I definitely know when I haven't forgiven someone, but my question is, if you have forgiven someone, but still don't really want to be around them, is that still forgiveness?
I don't spend my time thinking about this person anymore, but I still wouldn't want to be in the same room with them, so is that forgiveness?
When you think about what they've done, or the past, does it still bring up negative feelings within you?
If you don't get an emotional response any longer, I feel you have forgiven them.
Forgiveness involves past action. It's not looking to the future.
I've forgiven one person in my life for so much, and yet I still don't like being around them because of their anger.
I think it's self protection. They make us uncomfortable, and we have to look out for ourselves.
(10-29-2018, 08:49 AM)john11:11 Wrote: [ -> ]I definitely know when I haven't forgiven someone, but my question is, if you have forgiven someone, but still don't really want to be around them, is that still forgiveness?
I don't spend my time thinking about this person anymore, but I still wouldn't want to be in the same room with them, so is that forgiveness?
I would say that, until you're indifferent they're in the room, you have only half-assed forgiven them.
Complete forgiveness begets complete peace of mind.
Remember that other people are mirrors.
If there's something in someone else you don't like, it's usually something about yourself you don't like.
Thank you all for the sincere responses. Agua, what you said about not wanting to collect more stuff to forgive them for, makes a lot of sense. Thanks again to you all.
(10-29-2018, 09:03 AM)isis Wrote: [ -> ]I would say that, until you're indifferent they're in the room, you have only half-assed forgiven them.
Complete forgiveness begets complete peace of mind.
This is true in my experience.
So it comes down to why you do not to wish to be in the room. If you do not wish to be in the room because you are haunted by the incident, then perhaps there’s more foregiveness to be done.
If you do not wish to be in the room because you realize you are different and are indifferent to spending time with them and would rather spend time with people you love to spend time with, than that’s probably ok. I think it’s ok to honor the self and choose to spend time around people who you really enjoy. And just because you|I don’t especially enjoy spending lots of time with a person or being close friends with a person doesn’t mean you can’t love them.
I guess to me the concept of spending time in a room with someone kind of suggests friendship or really enjoying someone’s company. You can forgive, and love someone, and be indifferent or less excited about their company than over good friends of yours.
Ie, I might love my store clerk that I might see regularly, but I choose to spend time and be in the same room of my good friends.
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On a less absolute scale, I think it’s completely appropriate try to forgive compteley and end up only to mostly forgive someone but avoid them because you decide to prioritize other lessons and other inner workings. Sometimes complete forgiveness is hard and choosing to give it time and work on other spiritual concepts is completely understandable over accumulating more catalyst from a person. There is tons of catalyst in this world and you do usually have some choice in which catalyst to focus on.