIE like that...how horrible! I can see why this has upset you so! Especially since your children could have been affected! That will get the maternal protective instinct fired up!

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

(09-03-2010, 01:13 AM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: [ -> ]It's all the same pattern...just the stage is different.

** SO TRUE!! My husband and I have commented on this several times. In fact, to be honest, it has even made us wonder if we've just gone from one fear-based thing (religion) to another ("new age" thinking). How can we know that we haven't? Some say that religion just "said it wrong" or understood it wrong. They think the rapture is Jesus taking people into the clouds so he can destroy the world, but in reality, they misunderstood the "whisperings of Spirit" and it really means that people will "ascend". I'd LOVE some further insights on all of this because I'm telling you, sometimes me and hubby feel like we're headed for the same crud, just taking a different road.

The road is irrelevant. The destination is what's important. The beliefs don't matter. The heart is what matters.

Just as a Christian absolutely CAN awaken the heart and polarize STO via their religion, so too can a New Ager (or even Law of One student) sink into fear and shut down the heart...

Either path can result in polarizing to either STS or STO. The paths aren't STS or STO, although they may be biased one way or the other. We know the Law of One, as presented by our Confederation friends, is biased to STO, but knowledge itself has no polarity. It could be argued that the Christian faith is biased to STO, and it can just as easily be argued that it's biased to STS (just read the old testament!).

We all know of mega-church pastors who seem to be into the power, greed and glory...and we all know of beautiful, loving Christian people as well. The religion isn't the issue. People can choose either path with a fundamentalist religion, and they can choose either path with any New Age teachings, the Law of One included.

My suggestion is to focus on the path you're choosing...the knowledge is secondary. The knowledge, in this case the Law of One, is intended as a guidance system, but not the end-all.

It's obvious that fear is an issue. My suggestion is to not blame the system. Fear can be found in any system, just as love can be found in any system. If a person prefers Christianity, they can find the love by focusing on the teachings of Jesus, rather than the hell stuff or the violence/hatred that is also found in the book. If a person prefers the Law of One as their chosen philosophical guidance system, they can find the love too.

Either way, it's not the system, but the choice that is important. So I suggest don't blame the Law of One for inadvertently taking you down the path of fear. The fear was already there. It's just manifesting no matter which system you choose. So the solution is to deal with the fear. Then, it really won't matter whether you're a Christian, a New Ager, a Buddhist, or whatever.

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

(09-03-2010, 01:13 AM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: [ -> ]Of course, you already know that the ultimate goal is forgiveness of both self and other-selves.

** Yep...I know that. My problem is...I don't know how. Me and hubby are always saying that the people who seem to be more wise than us always give us flowery and beautiful things to ponder, and tell us what we need to do, but never give any instructions. Being the clueless people we are when it comes to things like this, we remain just that....clueless.

OK, here are some 'instructions' of some techniques I have personally found to be extremely powerful. I invite you to consider these and use whichever ones appeal to you.

1. The technique given to us by Q'uo. Unfortunately, I don't remember which session. (Anyone?) What you do is tune into your body...see if you can locate a physical sensation of fear, hatred, anger, or whatever the negative emotion is. Where do you feel it? Probably in the lower chakras area. Locate that emotion in your body and then bring it up to the heart. How? Just WILL it up to the heart. You can use visualization if you like. I would usually see it as a big black blob of muck. See this blob of muck rising, rising, rising all the way to the heart. No, it won't blacken the heart. Quite the opposite! The heart will transform it into love! Affirm your intention that you want to transform this negative emotion into love and forgiveness. Say this to yourself as you do this exercise. Q'uo states that the heart is actually a device for doing this very thing. Sort of like the Play-Do fun factory gadget that takes the blob of Play-Do in and outputs a fun shape. This technique works. It's amazing!

