Lately I have just been very frustrated. For a while now I think I have been doing a very good job letting go of past issues and hurts and balancing myself out. For the most part, things are going great. However, it seems like no matter where I go, I find myself in the company of extremely negatively-minded people. For me to end up in this type of environment once could be pure chance, but the fact that it keeps happening must mean that there is a lesson I am just not learning, and it is driving me crazy, because all I want to do is live my life in peace.
I recently began taking fewer hours at my job at the grocery store in order to get a second job and hopefully make a full transition once I get enough hours at my new job to pay the bills. The grocery store has pretty much become a mass conglomerate of negative behavior that makes the Orion empire sound cozy...people fighting with one another on a constant basis, no teamwork whatsoever, complete disrespect, backstabbing, finger pointing, and the store is going under because of it...we've failed our past 3 audits simply because people refuse to help each other out and get simple, easy tasks done, and management turns a blind eye to the whole thing. I've done my best at shining a light into this black hole, but aside from averting some of the negative attention that was directed specifically toward my being things only seem to be getting worse. I spent a long time searching myself and asking Spirit what would be an appropriate action...to try to find a better atmosphere or to try to use the intense catalyst as a sort of spiritual boot camp to make myself stronger.
Eventually I was SURE that I was being guided to this new job...the way things all fell into place seemed a little unreal. Once again, I seriously searched myself and it seemed like this was the opportunity I had been looking for, so I took on a second job in hopes of eventually being able to leave the grocery store entirely. For about the first week everything seemed to be exactly as I was hoping, but shortly after my hiring I once again found myself amidst some seriously negative behavior. I did not do a single thing to these people except help them out, but there is a level of anger and completely disrespectful, hateful behavior directed toward me that is disturbing in its magnitude.
One of these people I even defended and kept them out of a sticky situation, but the reply was not exactly gratitude. I've barely even spoken to these individuals, but for some reason they seem to see me as a walking target to belittle and make look bad. I have done my very best to reflect their hatred with kindness and be an example of the love I would like to see in the world. When they insult me, I shrug it off. When they rudely order me to do something, I do it without complaining. I go out of my way to be polite to them and help them in any way I can, but it only gets worse. Today I left work in tears because I was seriously tempted to display some negative behavior of my own and tell them to #$%^ off.
So I find myself in the exact same situation as my other job, only now I'm making less money and have more stress. I REALLY felt like this is what I was being guided to, but I don't understand it at all. What part of myself am I just not managing to balance to keep getting stuck with these kind of people on a daily basis? All I want is to just go to work, do my job and be treated like a human being. What message is trying to be expressed here? I would really like to know because it is stressing me out to no end.
(10-08-2010, 03:44 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]What message is trying to be expressed here?
Stick up for yourself?
Sorry to hear about the difficulties. I've had somewhat similar experiences, in a general sense. In my case, there was a long running theme of people being angry at me. This went on for years and to some degree still does.
Although some of these people are more or less emotionally unstable, in the long run all the fingers pointed back to me. That is, it turns out that they, in self defense, reflect my own anger which is obvious to everyone but me.
Returning to your present situation, I'm not suggesting that these folks are acting out your own nastiness. But I am trying to hint that there might be some sort of internal reason for the intense theme in outward life, something which might be quite present, yet entirely invisible to you.
You might try giving yourself some time to clear your screen, relax and ask your guidance to intimate the nature of the lessons that you're currently struggling to learn.
Don't expect a straightforward answer. If you were ready for that, you'd probably have it by now. Rather, expect to be guided obliquely. Therefore, as you follow what you're given, don't just look straight ahead. Look all around for clues. Expect the least expected because, again, if were obvious, you'd know it already.
Chances are excellent that the lessons have to do with something you don't want to know about. But that's good. It means they trust you to move further into your own little world of darkness and light a wee candle.
Sorry to have rambled so much. I wish you happy adventures.
It clearly sounds like you are running away from the problem. You will keep finding yourself in jobs like that if you do not face whatever it is you are not being honest about. I cannot say what it is because I am not you, and there isn't enough in your post to work with....but it seems that you do not honor yourself enough, and feel like you must show to others that you are willing to be mistreated in order to make them feel happy...and they seem to be more than content to do so, because their version of "happy" is to control you and throw negative crap at you every day..
Look within, and heal whatever it is that might be unbalanced. You will only see a change in them once you've changed yourself.
Ahktu--
You communicate well and obviously enjoy doing it. Have you thought of pursuing a career in which you get paid to communicate?
