My partner basically treats me like a dog and will not do ANYTHING for themselves. They expect me to do absolutely everything for them. Feed them, go to work with them, get them water at any given moment.... I feel abused. I know im being abused but i just wish to serve, not really expecting anything in return, but for them to develop and feel loved at the very least.
It's gotten to a point where im starting to stand up for myself "no you can do it this time". They dont like it when i ask them to do things for themselves but my intuition is screaming at me to make them do so. I feel like im enabling this toxic behavior.
They are sick, very much so. but they take no efforts to heal. Instead holding onto hatred in their heart. They care for nothing but themselves never taking time to rub my back or do anything for me. They have more money than me and make me feel worthless over it all the time. The small amount of money i do get all goes to them and my efforts are never appreciated.. i feel so unloved.
Sometimes ill snap and call them a bad name, they will hold this against me and use it to get their way further. I try to leave and they attempt suicide. It's also gotten to a point where my only friend is them and i never had any family to begin with.
I really dont know what to do.... they push me and push me into a corner, tell me im weak and worthless constantly, but i cannot leave. For if i leave then ill have to carry the burden of their death, ive already stopped like 5 suicide attempts.
hey sorry to hear that. want to chat? you can PM me if you like
What do you see as the spiritual challenges/lessons in play here?
(03-21-2018, 09:54 PM)peregrine Wrote: [ -> ]What do you see as the spiritual challenges/lessons in play here?
I feel like im their guide or something and they are soooooo far from the Source that they literally need someone to hold their hand 100% of the time.
They are supposed to be learning to love someone and actually follow through with it.
I'm supposed to learn utmost patience with these abusive sadistic actions that do nothing but fill me with dark energy, and constantly heal myself of it. While still attempting to heal them along the way.
I've done literally nothing but good things for them expecting nothing in return, but what i do get in return is hatred.
(03-21-2018, 10:01 PM)Xatu Wrote: [ -> ] (03-21-2018, 09:54 PM)peregrine Wrote: [ -> ]What do you see as the spiritual challenges/lessons in play here?
I feel like im their guide or something and they are soooooo far from the Source that they literally need someone to hold their hand 100% of the time.
They are supposed to be learning to love someone and actually follow through with it.
I'm supposed to learn utmost patience with these abusive sadistic actions that do nothing but fill me with dark energy, and constantly heal myself of it. While still attempting to heal them along the way.
I've done literally nothing but good things for them expecting nothing in return, but what i do get in return is hatred.
Hmmm. Well, to take that a step further, Q'uo has mentioned a few times that higher density beings sometimes weigh the whole of their vibration and find themselves more cogent in the Love department than in Wisdom department, and then choose situations in 3rd Density which will call them to look at an excessive surplus of love and consider whether or not this is the way to serve. Because in 3D this distortion can distress one to the core, it gives an opportunity to strengthen your Wisdom muscles which might help re-balance your entire soul stream. (By the way, they also speak of right use of power in the same way as Wisdom, Love balance/imbalance.
So, maybe it would be useful to look within yourself to see if you find your wholly self-giving m/o to be wise or not? Maybe you could look inward to see if the power and energy exchange pattern you are sharing is what you feel is truly good and proper?
For example, you might find that your participation in this set-up partly supports your own need for security. If you discover that and desire to change it, what would be a better use of power? How could you re-posture or modify your need to give in such a way as to create more balance (i.e., less strain) in your mind, body and spirit?
I hope this is helpful.
From what you've written in your post, and by the very title you gave this thread, you know damn well the relationship should be ended already. Balance your Love with Wisdom.
(03-21-2018, 11:47 PM)peregrine Wrote: [ -> ]Hmmm. Well, to take that a step further, Q'uo has mentioned a few times that higher density beings sometimes weigh the whole of their vibration and find themselves more cogent in the Love department than in Wisdom department, and then choose situations in 3rd Density which will call them to look at an excessive surplus of love and consider whether or not this is the way to serve. Because in 3D this distortion can distress one to the core, it gives an opportunity to strengthen your Wisdom muscles which might help re-balance your entire soul stream. (By the way, they also speak of right use of power in the same way as Wisdom, Love balance/imbalance.