2. ho'oponopono - When in the midst of anger or hatred towards someone, no matter who it is, visualize that person in your mind and then say this prayer, and direct it to that person:

I'm sorry
I forgive you
I love you
Thank you

Repeat it many times. This covers all the bases. Legend says that a shaman did this prayer for all the patients at a mental hospital and all the patients were healed. It's powerful.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho%27oponopono

3. Rebirthing - If you can find a qualified Rebirthing practitioner, this could help facilitate the release of those old karmic patterns. Because likely you are re-experiencing emotions left over from past interactions with these people. I once re-experienced momentary hatred as I remembered a past life in which someone killed me. It was very liberating to realize the source of the feeling, and then I was able to forgive the person. Rebirthing is a breathing technique, facilitated by the practitioner, in which old cellular memories are accessed, released, and replaced by positive affirmations. It can be intense.

4. Soul Retrieval - There are 2 books I know of by that name. This is something you can do yourself, to go back in time to the original trauma and re-program your mind in its response to that trauma.

5. The Inner Guide Meditation - This is a technique that I have used a number of times and never cease to be amazed at how quickly it gets results.

http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Guide-Medita...467&sr=1-1

6. Prayer. There's nothing wrong with reverting back to the good elements of the religion you left behind. You don't have to embrace the fear-based teachings, in order to benefit from that which is useful. You don't have to pray to Jesus. Pray to the One Infinite Creator...or ask your Higher Self, or our Confederation friends, for help! In whichever way feels comfortable. The important thing is the emotional component coupled with intention. Your intention directs the prayer, but your emotion charges it. I remember a passage from the Bible, "In the day you cry out with all your heart and soul, in that day I will deliver you." Cry out with all your heart and soul, and this WILL pass!

7. Ritual. Do the LBRP. Instructions in the Law of One. Do it daily, to clear the air of any little nasties hanging around tormenting you.

8. Cleanse your aura. This can be as simple as visualizing a fountain of light bubbling up from your feet and spraying out the top of your head. Or get some sage and burn it in your home. Or visualize a giant vaccum cleaner pulling out all the gunk from your aura, then replace that with a hose connected to the Sun, spraying golden light into your entire being. There are lots of techniques for cleansing the aura.

9. Send light to the person you're angry at. Or pray for them.

10. Intention, intention, intention. Keep affirming your intention to forgive and love, and you WILL find a way!

I'll let you know if I think of any more, but how's this for starters?

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]

(09-03-2010, 01:13 AM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: [ -> ]These people are all just mirroring to you your deepest fears.

** How does them being total @#$! towards me reveal my fears? What I mean is, how come they don't show a literal fear, but instead act like big butt-nuggets? How can I decipher what fears I need to handle if all I am being is a scum-sucking, mean-spirited, wicked behavior?

When we are bothered by the behaviors of others, we can be sure that there is a grain of that in ourselves. Maybe we were like that in a past life...or maybe we just have a trace of it in this life, but they are showing it to us in an amplified way. But even if the fault is 99.99% the other person, the solution is ALWAYS US.

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** This is something I REALLY struggle with. For instance, my mom has no problem telling me about scriptures, a book, a talk, or a miracle she's heard about. And she has no problem "bearing her testimony" to me. But when I've tried to share things with her, I literally had her hand in my face and she said, "Stop...I don't want to hear it." It seems that way with all my religious friends, too. They can praise Jesus or whatever, but I can't be who I really am. I can't support gay marriage, I can't play on Sunday, I can't NOT hate people who don't like the pledge of allegiance with "one nation under god" in it, etc. They want me to hate. I remember my hubby and I went to dinner with a bunch of people that he served a mormon mission with, and he had left the church by then. He had a small "soul patch" type of goatie, and his hair was slightly longer. He had on a hippie choker (and he looked smokin' hot, I might add...haha). The missionary friends were "aghast" at the change in him ....very shocked, and they said so. He's still the same man (only better...hehe) I want to be me without having people condemn me for it...especially when they think they can flaunt their 'true selves' in my face without so much as a wince from me.

I understand. In my own life, I am much more open than I used to be. (In fact, here I am moderating a public forum with my real name!!! Years ago, I would never have done that! I mean, what if someone I know saw it??)

It really depends on your circumstances. I could not afford to be open when my child was attending a Christian homeschool co-op, because too much was at stake. But now...I'm no longer in that situation, so why not?

