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Hey, I've a feeling/thought circling around me. I would appreciate your opinions regarding this.

So, I've been wondering. Is it possible that when I experience joy, bliss, fun, amusement, an other self suffers at my expense? (Does that make any sense?)

I'm feeling really lost, and can't get myself to balance, or be my true self.

It really feels like unworthiness, to be living here right now as me with others in this place and time.

There's so much beauty, inside and outside, and my fears and worries are pulling me down.

All that I know, is that I do not wish to make others suffer if I have a choice/possibility to ease/help in that.

So there's this huge "hole" in my heart, and I kind of came to accept that I deserve to be in pain.

Every so often when I'd feel good, I would depress/judge/block that emotion/experience, in fear of hurting another.

Thoughts?


Thank you.
Sprout, have you heard that song Hole Hearted by Extreme?




I think whatever vibration we put out we tend to attract.

I think by feeling good we are following our bliss. I think Joseph Campbell said to follow your bliss.

If we feel good, we radiate that outwards and attract more of that to ourselves.

If someone is out of sync with that, the vibration might not even be noticed.

For others, it can help raise others vibration.

I think unworthiness is an indigo-ray issue.
I think anothers path is anothers path, just be kind and let as much love shine thru as you can.
I don't think you are wrong in your assessment, but perhaps are misguided in how you feel about the dynamic. You are not separate from this potential other-self and what makes this so is that you both share a common will to realize what you are, that is, Infinity. Both selves are your experience, much like two separate moments of what you are.

This is somewhat the entire context of the Earth. Bliss, joy and harmony are well known to us as an experience and this creates a need for diversity, this need being rooted in what each thing is. Because of this, sub-Logos work to answer this need and create diversity of experience. Hence it is as not as direct as I believe your post made it sound, but that in our grand seeking there is a balance of Unity which is well.

Your honor/duty as an individualization is to explore your strand of will in growth, to realize the whole as the whole made self. I think you are touching the realization of your infinite nature and while this can make one feel blocked, there is always a beyond blocked. If you don't blame all that has been joyous when you are not, then you should not blame yourself to be joyous because others are not. You are others' equal, nothing less.



I thought to add.

What you are saying is a lot like if applied to the planet, the Earth would deny itself its ascension into 4D and remain locked in 3D, because were it to move forward it'd signify the need of a new 3D experience in a new world. Both 3D and 4D are infinite principles that are not the property of any world, much like how both sorrow and joy are not the property of any being but an experience that can be had. You can only experience things to the extent you need to experience them, and it is inevitable to come to move forward.
Sprout, I feel like I really relate.

I feel so unworthy it offends my closest friends sometimes.

I feel guilty sometimes just for living on Earth and stirring the pot a little.

I hope we both find balance.

I've started seeking to unblock myself as well.
(05-04-2018, 08:04 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: [ -> ]Sprout, have you heard that song Hole Hearted by Extreme?




I think whatever vibration we put out we tend to attract.

I think by feeling good we are following our bliss. I think Joseph Campbell said to follow your bliss.

If we feel good, we radiate that outwards and attract more of that to ourselves.

If someone is out of sync with that, the vibration might not even be noticed.

For others, it can help raise others vibration.

I think unworthiness is an indigo-ray issue.

Hi, no I haven't heard this song before. But I listened to it and I liked it.

That's an interesting thought, it sounds like what that "Law of attraction" thing suggests.

Why do you think it's indigo related? I felt like it was orange-ish or something.


(05-04-2018, 08:52 PM)hounsic Wrote: [ -> ]I think anothers path is anothers path, just be kind and let as much love shine thru as you can.

I feel like you are right.


(05-05-2018, 01:52 AM)Desynched Wrote: [ -> ]Sprout, I feel like I really relate.

I feel so unworthy it offends my closest friends sometimes.

I feel guilty sometimes just for living on Earth and stirring the pot a little.

I hope we both find balance.

I've started seeking to unblock myself as well.

Thanks for sharing your guts Desynched, it really eases itself to some degree to know that you are not alone with these kind of thoughts/feelings.


And thanks again everyone for your time and attention.
(05-05-2018, 03:42 AM)Sprout Wrote: [ -> ]Why do you think it's indigo related? I felt like it was orange-ish or something.

