Bring4th

Greetings everyone!

I’m new to this forum and this is my first post (I apologize if this is under the wrong sub-forum). I just found this site several days ago and was delighted to find such a wonderful and active community. I just finished the Law of One book three and there is endless amounts of material to discuss and review. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. That is why I would greatly appreciate it if this board could offer me any wisdom/guidance on a problem I’ve had most of my life.

Since my teenage years I’ve suffered from a very rare disease, one that Men’s Journal called “without a doubt one of the most mysterious diseases we've ever come across”. It is called postorgasmic illness syndrome, defined on Wikipedia as “a syndrome in which men have chronic physical and cognitive symptoms immediately following ejaculation”. Although there are physical symptoms, the main symptoms are mental and debilitating, including severe fatigue, anxiety, depression, difficulty communicating, remembering words, reading and retaining information, concentrating, and socializing.

There is no cure and very little treatment options, and although the prevalence is unknown, it is very rare. I have always been fairly spiritual and felt there was a purpose for it, and reading the Law of One books has strengthened that feeling, as well as helping me narrow down the possible purposes for it.

At first reading the Law of One I felt it could be a catalyst. Despite how difficult it has been, it has taught me so very much and made me stronger. As a child I used to pray to God for strength and wisdom, and I have long realized it has granted me a great number of opportunities to develop both. It has opened my mind to many possibilities, and I’m very thankful for what I have learned from this open-mindedness, particularly from the Law of One books which have been life changing.

Even more important than this however is that it set me on the positive polarity path. As a young teen I was unpolarized and alienated, heading down a negative path quickly. Although this disease and the obvious suffering I was going through alienated me much more, it also attracted service-to-others friends to which I was extremely grateful, and it allowed me to empathize with others struggles.

Despite the debilitating circumstances of this disease, overall I’m grateful for it, that it got me to this point. However, now that I’ve found the Law of One and this community, I’m far past the point of diminishing returns for the benefits of my disease. As I took away from the first few books of the Law of One, if it were a catalyst, I should just be able to meditate and stop it. However, after almost a week of meditation I haven’t been able to have a significant effect.

In one of my meditation sessions I considered that it might not be a catalyst and could simply just be a blockage of energy centers. Next, I was remembering my childhood, trying to see if anything could have led to a choice to block my energy centers. I remembered my feeling of alienation and lack of friends very clearly, and at the time I thought it was my intelligence that ostracized me. I hated that as I was “gifted” (as the school called me) and just wanted to be like everyone else. I think I may have blocked my indigo ray (and possibly blue ray) in order to fit in better, and when that didn’t work in helping me make friends I grew colder, and I think I blocked my green ray as well.

Even though I have many great friends now, I still feel alienated from everyone due to my disease, and I have great trouble loving those that look down at me (due to the diseases effect on my appearance and personality) even though I understand why they do. I still feel as though my indigo ray is blocked, after all a lack of energy is the worst symptom of the disease, making me feel like a zombie and unable to fufill some of my most simple responsibilities some days. Finally I think my blue ray is blocked as well, as I have great trouble communicating at times.

I will continue to meditate, look through the Law of One books, and this forum for help on unblocking these rays, however I have very little free time right now, so I would greatly appreciate any advice this board could offer on unblocking these rays. Further if you have any similar experiences please share and let me know if you think my analysis of green/blue/indigo blockage is correct for the underlying cause of this disorder.

Hello and welcome! It’s great to have to you here

Anything can be labeled as catalyst. One can use anything as catalyst. This sounds more like pre incarnative programming. Before taking incarnation, you along with your higher self may have chosen this physical condition as catalyst for growth and learning. It may even be karmically related to your past lives. Meditation can help us to see where this catalyst is coming from. So I would just say to keep doing what you’re doing.
Unrelated, but you said you didn’t like being counted as gifted as a child and just wanted to be like everyone else... I can totally relate to that. I was placed in gifted programs in elementary school and I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to fee any more different than anyone else. I doubt this feeling has blocked your indigo ray. Indigo ray is harder to penetrate. If it were blocked, your second and fourth chakra will also exhibit distortion and blockage. I could be wrong. You’ll have to determine whether certain qualities of your being are distorted. Such as your sense of self worth (2nd chakra which if distorted will block 4 and 6.) I no longer am self conscious about being different than others. I’ve determined to know myself and become more and more myself. If you have an attitude like that, then there shouldn’t be significant distortion to block your indigo ray chakra. Others may have different advice. Just my opinion.

Carla, the Law of One channel, was bedridden for a large portion of her life. It was a pre incarnative choice to be frail and weak for her. That catalyst only made her stronger. She was one of the most spiritually mature peaceful happy people I’ve ever seen. She’s such an inspiration because she was content to just be herself. And that light shone brightly.