So, maybe it would be useful to look within yourself to see if you find your wholly self-giving m/o to be wise or not? Maybe you could look inward to see if the power and energy exchange pattern you are sharing is what you feel is truly good and proper?
For example, you might find that your participation in this set-up partly supports your own need for security. If you discover that and desire to change it, what would be a better use of power? How could you re-posture or modify your need to give in such a way as to create more balance (i.e., less strain) in your mind, body and spirit?
I hope this is helpful.
I feel that, in this dark world, those who seek only to help and serve tend to be treated as doormats. It
feels entirely improper but i have encountered noting but this.
My family situation seems to mirror this greatly. Having been ostracized because of my polarity. Even from a very young age (mother incapable of loving me).
This lapse in love has led me to seek it to the utmost degree wanting nothing more than to help others.
I just find it hard to distinguish the polarization for these "students" shall we call them, from either positive or negative. In turn, the negative/STS adept can fully utilize the services provided by the STO oriented individual, in a selfish manner.
I find in my heart that this is happening in my current situation and it couldnt feel more wrong or incorrect to me. I feel like im trying desperately to convert someone to a different polarity who very well may have chosen a path opposite to mine currently. Yet i still pour my love into this individual, in return, they continue to abuse me and make very little efforts to change.
Leaving this person is not an option, given their instability, and im very certain id feel empty or without purpose if i wasnt to have a "project" of sorts to be channeling my love into. Not to mention the immense guilt id feel if they committed suicide as they often threaten.
As for reducing the strain this is having on me, yes it is immense, i have recently turned to self-medicating with hard drugs and its scary. However i dont see the drugs "possessing" me as they do others, rather, they give me a temporary release and relief, perhaps hearkening back to what it may abiently feel like on a more dense planet. Not really abusing them just using as medication in small doses really.
And having wrote this all just now I begin is see the paradoxical nature of why i even made this thread.. I knew that creating the thread will not reveal anything that could not be seeked or gained or known prior. Theres absolutely no hope of me leaving this situation at this point and i knew this already. I guess i just wished for support in knowing, perhaps, that situations like this can be common.
When i research higher realms all i can think of is how deeply i want to show this to my partner, to let them see a better and more free reality and ultimately grow spiritually. Even is they are STs polarized (not 95% probably) i think their higher self is guiding them towards the STO path but perhaps in a way that is very slow. Like multiple lifetimes or another cycle slow.... the question then remains... do i continue to follow and seek to help this individual polarize? Is it selfish for me to leave? Or maybe in my STO to them, im helping them polarize to STS?
Thank you for your responses.
(03-22-2018, 01:24 AM)Xatu Wrote: [ -> ]I feel that, in this dark world, those who seek only to help and serve tend to be treated as doormats. It feels entirely improper but i have encountered noting but this.
My family situation seems to mirror this greatly. Having been ostracized because of my polarity. Even from a very young age (mother incapable of loving me).
This lapse in love has led me to seek it to the utmost degree wanting nothing more than to help others.
I just find it hard to distinguish the polarization for these "students" shall we call them, from either positive or negative. In turn, the negative/STS adept can fully utilize the services provided by the STO oriented individual, in a selfish manner.
I find in my heart that this is happening in my current situation and it couldnt feel more wrong or incorrect to me. I feel like im trying desperately to convert someone to a different polarity who very well may have chosen a path opposite to mine currently. Yet i still pour my love into this individual, in return, they continue to abuse me and make very little efforts to change.
Leaving this person is not an option, given their instability, and im very certain id feel empty or without purpose if i wasnt to have a "project" of sorts to be channeling my love into. Not to mention the immense guilt id feel if they committed suicide as they often threaten.
As for reducing the strain this is having on me, yes it is immense, i have recently turned to self-medicating with hard drugs and its scary. However i dont see the drugs "possessing" me as they do others, rather, they give me a temporary release and relief, perhaps hearkening back to what it may abiently feel like on a more dense planet. Not really abusing them just using as medication in small doses really.
