01-05-2011, 06:14 PM
This is nothing big, just asking for some help!
So. I've been having some troubles with my ex-girlfriend, and her boyfriend. Well, let be explain the whole thing. I don't know why I'm sharing this with you, I really don't, but I just feel like I should...
Six months ago, I contacted my ex-girlfriend. We hadn't been talking for like a year, so I decided it's a good moment. And actually, I had a good reason to talk to her, because I wanted to tell something to her. It was about lying, I wanted to reveal one lie that I had carried with me for a long time. Well, that went very well. She didn't take it hardly at all, actually she just laughed.
So we began talking, and had lots of fun. After a while, his boyfriend became very jealous about it, or something. He's very acquisitive (or possessive) person, so he couldn't handle the fact that his girlfriend was talking to her ex. So, I decided to back off a little bit. After a while, ex contacted me again and wanted to talk. I don't remember how it went, I think I just said, that I don't want to destroy your relationship or something.
Then one night, I felt very lonely, so I wrote a text message to her, telling how I kind of miss her. She was very positive towards me, and said she'd feel the same. Well, his boyfriend read the message, and got upset, of course. So, one day he called me. He asked me if his girlfriend (and my ex, should be clear by now) had answered to me. Well, I knew, that if I said yes, he would leave her. So I tried to avoid answering it, but eventually said something like "Yes but we didn't talk". Few minutes later my ex-girlfriend (let's just name her Julie for your sake. And her boyfriend is Alex) called me, and told me to take back my words or something. So I called Alex again, and lied to him, that I had cheated him. He believed me, and so their relationship continued. Alex told me to never talk to Julie again.
Few weeks later Julie called me, that everything had went wrong and her life had just fallen apart. Well, I helped her and so-on, tried to ease her pain. She was pregnant, too. She said, that she wouldn't care about Alex anymore, and just wanted to leave him, for he had "cheated" her on the internet and phone or something. I don't know. But days passed, and one day she said that their realtionship would be over. Again, weeks passed, and we're finally getting to this moment.
So, we talked quite a bit during these few weeks. The big thing is, that everytime we tried to talk, there would be some problems with cellphones and such. Sometimes I couldn't contact her at all, because there was no connection to her phone or something, even though it was on and everything. It actually seems, that I'm the only one he really had problems with. And I mean technical problems. Sure, there were few other cases aswell. But everytime we talked, her phone would suddenly go boom and lose connection to me. One day her cellphone actually stopped working in the middle of our conversation and she had to get a new one. Fortunately, it was christmas time, so she got a new one quickly.
But that's not all, I did have "the feeling", that I shouldn't be talking to her, and someone (higher self) is trying to tell me something. I don't know, so let me continue the story.
So we had these "technical problems" with her cellphone, that no-one else seemed to have. It was just me and her. And she often called me from her sister's phone, that "Yeah, it's my phone again". She didn't have "talk time" (I don't know the proper word in English) left in her phone, so she couldn't call me. She always had depleted it just when I contacted her. And no, she did not try to avoid me. Really! I'm very sure about that, so let's forget it, allright?
Let's move on. She lives about 300 kilometers from my town, so we cannot meet everyday. Actually, we haven't, for like 3 years. But anyways, last week she actually visited Helsinki (the town I live in, it's in Finland). We were supposed to see each other, but somehow it just didn't work. I actually got this feeling in the morning, that someone tried to tell me "don't go there!". And her friend didn't want us to meet somehow. They where very much against the idea. So we didn't meet.
Today, I texted her like "hi! would you like to text with me this evening?". But of course, in Finnish. I also got this strange feeling, that "why in earth did I add "this evening" to the message. I still don't know, maybe it's nothing. Or maybe it is. Anyways, few moments later she responded me like "have we talked before?". Like she wouldn't know. And I was like "whaat?". So "she" called me. But when I answered, it was actually Alex (her boyfriend) talking. I was like wtf.
He asked me if I had talked to Julie before. I felt, that I should lie again, and pretended to be someone else, than I am. He believed it, and actually told me that they are still dating. Of course, he didn't mention that they had "broken up" or something, and I decided to shut up about it. Things went well, and later when he texted me with very angry tone, I told him, that I don't want to be a part of this conflict, just leave me alone.
And as I'm thinking now, it was a great thing, that I didn't really talk much to Julie. Or met her either. Man, Alex would tear him apart if he heard about it. Could these things happen by purpose? Of course, and I really feel that's the case.
So here I am. He tried to call me during this message, but I didn't answer. You've heard my story, and hopefully understood it. But here comes my big question:
What am I supposed to do? I feel that there is a very big catalyst going on for me, but I don't understand, what it is.
Should I be part of this conflict again, or just leave it alone? I mean, I'm very confused. And when I thought about this thing, Bring4th just popped up on my mind, and I really wanted to share this thing with you! Don't know why, really. As I have finished writing this, I actually feel alot better now.
But my big question still is, what am I supposed to do? Is this a great deal of catalyst offered to me? And how should I respond to it. I have tried to act so, that their relationship would be okay. But should I just walk away now?
I know there isn't much you can tell me, but I would still appreciate some responses, just to feel better about this thing. And I appreciate it alot, if you read through all this stuff. I quess I just wanted to share my pain with you. You guys are very important to me! Thanks alot for creating this magnificent forum, everyone!
