I'm currently swinging in and out of short, acute depressive episodes, and when I analyze them I keep coming back to this ideal vision of me, living in a big red brick house with all my friends and family, studying, talking, learning from each other and just enjoying each others' company while the snow falls and accumulates outside. I've been there in dreams and met people whose love for me made me regret waking up. It crushes me that I can't have this. It crushes me that humans choose to live as separately as they do. I am currently saving all the money I can just so I can have this someday, and it breaks my heart that I probably won't realize my vision for decades, if ever.
I reassure myself that I may be able to create this without money once I've passed, but that just feels like a cop-out. I want to be Home now. I don't want to be distant from the people I love. But that's not how this place works. Anybody else want to talk about homesickness? If you have it at all? How you deal with it?
(08-09-2011, 07:03 AM)StormShadow Wrote: [ -> ]I'm currently swinging in and out of short, acute depressive episodes, and when I analyze them I keep coming back to this ideal vision of me, living in a big red brick house with all my friends and family, studying, talking, learning from each other and just enjoying each others' company while the snow falls and accumulates outside.
Wow! this is my "vision" of an ideal life too (okay, I don't necessarily need the snow, but I def dream of living in a big house in the countryside surrounded by loved ones).
You are not alone in this, my friend.
Much love !
To answer your question, much of my homesickness has been relieved by finding people whom I resonate with, here at b4th. Even if we connect only thru the online-mode.
i have that vision minus the snow! i want all my friends living near me in Hawaii.
(08-09-2011, 07:03 AM)StormShadow Wrote: [ -> ]I'm currently swinging in and out of short, acute depressive episodes, and when I analyze them I keep coming back to this ideal vision of me, living in a big red brick house with all my friends and family, studying, talking, learning from each other and just enjoying each others' company while the snow falls and accumulates outside. I've been there in dreams and met people whose love for me made me regret waking up. It crushes me that I can't have this. It crushes me that humans choose to live as separately as they do. I am currently saving all the money I can just so I can have this someday, and it breaks my heart that I probably won't realize my vision for decades, if ever.
I reassure myself that I may be able to create this without money once I've passed, but that just feels like a cop-out. I want to be Home now. I don't want to be distant from the people I love. But that's not how this place works. Anybody else want to talk about homesickness? If you have it at all? How you deal with it?
maybe realization that what you speak about is happening every night in what you call your 'dreams', but actually are happenings in time/space (astral plane) would help a bit ?
if you are cleaned spiritually, vibrationally high and sensitive enough, you could find that these are as sharp as what you live through your day. this can be a blessing, and a curse at the same time however.
I get depressed lately because I dont know where I belong. I feel completely separated from whoever my "spiritual family" is, and I can't even remember who they are so I dont know where to find them. All I know is that I feel alone and kind of abandoned - although I probably chose it coming into this life so I just try and stay strong knowing its not going to be forever.
I also have a dream of living in like a commune style place in the forest with people who I love, and who love me, and we would grow vegetables and be fully self-sustained, and we would help each other - it's very 60's I know lol, but it would be such a beautiful way of life... someday maybe!
(08-09-2011, 04:51 PM)Nyu Wrote: [ -> ]I get depressed lately because I dont know where I belong. I feel completely separated from whoever my "spiritual family" is, and I can't even remember who they are so I dont know where to find them. All I know is that I feel alone and kind of abandoned - although I probably chose it coming into this life so I just try and stay strong knowing its not going to be forever.
I also have a dream of living in like a commune style place in the forest with people who I love, and who love me, and we would grow vegetables and be fully self-sustained, and we would help each other - it's very 60's I know lol, but it would be such a beautiful way of life... someday maybe!
As long as drugs are involved. They really do bring people together like nothing else does.
well you guys, we could all do it together if you wanna start a commune. then we'd have these debates IRL.
We just need to be in the same country first! haha. How awesome would it be to have group meditation sessions, and grow the group consciousness in general! Maybe after the transition opportunities will begin to arise for this to happen?
