I had a dream tonight that I am not sure of if it is connected to what happened during this day, but I post it anyway as it might be easier for you to see if there is any connection.
In the dream I was standing before Some Entities with no shape and I communicated to them in thoughtform (I was not myself as I am in this more or less conscious 3D form), so words are poor tools to translate this communication, but the main meaning of what I "said" was: "I want to die now". Instantly I was sent back to "Earth" and as I realized with my "Earth" consciousness what I just "said" I "screamed" back to these Entities that I "can almost die, not die fully". It is hard to translate all the thoughts into words since they are not compatible to my current brain.
During the day I had a deepiest meditaion ever but as I reached a critical point I started to cough my lungs out and the blue ray center received great pressure and pain/blockage. As I concentrated on this chakra during the day there was a message, probably from my Higher Self or the subconscioussness, that was very clear. I've had these kind of messages before and know better by now to not ignore them any more. The message was: "Prepare yourself now to go home". Simple and clear as it sounds.
Yesterday I had this feeling/knowing that expanded my earlier "belief". Prior to Ra material I "knew" that this was my last incarnation. Sometimes I could burst into cry wanting to go "home" without knowing what that concept of "home" meant. But I still missed it that much that I could have a great cry missing it that much. Anyway, yesterday, this feeling expanded into something bigger, that this is probably not only my last time incarnated on Earth but also in 3D of this "wheel" (hard to explain it, but I can try to explain if someone wants to).
"Preparing to go home" means to me to get rid of all humans values of Light. By that I mean that it is natural for human to "kneel" before angelic entities or higher densities. If I want to go home I must leave these distortions behind me while still incarnated and seek the love and oneness with all that appears. If it is an angel or Archangel or Higher Density Light I must interpret that this is One with me and I am an inseparable part of that Light. Does it sounds arrogant? One must not forget that this thought seems to go against "human nature"/and what is guarded on this planet, ie "free will". If a Higher Density Entity would appear in front of a human it is our natural instinct to "kneel" and follow that entity despite that it might conflict with our own inner nature of understanding.
It is yet not that simple since another big question that have been brought up to my attention earlier, but I refused to think it through then, was all the loved ones and all connections that have been made here on Earth (I've been here for about 3600 years, I think). I am thinking of not only my current mate but also my child. It is time now to think that through. It contains also a lot of connections made during my many incarnations that I am not fully aware of, both to other Wanderers and those of 3/4D entities, that I created bonds with. Sometimes I meet people, and some of them I refer/ed to as "Starsisters/brothers" and others I refer to as "beloved ones". Since I have not penetrated the veil of forgetting fully yet I don't trust myself yet in who is who. And it doesn't matter, since the question is – can I leave all of these that I created that special bonds with who are going to stay here?
This question is of double nature.
Back "home" I have this "memory" that I know is not complete in my current "human" understanding but the core point is there.
I left my mate because of the "mission". I followed principles of duty/honour/service to others instead of listening to my "heart", and I left him.
When I came back home a lot of time have past and he was "empty" inside. The Light was abscent in his eyes (this was not in 3D, might be 4D?) and then I realized the most important – that "duty" (=STO?) was not important. What was important is that in front of you, ie Love in front of you.
The reason that I left him in the first place was that I had something that no one else had, so it needed to be me. I followed this group through some tunnels (not of the Earth kind) into a chamber where memories become dizzy, but there is a strong feeling that in that "room" there were gates to the rest of the Universe (this is a very simple explanation).
I've been dreaming of this mate lot of times in different forms and the main picture is that I have enormous giult since at the end it was clear that I chose "duty" instead of true existence, that is love. I chose STO distortion instead of pure Light, that is love in front of you. This seems also to be a long time ago, before unity and understanding. That this IS the lesson of this current 3D life for me.
Am I making the same misstakes here as I made "back home"? Is this incarnation a lesson of what I missed to learn "home" and how do I learn it well now?
These questions and answers might be not applyable or translate-able in words – but I need to ask them as it seems that I am repeating the same pattern here and trying to learn from the past. As my current brain works – this all means that I have to throw all the concepts of my "home" away and become a part of this "family" with all of those that I have made strong bonds with, BUT never have I felt that special feeling and/or connection that bubbles up inside me thinking of my family, my home and specially of that entity back home which I left for the "duty".
Now I remember that there was also pride (that I had something that no one else had) and curiosity (that I needed to do being the special one which is another issue).
These are my experiences. It doesn't matter if they are unlike yours, does anybody else here have received the same message, ie it is time to prepare yourself, to go home? And what do these difficulties and/or experiences means to you?
I would suggest you might consider your understanding of time/space is skewed by space/time perception. From the time/space perspective, "right now" could be tomorrow, next week, year, decade, century, millennium, or longer, for time is circular, not linear. Even if you have been here in service for the entire 3rd density cycle, comparing that time with one's conscious spirit of millions if not hundreds of millions of years... is as Ra said, but "the blink of an eye".
No one spirit, when connected to intelligent infinity, ever feels alone or empty inside. The only possible place in existence where this feeling is possible is when within this illusion behind the heavy veil. I would suggest this mate is one aspect of you, and this aspect seeks for you to embrace it, to love it, so that you may progress.