I can see both sides of that debate. Really, you should be able to be yourself. You shouldn't have to hide who you really are. But there may be a price to pay, in dealing with people's reactions. And yet, if some people weren't courageous enough to come out of the closet, where would minority groups be now? It's tragic that some gays still cannot be honest about who they are...but if it hadn't been for the courageous gays, the courageous blacks, etc. then people would still be in hiding. In a sense, we are a minority, compared to the Christian population.

I think a lot of the reaction, though, is a mirror, based on our fears. For example, I breastfed my son in public quite frequently. NOT ONCE did anyone ever say anything to me about it! If they had, I would have fiercely told them, "That's what they're FOR! You'll see more at the pool."

My friends who breastfed their babies in public got hassled all the time. They were forever complaining about being hassled, and often chose to hide in the bathroom whenever the baby was hungry. Gross! I refused to feed my baby in the bathroom as though it were something dirty!

Why did they get hassled and I didn't?

I absolutely believe that it was because they were inhibited to begin with, while I wasn't. So they attracted that and I didn't.

Likewise, some years back, I attracted the fundamentalists who called me 'satanic' because of my bumperstickers or whatever. That hasn't happened in a very long time now. Why? Because time is too short to be intimidated by religious fundamentalists.

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** That means the world to me and more...I really do feel like this place and the people in it are "home and family". I feel so comfortable here. How could I forget?? After reading all of the responses that I got on my "crazy lunatic" post, I felt such intense peace and calm. I felt soooooooooo much better, which told me that I was hearing truth and it was what my spirit needed, because I felt it not only physically, but at a soul level.

Wonderful! We're here for you!

(09-02-2010, 11:44 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** wow! So true! Thank you for helping me to understand!! I almost feel like a puppet, and my ego is the "man with the hand up my back" - the ventriloquist. The ego is trying to make me believe that it is ME who's the total jerk and I....AM ... NOT!!! Now, some would say that this is just me trying to evade responsibility for my thoughts and actions...a 'devil made me do it' attitude. I honestly wouldn't know how to answer them if they threw this at me. Ideas?

If in the innocent nature of true self-discovery, you go digging deep inside and find that this cluster of negative thought activity is not really you, then how can it be said that you are trying to escape something? You're just discovering more of yourself. Someone can certainly hold the opinion that you're trying to blame your negative thought/attitude on your ego or some external influence. First of all, no opinion is absolute truth. But how can that one be true if you know your ego to be a part of yourself? How can the devil have made you do it if the devil was just a part of you gone rogue, so to speak? To simultaneously own up to and move beyond the issue is not the same as placing blame for it or trying to escape it. If someone is struggling to see that, that's catalyst for them!

(09-02-2010, 11:44 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]WHY is the ego such a creep? Why does it want so much pain? I just don't get it!!

Well, not every ego is a creep. It's like walking a dog. lol! Someone who has a very nasty, bitey, overgrown ego is like someone being pulled down the street by their wild, out of control, huge, viscious dog. There can be an imbalance the other way if your ego is a sniveling little wimpy dog that must be urged to walk every couple of steps. Becoming aware of and transmuting the ego is like bringing your dog to the perfect shape and speed for you! It is you after all! haha

That being said, the ego is capable of being a creep so that it will be creepy to those who need to use it as a stair step towards a higher state of being.

(09-02-2010, 11:44 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** I knew all along it was probably a catalyst - I just didn't know how to forgive her - and I still don't. Probably because it was so pre-meditated and carefully thought/planned out for the sole purpose of hurting me. How...how...how does one forgive? I want to...I just don't know how. I want to overcome this hatred - it is really getting to me. I can say, though, that it has lessened a bit now that the threat is over.

Let's approach this issue from the backdoor. How can you NOT forgive? Well, you can not forgive if you lend credibility to the illusion that we are all separate beings and that's all we are and ever will be. You can not forgive if you can't see any part of yourself/the Creator in the other. You can not forgive if you are holding onto your pain that the encounter brought about. You can not forgive if you're not willing to forgive both yourself and them. When I forgive someone, I realize that on a deep level, they in fact ARE me and I am them. And this learning to forgive them is part of getting to that realization of oneness. Forgive me (haha!) if this is too mystical sounding, but how can the earth hold a grudge against the river for cutting through its land? How can it be angry with the storm that frightens its animals or the fire that burns down its forests? These powers of destruction are forgiven before they even happen. All the destructive forces are contained within the earth and are a part of it, in fact, a necessary part! Which reminds me, if you need to burn off bodily stress, it's great to take an evening walk and just be with the earth, and feel its love and forgiveness for you, turning that gift of forgiveness towards the one who hurt you.

