Bring4th

deleted

Why don't you start a gofundme? I'm sure people here will help.

Sup man you live in LA right? I live in san diego, i dont think thats very far but my life is kind of falling apart at this very second as well.. i have a place, until the 31st, might be able to offer you my couch until that point, but of course id like to get to know you a bit first before i let you into my personal space.. nott to mention my own life is 200% f***** atm

(03-21-2018, 08:24 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]I don't think I'll be able to make rent. Don't know what I'm going to do. If someone can help it'd be much appreciated. I could at least pay for my own transportation via bus or whatnot.

First of all, i would recommend leaving Cali. Sounds like a big move, but my God, the Cali govt is raping its citizens of its hard earned income. With all the money it makes, you would think that they are doing well, but like with any STS politician, they rarely are willing to give up any of their budget (Even when they dont need) - actually they have a use it or lose it policy so they use it regardless. Then on the flip side, when they need more money, they tax the hell out of you. Its like that for all governments, especially the wealthy ones and the ones that have been around for a while (Northeast, Cali, etc)

I live here in texas- rent is affordable and there are alot of opportunities. Last time i paid rent for a small apartment, it was about $600 a month. I'm sure its around $800 or so right now, but any person with a normal job can get by.

What do you do for a living? I could always help you get started if you're looking for a change of scenery.

deleted

deleted

(03-21-2018, 10:00 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]I've attempted currency trading (forex) the last few months. I managed to flip a $200 account into $4k but then blew it when my nerves got to me and I stopped following the strategy I had. Right now I'm doing nothing. If you'd like to talk this over some more I'm open to it.

Sorry for all the questions, but i'm going to ask you a bunch of questions.

How did you get into currency trading? What is your educational/experience background? What are your connections to California?

On another note, how did you get into the Ra material? In my experience, people create their own reality. I always find that i'm most successful and happiest when my intentions are pure and i have a positive mindset. I've always eventually gotten what i wanted, if my focus and will are strong enough.

deleted

You need to work through the trauma. Nothing else that you do will have the same amount of positive impact on your life as doing that. Contact me if you want further details.

(03-22-2018, 01:09 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]I dropped out of two prestigious colleges and the last one was in LA. I chose the second one largely so I could move there from the East Coast, where I was also unhappy, and spent a year in CA after until living costs became prohibitive.

The last time I dropped out was triggered by a breakdown I had when I discovered pizzagate was real. Some may not believe this, but I have had involvement with occult circles in the past, and I received direct verification of the theory's truth from the inside. I became disgusted with the media's coverup as a "right-wing conspiracy theory" and how quickly the general public bought it. I started ranting about the dark occult influence in this world, became paranoid and confrontational, and behaved extremely erratically, which scared people. The school's administration tried to institutionalize me multiple times, after lying to me and saying they'd leave me alone if I spoke with a therapist. This set me off further into a strange, paranoid state, until I ran off and didn't return.

After this, I began reading many esoteric texts and my previous semi-casual interest in the occult became much more serious, because I realized how deep the occult influence is in this world after discovering the reality of the "Illuminati." I discovered the Ra material while researching the overlap between extraterrestrials and the esoteric. It struck me as much more put together and authentic than many texts in this field, and I read it multiple times.

At the beginning of that phase, I came to the conclusion that the financial system is a form of magick. I had previous experience manifesting minor successes in other areas, and decided I would try to manifest large amounts of money to have a stable living, build positive social programs, and donate much to charity. It seemed to me that if much of the population is oppressed by hidden forces that manifest through these economic controls, I could learn to navigate this same system and utilize these tools for good. I had already wanted to make positive social changes, but I became disillusioned with politics and the social movements I was surrounded by. I was at a point where I believed that money controlled the world, and the biggest step towards change would be through redirecting the flow of money. After digesting the Ra material multiple times, I realized service doesn't have to be a big mission like this, though at this point I was already immersed in forex.

I chose forex because it has low barriers to entry and is faster paced than stocks, which meant that I could start with very little.  I finally found a very successful strategy after several months of major stress, where I was doubling my account every week, but I lost my nerve and stopped utilizing my strategy after a month of this, and blew up my account. There is a lot of past trauma in my life and I had been repressing it to perform at that level. At some point I also lost sight of my original intention, through all the pain I've experienced. I think I had a subconscious deathwish and sabotaged myself, and I now have next to nothing.

This is quite a bit, but I figured a lot of answers would be an appropriate response for a lot of questions.

Also thank you to the people who have donated so far.

Thanks for spilling your guts, it's very interesting, and to tell you the truth, i've learned much of what you said over the years, such as the "illumanati".

I know you've made a decision to go STS, but the first part of Service to Others is to help yourself, first. This means activating and balancing your energies.

Regarding Black/White Magic, the rule of thumb is, unless your heart chakra is open an almost fully active and balanced with the other centers, any type of magic is going to depolarize you, regardless of your intentions. My recommendation is to stay away from magic.