Anyway, thanks for sharing! I hope to hear more from you

Hello TTP. This page has a lot of general health information which may provide things that may help you with your medical issue which, like Nau7ik, I believe is very likely to be a per-incarnative decision, though that doesn't necessarily mean you should have it for the rest of your life. The page: http://educate-yourself.org/fc/

Hi TTP,

welcome to the forums, and thank you for trusting us complete strangers with your no doubt difficult issue.

I cannot say too much about it right now, but just wanted to share the first thought that came to mind when reading your post, and sorry about putting it rather bluntly: Childhood trauma. Is there any chance the source of your (and other men's) problem stems from sexual abuse or other trauma, probably in earlychildhood? As you might be aware, an experience like that could easily be dissociated, and thus not be accessible to conscious memory. Trauma therapy might be an avenue to explore this possibility, if you cannot rule it out completely - which of course I very much hope!

All the best wishes for well-health and -being,

Nía

Hello TTP

welcome here, it’s a lovely place to be, and I think Nía and Nau7ik posted great thoughts

Best wishes too !

Hello TTP, thank you for sharing your story. I have actually suffered from the same disease, yet luckily at a much lower intensity. Mainly I had depression issues and my heart chakra would close leaving me with feelings of emptiness in my heart. I have also had slight physical symptoms, my heart rate would be much higher when doing sports within ~1 day after orgasms.
I was as well a pretty intelligent kid (not gifted though) with few friends and always needed a lot of my own space.
Ive tried for a long time to find an explanation an saw doctors about it, however my heart was physically in perfect shape.
In any case, I am lucky enough that I do not experience any of the issues anymore. The issues went away between my ~24-28 year. Since I was absolutely non-spiritual at the time I had these issues I didnt attemp any meditative approach though.
I do however think in my case it was related to my previous incarnation. I only know very little about it, but I believe I was a kid with mental issues living in a slum somewhere. I suspect there was tension between my parents, even though I only had images of my father, he probably enjoy the company of other women. Since I am a very empathic being, and generally have problems with inharmonious energy,I believe this took its toll on me as well through my mother. Even though from what I know he took very good care of me. The last part of this incarnation I have seen was having sex (I would expect it to be the only time). I have no idea what happened then, but I have a strong feeling the incarnation ended shortly after that.
I really wouldnt wish any previous-incarnation issues onto anyone, its just an unimaginabley unforgiving and hard thing.

I wish you the very best, may your illness heal as easily as possible!

Thank you all for the warm welcome and thoughtful replies!

I have been busy over the past few days and unable to reply but I read all of them right away and have been thinking them over.

JustAThought, thanks for sharing your similar experience.  I did not mention in my original post that I believed previous incarnation issues were also possible and your belief that your issues stem from them also has me leaning in that direction.

I believed they were possible because I had a dream one night after reading a Law of One section on the service-to-self path, specifically on how they often had a mentor.  In my dream I was a child in an elite family, and I seemed to be in some kind of disturbing service-to-self conditioning program with other children.  We all were very afraid of our teacher and under extreme stress, the atmosphere felt like the one in the movie "Get Out" if you've ever seen it.  I showed up late and underdressed to one of our sessions and was very afraid of what the teacher would do, however all he did was take me aside and gave me a gift, and I had a sense that he would become my mentor.  I felt that at that point I decided to embrace the service to self path, fearing what would happen to me if I did not embrace it.  

Although there was nothing new in the dream that I have not read about, that my mind could not have invented, it was extremely vivid and I felt an overwhelming sense of self throughout the dream, as well as emotion and feeling of it being a significant moment for me that carried through until I woke up.  I felt immediately that it was a past-life, and though I felt an immense sense of regret at choosing the service to self path and horror at what choices that could have led to, remembering the intense fear of what would happen to me if I did not choose the service-to-self path allowed me to forgive myself for that choice.

Nia, I have great parents and had a pretty insulated childhood.  Other than not having many friends I'm almost positive there was no trauma, but if my dream above was a past-life then I think it's highly likely there was some childhood trauma in my previous incarnation.  

Nau7ik, thank you very much for sharing your ideas and experience as well.  I do think that it could be from a range of different reasons, likely related to a previous life, and strongly agree meditation is the only way to narrow it down.  Your response strengthened my will to explore my past lives and get in touch with my higher self, and led to a very interesting meditation session last week.  I'm not quite sure how one explores their past lives, but I felt it could be related to the gateway to intelligent infinity that Ra speaks of.  I tried to meditate upon reaching that in order to explore my past lives, and I felt I came close due to my extreme will to resolve this issue.  I was very joyful as Ra explained one would feel upon reaching intelligent infinity, and although I didn't exactly feel like I was the One Infinite Creator, I felt what seemed like a faint memory of what that would feel like.