(09-02-2010, 11:44 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** but how...has anybody on here written a lesson manual?

How not to interact with the world through an ego... I don't know exactly how yet. None of us do! That's why we're all here experiencing third density. Haha! I would consider the Law of One material, of course, to be a very good how-to manual on it! Or at least a reference point... along with so much other channeled material and piles upon piles of new age literature, teachings, sayings, the list goes on...

(09-02-2010, 11:44 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** So are you saying that by me just having a good loving attitude and holding on to the light (as well as emanating it) - that love spreads forth and affects every other "person"? Therefore....serving them? And by the way, I totally agree that music can touch the soul!! And thank you for sharing that song...I'll go listen to it.

Of course! When you're emanating love, it's impossible for it not to affect others positively, even if there is no outer reaction.

"** What is Olio?"

Olio is the forum for misc. topics. You can get to it on the forums page.

(09-03-2010, 05:18 AM)Deekun Wrote: [ -> ]with your new creation you must visualize none of these people in your life. Allow those that need help to come to you and then slowly vanish to allow others that need help to come to you.

** I had to do this with my own father. He was draining me of my spirit - year after year after year - with his negativity and hateful attitude. He was emotionally abusive to the max, even though I served him very well. I finally had to tell him he couldn't be a part of my life anymore. It's strange not having a dad, but I feel SOOO much better. I really like the idea of not having certain people in my life anymore. I have gained a lot of wonderful friends (like here on this site for instance) that feel more like real family and my "real" family doesn't (some of them). I have learned through this experience that blood is NOT thicker than water.

(09-03-2010, 05:18 AM)Deekun Wrote: [ -> ]So, if you have all these things happening around you I would say you are doing things right to an extent.

** Yeaaahhh...some good news!
I thank you very much for your advice and help!

Hello, sister. You've shown great courage in laying your cards down for us to read. It speaks volumes, quite possibly far more than you give yourself credit for.

I'l try to keep this concise.

We choose how to react to each situation/catalyst that is presented to us. Sometimes our choices are reflective of previous experiences. This can, and usually does if the reaction was of the negative polarisation, manifest only more negative circumstances. Take each moment as it comes. Wash yourself of the past; it's not who you are.

What you choose now, and only now, is who you are.

If you choose to judge yourself and others, you will find it very hard to love, as energy is blocked in the lower rays (specifically orange and yellow).

Choose to see the true beauty of yourself and your spirit. Choose to see it in others; understand that however harsh their actions may appear, they are only acting in the way they think is best, based on their own life experience, patterns and notions.

Do this, and you'll continue to shine :¬)

Much love.
Namasté

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]** This is something I REALLY struggle with. For instance, my mom has no problem telling me about scriptures, a book, a talk, or a miracle she's heard about. And she has no problem "bearing her testimony" to me. But when I've tried to share things with her, I literally had her hand in my face and she said, "Stop...I don't want to hear it." It seems that way with all my religious friends, too. They can praise Jesus or whatever, but I can't be who I really am.

Wow, I totally relate! I've experienced this too.

They are afraid. Terrified, actually! They think that if you share your spiritual experience, and it doesn't involve Biblical terminology, or you don't "give the glory to Jesus" then it's "of the devil" ie "satanic."

My brother once told me a story about a man who got healed from some traveling healer, told his church elders about it, and they prayed over him and put him back the way he was - with his illness - because the healer was actually fake, and 'of the devil.'

The sad thing was my brother actually believes that stuff! When I asked him how love, happiness, healing, peace etc. could be from 'the devil' he gravely told me about how clever 'satan' is.

They are really terrified of being deceived, because they've been taught that New Age teachings and experiences are satanic facsimiles of the 'real thing.'

