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Hi, Im Lissa, Im 42 and from Australia. This is my story about discovering my wanderer herritage.

I, along with most of us, have always known I wasnt from around here! I remember being very young, perhaps around 10 and looking up at the stars and thinking 'why cant i go home?' & this turned into the 'ok guys the jokes over come and get me' statement in my teens. I move constantly especially throughout my teens and up to my lat 30's it is only in the last 5 years that I have managed to stay in one home longer than 6-12mths.

I have always had a very communal type of idea for living. It has been a desire for a long time to create a community where everyone is helping each other, where food is grown and shared, where no money is needed, where people look out for each other, where a community helps to raise its children. This has been a very deep desire for a long time. I also have been always drawn to healing, but never found the modality that fits me, I still havent but I continue to search. I just feel like I am looking for a type of healing that isnt available yet.. very strange.. Hopefully I will find it soon.

I have had many many paranormal & ufo type experiences throughout my life, and I have always been drawn to anything & everything sci fi. As I got older and found myself on the spiritual seeking path (this started around 17 for me in the 80's) when my freinds would talk of past lives and feeling drawn to different eras of human history, I would draw a blank. I was drawn to other worldly societies. the only two periods of time that I think I could possibly have had lives in on this planet was during the time of Jesus & during atlantis, however I have heard theories that the atlantis civilisation may have occured on mars, which would make sense to my off world feelings.

As for the Jesus period, even from childhood in sunday school, I tried to tell the teacher the bible was innacurate LOL. This would turn out to be a driving nagging force that would plague me for many years into my late 20's, early 30's because I just knew that it didnt tell the whole truth, & it drove me nuts. I eventually had to resign myself to the fact they werent ready to hear it and to accept that. What's the bet I was at the council of niccea? Blush

Anyway I digress, I have always been known in my circle of freinds as the 'weird one' or had the comment made 'dont worry bout Lissa, she's not from this planet' always made in jest by closest freinds. And thankgod for those 3 or 4 ladies who have been my rocks for the last 20 something years.. It is strange to be freinds with them because they are in no way spiritual, are in no way seeking any greater truth, you would think that freinds that close would have similar interests, yet each one of us is so totally different from the other but somehow it works.

Other than these 3 or 4 close freinds, I never felt like I fit in, I was either too loud, to positive, to different, to 'out there' for most people to handle me. I do think I may be from the pleadian system, this is one system that has always had some form of magnetism for me, but I have not felt compelled to delved into this area yet, so far the "i think i might be" feeling has been enough for me. Plus, my freinds accept me so far in my weirdness, I do not need to add "hey I just found out im from the Pleadies" to the mix LOL... although I am sure they would just smile and shake their heads at me and accept it anyway. Angel

God bless my parents because I have challenged them in unconditional love every single day since I was born LOL My parents had me when they were in their 40's, so they are in their 80's now, can you imagine the challenge of this generation in having not only a 'new agey' type of daughter but a 'new agey starperson' daughter to boot!! Poor souls.. They have challenged me also and even though we dont always see eye to eye, they were the only ones who didnt make me feel unloved. I am very grateful I chose them.

I have felt the deep sorrow at the state of the human race, I have sat and cried rivers of tears in utter bewilderment at how people can treat each other the way they do. I have never understood it, until recently, which has brought me some relief and comfort. I still well up and I still am deeply emotional and the tears come at the slightest display of love or joy and at the merest display of anger or intolerance. A rainbow can make me weep with joy as easily as a terrorist attack can make me cry with sorrow. This is something other people dont understand either.

My closest freinds used to tell me that I amazed them with my capacity to see the light and the good in even the most seemingly horrible person, I have no answer as to how I did this, I just knew that their outter actions were not reflecting the inner truth of who they were. However, the bombardment and increase over the last few years of negative energies in this world has left me numb. I realised that I have not been able to find that hope within myself even in the face of darkness for for the last 7 or 8 years and I have been through some deep depression periods, unable to fully bring myself out of it. Nearing the surface, but never quite reaching it.

However I think I may be on the up once more, the last 12 months has brought some amazing new insights & have seen me work incredibly hard at remembering and aligning my energies & the wonderful sycronicity of the universe has brought me to places such as this which show me that my private thoughts are mirrored by others out there.