Regarding New World Order, Illumanatis, etc.. - who cares. Don't worry about that. This world is moving into 4th stage of evolution, and all negative entities will be moved elsewhere. The farsight.org has remote viewers peering into the "9/11 attacks", and found that much of it was staged by our own government. Its not your problem right now. Once you've rectified yourself, then you can move onto other things.

From a work perspective, i wouldnt get into anything that can be likened to gambling, unless you know how to handle it. When i say "Know how to handle it", this means not caring whether you win or lose.

I would look at your education and experience and look for a stable job. Like i said, the Dallas economy is booming right now. Rent is low and opportunities are high. I would look to stabilize your career. At the same time, you should try to balance yourself.

deleted

Another thing id like to add: dont let babylonian-money-magick dictate your life. Having to pay to exist is simply barbaric and im certain its simply a control mechanism that was invented by the Draco-Orion type entities to keep us "down" so to speak so that they may feed off of our spiritual energies.

You dont need money to survive or to be happy, in fact, its quite the opposite. There exists what is called "the law of the forest" and this is a universal law among st all Creations all planets and all densities. This law goes like this: The bear is hungry, the bear ventures into the forest and finds a bushel of berries, the bear then sits and consumes the entire bush. This is how things are and how they will always be. The planet is an abundant cornucopia or life-giving nutrients for you to gorge yourself on. Money, houses, cars, clothes.... This is all made up bullshit that does nothing but distract you from the true nature of the reality. That everything is "free". You dont need to pay to exist.

And so, there exists many methods to circumvent these negative systems. To name just a few: foraging for wild food, growing your own food (you dot even need property for this, just do it somewhere in a national park or something), dumpster diving!!!!! (did you know 60% of all the food you see in a grocery store goes into the trash before its rotten or moldy?), join an independent community (ic.org these are like communes, many dont require money and instead you just pitch in in the garden and in the kitchen in a beautiful communal type living situation).

I hope some of these ideas can help you. The rat-race is absolutely the opposite of spiritual development, nobody is forcing you to play, only yourself.

(03-22-2018, 04:42 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]I should have made it clear when I bumped my earlier thread that I don't even know what path I'm on anymore. I've been in a lot of pain for years and it's kept increasing to the current point.  I don't know what I'm doing now.

Just curious, have you done any drugs? I, personally, have been pretty balanced my entire life. One time, someone stole the rims off my car and my reaction was "I guess Karma's going to get whoever did this"... But this all ended when i became addicted pain killers. I want to get back to where i use to be, but its a difficult journey and am too in pain. I understand what i need to do, but haven't been able to.

Do you have any plans for what the future holds?

deleted

(03-22-2018, 07:52 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-22-2018, 07:41 PM)johncarson698 Wrote: [ -> ]

(03-22-2018, 04:42 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]I should have made it clear when I bumped my earlier thread that I don't even know what path I'm on anymore. I've been in a lot of pain for years and it's kept increasing to the current point.  I don't know what I'm doing now.

Just curious, have you done any drugs?  I, personally, have been pretty balanced my entire life.  One time, someone stole the rims off my car and my reaction was "I guess Karma's going to get whoever did this"... But this all ended when i became addicted pain killers.  I want to get back to where i use to be, but its a difficult journey and am too in pain.  I understand what i need to do, but haven't been able to.

Do you have any plans for what the future holds?

I took many drugs extensively in the past to self-medicate. The ones I haven't touched are crack, methamphetamine, PCP, and intravenous heroin. I have not done any substances since mid-2017 aside from marijuana, which I've barely touched. I have no desire to take anything whatsoever now.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I set up an appointment to get medication for my bipolar disorder next week. If not for familial obligations, I would kill myself immediately.

I think bipolar is caused by major imbalances in your lower 3 energy centers. 1 may be fully blocked while others are wide open. I'm not sure if medications are the answer, maybe temporarily. Some of the folks on here may know better. Its a good idea to research how to remedy it. Meditation and focus might be the key . The one thing i learned through my ordeal is that i never realized how good i felt until i felt so crappy all the time. I also did some things that really surprised myself in order to get pain killers. ive learned alot from my journey and in the process of making it back.

deleted

(03-26-2018, 08:28 PM)777 Wrote: [ -> ]I worked out a weekly payment scenario for my rent ($170), so with the help from this board I can afford a place to sleep for the time being. Thank you to everyone who donated.

Again, I am open to repaying all donors when I am back on my feet, if you wish to identify yourselves via PM.

hey man, if you need some food, i dont mind getting you a gift card to a nearby grocery store just as long as you dont blow it on booze . just PM me your email and a grocery store and ill see if i can send you an e-gift card

Y'all are truly awesome, helping this guy out. Sending him money, talking to him, and all these things you all did. Really really awesome!