Cannon, thank you for the link, I read it and found it very interesting.  I have done a fair amount of research into health as a result of my condition and I agree with a lot of what this article said, and would note that even conventional medicine is starting to support some related treatments like nerve stimulators, only the expensive ones though. I have not read much into holistic treatments and have never tried them (have tried many supplements though) so if anyone has experience with them please share.

It sounds like you're on the right track. Understand the primal reasons for the occurrence of the disease, and work from there.

I've noticed a similar phenomena. Where if I ejaculate, for a day or so afterwards there is a lethargy or greater susceptibility to negative impulses (negative meaning away from my positive intentions). This being likely due to the fact that the ejaculation is a release of tension or desire from the body.

From my research it would simply correlate with the realization that men tend to relax greatly after orgasm, but if there is work to be done, then perhaps the relaxation is not the answer.

From your dream, it would seem clear that your gift is the disease, this forcing you to work towards your own good, as you are literally unable to assist others in any meaningful way. This seemingly indicating that excessive STO is an imbalance, as is excessive STS. Leading me to wonder what kind of a harvest occurs at 50 and 95 percent. To heaven? Or perhaps to hell.... So your teacher then is the steps or fight to get yourself to a place where you are able to positively impact reality as opposed to simply being supported by it.

Hello, and welcome!
You're not alone in this. I also feel physical pain after and sometimes even during coitus.
I too, always thought it was a choice I made before birth.

btw I think faith is much more important as a necessity for connection with intelligent infinity.

The negatively polarized use an immense extent of will to penetrate ( strong yellow ray)

Hello TTP

I recommend exploring semen retention. You may be able to engage in and enjoy sex and possibly masturbation without ejacualtion by avoiding ejaculation. The best resource that i have ever come across for moving sexual energy around for males is Taoist Secrets of Love (link below). If you go on the journey of sexual transmutation, you will get benefits above and beyond sexual enjoyment.

http://krishnamurti.abundanthope.org/ind...Energy.pdf

Cheers!

(12-01-2018, 06:33 PM)I Love to Dance Wrote: [ -> ]Hello TTP

I recommend exploring semen retention. You may be able to engage in and enjoy sex and possibly masturbation without ejacualtion by avoiding ejaculation. The best resource that i have ever come across for moving sexual energy around for males is Taoist Secrets of Love (link below). If you go on the journey of sexual transmutation, you will get benefits above and beyond sexual enjoyment.

http://krishnamurti.abundanthope.org/ind...Energy.pdf

Cheers!

I will second this suggestion.  I tried that in the past for purposes of having multiple male orgasms (dry orgasms), but I believe it could well be adapted to have sex without a complete orgasm.  Great suggestion "I Love to Dance" !
 

(12-01-2018, 06:33 PM)I Love to Dance Wrote: [ -> ]Hello TTP

I recommend exploring semen retention. You may be able to engage in and enjoy sex and possibly masturbation without ejacualtion by avoiding ejaculation. The best resource that i have ever come across for moving sexual energy around for males is Taoist Secrets of Love (link below). If you go on the journey of sexual transmutation, you will get benefits above and beyond sexual enjoyment.

http://krishnamurti.abundanthope.org/ind...Energy.pdf

Cheers!

I don't recommend masturbation and then witholding ejaculation at the last seconds. I did that and it gives you "blue balls".

It made it painful to orgasm anytime for the next six months - 1 year or so. I am over that now, but it was painful stopping the orgasm just before it happened.

I have experimented with ejaculation without cumming. If you get blue balls, then your pushing just to far. In my own opinion the ejaculation without cumming is intended to be a sort of ramping up of the incoming sexual/red ray energy.

What I do if I am using this technique. Is to focus on what causes the arise of sexual energy, for me that image/thought is my wife.
The point is to stimulate the flow of red ray energy. After stimulating this energy you begin working with the energy and bringing it up through your other centers. You when lose traction or focus begin to stimulate the red ray energy again, until you can bring it up. You do this over and over futher bringing the energy higher and higher.

The state at which orgasming without the physical "orgasm" is actually quite advanced in my opinion.

There are many talks about orgasming without orgasming, and I would say that there are levels and areas of metaphysical orgasm. The first stage is an orgasming in the orange ray, and you can feel the "twirling" inter-compounding energies in your stomach radiating what feels like orgasm.

In my opinion ejaculating without cumming physically is not a substitute for sexual discourse.