Quote:Am I making the same misstakes here as I made "back home"? Is this incarnation a lesson of what I missed to learn "home" and how do I learn it well now?
you should act in accordance with your spirit's drive. if it is wanting to go you should.
there are more delicate considerations for souls of high vibration than alone / not feeling alone. when in its natural vibration all spirits have certain delicate spiritual biases, delicate distortion patterns they are comfortable with according to their nature. 'just being connected to intelligent infinity' would not offset anything. the being connected to intelligent infinity is in quotes, because an entity which is truly connected to intelligent infinity, would be starting to feel the calling of its spirit like there's no tomorrow. it would seek the place it fits. the calling would be so strong that nothing would offset it. s/he would ram through walls.
you should do whatever your inner calling is. dont be forcing yourself to this, or that, with biases/necessities that are present on this planet. they will be gone tomorrow, this civilization, these situations, whatever is happening here, all of them. everything here is also a passing moment, which is real and important infinitely, but also fake and insignificant oppositely.
let the urges present in your spirit, enunciate themselves. if there is a calling, present it to your spiritual circle. if there are earthly needs, bring them too to the table. say "situation is as such, and like that, and this ..." and then decide what to do.
Sure, I have similar thoughts and emotions. Once you remember that you have a larger home, you question the one that you live in.
You know the truth of your origin. Those who seek love for all, know who they are. Others know them for who they are as well.
It is never time to go home, because you are always home.
Once we become self-aware, we choose our home
The love that you remember may have a name, its name may be Duty.
Difficult to believe, I know, but passion is as big as the universe
Love and Peace
Nabil
(01-02-2011, 09:33 PM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]I had a dream tonight that I am not sure of if it is connected to what happened during this day, but I post it anyway as it might be easier for you to see if there is any connection.
In the dream I was standing before Some Entities with no shape and I communicated to them in thoughtform (I was not myself as I am in this more or less conscious 3D form), so words are poor tools to translate this communication, but the main meaning of what I "said" was: "I want to die now". Instantly I was sent back to "Earth" and as I realized with my "Earth" consciousness what I just "said" I "screamed" back to these Entities that I "can almost die, not die fully". It is hard to translate all the thoughts into words since they are not compatible to my current brain.
During the day I had a deepiest meditaion ever but as I reached a critical point I started to cough my lungs out and the blue ray center received great pressure and pain/blockage. As I concentrated on this chakra during the day there was a message, probably from my Higher Self or the subconscioussness, that was very clear. I've had these kind of messages before and know better by now to not ignore them any more. The message was: "Prepare yourself now to go home". Simple and clear as it sounds.
Yesterday I had this feeling/knowing that expanded my earlier "belief". Prior to Ra material I "knew" that this was my last incarnation. Sometimes I could burst into cry wanting to go "home" without knowing what that concept of "home" meant. But I still missed it that much that I could have a great cry missing it that much. Anyway, yesterday, this feeling expanded into something bigger, that this is probably not only my last time incarnated on Earth but also in 3D of this "wheel" (hard to explain it, but I can try to explain if someone wants to).
"Preparing to go home" means to me to get rid of all humans values of Light. By that I mean that it is natural for human to "kneel" before angelic entities or higher densities. If I want to go home I must leave these distortions behind me while still incarnated and seek the love and oneness with all that appears. If it is an angel or Archangel or Higher Density Light I must interpret that this is One with me and I am an inseparable part of that Light. Does it sounds arrogant? One must not forget that this thought seems to go against "human nature"/and what is guarded on this planet, ie "free will". If a Higher Density Entity would appear in front of a human it is our natural instinct to "kneel" and follow that entity despite that it might conflict with our own inner nature of understanding.
It is yet not that simple since another big question that have been brought up to my attention earlier, but I refused to think it through then, was all the loved ones and all connections that have been made here on Earth (I've been here for about 3600 years, I think). I am thinking of not only my current mate but also my child. It is time now to think that through. It contains also a lot of connections made during my many incarnations that I am not fully aware of, both to other Wanderers and those of 3/4D entities, that I created bonds with. Sometimes I meet people, and some of them I refer/ed to as "Starsisters/brothers" and others I refer to as "beloved ones". Since I have not penetrated the veil of forgetting fully yet I don't trust myself yet in who is who. And it doesn't matter, since the question is – can I leave all of these that I created that special bonds with who are going to stay here?
This question is of double nature.
Back "home" I have this "memory" that I know is not complete in my current "human" understanding but the core point is there.
I left my mate because of the "mission". I followed principles of duty/honour/service to others instead of listening to my "heart", and I left him.
When I came back home a lot of time have past and he was "empty" inside. The Light was abscent in his eyes (this was not in 3D, might be 4D?) and then I realized the most important – that "duty" (=STO?) was not important. What was important is that in front of you, ie Love in front of you.
The reason that I left him in the first place was that I had something that no one else had, so it needed to be me. I followed this group through some tunnels (not of the Earth kind) into a chamber where memories become dizzy, but there is a strong feeling that in that "room" there were gates to the rest of the Universe (this is a very simple explanation).
I've been dreaming of this mate lot of times in different forms and the main picture is that I have enormous giult since at the end it was clear that I chose "duty" instead of true existence, that is love. I chose STO distortion instead of pure Light, that is love in front of you. This seems also to be a long time ago, before unity and understanding. That this IS the lesson of this current 3D life for me.