I don't have any answers or suggestions. I can only tell you that you're not alone in your feelings. It feels like I've hit another wall in my spiritual progression, despite wanting nothing more than to keep moving forward. I sincerely hope you find your key to moving forward. At least take heart in the fact that you're aware a lesson is being presented.
hey ahktu, from what you have written i suspect that you were indeed guided to the new job, not to solve the problems or because it would be easy for you, but for the opposite reason - to shine a light on whatever it is you feel about yourself that triggers this behaviour in other people.
do you modify your behaviour or your manner at all in your workplace? when you say you have tried shining a light that sounds like you have in the past been identifying something external as 'wrong' and directing your energy towards trying to correct it.
thing is, YOU are the light, you have no need to shine a light towards any external area, simply be the light by being yourself 100%.
when you have the confidence to be yourself, to let yourself shine, other people can't help but be attracted to your light. you'll radiate honesty, trust, integrity - people will feel safe around you.
you are a wonderful, unique and radiant individual, let yourself shine x
Thanks for the replies, everyone. I have tried to post a response about 5 times now and a glitch in the computer keeps deleting it, so I think this is a message that I need to just sit back and chill for a minute and try to relax, and do a deeper delving into this issue once I have regained a more secure emotional state.
Eddie, what kind of careers would you have in mind? Preferrably any that only require a high school diploma, as my college situation is....complicated right now.
I can't quite figure out what to say, I want to say something here, I've wrote out 20 responses, all different, alas.. I feel none really say anything. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give is to show others that you love yourself, and you won't let yourself be compromised. And you being the naturally good hearted person you are, certainly will take that one step further, without thought, and not only love and be strong for yourself, but also able to extend love and not to manipulate people when the chances arise, speaking your mind.
Negativity seems to love us to open our hearts, so it can strike us down. You do not deserve this.
It is your right to be yourself fully, with your heart open fully, and not to have these things happen to you. I know you will find your way. When the going get's tough, chance is on the horizon.
Best wishes!
(10-08-2010, 05:43 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]Eddie, what kind of careers would you have in mind? Preferrably any that only require a high school diploma, as my college situation is....complicated right now.
Many things come to mind. I suspect that, in the right circumstance, you would make a great radio host. I have heard you speak from the heart, and when you do, you are fluid and powerful, more so than your formal educational credentials would suggest.
There is another option. I don't know how familiar you are with the Monroe Institute, but I think you should investigate opportunities there. Now this would take some planning, as they would of course require you to take some of their courses first, which cost $$, but I have a hunch that you and TMI would be a good fit.
As for negativity in the workplace: I have survived a job situation that was about as bad as it is legally allowed for one to be exposed to in this country; you can overcome what you are facing. The key is to remember that 3rd density experience is illusory. We are participants in a sort of play that is staged for us, so that we can learn lessons in this spiritual school. Once you realize that, you can see beyond it. Once you really and truly understand a lesson, you no longer will be exposed to the catalyst that directed your attention to that lesson.
Happiness is something you find within yourself. Forgiveness stops the wheel of Karma.
When people are hurting, they often push the hurt towards the next in line that they perceive as a safe target. Paradoxically your kindness may make people see you as weak and thus safe. Kindness requires firmness as a balance. That said, it's not always a possibility to implement that in existing relationships for example towards coworkers. People want to keep the situation as it is.
You can do some little things. Stand up straight and when people unload their hurt on you face them and look them in the eyes compassionately. Basically wait until they're done. This demonstrates strength and will tone them down a little bit, while you can still avoid provoking them, also you will feel stronger. Our posture determines to a great extent how we feel about ourselves. So make sure your posture and breathing is good. See their complaints as their hurt, and put it down by your feet, don't identify with it, you're not the creature they see before them anyway. You're a visitor in their dream. Try to understand what their pain is. Breathe slowly and deeply, remain relaxed and compassionate. It will reflect in your body language and that's enough. Don't make their pain yours it's their cross to bear, you can't assist by bearing it for them. It won't make it lighter for them. You can help by just being there.
By doing this you communicate to their subconscious. They will perceive you as more powerful and tone down. Also you will communicate to your own subconscious that this hurt is perceived and not experienced. Not draining your own strength. If you convince them of your strength they will begin to seek your approval. Give it, but not all the time. By withholding approval occasionally you increase your own status and make the approval you do give feel so much more valuable.