And having wrote this all just now I begin is see the paradoxical nature of why i even made this thread.. I knew that creating the thread will not reveal anything that could not be seeked or gained or known prior. Theres absolutely no hope of me leaving this situation at this point and i knew this already. I guess i just wished for support in knowing, perhaps, that situations like this can be common.
When i research higher realms all i can think of is how deeply i want to show this to my partner, to let them see a better and more free reality and ultimately grow spiritually. Even is they are STO polarized (not 95% probably) i think their higher self is guiding them towards the STS path but perhaps in a way that is very slow. Like multiple lifetimes or another cycle slow.... the question then remains... do i continue to follow and seek to help this individual polarize? Is it selfish for me to leave? Or maybe in my STO to them, im helping them polarize to STS?
Thank you for your responses.
If you honestly don't think you can leave then I would use this as a learning experience for yourself and your partner. I would research depression, codependency and personality disorders. Then I would examine both of your histories to study how certain circumstances and traumas have resulted in your current dynamic and personal biases.
You may discover that you have the strength to leave at a later date.
Just continuing to do as you are doing would be enabling your partner at this point. I don't see that as a wise service. However providing motivation for self knowledge is always a beneficial service in my book.
Self medicating with drugs is a slippery slope. No one starts off thinking they will end up losing control. You're right to be worried, I would stop it immediately. Focus on diet and exercise for stress relief (I know easier said then done)
(03-22-2018, 01:24 AM)Xatu Wrote: [ -> ]Theres absolutely no hope of me leaving this situation at this point and i knew this already.
From the perspective of doing spiritual work, alternative to playing to your weakness (wisdom), you could play to your strength (acceptance). In my view, while the physical and emotional outcomes will be unfortunate, the spiritual outcome could be quite positive if, in your deepest self, you could clearly view your partner's selfishness, your own selfishness, emotional degradation, your mental torture and the likely physical harm--along with the positive aspects of your bonding--and, in your heart of hearts, bless it, accept it and hold it in love, your transition into the afterlife may feel empowering and affirming.
On the other hand, this will be quite challenging due to the voices inside you telling you that the situation is wrong (when you're not medicating them to be still). I can fully relate to such a condition: that of indicators telling me to change course while other parts of me are steadfastly determined not to change. Simply put, it's crazy-making.
Lastly, the deepest thing I have gained from a very cursory interest in astrology is the confirmation that things do actually change, even when it feels like they never will. This, too, will pass. If you survive it on this planet or elsewhere, you will eventually move from this to other patterns of energy exchange and expenditure.
Sometimes walking away from someone is the best thing you can do for them. It doesn't have to be forever. Maybe not my place to call it, but I feel this partner of yours is bluffing about suicide. The threat of self-destruction is an incredibly powerful tool in manipulating the overly compassionate, and I think they know that. It would be my guess that, if your were to leave them, and tell them you don't care if they live or die, they will, ironically, live. Best case scenario? Your leaving is such a shock to their senses that they actually undergo a spiritual revolution and become a better person, at which point you can return to their side and have a healthy and genuine relationship.
It is good to support people in need, but they must be reminded occasionally that service is conditional. It takes two to make a relationship.
Worse case scenario? Nothing is truly lost in this infinite and unchanging creation.
Of course, only you can determine what's at the heart of your experience and determine which direction will take you on your desired path. However, I may be able to offer you another perspective that could help. I struggled with this same dilemma while dating someone that sounds very similar.
*Edited to say that I'll finish writing my response shortly. Got pulled away from the computer for a bit!
*Ok...I'm back to finish my response!
Basically what I wanted to share was that sometimes we serve others best by removing ourselves from their lives and, therefore, offering them new opportunities for introspection and growth that our compliant companionship wasn't offering. It's so easy to fall into the role of martyr when we attempt to love and support someone unconditionally. In my experience, I knew it was time to step away when I realized I was allowing myself to become severely imbalanced in my attempts to aid this individual.
Again, this is just my experience, and I cannot say for sure whether or not this person benefited from my leaving. However, I can say that, without a doubt, it allowed my well-being and spiritual evolution to flourish.
First of all, Peregrine, bravo. You are on point!