Am I making the same misstakes here as I made "back home"? Is this incarnation a lesson of what I missed to learn "home" and how do I learn it well now?
These questions and answers might be not applyable or translate-able in words – but I need to ask them as it seems that I am repeating the same pattern here and trying to learn from the past. As my current brain works – this all means that I have to throw all the concepts of my "home" away and become a part of this "family" with all of those that I have made strong bonds with, BUT never have I felt that special feeling and/or connection that bubbles up inside me thinking of my family, my home and specially of that entity back home which I left for the "duty".
Now I remember that there was also pride (that I had something that no one else had) and curiosity (that I needed to do being the special one which is another issue).
These are my experiences. It doesn't matter if they are unlike yours, does anybody else here have received the same message, ie it is time to prepare yourself, to go home? And what do these difficulties and/or experiences means to you?
Remember, also, that forgiveness stops the wheel of Karma. Sounds like you may need to forgive yourself (for undertaking a noble duty!).
Karmic bonds are never permanent. They have only the strength that we assign to them.
I can completely resonate with you on wanting to "go home" and even on feeling that I left someone very special to me behind in order to come here. I often get the feeling that I didn't "think things all the way through" when I volunteered for all of this, and I bit off more than I can chew, automatically thinking I would be great at it (pride) when in reality this planet has been extremely hard on both my physical and energy bodies, and I was much more green at this than I considered myself to be.
I suffer a great deal due to my extreme sensitivity, but I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I didn't take into consideration exactly what was going to be involved with incarnating here. I was all gung-ho, thinking "I want to do this, and this, and this...and I want to take ALL my abilities WITH me...yeah, that would help a lot! I'm gonna save the world!" I can see my guides trying to get me to be more rational, but my enthusiasm made me deaf to their wisdom. It has been hard to forgive myself for this youthful foolishness, though I suppose it has been an interesting lesson. I'd probably do it again if I got the chance, because it's what's made me who I am, and I feel I have gained great wisdom in being here, even if things didn't go exactly how I planned.
Of course, I also want to help as much as possible. I'm not about to ditch this big ball of love I'm living on just because it's maybe a bit more than I expected. I'm not sure what I THOUGHT this mission would be like, but I'm in it now, and I'm going to do everything I can to be the brightest light possible.
I can also resonate with the "curiosity factor." I feel that if there was one personality trait that wasn't programmed into me by my childhood, previous incarnations or what have you, it is my curiosity and my intense thirst for knowledge. I just want to know EVERYTHING. I want to go absolutely everywhere and see all there is to see. I even want to explore the dark, nasty places because I love seeing and learning new things. I wouldn't be beyond saying I'm greedy in this area. My husband says I have a greed for power, because knowledge = power, and I always want more knowledge. I realize that there are downsides to unabashed curiosity, and that there are some things I'm just not meant to know right now, but I can totally see myself throwing my hand up going "OH! PICK ME! PICK ME! EARTH SOUNDS NEAT! I WANNA SEE IT!" Lol.
Basically, though, I'm not going to say I think you should go home or stay here. That is a decision that you have to make for yourself. I would just say to consider all your options, and make the decision out of the very core of your heart, and without shame. Only you can decide what is best for your soul.
Home is always ever present within you. There is no going to home for home is where you already are. We are so much more than our bodies. We are multiverse and multidimensional beings. Your ego/body wanting to go home is akin to leaving your house and wandering about lamenting that you are trying to go home. When you infact just left your home.
It is easy to misunderstand the circular nature of time. Our minds are set at 3D and the understanding therein is time is linear. We have to "move" forward in time to go home. When in fact home is right wherever you are standing for you are already home within you.
I remember in my early seeking along with the folly of youth, I wanted to "go home." I gave up all my possessions including clothing and shoes and sat waiting to go home in my empty apartment. My guides gently reminded me that I am already home. I did not understand what they meant. How could this cold and dark place I was in Home? We bring ourselves with us whereever we go. There is no outside. There is only the inside. All that is outside is simply a reflection of the inside.
We have a longing to be in a place where Love is the rule of the day and connection is the basis of life. Where gentleness and unity are prevalent. The rub is it is up to us to create this. We create all that which we see here on this earth plane. We also simultaneously exist in 11 different realities some of which are elsewhere in the universe. As we grow in abililty to use our Luminous Human Gifts we will catch glimpse or even whole days of these other realities. And there will be a longing to re-connect to that "home." This is the conscious mind wishing for something "better" and not understanding that you as a Multi-dimensional being are already "home" there and "home" here.
fairyfarmgirl
I came here flying on standby, with a plastic shopping bag full of odds and ends for luggage stashed under the seat. Just as I have lived my rather long life, doing things at the last minute, making snap decisions, always in crisis management. When I was a kid my favorite church song was Wayfaring Stranger, because that's the way I felt. And still do. Just going over home.
But I love this planet and this cosmos and mortal life, warts and all. And yes, wherever we are, is home. Some rooms in the house are prettier and nicer than others. Basements and attics are not where most of us spend our time here, but those of us who have them periodically have to clean them out. Not always pleasant, but we run across things we had forgotten, little life treasures that we put away and don't think about very often, along with the dust and cobwebs and mouse droppings. And there are always surprises.