If it sounds a bit manipulative that is because it is, you're essentially taking control of the situation through the means available to you. Since no one else seems awake enough to do it it may as well be you right?
Sometimes there are openings to heal the pain or at least take the position of an ally. Don't jump these chances too quickly. If you miss one but are compassionate when it's shown it will only make its coming back more likely and at the same time it will give you the extra time to reflect on it. Usually all it takes is to properly name it.
I think people will agree when I say you're one of us, and we're proud of you. Take good care of your posture and breathing. And don't let them get you down!
Namaste
Thanks, Biu_Tze and Ali Quadir. Both of you had some very helpful suggestions. I am pretty quiet and tend to slouch in my posture, and I can see how this would make me an easy target. I was also thinking of the whisper technique...lowering your voice when someone is yelling at you instead of raising it. It forces them to come back down to a calm level and hopefully a more meaningful conversation can be exchanged.
I've two days away from the place, so hopefully I can come up with some more productive solutions by monday instead of just getting upset.
I agree more on the lines of βαθμιαίος. It was a tough lesson for me to learn too, but you can't show honest fourth chakra love without having a fully nourished third chakra. Personal power. Self-love. Yes, you don't want to fight negativity with negativity, but is a parent's discipline on their children a form of negativity? No. It may seem harsh and unfair to the kids, but the parents know what's best and they teach them that way out of love for them. There are always going to be people like that in the workplace, if you don't stick up for your own sense of belonging, then, well, you'll be weeded out. If people are getting on your case about something, and you're doing everything right, ask them what their problem is. What you could be doing differently. Defend yourself, and don't be afraid to speak your mind. Forgive them afterwards, and forgive yourself.
Like God never got angry.. if you believe in the Garden, we were kicked out, because we were given the knowledge of good and evil, and coupled with everlasting life, we would become like gods without the wisdom of knowing when to be good or evil. We had to be sent out into the world of illusion to learn for ourselves how to balance our hearts and our wisdom. You certainly have heart, sir, but wisdom says, "If you don't run your own life, somebody else will." "If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you." "When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself."
You probably were called to go to that job to realize how "real" and stressful the world can be, and since you, I don't want to say ran away, but decided pacifistically to take the risk of finding a job with a more peaceful environment, and it didn't work out the way you thought, then this is the lesson. You can either try to find another job, and, possibly, make less money or you can stand your ground and learn the lessons that come with defending your right to exist, in the workplace in this case.
I think this is the reason the STS route is open to the 5th chakra. There IS wisdom in defending your own sense of belonging, but they don't use the heart, which is why they lose in the unity game. Unity is the balance of knowing when to be good and "bad."
I strongly recommend reading up on the third chakra, and meditate on it. We all want, well, nearly all of us on this board, want to go into the world wearing our hearts on our sleeves, but if you don't love yourself enough to stick up for yourself.. it's hard to radiate the message that you really do love.
I hope this didn't seem too critical. I really mean to help, because I dealt with this lesson just last month, and when I realized what was missing, I worked to regain my confidence via the third chakra. When I did, I felt AMAZING. I honestly felt myself truly loving others around me, because you begin to radiate love, and people can sense that. You may find that when you achieve this, negativity will dissipate upon you. A powerful 3rd chakra is the foundation to the shield of love.
Much love.
Edit: In reading the post above, posture and good breathing comes naturally with a healthy third chakra. You can't fake compassion. If their negativity brings you down, you're not ready to be truly compassionate. You may think you are, but you'll know the difference once you're truly living with a heart chakra based upon the fully thriving yellow chakra.
(10-08-2010, 05:10 PM)Lorna Wrote: [ -> ]thing is, YOU are the light, you have no need to shine a light towards any external area, simply be the light by being yourself 100%.
albeit that, if you shine, it always happens to be outwards to an outer area.
dear ahktu
dont ever let anyone belittle you. no one deserves to be belittled or
has the right to belittle someone else. i would confront the next
person who tried to run that garbage on you. either it will stop or you'll
get fired. either way u wont have to put up with it anymore. and if
you are let go there is always another job to go to. perhaps as has been
suggested u could look for work in a different field instead of a grocery
store try a department store. the atmosphere there will definitely be
better. let us know how it turns out. also one other thing the energy
lately has been very dense and it is bringing out the worst in everybody.
it should improve shortly
norral
Gribbons is right of course, a strong belly chakra helps tremendously. My tips are of the fake it until you make it variety. Its easy to fake body language. But it will temporarily boost your belly chakra, until it comes as second nature.