Xatu, feeling trapped is often, in my experience, borne of the desire to escape circumstances that teach. What is trapping is not the circumstances but instead our thinking about those circumstances, especially what we are willing to accept and what we refuse to accept. If you refuse to accept your partner as he or she is, then of course this lack of acceptance will manifest itself as a problem for your to fix rather than a lesson to learn.
There's a balance, of course, because lessons are ideally not supposed to last indefinitely. I can't imagine why leaving this person is such a non-starter, but I'll accept that for you it is not an option you can accept. Just realize, then, that learning patience is tough and it's not supposed to feel "good". It's more about finding balance between your own needs and that of the other.
Here's a good exercise: imagine yourself in your partner's shoes. Try to mentally be in the place he or she is. How do you feel? What are your priorities, your desires? What would you need to hear or see or experience that maybe wouldn't correct the situation perfectly but would at least allow for better communication?
This kind of exercise can help you with the feeling of being trapped because you can play as the other character, starting to see a broader perspective than merely your own. And ultimately if we are STO, we are STO (IMHO) as a function of our ability to transcend individual identity, to put on a wider identity that sees others as selves to be served, others as an expanded version of ourselves. Such folks as your partner can be transformed from liabilities into opportunities merely by changing how you think about yourself, the otherself, and the situation.
I say these things always worried that I'm coming off too flippantly. These are not easy things to do, and I have a doctorate in avoidance so I know what it is I'm asking.
Thank you all for your amazing responses. Venting these issues has served as an amazing catalyst and i spoke with my partner on all of these issues in depth yesterday.
I think they are truly on the path of positive growth, at whatever pace is does not matter.
I ultimately came here to help and putting myself into their shoes (schizophrenic, much childhood trauma) I can very much empathize with them and i think thats why im here.
I like to think of myself as a very patient person, I forgive amazingly easy and put up with all sorts of things (of course i too have a breaking point). They truly need me in their life because many people of perhaps higher self-serving orentation would sense these issues or stress or many other factors and simply run away.
Ultimately I stay because i want to stay. Upon the consideration of leaving i see nothing beneficial coming out of it. I love seeing them grow, i love helping them. That is enough as a reward. Without them there, as something to grow with and work on ourselves together, life would seem much more dull.
Another factor is that several months ago, we decided to have a child together. And im very certain that this child will bring nothing but light into our hearts, in turn healing my partner in perhaps ways i could not, or perhaps in ways they could not on their own.
My partner is very much appreciative of my help, i suppose i just seeked more affirmations of this or perhaps the slow growth tricked me into thinking there was no progress being made. But this individual, already, has metamorphosed and in turn, has helped me to do the same.
I dont truly think they are a STS individual, and i think this was a misinterpretation no my part as i study more and more into the material.
We are all a certain percentage of both. I think i was just focusing on some of the more unsavory aspects and putting myself in the high seat. I'm not perfect, of course not. Nobody is perfect. If it werent for these imperfections we would have nothing to work towards and nothing to achieve.
I greatly appreciative the love and light you all have provided to me in this thread, it helped me to gather the courage to say something in such a way that it struck home. I think another lesson of mine to learn here is to speak up for myself. I very much suck at speaking up for myself and my partner frequently serves as the perfect catalyst to invoke this action in me.
Thanks, once again for all the comments. I am truly blessed.
It's wonderful to hear you say that Xatu.
Children are precious and wonderful.
Dolores Cannon though did say that children create karma.
I love it when two people can stay together and raise a child, both putting forth the effort.
I have my breaking point too, but I've only snapped like twice in my life.
I have schizophrenia too, though it's controlled by meds. I also have bipolar. Medication helps me.
Sometimes we see something unfavorable in another person because that is something unresolved within ourselves.
People are great mirrors into who we are.
(03-22-2018, 05:10 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: [ -> ]It's wonderful to hear you say that Xatu.
Children are precious and wonderful.
Dolores Cannon though did say that children create karma.
I love it when two people can stay together and raise a child, both putting forth the effort.
I have my breaking point too, but I've only snapped like twice in my life.
I have schizophrenia too, though it's controlled by meds. I also have bipolar. Medication helps me.