(08-09-2011, 05:57 PM)kycahi Wrote: [ -> ]I will be joyful to return home and tell my stories, which I will strive every day to make interesting!"
You know what's strange about this is that when I was really little I used to confuse my Mom by telling her how happy my friends were going to be when I woke up from this dream and had all these things I learned to tell them. I was convinced that all this was a dream and I was going to wake up someday. The same message came through again during my peak experience, years later, when I got the message that "coming into life is just like waking up from a dream."
Which reminds me, has anyone else seen auras? And if so, have you seen the little red lines that come out of our fingertips? What the heck ARE those?
If waking up from a dream reminds you of red lines coming out of fingertips, maybe there is a clue there.
(08-09-2011, 10:26 PM)zenmaster Wrote: [ -> ]If waking up from a dream reminds you of red lines coming out of fingertips, maybe there is a clue there.
Not the dream; it was the memory of my peak experience that jogged that back into memory. Some years back I "tasted" intelligent infinity. That's not my term for the experience; that came from my Wilcock reading. The red lines were a surprise; the auras not so surprising but I was thrilled to be able to see them. The telepathic connection and the messages I got were a pretty big surprise. I communicated not only with discarnates but with a girl sitting across the room from me who I heard later went through the same experience as me.
(08-09-2011, 05:04 PM)Oceania Wrote: [ -> ]well you guys, we could all do it together if you wanna start a commune. then we'd have these debates IRL.
hey guys, I will open a thread called "the red brick house" in the meetup section, then we can all do brainstorming and put to gether ideas on how and where to start our commune, okay?
(08-10-2011, 02:15 AM)Meerie Wrote: [ -> ] (08-09-2011, 05:04 PM)Oceania Wrote: [ -> ]well you guys, we could all do it together if you wanna start a commune. then we'd have these debates IRL.
hey guys, I will open a thread called "the red brick house" in the meetup section, then we can all do brainstorming and put to gether ideas on how and where to start our commune, okay?
What?!
YES! AWESOME
Away on holiday soon, but have subscribed and will follow this great idea.
Regarding 'home sickness', I have suffered from that at times in my life, until by experience I gradually learned to feel some self-confidence as a wanderer. 99% of the time I now feel comfortable being here, and appreciative of the madness of it all.
dear stormshadow
welcome to the club my brother. many many of us here have felt intense homesickness.
there have been times when i have said screw this crap i just dont want to be here anymore.
i find that it kind of comes and goes on its own i dont have that much control over it. if u want to find
out more about it check our dolores canon of you tube . she is a past life regressionist and has encountered
many many people who are in the same boat who just dont want to be here. remember we volunteered to come
here to help . we also took on tremendous limitation when we came here. we were much freer where we came from
we didnt get sick or age or any of the other limitations of this reality. the one comfort that i can offer u is that home
exists inside of you. and the veil is thinning. every day it gets a little easier to access the home that dwells within each
one of us. so in a sense the capabilities that we had before we came here are gradually being restored to us. i expect the
next year to be a real doozy so expect exciting things and discoveries to come your way
norral
well said, Norral.
It seems like I've wanted to go home since I got here. My artwork is the main thing that keeps me going. It lets me convey any image I see in my head and share it with others. Developing my psychic gifts has also helped. It has opened up wide opportunities to be of service, and being able to help people on a consistent basis reminds me why I came here in the first place. Still, every time I look up at the stars, I feel a powerful, deep longing that nearly brings tears to my eyes. I can only hope that one day that longing is fulfilled.
I didn't draw this pic (I wish I could paint like this), but it really reminds me of "home." Even the weird atmosphere is accurate.
http://ahktu.deviantart.com/favourites/4...3#/d3kqmgv
Interesting find ahktu. I haven't yet found images that remind me of any past lives, though I do get glimpses in my mind at times.
