04-01-2011, 12:52 AM
Let Me Start...To Finish. Let Me Begin... To Make You Understand. Give Me A Chance To Walk.. So I Can Learn To Run. Allow Me To Breathe.... To Take The Breaths That Count. Let Me Go... So I Can Learn To Move On. Give Me A Chance To Prove To Myself... That No Matter How Much s*** Goes Wrong, I'm Strong Enough To Keep Going...
Just a little bit about my background, im young and i know this but my age is nothing compared to what ive experienced, im currently nineteen years of age and i just got out of high school, my childhood was anything but ordinary.. i was born in Liverpool England and lived their for almost sixteen years where my life took a drastic turn, my parents divorced when i was a kid , ive always had difficulties getting along with other playmates during my childhood not to mention my own flesh and blood, i would spend hour after hour sitting in the woods alone just thinking about the world, why are things the way they are? etc. I came to notice my "difference" at a pretty young age.. one of my first wake up calls believe it or not happened when i was seven, from what i can remember i was sitting at the kitchen table whilst my mother was making my lunch and she asked me who i was talking too? and i responded "your granddad". To me he was very real, on the other hand my mother was a little spooked at the time since her grandfather had died many years before i was born, their was several incidents like this taking place shortly after which led my mother to believe i suffered from some kind of mental disorder which came back negative, nevertheless this was just the beginning.
At sixteen i moved to the States as my mum remarried, i had been more or less very distant with both of my parents for awhile now, i felt extremely alienated and alone, i suffered with depression for a little over a year and attempted suicide on several occasions and had failed miserably ( obviously ) lol. As i grew i became very philosophical, i loved to draw and paint, i loved to sketch and write poetry, i had always wanted to go to Egypt .. like i felt something drawing me in but not fully sure why. Being stressed to follow Christianity i had become very atheistic it just dident click so i started studying pantheism, i saw nature as somewhat magical and it wasnt long after that i came to stumble across the Ra material which i took as "remembering what i already knew" and id like to thank Ra and Carla for bringing fourth the information as it has helped me awaken to what and who i truly am.
We are who we are because we made ourselves this way.. And the only way to truely be happy is to feel who you are and what you want, not to think about it. Surround yourself with people that are worth it.. we're human we all use each other in some way or another.. But everyone has to hold their own weight.. for every bit you take you need to give, and understand that those who will never be happy no matter what they have... they will never be satisfied even with their greatest accomplishments, and at the end of the day they will never have more than what they started with.
Over the past few years ive become more harmonious than i could have possibly ever imagined, my life and own study has led me to believe i am indeed a "wanderer" il sit out at night and just gaze at the stars knowing home is out their.. but i have a job to do here first =) i love serving others .. it brings me happiness and ive come to realize how beautiful life can be if you care to notice something so pure enough to allow the light to shine its way in.
My love To You All
As Always
The Messenger Of The Creator <3
Just a little bit about my background, im young and i know this but my age is nothing compared to what ive experienced, im currently nineteen years of age and i just got out of high school, my childhood was anything but ordinary.. i was born in Liverpool England and lived their for almost sixteen years where my life took a drastic turn, my parents divorced when i was a kid , ive always had difficulties getting along with other playmates during my childhood not to mention my own flesh and blood, i would spend hour after hour sitting in the woods alone just thinking about the world, why are things the way they are? etc. I came to notice my "difference" at a pretty young age.. one of my first wake up calls believe it or not happened when i was seven, from what i can remember i was sitting at the kitchen table whilst my mother was making my lunch and she asked me who i was talking too? and i responded "your granddad". To me he was very real, on the other hand my mother was a little spooked at the time since her grandfather had died many years before i was born, their was several incidents like this taking place shortly after which led my mother to believe i suffered from some kind of mental disorder which came back negative, nevertheless this was just the beginning.
At sixteen i moved to the States as my mum remarried, i had been more or less very distant with both of my parents for awhile now, i felt extremely alienated and alone, i suffered with depression for a little over a year and attempted suicide on several occasions and had failed miserably ( obviously ) lol. As i grew i became very philosophical, i loved to draw and paint, i loved to sketch and write poetry, i had always wanted to go to Egypt .. like i felt something drawing me in but not fully sure why. Being stressed to follow Christianity i had become very atheistic it just dident click so i started studying pantheism, i saw nature as somewhat magical and it wasnt long after that i came to stumble across the Ra material which i took as "remembering what i already knew" and id like to thank Ra and Carla for bringing fourth the information as it has helped me awaken to what and who i truly am.
We are who we are because we made ourselves this way.. And the only way to truely be happy is to feel who you are and what you want, not to think about it. Surround yourself with people that are worth it.. we're human we all use each other in some way or another.. But everyone has to hold their own weight.. for every bit you take you need to give, and understand that those who will never be happy no matter what they have... they will never be satisfied even with their greatest accomplishments, and at the end of the day they will never have more than what they started with.
Over the past few years ive become more harmonious than i could have possibly ever imagined, my life and own study has led me to believe i am indeed a "wanderer" il sit out at night and just gaze at the stars knowing home is out their.. but i have a job to do here first =) i love serving others .. it brings me happiness and ive come to realize how beautiful life can be if you care to notice something so pure enough to allow the light to shine its way in.
My love To You All
As Always
The Messenger Of The Creator <3
I even listen more to "a brother" myself (being, more or less, heterosexual female). Maybe I should ponder that attitude...