Sometimes we see something unfavorable in another person because that is something unresolved within ourselves.
People are great mirrors into who we are.
Hi indigo, ive seen your posts alot here and they are all very enlightening and positive and i feel really happy to actually talk to you a bit.
I find it interesting that you mentioned dolores cannon because my professional path at the moment is of past life regression hypnosis, and in learning more about hypnosis and from sessions, it led me back to this LOO material because of its amazing amounts of congruence to this material.
Id say i am most certainly projecting my own unfavorable attributes through my partner in deciding whats unfavorable about the dynamic. I have my own schizoid tendencies and extreme mood swings as well. While i remain undiagnosed in any form; my partner is diagnosed with schizoid tendencies, bipolar, and autism. I'm pretty certain i have all those same afflictions, and perhaps some others (i have a really hard time feeling any sort of emotions, good bad happy sad, I feel them on an energetic level, but can not emote in the face, cry, etc). And we of course, deal with the issues in different ways.
I have long been opposed to medications but through my self-medicating use of stimulants I actually see myself making some progress through some of these things holding me back. Like i said before i absolutely suck at speaking up for myself but the drugs have helped me to say things i normally would not have the power to do so. Im not really even using the drugs to get intoxicated or whatever, but i guess just to feel more balanced. Of course, the stigma from the government can sometimes get to me and I feel like "oh f*** im using drugs!". But if ive learned anything ive learned that theres two sides to everything and in one scenario where these drugs ruin lives there are other scenarios where they empower them.
Thanks for talking to me indigo, I feel a great weight lifted getting to actully talk about some of this stuff and having it apply on a spiritual level is just a bonus, haha.
Blessed Be :)
I'm familiar with illegal drugs like DMT. That opened me up too much and I believe caused my condition.
That's neat about hypnosis. I was a certified hypnotist a number of years ago, but just didn't practice it or keep up with the certification.
I mainly used it for self-hypnosis. I use it to talk to my spirit guide at times.
I have a recorded induction I can share about meeting your guide if you want it from the lady who hypnotized me and taught me.
I recorded my voice asking questions and the answers.
Though it's different from what Dolores Cannon does. My mom is a QHHT practitioner. But she hasn't charged yet. She's worked with a few people.
Yeah, sometimes I feel emotions all too much. I can become hyper-sensitive to emotion. That's probably why there's something in my heart chakra that keeps me from being overwhelmed.
It sort of restricts the flow because it's so easy for me to break down in tears when it gets too much. There's a such thing for me as something being too adorable.
Lately I just feel the energy, and can't really get away from it. The Risperidone helps keep too much Light from coming into my head. That makes things hurt.
Yeah, I've had some lovely past lives, though I can't remember much of them.
Sometimes we experience something we love, that brings bliss or joy, and it's a habit to chase that feeling again. But it's important to move forward and not try going for a past feeling.
The Universe gives us exactly what we need and when we need it.
(03-22-2018, 01:24 AM)Xatu Wrote: [ -> ]I find in my heart that this is happening in my current situation and it couldnt feel more wrong or incorrect to me. I feel like im trying desperately to convert someone to a different polarity who very well may have chosen a path opposite to mine currently. Yet i still pour my love into this individual, in return, they continue to abuse me and make very little efforts to change.
Leaving this person is not an option, given their instability, and im very certain id feel empty or without purpose if i wasnt to have a "project" of sorts to be channeling my love into. Not to mention the immense guilt id feel if they committed suicide as they often threaten.
Xatu, this may be hard for you to hear, but it seems to me that you are enabling this individual's bad behavior. If you are not familiar with the term, it refers to behavior that appears on the surface to be kind and supportive, but in actuality keeps the other person in a state where they are continuing to harm themselves and/or others.
The prototypical example is a parent whose adult child is addicted to drugs, and the parent expresses his or her love for the child by continuing to provide a place to live, money, or other support which prevents the child from experiencing the destructive consequences of their actions. This pattern of behavior represents love completely unbalanced by wisdom, and produces grievous destructive consequences for both people: the parent is sucked dry emotionally and financially, while the child continues to implode, unchecked.