So in a sense, right now, on this planet, in this density, we're in the basement, trying to make order from seeming chaos and remembering how beautiful the rooms upstairs are and wishing we could be in them instead. And we argue with our fellow selves about what to throw out and what to keep, and who caused this mess in the first place.
I think it's a beautiful plan, even though I jumped on the plane at the last minute and wasn't well prepared for the trip, what with my plastic bag of jumbled belongings, leaving behind some essentials and bringing stuff I had no use for. Or so I've often thought, but now, not so much.
Anyway, as a dear friend often says, we're right where we're supposed to be, and we're right on time. So don't worry and fret, keep your sense of humor and your humility intact, re-read the Desiderata ever once in awhile (helps me, anyway), keep the lower chakras in balance as well as you can, and keep going, whether your progress is in baby steps or quantum leaps, whatever your distortions and biases. This IS home, and we're working on it, whatever our ability and capacity, and with whatever gifts we're provided while we're here, the Law of One being a very marvelous gift, whether or not we understand much of it with our logical minds. It speaks to the mind and the heart and the spirit, and we can absorb it in whatever medium and amount are needful for us as individual entities who are part of a magnificent whole.
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
(01-03-2011, 09:14 AM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]I can totally see myself throwing my hand up going "OH! PICK ME! PICK ME! EARTH SOUNDS NEAT! I WANNA SEE IT!" Lol.
LOL!!! I could totally see it!!!
I resonated with your experience as well except that I was persuaded by Elderers. I didn't "think things through" either but in different way. I had an abilitity that was really something different and Elderers came to
me and wanted my help. I was reluctant to leave my mate, my love, but I followed them because of curiosity to the potential of this abilitity and because of pride that I had this abilitity, since I was just a common member of our societal unity before that abilitity manifested. That abilitity was a powerful tool that no one else had and I didn't know how/in what way. But they did and so I followed them. I had also a low self-esteem, and didn't trust this manifested ability, and this theme goes again in this present life. Low self-esteem, and not trusting myself. Not believing in the Divine because I am not worth that Grand Embracement.
Then I remember we walked through a tunnelsystem underground and I was surrounded by Elderers. They were leading me to headquartes which was some kind of "room" in the heart of this system and there was gates and different time perception. It is dizzy, but somehow time dissappeared there. The last memory was when I got back to my soulmate. To see him was devastating to me, because I din't realize that so much time had gone, that I had been gone for so long. I remember his eyes. His eyes used to be bright like two stars shining on the surface of the ocean, but when I got back and saw them, that brightness, that light was gone and they were pale. He was sad and tired, and I saw emptiness in his eyes instead. The last I remember is his words – "It's been too long". He kept repeating it "It's been too long".
Who knows, maybe it was school of Gods. We were practicing before we incarnated here. This happening here in manifested physical illusion, and I need to remember, to not go on some kind of "mission" and not to forget the very true existence in front of you, the love shining through eyes of the Creator standing next to you?
The interesting part is that I remembered my pre-incarnative choice, the Duty. I remembered yesterday. My blue ray center was activated almost the whole day yesterday and I was coughing my lungs out until I almost threw up. I am not a bit sick or having any kind of cold, but my throat feels still some kind of pain. I am still not sure of how to proceed with it all. The balancing part is very hard. I want to dedicate myself completly to service to others, but what happens then? Maybe I am aiming too high? Maybe I am not? Who knows...
You wrote "It has been hard to forgive myself for this youthful foolishness, though I suppose it has been an interesting lesson."
What exactly happened to you? Probably we were all foolish and naive incarnating here thinking we would do some measurable difference that we could see and touch with our physical senses. But Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow is a bunch of masochists who throw ourselves off the cliffs without thinking it through. We just trust that we will learn to fly while still falling and grow our wings by Faith before we crash ourselves to death.
(01-03-2011, 09:14 AM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]Basically, though, I'm not going to say I think you should go home or stay here. That is a decision that you have to make for yourself. I would just say to consider all your options, and make the decision out of the very core of your heart, and without shame. Only you can decide what is best for your soul.
I want to go home. Oh God knows how much! But I won't leave my family and friends and everybody else who needs me here. My family above all. I think that I could go home now, if I really wanted it. And I do! I do! But not now. I won't leave until all incarnations has come to a natural end here. And if I am lucky maybe I will have the honour to take some of my Brothers and Sisters of Earth and watch them to pass through the Gates Of Love, ie 4D.
What is best for my soul? I want to go home right now, but I will suffer too much if I leave right now and leave everybody. I need to stay but it also means that I have to suffer. It is hard here for my soul and that's why I want to go home. There is too much disharmony and pain here. None of these options suits me. So it has to be the third one.
What would that be?
Nabil, fairyfarmgirl and others – I know that Ra stated somewhere that if the Self is crystallized then the whole Universe becomes home. Maybe I am not there yet, maybe we all are different and some will find their place within whole Universe, and others in specific vibrations? I don't know. My "home" is not a specific place, but it might be. My "home" is my "family", my sisters and brothers of the origin who vibrates in same way. I might wander around the Milky Way and discover different rays and vibrations of our Logo, but I still want to go back to my "own" vibrations. I see it like a jar of balls of different colours that broke and mixed up. We all trying to know ourselves and each other, but I still belong with the blue ones and not the red ones, thought we are all the same balls. It is not the place, it is the specific vibrations, the ones that we might refer to as "true brothers and sisters of the origin" in this density. But I maybe worng, and in that case I have to admit that I am not cristalized yet.
