Eno, I commend you for having the courage to express your fears and doubts!
No one here is going to tell you what to believe. Ultimately, it will be up to you.
What we can do is help you work thru your fears and doubts, so that you can decide for yourself.
I don't think it's even important to decide on each item of information as to whether it is true or not. My suggestion is to accept what resonates, and whatever causes doubt or fear in you, either discard or put on the shelf for future reference. What seems fearful now might seem more acceptable a month from now or a year from now, after you've had time to assimilate these new ideas.
I would suggest that it's very likely old religious programming that is triggering your fears, rather than the subject matter itself.
For example, reincarnation is something I totally take for granted,
now. However, to someone coming from a fundamentalist religion like Christianity, the topic of reincarnation might be very scary! I had fears and doubts about reincarnation, even though I had past life memories - my Catholic upbringing was that strong!
It took me awhile to let go of that old religious programming.
I remember being very excited about the Law of One, as I read the books. I resonated very strongly with it. Virtually every word rang true for me! And yet, I felt a twinge of fear too, since the ideas were so radical, compared to my previous beliefs.
I was praying for guidance one day on the drive to work, and just as I was expressing my fears, I saw a UFO in the clouds! I felt a wave of love and comfort! This helped me alleviate my fears.
I fully realize that someone might say, "Ah but that was a trick, to get you to believe something false." but it didn't matter to me, because when I saw the UFO, I felt such love, that there was no doubt at all. There still isn't.
That is just my own personal experience.
Not everyone here on this forum accepts all of Ra's words 100%. This isn't a dogma or religion. You are free to accept any of it, or all of it, as you wish.
This alone is another factor that helped me: the very fact that Ra never imposed any doctrine, but was so respectful of free will. This was a huge thing to me, that confirmed the benevolent origin of the information.
Here is a suggestion: Maybe it would help to voice your doubts and fears in a safe place, here on Bring4th. You will probably find that you aren't alone! It might help to discuss these issues with others. No one will judge you and no one will demand blind belief in something you aren't comfortable with.
As an invitation to start that process, I am curious why you feel you must memorize rules. I don't know of any rules in the Law of One at all! What did you read that felt like rules?
Please feel free to share with us, if you wish!
Blessings on your journey!