So please be clear that by providing a willing punching bag for this person's malevolent tendencies, you are serving neither of your best interests.
The other thing I want to say is this. No one is responsible for another person's actions. If he/she chooses to commit suicide, that is their choice and their free will guarantees their right to do so, and to experience the consequences of those choices. Your guilt in that case is equally inappropriate and unnecessary.
With that said, my heart goes out to you and the grief and suffering which you are experiencing. I hope you will find the light within yourself and for yourself, and allow other free agents on this planet to make their own choices as they will.
With much love,
Stranger.
We don't often get feedback, Xatu, to the effect of "what these random dudes on the internet abstractly suggested to me worked!" Thanks for sharing, and congratulations. I know this doesn't make everything "ok" but in my opinion I think a lot of what our task here is about is being able to endure the tentativeness and ambiguity of where we stand relative to each other while still being centered. So it doesn't have to be all ok; it just has to be loved to greater and greater degrees of purity.
Leave. Then you will develop spiritually. Forget spirituality right now
If you’re feeling trapped, then this may be a karmic relationship from past lives with your partner.
I found a talk / video by Scott Mandelker that may be of some aid to you, if you determine that to be the case: “Choice and Karmic Necessity”
https://youtu.be/8lY-oLBzMMw
It’s easier to say to leave than to actually do it. It’s a lot harder than saying it or thinking it.
If you need further guidance on the issue, I would suggest consulting the I-Ching. It’s an ancient Chinese divination system, that in my eyes, is in high rapport with the spiritual realms. It’s fascinating: the responses one will get.
I wish you Love and Light. Feel free to talk to B4 about anything. We are more than happy to talk and listen.
(03-24-2018, 08:59 AM)Nau7ik Wrote: [ -> ]If you’re feeling trapped, then this may be a karmic relationship from past lives with your partner.
I found a talk / video by Scott Mandelker that may be of some aid to you, if you determine that to be the case: “Choice and Karmic Necessity” https://youtu.be/8lY-oLBzMMw
It’s easier to say to leave than to actually do it. It’s a lot harder than saying it or thinking it.
If you need further guidance on the issue, I would suggest consulting the I-Ching. It’s an ancient Chinese divination system, that in my eyes, is in high rapport with the spiritual realms. It’s fascinating: the responses one will get.
I wish you Love and Light. Feel free to talk to B4 about anything. We are more than happy to talk and listen.
Is I-Ching better than Tarot, and easier to use and interpret? What about runes?
I would love a way to see where my path is headed should I continue it.
I found an android app for i-ching when I searched.
It was very helpful, and right on the money for the situations I described to it.
Thank you guys for all your loving responses. I can certainly say that having the courage to try to talk about some of these things that were bothering me has helped me immensely, and things are feeling very good right now for me for the first time in a long time, and i certainly can trace it to these channelings, and in turn this community, that was so kind to offer me its guidance. Thanks so much for all that was said.
Blessed Be
(03-27-2018, 05:59 PM)Xatu Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you guys for all your loving responses. I can certainly say that having the courage to try to talk about some of these things that were bothering me has helped me immensely, and things are feeling very good right now for me for the first time in a long time, and i certainly can trace it to these channelings, and in turn this community, that was so kind to offer me its guidance. Thanks so much for all that was said.
Blessed Be
If you ever read some of Dr Michael Newton's works, he has many case studies of incompatible couples living out lives due to their karmic past.
I think another poster hit the nail on the head. The lessons are not all about love. Many of the lessons are about wisdom vs love - love over wisdom or wisdom over love. If you think about it, staying with this person is a disservice to both you and your partner. Maybe the lesson is not for you - its for your partner. You leaving provides the catalyst for your partner to grow.
If you know in your heart that your partner won't change, then its your obligation to provide him/her the catalyst he/she deserves. (I know you're a guy, but im not sure if you're gay or not
sorry)
(03-21-2018, 09:30 PM)Xatu Wrote: [ -> ]My partner basically treats me like a dog and will not do ANYTHING for themselves. They expect me to do absolutely everything for them. Feed them, go to work with them, get them water at any given moment.... I feel abused. I know im being abused but i just wish to serve, not really expecting anything in return, but for them to develop and feel loved at the very least.