Solitary – Thank you, brother, for your post! I smiled and laughed and felt suffer through it all. It was a beautiful saga that I will chew on.
Quote:What exactly happened to you? Probably we were all foolish and naive incarnating here thinking we would do some measurable difference that we could see and touch with our physical senses. But Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow is a bunch of masochists who throw ourselves off the cliffs without thinking it through. We just trust that we will learn to fly while still falling and grow our wings by Faith before we crash ourselves to death.
Hi Ankh..
I laughed appreciating your sarcastic humor at this statement! Thanks for posting. Ties into the excellent observations and comments made in the "plan is flopping" thread.
http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...6#pid26166
Do you think we'll learn to fly before we crash ourselves to death? By we I mean all of humanity.
It might be helpful to think of it all as a big virtual reality video game where you crash over and over and can always hit the replay button
So if we aren't "successful" with the plan, we can just start over with some new game-rules, and a new game.
I am so thankful for the Ra and Q'uo channelings that consistently emphasize that we only need to succeed in being our radiant self, and keep our heart energy flowing...the overwhelm of getting our society on the planet from how it is now to a place that would truly feel like home can be discouraging.
Those of us who are spiritual seekers can be encouraged to know that we are doing our part. This is a good reminder for me, I think I need daily doses! I can't singlehandedly change the archetypal energies I have been working to change, but I can take heart that I am doing my part.
(01-04-2011, 09:52 AM)Shemaya Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Ankh..
I laughed appreciating your sarcastic humor at this statement! Thanks for posting. Ties into the excellent observations and comments made in the "plan is flopping" thread. http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...6#pid26166
Do you think we'll learn to fly before we crash ourselves to death? By we I mean all of humanity.
Hi Shemaya.
What a pleasure to bring some laughs to a Sister!
During 2002 (+/-1-2 years) I've had lots of nightmares, real and vivid, that concerned end of the world, or at least end of human kind. There was always something about water, flood that washed the surface clean from humans, severe thunderstorms and tornados. Today I understand it to be Orion attacks (?). This went so far that I got severe panic and anxiety attacks for couple of years after that and I got convinced that it would be the end of humans. The last two I had was this year. The first one was about that there was something with the sun. I even got surprised in the dream thinking "Sun?! And I always thought that it would be something with water". The last one was about small villages built by few humans in the new world, 4D I guess. These dreams all came before I found Ra material. So when I found Ra material I stopped thinking in that way, end of human kind way, because what you feed with your thought it grows. Now I am thinking and hoping for positive transition for all kind of lives and for Mother Gaia, and just started to participate in Gaia meditations.
(01-04-2011, 04:43 PM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Shemaya.
What a pleasure to bring some laughs to a Sister!
During 2002 (+/-1-2 years) I've had lots of nightmares, real and vivid, that concerned end of the world, or at least end of human kind. There was always something about water, flood that washed the surface clean from humans, severe thunderstorms and tornados. Today I understand it to be Orion attacks (?). This went so far that I got severe panic and anxiety attacks for couple of years after that and I got convinced that it would be the end of humans. The last two I had was this year. The first one was about that there was something with the sun. I even got surprised in the dream thinking "Sun?! And I always thought that it would be something with water". The last one was about small villages built by few humans in the new world, 4D I guess. These dreams all came before I found Ra material. So when I found Ra material I stopped thinking in that way, end of human kind way, because what you feed with your thought it grows. Now I am thinking and hoping for positive transition for all kind of lives and for Mother Gaia, and just started to participate in Gaia meditations.
Hi Ankh,
That's an intense experience!
I am really glad you have joined in on the positive visualization and positive transition for us and Gaia! The more of us there are that are thinking this way, the better. We are very very powerful as a collective! I like to picture a bright beautiful garden and lots of happy smiling faces, especially children. Also I think of "Peaceable Kingdom", I get a very happy moment whenever my 2 cats and dog sit together on the sofa....my family's peaceable kingdom.
Regarding your frightening dreams, maybe these were just ways for you to clear your fears, residual from past lives. I think it's pretty common for people who are awakening to have fears that come up, and one of our big fears is destruction and anniliation. Afterall we have been through it before in Mars, Maldek, and Atlantis etc. Once we process the fears, we can take a wider perspective, our higher self's perspective, that we are eternal and do not die, and our bodies are a vessel for our immortal Spirit.
When my big fears came up initially I didn't have memories or dreams, it was just a body sensation of gripping terror. I was shaking in fear, and didn't really know what I was afraid of. It literally felt like bone-gripping terror, it felt like it was right in my cells. I was feeling the fear in my body on and off for a few months, and then it dissipated. I do sometimes get the feeling back, when reading the Law of One material it can come up in relation to the "harvest" and "graduation"...like I'm going to fail and have to repeat 3rd density. I don't think I could handle it!! I do find it can play into feelings of being judged for unworthiness. I get lots of reminders of my worthiness though, especially from Gaia.
