(04-10-2019, 04:00 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: [ -> ]One thing she said was that I wasn't worth (metaphorically) saving from drowning because I'd just pull others down with me. The other thing that was really hurtful was when she said I didn't love her when the hard times rolled around, which hurts because it invalidates my feelings. Thanks for your sincere attempt to help, xise.
I break down hurtful comments directed toward me into two sub-groups, in order to process them:
(1) comments that are just inherently incorrect basically they involve spiritual concepts that are just misunderstood/against the nature of the Creator/universe
(2) comments that are not inconsistent with the nature of reality but are usually feared or considered undesirable
Mind you, I try to speak logically but the actual process involves feeling and honoring all emotions that arise, and not suppressing or judging any emotions/thoughts as bad.
Quote:One thing she said was that I wasn't worth (metaphorically) saving from drowning because I'd just pull others down with me.
On a spiritual level, everyone is inherently worthy, so first this aspect of comment can never be true or correct. That being said, with respect to non-spiritual truth or accuracy, I truly believe it is irrelevant to processing the catalyst of the comment. But we can still try and see if we understand what she was conveying by understanding the comment as one where the message is one where "one is too much time, effort, and trouble to help because they would likely pull the helpers down instead of rising up" or something of that nature.
Don't we all know people who seem to want help, but we feel would take too much time and effort to help? I would say that for most everyday people, perhaps who have not made the choice, there are absolutely situations where people feel they cannot help another because it would likely be ineffective and likely pull themselves down, for whatever reason. Even for people who are somewhat spiritual - we too have our capacities and abilities in able to help, perhaps you feel that a mentally ill person you cannot help by spending a lot of time with them in real life without adverse consequences themselves. This is a conceivable reality and can be the situation. How to understand the situation where the person is hard to help, and would seemingly adverse affect those who try to help - since these sorts of people do or at least conceivable exist - how do we think of them in a loving way, instead of a judgmental way?
There are many ways to love, understand, and accept those people that are hard to help and to also recognize that the helper often does not have the tools or the full willpower to help. Both the helper and helpee are in stages of evolution, and both can grow, but for whatever reason, at this time there is a personality clash, lack of wisdom on either side, and many other reasons, that make helping difficult. In short, both the helper and helpee are human beings who are still learning and evolving.
Quote:I didn't love her when the hard times rolled around, which hurts because it invalidates my feelings.
Maybe you did, but maybe a part of you resonates with this because you feel like you didn't or that you didn't properly show your love or you were just misunderstood. Go through each one of those scenarios, find the part of you that says "this scenario is not ok: - ie (a) not loving / not acting loving toward someone in a given moment that I truly care about is not ok/cool (b) I didn't show enough my of love to the other person and that is not ok/cool © I loved someone dearly but she doesn't see that and that is not ok/cool. Why is each scenario not ok? Remember, we know from Ra that all is acceptable. With respect to (a), do we not know people, and understand situations which cause people to be temporarily unloving for understandable reasons? With respect to (b) Do we know understand why people occasionally do not show their love ? With respect to ©, do we all not know people whose love is misunderstood or not recognized by the person they love? Can we begin to understand why the loved person may not feel the love?
Without going through each possible instance, try to find similar scenarios in life, movie, theater, social circles, and apply understanding to them. Try to understand the actors and the situation that leads to similar situations that you find yourself in. If you can understand the situation (not always possible), then you can recognize that this situation is a pattern that exists elsewhere in the universe, and thus accepting the pattern in your life is accepting simply the nature of reality, on a certain level. Although not everything is open for understanding in 3D, often people and situations within the illusion, for the most part are imo - its the detailed workings of things outside of the veil that are less understandable.
I will write more as I ponder, as this is much harder to put into words than I anticipated.