i had a powerful experience last night and i didnt even realize it at the time.
i was talking to my friend and he had a book by a buddhist monk in his room. i picked it up and "accidentally" turned to a page and the page was about forgiveness. the first thing i read was about a european couple who went to the trial of 5 young men in south africa who and brutally and senselessly
killed their daughter. at the trial they stood up and said we came here to see that the same thing that happened to our daughter does not happen to you. wow what a statement. quite honestly if something happened to someone in my family like that im looking for vengence . so i take this in and then later im sitting in my room and this feeling comes over me of just how senseless vengence is. it was a feeling not a thought but for the moment i realized sometimes u just have to take the hit even though u would be justified so to speak in getting even with an other self . its kind of like u feel that even though u have caused me pain and aggravated me to no small extent i dont want to return that pain to you. so i guess my question is what would u do or what do u think u would do if someone committed a really grievous offense against your family. could u find it in your heart to forgive them. would u even want to? u get what i mean.
norral
i remember being really struck by the words of forgiveness of parents of young men who were murdered years ago in the uk, the kind of senseless, rascist, nasty attacks that come out of nowhere. the parents of those young men were so very, very wise.
i would like to think i would be able to forgive any offence... revenge seems like such a hollow concept, but it's difficult to imagine the reality of a tragic circumstance
i imagine that acceptance of the offence would be a stepping stone to forgiveness, and that acceptance may be the harder part
interesting post norral
I personally choose not to reflect violence or negativity in any sort of way. Not saying I'm a perfectly even-tempered person who never slips into negativity, but when I'm consciously aware and choosing how to act, I would not seek revenge.
Hate breeds hate. I believe it's up to everyone on an individual level to choose whether to continue of cycle of hate or stop it in its tracks.
Holding onto anger has never been of benefit to me...it just makes me sick inside. I think it would take me quite a while to get over that kind of offense, but holding onto it would only make it hurt worse. I would like to think that I could forgive them, though I'm sure the pain would not fade for a long time.
I have never been in the situation of having to forgive someone else for murdering a member of my family, thank God... but I have been betrayed by people I trusted (or I felt they betrayed me... maybe I betrayed myself by trusting in them, who knows?)
Anyway I think the whole point of forgiveness is becoming whole again, in a sense that you take your energy back. The energy that is focussed on feelings of revenge, of constantly thinking about the betrayal or other misdemenours that have been committed by others... if you choose revenge and un-forgiveness then it occupies a large part of your time and energy.
It is very liberating to let go and, by forgiving, gaining back that energy. I don't know any better way to put it here, I hope you understand how I mean it
If you can't accept the situation that you are presented with, then it will continue to manifest in some form until you finally understand, accept, and forgive. This isn't to say that in the next lifetime someone is going to kill another family member. Rather I imagine that if everything is a reflection of the self, if you hold non-acceptance/forgiveness within you, the lessons will continue to manifest in various forms until they are learned. So the experience of the social complex is a reflection of the lessons needed for the social complex as a whole.
If you find harmony within you, harmony will surround you. Forgiving and having compassion will literally change the experience of the society. This is the purpose of a wanderer, for which is so beautifully described by Ra as the anchoring of light into the planetary vibration.
I also agree with ahktu that in the past when I held onto negativity it just made me feel pent up inside. I have literally felt a load being lifted up off of me when I forgave others that I resented for the longest time.
dear Lorna, austin , ahktu , meerie and derek. thanks for the wonderful responses. there is much contained in them to think about. also the willingness i see to be forgiving is inspiring to me .
i have decided to not try and take on the really big issues like forgiving someone who has committed a grievous offense against my family. i honestly dont know how i would respond. instead i want to apply these thoughts to my everyday life which i can handle much better. in the sense that i will be more accepting of people just as they are. people are not really going to change or become who we want them to be. so accepting them as is without condemnation is to me a form of everyday forgiveness. and it makes the vibe between us and others much better.
your brother
norral
[quote='Derek ~' pid='31387' dateline='1299695671']
If you can't accept the situation that you are presented with, then it will continue to manifest in some form until you finally understand, accept, and forgive. This isn't to say that in the next lifetime someone is going to kill another family member. Rather I imagine that if everything is a reflection of the self, if you hold non-acceptance/forgiveness within you, the lessons will continue to manifest in various forms until they are learned. So the experience of the social complex is a reflection of the lessons needed for the social complex as a whole.
If you find harmony within you, harmony will surround you. Forgiving and having compassion will literally change the experience of the society. This is the purpose of a wanderer, for which is so beautifully described by Ra as the anchoring of light into the planetary vibration.
I agree with Derek. When I was a lot younger I felt as Meerie said betrayed many times by loved ones and I´d suffer a lot because I won’t say anything but I will be bombarded with negative and revenge thoughts for a while and then it will go…and after I´ll pass into the guilty feeling… now is different and I found myself telling over a period of time thank you for the experience as I´ve learnt so much from it.
I don’t know what I would do Norral, I probably cry to death...or fight to live. I try not to think anymore of revenge or judging and think more that Karma will take care of that…
Lots of love brother
(03-09-2011, 02:47 PM)norral Wrote: [ -> ]i have decided to not try and take on the really big issues like forgiving someone who has committed a grievous offense against my family. i honestly dont know how i would respond. instead i want to apply these thoughts to my everyday life which i can handle much better.
Dear brother,
I think you nailed it there!
We don't know who these people are. These two might be couple of Wanderers graduating from 4D into the light and programming for themselves an ultimate trial, like forgiving some one who killed their child. We have our own lessons, but stories as such a very inspring throughout the world.
Love and light!
(03-09-2011, 02:47 PM)norral Wrote: [ -> ]dear Lorna, austin , ahktu , meerie and derek. thanks for the wonderful responses. there is much contained in them to think about. also the willingness i see to be forgiving is inspiring to me .
i have decided to not try and take on the really big issues like forgiving someone who has committed a grievous offense against my family. i honestly dont know how i would respond. instead i want to apply these thoughts to my everyday life which i can handle much better. in the sense that i will be more accepting of people just as they are. people are not really going to change or become who we want them to be. so accepting them as is without condemnation is to me a form of everyday forgiveness. and it makes the vibe between us and others much better.
your brother
norral
Yes the bigger issues are obviously the hardest parts to handle. For me, the way I find acceptance is to understand that in the eyes of oneness, that person committing the act is literally you. It isn't something outside of yourself..it is not an enemy. You must accept the self or you cannot move forward by denying who you are.
If you focus not on the act, but the understanding that it is an other-self, a naive student, you can more easily accept their actions and find comfort. They're learning. Because in reality, if say you were a wanderer from a hostile planet, you too possibly committed murder. In the end it's irrelevant, because all is one.
Someday wanderers from planet Earth will possibly venture out to other hostile planets in service and look around with horror. If they only knew! But then they'll awaken and remember...
I would add that yes, your acceptance may not immediately change someone, but it is changing the planet as a whole. When viewing the larger picture if we all practiced acceptance and forgiveness the planet could drastically change in the short-term. If you inject love into the planetary vibration, others will develop love faster.
There was a similar instance in which a lady went to court to face the man who raped and killed her daughter (not the original hearing, it was a few years later). The perpetrator was expecting much anger from her, yet she stood up and stated how she had forgiven him.
He broke down in tears.
Years later - they are friends. He has filled a hole in her life, as she has his.
Amazing courage and strength. Amazing.