She assures us that we are all integral, and needed, and have important gifts that are aiding in the transition. She wants us to rest in her, and find solace in her living heart. Simply connecting to her in this way is aiding the transition! Just acknowledge the connection daily and you are helping
(01-02-2011, 09:33 PM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]Yesterday I had this feeling/knowing that expanded my earlier "belief". Prior to Ra material I "knew" that this was my last incarnation. Sometimes I could burst into cry wanting to go "home" without knowing what that concept of "home" meant. But I still missed it that much that I could have a great cry missing it that much. Anyway, yesterday, this feeling expanded into something bigger, that this is probably not only my last time incarnated on Earth but also in 3D of this "wheel" (hard to explain it, but I can try to explain if someone wants to).
you made me cry a bit reading through this Ankh. But I tend to cry at a lot of things lol.
I had a similiar experience to this, but mine was more a conscious VISION.
- -
it happened about 18 months ago, and I was on a train to work late at night.
I too had been doing the deepest mediations of my life thus far. I was going 90-120 minute sessions, and testing myself by going out in the freezing cold and testing my mind's discipline over the body. I even decided one day to go to a busy street corner in the middle of the city, and meditate as 100's of people walked past, all talking, and cars were beeping and screeching. An interesting experience I must say.
- -
anyway, I was on this train trip, and I was just spacing out, not really dozing not really concentrating on anything. Sort of daydream state I guess.
all of a sudden, I feel the crown open up, and my consciousness is in contact with another density. I sense the presence of a group of entities, and I KNOW STRAIGHT AWAY that it is my soul group, those people of my home density, and those that I had left to carry out this mission of being a wanderer. I was just bathed in Love, a sense of total safety, belonging, and acceptance. I have not felt that kind of Love either before or after this experience.
I also received a telepathic message:
"You will be home soon"
and I felt these golden teardrops land on my shoulders, on my physical being.
- -
still one of the most amazing experiences in my life thus far
(04-23-2012, 07:45 PM)plenum Wrote: [ -> ] (01-02-2011, 09:33 PM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]Yesterday I had this feeling/knowing that expanded my earlier "belief". Prior to Ra material I "knew" that this was my last incarnation. Sometimes I could burst into cry wanting to go "home" without knowing what that concept of "home" meant. But I still missed it that much that I could have a great cry missing it that much. Anyway, yesterday, this feeling expanded into something bigger, that this is probably not only my last time incarnated on Earth but also in 3D of this "wheel" (hard to explain it, but I can try to explain if someone wants to).
you made me cry a bit reading through this Ankh. But I tend to cry at a lot of things lol.
Me too. Nowdays.
Thank you for bringing up this old post... It's a lot of confusion in it, but when reading it, something woke up inside myself...
I remember when it all happened a year ago, and I was so full of optimism, of going "home" after this incarnation, and all that...
But nowdays, I am thinking that maybe I won't graduate... That I won't make it. And it's been kind of heavy to carry, this possibility of perhaps not making it. So, I've been thinking that: "well, then it will be for the best", and yet... I remember how I convinced I was a year ago of going home after this incarnation. And I am not now....
Ah, well, we'll see what happens, and thank you for this, brother.
plenum Wrote:I had a similiar experience to this, but mine was more a conscious VISION.
I *love* visions!
plenum Wrote:all of a sudden, I feel the crown open up, and my consciousness is in contact with another density. I sense the presence of a group of entities, and I KNOW STRAIGHT AWAY that it is my soul group, those people of my home density, and those that I had left to carry out this mission of being a wanderer. I was just bathed in Love, a sense of total safety, belonging, and acceptance. I have not felt that kind of Love either before or after this experience.
I also received a telepathic message:
"You will be home soon"
and I felt these golden teardrops land on my shoulders, on my physical being.
- -
still one of the most amazing experiences in my life thus far
Sounds amazing, brother! And I agree with you that it sounds like your social memory complex! They contacted you through the violet ray! Congratulations! These are the best experiences EVER, in my humble opinion!!
Since you seem to have this contact with them, check out my other thread called "Social memory complex and the third density self" in Sessions in focus sub-forum. It is all worth it, to establish the contact with your soulgroup, as it might bring additional energy into your life. (But besides that, the feeling of meshing with them in your mind are beyond what words can describe in forms of pleasure!!
)
i think in a sense we have already graduated. i dont look at this from a standpoint of being rated. i dont need anyone to rate me. u either love me all of me or u dont. if u dont thats fine no point in us forcing anything . if u do u wont rate me u will embrace me. i dont want of need anyone to rate me , we are either comfortable with each other or not. i dont rate my friends i love them because we feel comfortable together. i i aint living this life to gain anyones approval god knows we have had enuf judgement in 3d for a trillion life times. i want someone who actually likes me
(04-23-2012, 07:45 PM)plenum Wrote: [ -> ]I even decided one day to go to a busy street corner in the middle of the city, and meditate as 100's of people walked past, all talking, and cars were beeping and screeching. An interesting experience I must say.
It just hit me that what you described above sounds like this "lightning the planetary vibration" that Wanderers came to do.
This is what Carla said "In the Now" show last Friday:
Carla Wrote:You came here for a reason, like everybody, you know, you have some reasons for living. You have some somatic lessons that you came to keep banging yourself in the head by experiencing, until you learn. And you’re busy doing these things, and the big thing that you came here to do is lighten the planet, which you do, not by what you do in actions, but, most of all, by what you do in thought. So here you are in a system of illusions that is very persuasive, and it’s telling you that you’re different, that you’re other, that you don’t fit and that you don’t belong. And on top of it you keep having these annoying and recurring feelings that you really want to do something, to help the world. And why you would want to help this world you can’t quite figure. Well, this is what you came to do, so, give it up, it may be a very hard job, but it’s the one you picked.