It's gotten to a point where im starting to stand up for myself "no you can do it this time". They dont like it when i ask them to do things for themselves but my intuition is screaming at me to make them do so. I feel like im enabling this toxic behavior.
They are sick, very much so. but they take no efforts to heal. Instead holding onto hatred in their heart. They care for nothing but themselves never taking time to rub my back or do anything for me. They have more money than me and make me feel worthless over it all the time. The small amount of money i do get all goes to them and my efforts are never appreciated.. i feel so unloved.
Sometimes ill snap and call them a bad name, they will hold this against me and use it to get their way further. I try to leave and they attempt suicide. It's also gotten to a point where my only friend is them and i never had any family to begin with.
I really dont know what to do.... they push me and push me into a corner, tell me im weak and worthless constantly, but i cannot leave. For if i leave then ill have to carry the burden of their death, ive already stopped like 5 suicide attempts.
You seem to have a person with borderline personality disorder in your hands, or some other serious personality disorder.
Taking up reading about these disorders may show you some pointers.
I feel led to say a few things to you here. It seems to me that you are unsure if your partner is on the sts path. Remember that those who are DO NOT have the green energy center activated at all. They do indeed know that and they are truly masters at manipulating you into believing they know love. They learn the way you love and mirror it back to you. It will be a whirlwind that sweeps you off your feet very quickly. Their game is control. Cluster b personality disorders are where to begin looking into those games. Some are so talented that you will really not be able to suspect it with out becoming informed first. When you think about a person quite literally without and activated love center that group is cluster b personality disorders. Not all of them though. I dont believe borderline are sts unless they have profound comorbid (shared) disorders. Certainly also the degree of skill in execution is important too and the advanced being completely heartless.
There is a doctor on YouTube named Dr.Grande who talked about the different personality ways of thinking that Everyone needs to hear. I'll put in the link to a good one. It is spot on and truly fascinating the sutlle differences that can be seen in them all. Like for example ... let's say you are at work and you have made a big mistake and are hoping you dont get in trouble for it but others know about it.. psychopaths around you could care less as long as they are not hurt by ur mistake Narcissists want to know what's in it for them to keep your mistake quiet and will likely exploit it later to make themselves look better by showing ur incompetence. Those who are ocd, have already told the boss because you should have followed the rules so next time you do follow them. These slight differences in the way they think is incredibly interesting. Please note that OCD is not cluster b and used to highlight differences only.
This issue is not only a serious issue in your life for your own balance but also you may be interfering in her path graduation or non graduation, not to mention your own. Furthermore ...if you are within a relationship with a true sts , you could be and are in danger and that is utter truth. Negativity is a gravity well sucking you in. Drugs now becoming your goto coping mechanism...understandably. lol. No judgement coming from me. I get it.
Imagine what a person holding no love in heart can do to a child while raising it. We are here to help and perhaps this woman by hAving a baby may become the grinch and cindy loohoo. It's not our place to judge people or their path. I get that. You love her and we do too. We love you too. In a relationship as integral as to be a lover or child ...we must know enough to protect ourselves and loving them and ourselves demands it. When you tell someone they are hurting you... if they are not actively trying to not hurt you like that again ... they dont either love you or care about you enough to help you. Does that sound like a relationship you want in your inner circle???
Educate yourself in cluster b personas. Are you feeling love? Does she show others love? Empathy? Compassion? Is the sex giving? Deep?the answers will help too. I miss mine too... it was not real though. He is pinnochio not yet a real boy. I loved him though. This is hard. Wisdom and balance will remain but absolutely only through intense fire. OUCH
What if the person is 51% STS and 49% STO?
Can one have a good relationship with such a person?
I feel immense love for a 5th density being, and get the feeling that I saved him from a nightmare world.
I opened to Intelligent Infinity, so I have so much to give to him.
Our relationship is extremely pleasurable. I slowly feel him healing.
He has helped me immensely in raising my vibration and density of my field.
i agree with what the others here are saying. the best thing you can do is to just walk away. sometimes no matter how hard you try you just cant help a person without dooming yourself in the process. live and let live i guess.