The biggest catalyst for my darkest hours has been the worry that not enough are waking up, this burdened me for quite a while, I have always felt I had some message to give, something akin to an alarm clock within me. Some days it would take all my strength to not shake the people I would be talking with and tell them to wake up, its all a dream!.. I had no idea where this desire came from, except that it had something to do with my spiritual reason for being here but I have yet to figure out exactly what the message is that I so desperately need to give to someone.

That being said however, there is a peace descending on me of late, whether it is my higher self becoming aware of the nearing of the time when people will wake up or whether it is that I missed my opportunity and I am simply becoming ok with that, I do not know.

As you can see I am not an eloquent writer! In reading this back it seems I just wandered from one thought to another.. oh well I am a wanderer after all.

Oh and I dont know how many of you have taken the little quiz in the wanderers handbook.. (im only up to chapter two lol) but i took it and i scored 85, so I guess that confirms I am definately not from around here Tongue

fairyfarmgirl

I thank you, EnchantedWanderer for sharing your story with us. I am honored.

Also, I find your writing quite eloquent!

I too struggled with the "conventional" Christian Dogma and was the kid everyone rolled their eyes about when I asked a question. I too felt very very strongly that the Bible had been edited and the story that is now contained therein is very much out of alignment with the truth.

My question is and still is "where are all the women?" Did the men just procreate asexually? Smile That questions got me kicked out of Sunday School. Along with "God is a Woman" and "Jesus lives on in the flesh and spirit now and forever because he and Mary had kids!"

Many of us were there from the beginning and as we link up with our soul and become full-sensoried humans (this is our natural state--- to be connected to the source of light and love and to have full use of our brains and energy systems) the truth is uncovered.

fairyfarmgirl
(05-07-2009, 10:50 AM)Enchantedwanderer Wrote: [ -> ]I also have been always drawn to healing, but never found the modality that fits me, I still havent but I continue to search. I just feel like I am looking for a type of healing that isnt available yet.. very strange.. Hopefully I will find it soon.

Hello Smile

thanks for the story, I still feel a little too shy to tell mine haha Confused

I myself am not very expereinced with magick, but healing and stuff like that, I try to use on my friends on family, ie only people i trust.

ALL of my methodologies are all made up by myself, or lots of little bits i've heard her and there. The concept I nonly recently discovered is called "chaos magick"

I used to always think it was a sort of dark magick as chaos isn't a particuarily positive sounding word. What it actually means is the cutting and sticking together of what systems of healing/magick you come across. and you do not have to be static in each approach, they can all be different every time. I'm probably not making much sence here, but the main point of what I'm saying is try not to look for a specific system, rather develop your own personal one, the one that you havent invented.

I hope this helps, otherwise tell me to shush Smile

Personally I found this lesson a pretty important one.

Loads and loads of Love and Light.
I just smiled and smiled as I read your entry here. Very nice.

I am struck by just how much you trust what you know, and those impulses within you. I have similar impulses, but I learned early to question them, to distrust them. Where/when I grew up, I learned that I had better try to fit in, even though it was obvious to me and everyone else that I never would.

I now wonder if fitting in is possibly a part of my mission...that I have to be seen as inhabiting some recognizable and "acceptable" space, so that the people I need to talk to will give at least a bit of attention. No solid answers to that one, yet. But I do envy how easy you are in your life and your world.

Thank you for sharing your experience. And stop apologizing for your writing. It reflects you perfectly.
I too share your feelings about a better type of community. I hope that sometime our current lifetimes this sort of thing will be possible here on Earth.

I was almost ruined by forced Christian dogma. I also just knew that something was wrong with the version I was hearing as a child. It was actually very offensive to me.

I'm glad your finding peace. We're all here for this lifetime at least so we might as well enjoy our time in this part of creation.

Don't worry about missing the opportunity to help people. They are our brothers and sisters, but they don't think in the same way and can never understand us. Personally, I'll let the big time players get the ball moving on awakening people enmass. I'm just doing the little everyday things to spead happiness and point people in a little better direction. I'm also standing by to help if things start getting wierd around here. That seems to be my place.

Brian