15.12 Questioner: How does an individual go about balancing himself? What is the first step?


Ra:
I am Ra. The steps are only one; that is, an understanding of the energy centers which make up the mind/body/spirit complex. This understanding may be briefly summarized as follows. The first balancing is of the Malkuth, or Earth, vibratory energy complex, called the red-ray complex. An understanding and acceptance of this energy is fundamental. The next energy complex, which may be blocked is the emotional, or personal complex, also known as the orange-ray complex. This blockage will often demonstrate itself as personal eccentricities or distortions with regard to self-conscious understanding or acceptance of self.

The third blockage resembles most closely that which you have called ego. It is the yellow-ray or solar plexus center. Blockages in this center will often manifest as distortions towards power manipulation and other social behaviors concerning those close and those associated with the mind/body/spirit complex. Those with blockages in these first three energy centers, or nexi, will have continuing difficulties in ability to further their seeking of the Law of One.

The center of heart, or green ray, is the center from which third-density beings may springboard, shall we say, towards infinite intelligence. Blockages in this area may manifest as difficulties in expressing what you may call universal love or compassion.

The blue-ray center of energy streaming is the center which, for the first time, is outgoing as well as inpouring. Those blocked in this area may have difficulty in grasping the spirit/mind complexes of its own entity and further difficulty in expressing such understandings of self. Entities blocked in this area may have difficulties in accepting communication from other mind/body/spirit complexes.

The next center is the pineal or indigo-ray center. Those blocked in this center may experience a lessening of the influx of intelligent energy due to manifestations which appear as unworthiness. This is that of which you spoke. As you can see, this is but one of many distortions due to the several points of energy influx into the mind/body/spirit complex. The indigo-ray balancing is quite central to the type of work which revolves about the spirit complex, which has its influx then into the transformation or transmutation of third density to fourth density, it being the energy center receiving the least distorted outpourings of love/light from intelligent energy and having also the potential for the key to the gateway of intelligent infinity.

The remaining center of energy influx is simply the total expression of the entity’s vibratory complex of mind, body, and spirit. It is as it will be, “balanced” or “imbalanced” has no meaning at this energy level, for it gives and takes in its own balance. Whatever the distortion may be, it cannot be manipulated as can the others and, therefore, has no particular importance in viewing the balancing of an entity.
What exactly are you afraid of when it comes to feeling joy? Why would another have to suffer or be in pain? Inevitably people are going to be in pain and suffering. We can set our intentions and be mindful of not harming others.

Your fears and thoughts of “I deserve to not be happy” are what is keeping you down, as you have discerned. Surely we deserve (I don’t like using that word but technically it’s appropriate) the pain and suffering that comes to us. We also deserve the joy and happiness that comes to us. Sit with your fears, examine them, experience them mentally.

I don’t know your heart or mind so I can’t speak specifically to your blockage, but I can say that you don’t have to block yourself from moments of joy and happiness. Allow yourself to express your heart freely and openly! Go a little at a time if that’s what feels safest to you. You may discover that there is another way.

This is the stuff of life! It’s why we incarnated. You are a beautiful soul. Rejoice and be happy my friend! You deserve happiness and joy and Love and Light.
(05-04-2018, 07:41 PM)Sprout Wrote: [ -> ]Hey, I've a feeling/thought circling around me. I would appreciate your opinions regarding this.

So, I've been wondering. Is it possible that when I experience joy, bliss, fun, amusement, an other self suffers at my expense?

No, it is not possible. Happiness is not a zero-sum game.

On the contrary: when you experience joy/bliss/fun, you are transforming God's raw energy into positive emotions, which lighten and uplift the planet and those around you.


(05-04-2018, 07:41 PM)Sprout Wrote: [ -> ]I'm feeling really lost, and can't get myself to balance, or be my true self.

It really feels like unworthiness, to be living here right now as me with others in this place and time.

There's so much beauty, inside and outside, and my fears and worries are pulling me down.

All that I know, is that I do not wish to make others suffer if I have a choice/possibility to ease/help in that.

So there's this huge "hole" in my heart, and I kind of came to accept that I deserve to be in pain.

Every so often when I'd feel good, I would depress/judge/block that emotion/experience, in fear of hurting another.

Thoughts?

You are experiencing an irrational thought/feeling process, produced by a blockage inside you. You have been allowing yourself to believe it, to buy into its distorted perspective.

Instead, see the irrational feelings and thoughts which you describe not as reality, but as a symptom of a part of you which requires healing.

Then, heal it - close your eyes, focus your awareness on the feeling that you deserve to be in pain and the fear of hurting others; realize that it's a part of you that's hurting emotionally; and imagine sunlight filled with love shining right into that feeling. Stay with it for some time, and you'll notice it starting to relax and dissipate. Keep letting sunlight flow into it until it's completely gone.