So. I've been having some troubles with my ex-girlfriend, and her boyfriend. Well, let be explain the whole thing. I don't know why I'm sharing this with you, I really don't, but I just feel like I should...
Six months ago, I contacted my ex-girlfriend. We hadn't been talking for like a year, so I decided it's a good moment. And actually, I had a good reason to talk to her, because I wanted to tell something to her. It was about lying, I wanted to reveal one lie that I had carried with me for a long time. Well, that went very well. She didn't take it hardly at all, actually she just laughed.
So we began talking, and had lots of fun. After a while, his boyfriend became very jealous about it, or something. He's very acquisitive (or possessive) person, so he couldn't handle the fact that his girlfriend was talking to her ex. So, I decided to back off a little bit. After a while, ex contacted me again and wanted to talk. I don't remember how it went, I think I just said, that I don't want to destroy your relationship or something.
Then one night, I felt very lonely, so I wrote a text message to her, telling how I kind of miss her. She was very positive towards me, and said she'd feel the same. Well, his boyfriend read the message, and got upset, of course. So, one day he called me. He asked me if his girlfriend (and my ex, should be clear by now) had answered to me. Well, I knew, that if I said yes, he would leave her. So I tried to avoid answering it, but eventually said something like "Yes but we didn't talk". Few minutes later my ex-girlfriend (let's just name her Julie for your sake. And her boyfriend is Alex) called me, and told me to take back my words or something. So I called Alex again, and lied to him, that I had cheated him. He believed me, and so their relationship continued. Alex told me to never talk to Julie again.
Few weeks later Julie called me, that everything had went wrong and her life had just fallen apart. Well, I helped her and so-on, tried to ease her pain. She was pregnant, too. She said, that she wouldn't care about Alex anymore, and just wanted to leave him, for he had "cheated" her on the internet and phone or something. I don't know. But days passed, and one day she said that their realtionship would be over. Again, weeks passed, and we're finally getting to this moment.
So, we talked quite a bit during these few weeks. The big thing is, that everytime we tried to talk, there would be some problems with cellphones and such. Sometimes I couldn't contact her at all, because there was no connection to her phone or something, even though it was on and everything. It actually seems, that I'm the only one he really had problems with. And I mean technical problems. Sure, there were few other cases aswell. But everytime we talked, her phone would suddenly go boom and lose connection to me. One day her cellphone actually stopped working in the middle of our conversation and she had to get a new one. Fortunately, it was christmas time, so she got a new one quickly.
But that's not all, I did have "the feeling", that I shouldn't be talking to her, and someone (higher self) is trying to tell me something. I don't know, so let me continue the story.
So we had these "technical problems" with her cellphone, that no-one else seemed to have. It was just me and her. And she often called me from her sister's phone, that "Yeah, it's my phone again". She didn't have "talk time" (I don't know the proper word in English) left in her phone, so she couldn't call me. She always had depleted it just when I contacted her. And no, she did not try to avoid me. Really! I'm very sure about that, so let's forget it, allright?
Let's move on. She lives about 300 kilometers from my town, so we cannot meet everyday. Actually, we haven't, for like 3 years. But anyways, last week she actually visited Helsinki (the town I live in, it's in Finland). We were supposed to see each other, but somehow it just didn't work. I actually got this feeling in the morning, that someone tried to tell me "don't go there!". And her friend didn't want us to meet somehow. They where very much against the idea. So we didn't meet.
Today, I texted her like "hi! would you like to text with me this evening?". But of course, in Finnish. I also got this strange feeling, that "why in earth did I add "this evening" to the message. I still don't know, maybe it's nothing. Or maybe it is. Anyways, few moments later she responded me like "have we talked before?". Like she wouldn't know. And I was like "whaat?". So "she" called me. But when I answered, it was actually Alex (her boyfriend) talking. I was like wtf.
He asked me if I had talked to Julie before. I felt, that I should lie again, and pretended to be someone else, than I am. He believed it, and actually told me that they are still dating. Of course, he didn't mention that they had "broken up" or something, and I decided to shut up about it. Things went well, and later when he texted me with very angry tone, I told him, that I don't want to be a part of this conflict, just leave me alone.
And as I'm thinking now, it was a great thing, that I didn't really talk much to Julie. Or met her either. Man, Alex would tear him apart if he heard about it. Could these things happen by purpose? Of course, and I really feel that's the case.
So here I am. He tried to call me during this message, but I didn't answer. You've heard my story, and hopefully understood it. But here comes my big question:
What am I supposed to do? I feel that there is a very big catalyst going on for me, but I don't understand, what it is.
Should I be part of this conflict again, or just leave it alone? I mean, I'm very confused. And when I thought about this thing, Bring4th just popped up on my mind, and I really wanted to share this thing with you! Don't know why, really. As I have finished writing this, I actually feel alot better now.
But my big question still is, what am I supposed to do? Is this a great deal of catalyst offered to me? And how should I respond to it. I have tried to act so, that their relationship would be okay. But should I just walk away now?
I know there isn't much you can tell me, but I would still appreciate some responses, just to feel better about this thing. And I appreciate it alot, if you read through all this stuff. I quess I just wanted to share my pain with you. You guys are very important to me! Thanks alot for creating this magnificent forum, everyone!
no reason why you can't be friends with her when she's in a more harmonious place - good friendships should enhance lives, not complicate them, i'm sure you'll be there for her if she needs you in the future x