I think that besides to mainly polarize in thought, there are also some specific things that some of us came here to do, in thought.
For instance, when I am by myself and walking among people, I listen to the music. During this, most of the times, I receive visions, and sometimes memories. When I am able to open myself up to them, I feel an activation of the violet ray, and then my whole head. When I am able to merge with these visions and memories, I feel the energy is spreading further down, and when merging with the green ray, it starts to radiate. When I am alone, and do this stuff, I feel stronger activation and radiation because I can focus better, and when it's particuarly strong, I feel this activation even spreading and radiating through my hands.
What I wanted to say, is that this might be my specific thing that I brought with myself into this incarnation, i.e. to bring these visions and memories to this planet, and due their extremely positive nature, to lighten the planetary vibration, by using thoughts? And perhaps, you brought the same thing with you?
Ankh, I am not sure I can give good advice to you, as I do not view myself as someone who is not fully "home" in Earth, even if I know that the 4d future awaits every one of us at some point. (in the now, obviously, but hey! : ). But two key things are important, I think.
1) You are not leaving anyone behind if you go somewhere. That is only the distortion of I-Based worldview. Every soul has its own plan, its own - limitless - power and its own path to walk on. If that path contains "being left behind" for a bit, so be it. One might not even perceive it that way. So worry not, if you really are going to leave your loved ones behind, they are fully prepared to deal with it - or they chose to incarnate with you so they can learn how to deal with it, anyway.
2) I was thinking a lot about that "humans should kneel before angels" stuff. It is distorted, I knew that. But somewhere down the line a trap of 22 was engrained in our society so deeply that I needed a lot of time to articulate HOW it is distorted. Ironically, your post was the one that make me form something that I think is the perfect explanation. Humans are quick to kneel before they are seeing a mirrored power difference. Which means that if they see a powerful being, they immediately assume that that being acts as if THEY would act if they had that much power. Which is exactly like how the majority of fear-based leader acts in our societies: shut up and kneel or you will be dealt with, one way or another.
But we know already that the beings love us infinitely, unconditionally. We love them too. Therefore there is nothing making us lower our heads. Just like with "pet" companions, it is not demeaning for a dog to walk beside a human. Some human expect and train the dogs to be obedient slaves, but that inner pride is always within one such being. There is no shame in that pride. There is no shame in being what one currently is, even if that form is "smaller" or "less powerful" than someone else in comparison. In a world where there is no Veil anymore, I expect to welcome our big brothers and sisters with my head straight up, because if I want to kneel in shame, I could do that already without needing to meet an extraterrestrial to kneel before.
-------
Edit: Wow, did I really reply to something from the past? Well, time does not exist, so....
(04-24-2012, 05:58 AM)Oldern Wrote: [ -> ]But we know already that the beings love us infinitely, unconditionally. We love them too. Therefore there is nothing making us lower our heads. Just like with "pet" companions, it is not demeaning for a dog to walk beside a human. Some human expect and train the dogs to be obedient slaves, but that inner pride is always within one such being. There is no shame in that pride. There is no shame in being what one currently is, even if that form is "smaller" or "less powerful" than someone else in comparison. In a world where there is no Veil anymore, I expect to welcome our big brothers and sisters with my head straight up, because if I want to kneel in shame, I could do that already without needing to meet an extraterrestrial to kneel before.
There was one time, when I was about to finish one meditation, when I got a visit from a 4D being. And you know how unconditional that love is? It was like a crystal mirror, where I saw all my flaws and all my thoughts in that mirror; and I started to cry because I felt so ashamed of myself, for not being pure enough in my desire to serve others, for not being loving enough, etc.
And I expected this being to leave me, because of all that I was/am, but nope... He just continued to be there with me, comforting, *unconditionally* loving, helping me to get through this storm.
And I thought over and over that he will now leave, but he didn't...
There was nothing "powerful" about him. There wasn't anything about that at all. It's just that he had another vibration, and he didn't get swayed from this unconditional love vibration by anything.
So you are right, there isn't about that kind of power that we have in our distorted third density culture, anymore, when the veil will be gone. He was sure powerful, but not in the sense that I have experienced in this density.
Oldern Wrote:Edit: Wow, did I really reply to something from the past? Well, time does not exist, so....
There is no time/space to calling, so you sure answered someone.
Thanks Oldern, your reply cleared something up for me...
and I always felt reticent to kneel in church (when I was still a member).
this is all part of the old paradigm of making us feel small, and unworthy, be it propagated thru religion, or the government or our work hierarchies.
I think this sense of unworthiness is something that we all struggle with at one point or another.