Throughout this process, do not try to make the feeling change or go away. Do not try to imagine that something is happening to it. Rather, simply allow sunlight to flow into it, and do all the work for you. The change will happen on its own.
I am grateful for all your comments, everything, just everything. Thank you.
We are grateful for your company here with us, Sprout. Much love to you.
(05-04-2018, 08:04 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: [ -> ]I think unworthiness is an indigo-ray issue.


(05-05-2018, 08:06 AM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: [ -> ]The next center is the pineal or indigo-ray center. Those blocked in this center may experience a lessening of the influx of intelligent energy due to manifestations which appear as unworthiness. This is that of which you spoke. As you can see, this is but one of many distortions due to the several points of energy influx into the mind/body/spirit complex. The indigo-ray balancing is quite central to the type of work which revolves about the spirit complex, which has its influx then into the transformation or transmutation of third density to fourth density, it being the energy center receiving the least distorted outpourings of love/light from intelligent energy and having also the potential for the key to the gateway of intelligent infinity.

This is interesting.

I had thought to give someone the exercise to face their own gaze into the mirror, as a form of meditation to work through feelings of unworthiness. I had not made a correlation between unworthiness and the indigo center, but the exercise I felt was appropriate would effectively work at that level.
Unworthiness as a person is orange ray, unworthiness of being the Creator is indigo.
(05-05-2018, 08:33 PM)Elros Wrote: [ -> ]I had thought to give someone the exercise to face their own gaze into the mirror, as a form of meditation to work through feelings of unworthiness. I had not made a correlation between unworthiness and the indigo center, but the exercise I felt was appropriate would effectively work at that level.

I've heard very good things about this book: Mirror Work by Louise Hay (Amazon)

Publisher Wrote:The Mirror Principle, one of Louise’s core teachings, holds that our experience of life mirrors our relationship with ourselves; unless we see ourselves as loveable, the world can be a dark and lonely place. Mirror work—looking at oneself in a mirror and repeating positive affirmations—is Louise’s powerful method for learning to love oneself and experience the world as a safe and loving place. Like her successful video course, Loving Yourself, MIRROR WORK lays out a 21-day program of teachings and exercises to help readers deepen their relationship with themselves and live a joyous and fulfilling life. “Doing mirror work,” Louise tells readers, “is one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself.”

The reviews are all 5-star gushing.
(05-04-2018, 07:41 PM)Sprout Wrote: [ -> ]Hey, I've a feeling/thought circling around me. I would appreciate your opinions regarding this.

So, I've been wondering. Is it possible that when I experience joy, bliss, fun, amusement, an other self suffers at my expense? (Does that make any sense?)

I'm feeling really lost, and can't get myself to balance, or be my true self.

It really feels like unworthiness, to be living here right now as me with others in this place and time.

There's so much beauty, inside and outside, and my fears and worries are pulling me down.

All that I know, is that I do not wish to make others suffer if I have a choice/possibility to ease/help in that.

So there's this huge "hole" in my heart, and I kind of came to accept that I deserve to be in pain.

Every so often when I'd feel good, I would depress/judge/block that emotion/experience, in fear of hurting another.

Thoughts?


Thank you.

You are really over thinking this. The balance isn't 1 to 1 good/light/joy for bad/dark/sad. The bad works with the good. As light increases there is less need for dark. Sometimes the most extreme darkness happening in the most saturating extreme light as the shadows are deep.

You do no one any good choosing to suffer unless you wish to suffer as part of your own growth.
If you want to help you learn to heal your own wounds and truly love and accept yourself, with that you change the balance of the collective consciousness and the burden on others is lightened so there is less darkness over all and it becomes easier for others to do the same.

If we are all one and you think you are not worthy what does that say of your perception of the whole?
Heal your wounds, focus on that with joy in your heart that you are helping the whole.
(05-04-2018, 07:41 PM)Sprout Wrote: [ -> ]So, I've been wondering. Is it possible that when I experience joy, bliss, fun, amusement, an other self suffers at my expense? (Does that make any sense?)

It doesn't make any sense to feel guilty for joy and fun itself. It's the bright side of your life. It belongs to you.

However it can be linked to some circumstances that make it corrupt. A joyful activity is innocent if:
- it's harmless to others (and you) (e.g. shows in Roman Colosseum were not)
- you don't deprive someone (e.g. neglecting family)
- you don't use equipment made by exploiting workers
- luxury is moderate (immoderate luxury supports consumerism)
etc.