I'm sure our longings will be fulfilled. I get visions of cartoon worlds, so maybe our memories aren't too far off.
Thanks norral!
As a matter of fact, I HAVE seen Miss Cannon's stuff on YouTube. Spot-on.
I don't mind getting sick or aging so much (oddly, having the flu gives me GREAT dreams) I just don't like being around these people anymore. I don't understand them at all. Unless I can find some way to deal with their nonsense, I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up hating them, and I don't want to hate anybody.
But I am looking forward to whatever the next few years hold. Really want something to happen, even if just to shake things up a bit.
(08-13-2011, 02:29 AM)norral Wrote: [ -> ]dear stormshadow
welcome to the club my brother. many many of us here have felt intense homesickness.
there have been times when i have said screw this crap i just dont want to be here anymore.
i find that it kind of comes and goes on its own i dont have that much control over it. if u want to find
out more about it check our dolores canon of you tube . she is a past life regressionist and has encountered
many many people who are in the same boat who just dont want to be here. remember we volunteered to come
here to help . we also took on tremendous limitation when we came here. we were much freer where we came from
we didnt get sick or age or any of the other limitations of this reality. the one comfort that i can offer u is that home
exists inside of you. and the veil is thinning. every day it gets a little easier to access the home that dwells within each
one of us. so in a sense the capabilities that we had before we came here are gradually being restored to us. i expect the
next year to be a real doozy so expect exciting things and discoveries to come your way
norral
(08-09-2011, 07:03 AM)StormShadow Wrote: [ -> ]I want to be Home now. I don't want to be distant from the people I love. But that's not how this place works. Anybody else want to talk about homesickness? If you have it at all? How you deal with it?
I've suffered from homesickness intensively. Mostly because I remember "home". It's kind of impossible, or non human, to not to miss it then. Then I used to blame this world for being such and such, and judging myself for being such and such. Nowdays it is easier and missing doesn't come in the same intensity or frequency as it used to. Hopefully it is due the inner working I've put into the self. Each day. Just wanted to tell you that. That it's worth to start working, and not only with the inner work, but also with outer work (you know that serving part they keep naging about
). The change doesn't happen over a night. Actually it takes time, but looking back I am stunned over how fast it all happened. Nowdays I can't say that I don't want to be home as I would be lying, but I am not obsessed by this thought as I used to be. And I also feel this duty/honour to be here, and for trying. Regarding love - I am starting to see love in each that I meet. I am starting to realize that you are not distant from people. But I won't be lying to you. I do have the thoughts sometimes about - can I ever find that love that I remember right here and right now? Is it even possible? And I do get ashamed of myself sometimes when I can't find it despite that I am surrounded by love. And I do wonder why it has to be that difficult sometimes, when it used to be so easy. But I am trying. And working. Hopefully doing my best.
(08-15-2011, 04:00 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]But I am trying. And working. Hopefully doing my best.
In the end, that is all that matters, Ankh. It all comes down to whether we consciously do our best to perform our duties to the One Infinite Creator, irrespective of the path we choose (I guess).
However, I might change my line of thought, in a jiffy, if you put in a room with a big King Cobra
(08-15-2011, 09:29 AM)Confused Wrote: [ -> ]In the end, that is all that matters, Ankh. It all comes down to whether we consciously do our best to perform our duties to the One Infinite Creator, irrespective of the path we choose (I guess).
However, I might change my line of thought, in a jiffy, if you put in a room with a big King Cobra
Yes, you're right. Not sure I understood that thing about Cobra though :S
(08-15-2011, 10:49 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]Yes, you're right. Not sure I understood that thing about Cobra though Confused
I meant to say that at that point, I cannot see the ONE in the Cobra, but feel only fear. I will not be able to feel love in that instant of terror.
Ah, you are not alone. Opening it up all the way to the central sun in situations like this is for guys like Jesus and alike. I am not there yet either, brother.
I used to have a fear of certain bugs like roaches. But I think that's gone for the most part.