They mean well, but they are just so locked up in their fears that they truly do think that the sharing of your experiences is exposing them to something evil and dangerous.

I know, to us it's ridiculous, but to them, it's quite serious!

I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I don't. I mostly just try to radiate love and joy, and hope it rubs off on them. And, I do confess to being somewhat of an instigator at times. For example, I usually try to avoid getting into it with them, but if they insist, then I go ahead and tell them the truth: "I have a very strong personal faith in God. And I have utmost reverence for Jesus, who was one of the great masters, along with Buddha, Krishna, and others. But I cannot accept the Bible as 'the infallible word of God' because I don't believe God would have been so cruel as to command genocide.Nor do I believe God has a 'chosen' people or plays favorites. Would you have a favorite among your children? Would you punish your children forever just because they tried to connect with you in a different way? If you couldn't be that cruel, then how could God?"

This really does a number on their head. Essentially, what I'm saying is that I refuse to lower my standards, and I'd have to lower my standards to accept the old testament and many of the beliefs of Christianity. They fancy themselves as having the highest standards, so when someone tells them that Christianity is not up to their standards of peace/love/forgiveness, well, it sends them reeling, and they can't help but start thinking outside the box!

However, I am always careful to draw a distinction between the teachings of Jesus vs religious dogma. I make it clear that I don't think their religion is the religion Jesus would approve of at all. In other words, even though they consider themselves followers of Jesus, are they really following his teachings, or are they following the old testament, which is filled with judgment, wrath, violence and hatred? Would Jesus hate anyone? Would Jesus be violent? I ask them those questions.

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]I can't support gay marriage, I can't play on Sunday, I can't NOT hate people who don't like the pledge of allegiance with "one nation under god" in it, etc. They want me to hate.

What I do in those cases is stand firm, and point out that Jesus wouldn't approve of their hatred. Remind them of the Jesus quotes about turning the other cheek, judge not lest thou be judged, let he who is without sin cast the first stone, forgive seventy times seven, love your enemies, and all that cool stuff. Show them that hatred is anti-Jesus!

Here is a website that might help:

http://jesusisaliberal.com/

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]I remember my hubby and I went to dinner with a bunch of people that he served a mormon mission with, and he had left the church by then. He had a small "soul patch" type of goatie, and his hair was slightly longer. He had on a hippie choker (and he looked smokin' hot, I might add...haha). The missionary friends were "aghast" at the change in him ....very shocked, and they said so. He's still the same man (only better...hehe) I want to be me without having people condemn me for it...especially when they think they can flaunt their 'true selves' in my face without so much as a wince from me.

Remind them that Jesus had long hair and a beard. (supposedly) If they're shocked, laugh it off. I mean, seriously, how ridiculous is that anyway??? To be shocked about a bit of hair?? Don't play their game. Stand above it.

Some Jehovah Witnesses came by recently. I told them all the stuff I just said, but with a radiant smile. Then I gave them big sloppy hugs and they just about freaked out! They think they've got a monopoly on God and joy. I told them they didn't. And I showed them that they didn't.

(09-03-2010, 02:40 PM)kristy1111 Wrote: [ -> ]I think about this kind of thing quite often. For instance, I can be watching a darling little girl playing and saying something cute (and she was black)...so later I'd tell someone about it: "Oh, you should have seen the precious little BLACK girl I saw playing today...blah blah blah." Would I do that if the child was white? Would I say, "Oh you should have seen the darling little WHITE child I saw today..."? Nope...I wouldn't. It has really made me look deep inside at all the labels we give each other. Black, white, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, transsexual, republican, democrat, yuppie, hip-hopper, "star" (barf), etc. We're all people.

Whenever I need to describe someone to another person, I make a point to deliberately leave out their ethnicity. Then I have fun watching when they meet for the first time. Sometimes the white person will actually say, "You didn't tell me he was black!" to which I'll say, "Why should I mention that? Why would that matter?"