Seems to be a wanderer issue.
couldnt agree more . funny but i was thinking last night what would i say if i met christ. christ i consider to be the godhead personally incarnated in the flesh. so i see christ as a direct emanation from god. now if i was convinced it was truly christ i would say blessed master and friend speak your servant listens. but i would not feel lower than less than or any of that stuff. for me the idea of a stern judgemental being just does not work. hell i can find that right here in this world without really looking to hard. i certainly dont need it from divinity. it would be so important to me to have christ or buddha or whoever like me. i cant have a relationship with someone who doesnt see the beauty in me. then it becomes like a rescue mission and thanks but no thanks ill die over here in the gutter naked and hungry on my own thank u and retain my dignity . we are all equals we are all valuable and precious and we all have something to contribute. i dont look down on anyone because of their profession or education or economic status. it doesnt matter to me what i care about is the persons vibration. are they radiating the vibe of love, friendship , loyalty , kindness humility. if they are they are all right with me. and that s why i have never asked anyone for their autograph in my life. hey i have an autograph my own autograph i dont need anyones autograph
norral
(04-24-2012, 06:55 AM)Meerie Wrote: [ -> ]and I always felt reticent to kneel in church
I had to laugh at this. Could totally see it in my mind, Meerie!
And norral:
(04-24-2012, 08:47 AM)norral Wrote: [ -> ]funny but i was thinking last night what would i say if i met christ. christ i consider to be the godhead personally incarnated in the flesh. so i see christ as a direct emanation from god. now if i was convinced it was truly christ i would say blessed master and friend speak your servant listens.
If Ra (the greatest entity ever in my world) would land in front of me, I would say: "Teacher, could you show me what you've meant by that love and light fusion? We can talk about all the other stuff later."
(04-24-2012, 10:05 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ] (04-24-2012, 06:55 AM)Meerie Wrote: [ -> ]and I always felt reticent to kneel in church
I had to laugh at this. Could totally see it in my mind, Meerie!
And norral:
(04-24-2012, 08:47 AM)norral Wrote: [ -> ]funny but i was thinking last night what would i say if i met christ. christ i consider to be the godhead personally incarnated in the flesh. so i see christ as a direct emanation from god. now if i was convinced it was truly christ i would say blessed master and friend speak your servant listens.
If Ra (the greatest entity ever in my world) would land in front of me, I would say: "Teacher, could you show me what you've meant by that love and light fusion? We can talk about all the other stuff later."
Jesus Christ, the sacrificed Father figure of Christian Scripture...or Jesus, the man?
I think the latter conversation would be much more interesting and eye opening.
http://www.theatlantic.com/past/docs/iss.../jesus.htm
Richard
(04-24-2012, 10:05 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]If Ra (the greatest entity ever in my world) would land in front of me, I would say: "Teacher, could you show me what you've meant by that love and light fusion? We can talk about all the other stuff later."
Ra is awesome, though I've found them to be a tough teacher in my spiritual experiences. My lessons with them were about balancing the extremes of emotion, and the emotional continuum. I learned there's such thing as being emotionally hypersensitive and something being too adorable. I couldn't handle the adorability of some of the things I was seeing.
If Pleiadians appeared before me, I'd be incredibly thankful to them for showing me how to simply open my heart to Creator's Love, and then everything took off from there. I'd probably ask them how to better get into the vibration for allowing me to shift into my desired reality. As I believe 4D is a very personal thing.
(04-24-2012, 10:41 AM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Ra is awesome, though I've found them to be a tough teacher in my spiritual experiences. My lessons with them were about balancing the extremes of emotion, and the emotional continuum. I learned there's such thing as being emotionally hypersensitive and something being too adorable. I couldn't handle the adorability of some of the things I was seeing.
Yeah, you've talked a bit about it, Wolf. And I think that I understand what you mean. Although I find Ra to be very gentle and loving teachers.
Then, of course, they can't help the distortions that are in my mind.
What I mean is that maybe they try to teach you, but can't work with the distortions that appear in your mind? Only you can work with these distortions? Just a thought I had...
(04-24-2012, 10:57 AM)godwide_void Wrote: [ -> ]Fuse now, ask questions later?
Aha.
Thanks Ankh. Yes, that's probably what it was. Their purity amplified my own distortions, and really rocked my world.
(04-24-2012, 12:17 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks Ankh. Yes, that's probably what it was. Their purity amplified my own distortions, and really rocked my world.
Wolf, you can learn to love your distortions! I am loving mine when reading the last four words in your post, and you can learn to love yours too.
/
(01-04-2011, 08:41 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]I want to go home. Oh God knows how much! But I won't leave my family and friends and everybody else who needs me here. My family above all. I think that I could go home now, if I really wanted it. And I do! I do! But not now. I won't leave until all incarnations has come to a natural end here. And if I am lucky maybe I will have the honour to take some of my Brothers and Sisters of Earth and watch them to pass through the Gates Of Love, ie 4D.
This really stood out for me. I'm not sure if I could really go home now, and I do want to.
(04-24-2012, 06:36 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]There was one time, when I was about to finish one meditation, when I got a visit from a 4D being. And you know how unconditional that love is? It was like a crystal mirror, where I saw all my flaws and all my thoughts in that mirror; and I started to cry because I felt so ashamed of myself, for not being pure enough in my desire to serve others, for not being loving enough, etc.
Wow, if I could have a visit from a 4D being. Such love.
Ayahuasca. That's all I have to say. Do it.
(07-13-2014, 12:59 PM)GentleReckoning Wrote: [ -> ]Ayahuasca. That's all I have to say. Do it.
I've heard about the purge that it's pretty awful. It comes out both ends. And that Ayahuasca tastes awful.
But the plant spirits probably can teach a lot.
![[Image: tumblr_lp8dm2TNqy1qkvv7g.gif]](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp8dm2TNqy1qkvv7g.gif)