The whisper is okay, but don't make it too contrived I can imagine if people interpret it as weird. They will just use it as ammunition. But a little lower is good. Also use a deep voice, not high pitched as it expresses a calm inside and people with more power tend to lower their voice. Panicky people use a high voice.
If you feel adrenaline pumping, feel it.. don't fight it, that will only increase your fears breathe deeply and take a strong posture. Radiate the energy so it flows and doesn't get stuck and builds pressure.
Ahktu- You are being given opportunities to be amid the darkness and still be unfazed and undeterred from your path. why you? because you are ready for this experience.
The idea is to play with the cards that are presented to you and do the very best you can under the circumstances. The idea is to keep one step at a time and don't think about the long term. I imagine a running back with football taking hits from all sides, trying to knock either the ball or the running back. Running back just keep running looking towards the holes provided by the opportunity and goes as far as she/he can go...
(10-09-2010, 11:56 AM)thefool Wrote: [ -> ]Ahktu- You are being given opportunities to be amid the darkness and still be unfazed and undeterred from your path. why you? because you are ready for this experience.
Wow, the fool...you are pretty smart! alot of sense and insight in that sentence.
Hugs Ahktu....I don't have any wise words for you, everyone has given you great advice, I just want you to know that I support you in your journey.
Be well
I don't have any advice to share here that others have not already gracefully and thoroughly shared. However, I know that with your love of crystals, you'll find it helpful (hopefully) to know that I just obtained a celestite crystal yesterday, and I've already seen beneficial effects in my everyday life. It was a very easy crystal to bond with for me.
You might already have one. But in case you don't, here's some info on it. The page, I think, has some solid info on it, but some of it seems to be there just because the author could put it there. You know, like wheeeeeeeee new age! You can make up anything! Anyways, here's the link.
http://www.accessnewage.com/articles/stones/stones7.htm
I want to send you love too Ahktu.
Sometimes we help people more by standing up to them - don't feel you have to be a doormat to be of service. Nor dose standing up to people have to be aggressive or defensive.
The advice here is fantastic, when you find your own power and hold your own space then you will have the room to be the real you.
You will have the confidence to stand up and look people in the eye and radiate all that you are - people will see your love and strength and that will be of far more service to them than letting them dump baggage on you.
Hey everyone. After much deliberation, I have decided to go back to my original job full time and deal with the issues there. I think the second job opportunity served to allow me to get away from the source of my stress for a while and look at it objectively. Today it all just hit me, how I could work out these issues, and how I was happy to have the chance to be a good example in a place that is kind of depressed at the moment. I'm not sure exactly how everything clicked so suddenly, but it was groundbreaking for me. I realized I need to grow up and solve my problems, not just run away...I think my higher self did a great job of illustrating that point by allowing the same situation to arise, and I apologize to him/her for getting so upset about it. I realize now I just wasn't going to see it any other way. In the end it all worked out perfectly.
These feelings were confirmed today when the manager of my department came up to me and expressed his feelings on how the department seems to be falling apart and he asked for my advice on what I thought might work to make it better. I'm not sure how great my suggestions were, but just the fact that communication was going on was a huge step. My main suggestion was to establish more and clearer communication between department members. Hopefully it might actually work. Also, one of the people there who was giving me major catalyst decided to switch to a different department, which I think will greatly reduce the constant stress she is under and hopefully make our interactions more pleasant. She was already much nicer today than she ever has been.
The co-manager of my second job also happens to be a close friend, and he totally understood and said he thought I was doing the right thing working my issues out, so there were no hard feelings from my leaving. In the end, things wound up okay. I just hope I can remember this the next time I get all paranoid and stressed about something...that God DOES provide to those who ask.
Thanks so much for all the replies and advice...I couldn't have done it without you guys.
Wow, the universe really shifted when you shifted your perception! Remember your insights, keep that perspective, it's obviously helping you! And keep that posture up, you're an inch taller than you think you are
Also it sounds like there's a chance to do something bigger for more people too. Your old manager asking your advice is also an opening for you two to unofficially discuss shop later on
It seems you're still in the process of taking control of the situation.
The universe always gives you the chance to go back to your old unhappy self... When something happens that makes you feel you're being pushed back to that old unhappy state, realize it's only the universes way of asking you if you want to go back. Your job is to clearly indicate the direction you want to go. People who don't know that mechanism often give up because of that and they end up going back while they really want to move forward.
Congratulations