We have to draw the line on hate. Refuse to participate. When Obama got elected, I discovered, to my horror, that all my brothers are bigots. I had no idea! Our parents were prejudiced against rich people, but not against black people. So I was shocked when my brothers said ugly racist things about the new president. One of my brothers became obsessed with his ultra-conservative beliefs and told me how concerned he was about me, since I had the audacity to disagree with him. He got really ugly and hung up on me when I refused to agree with him about Obama.

I called him back and, wow, it felt like I was channeling! The words just flowed out...I told him I loved him but would not participate in racism. I asked him if his political beliefs were worth losing his sister over. I reminded him that Jesus taught love and peace...essentially I shamed him into realizing what he had been doing.

He softened and apologized.

Sometimes, just confronting the STS behavior they are engaging in, is the appropriate action. Not always. Sometimes it's better to just walk away. It depends on the situation. When in doubt, I ask for guidance...then go with what flows.

Wow, Kristy... what a pit of snakes you are in! So much great advice that all has the same message: LOVE.

LOVE is what will assist you in throwing off the Yoke of this negative experience of embarrassment, falsehood, anguish, anger, hatred, vile, malice etc. But all of those clever words amount to one root feeling:

FEAR:

False Evidence Appearing Real.

Monica's post sums up very nicely many Excellent techniques to set yourself free by assisting you in creating your own vortex of LOVE and Compassion. This Love and Compassion must first be acknowledged by you and for you and through you and around you. Then, with that charge of Love you can ignite the world around you with sparkles of LOVE and Light that will simply transform everything. This is an opportunity for you to further polarize yourself toward LOVE. This is an opportunity for you to stand tall as an Human Angel... This is an opportunity for you to Forgive yourself. Yes, Forgive yourself.

Ho'oponopono is an excellent technique to do this as Monica has previously stated in her beautiful post to you.

There is so much for you to digest on this thread. I know you will heal yourself and as you do ... share your story so others will benefit from your new found wisdom... and in doing so this will strengthen your own healing.

Love-
fairyfarmgirl

it feels like the place you are living is trying to throw you out. maybe you should move to live with people like you.

kristy1111 Wrote:I was her most recent victim. / What kind of person am I????? / I have become bitter, hateful (very hateful), and lately I even cuss like a sailor as I describe my feelings towards people. Maybe I really AM Jezebel - whoever that is. Maybe I really AM a demon. Maybe they're all right. I don't like who I seem to have become. / I know I need to blow it off and not take it personally. I know that I need to love unconditionally. I know that I need to SERVE. / I even disgust myself because I am so much a human myself. I am judging them for being judgmental - how pathetic.

It seems to me, based on these quotes, that you may be operating from a place of the victim-role (note the victim quote). In the victim role, things happen to you that are out of your control. You just can't see how things keep happening to you. If this applies to you, I suggest googling solutions to it, asking people here for help on it, seeing a therapist, talking to your hubby, etc.

It also seems that you have a bit of self-abuse going on (what kind of person am I?, I'm pathetic). It may feel justifiable, but self-abuse won't help you along your path to being a better person. What I suggest is monitoring your thoughts always and working to correct abusive patterns. Never put yourself down, and if/when you do, even if you think you're right, first stop. Then say good things about yourself to yourself, notice your good qualities, think about them often. Never tell yourself you can't do certain things for this or that reason or that because of what happened in the past the future has to be certain ways.

You don't need to do anything. Putting such constraints on yourself sounds like a heavy burden to bear. For myself, I attempt to love unconditionally and I attempt to deal with my problems. I've yet to achieve enlightenment. Needing to do something, especially a monumental task like emulating Christ/Buddha/Krishna - as what you're describing as your needs is something only Christ/Buddha/Krishna could do flawlessly - isn't the best way to go about doing that something, I feel. Instead, make them your long-term, short-term, and immediate goals. If/when you fail to love unconditionally, don't abuse yourself or feel down about it. Spend some time reflecting whenever you can on what you've noticed you could have done better, and see how you could have reacted in a way that's more in line with what you're trying to become.

Lastly, thoughts are creative. If all you care to see is the negative side of what's going on in your life, you will probably continue to see the negative side. As a good exercise for your mind, start consciously pointing out the good things in your life. This exercise should be done as much as possible - all day, every day. If not now, when?

Good luck