Bring4th

Hey how yall' doing? My name is Avocado (yum) but some call me Alex. I was going to post sooner but I decided to wait till I familiarized myself more with the Law of One, but I've been feeling depression on the periphery so I decided it would be best to speak now. I must say that I do not know if I am a wanderer. I may or may not be. I do know that I am very grateful for what I am, I am awake.

Background: Interstellar Trip to the Spirit World

Most of my childhood was mostly irrelevant in regards to spirituality due to the mundane nature of my experiences however something occurred early on that still effects me and I'm still trying to make sense of so I won't mention it at this time. The fact that I was a shy kid could be important as it made life harder.

Up until high school (about 08'/09') nothing noteworthy had happened. I do remember feeling a pleasant pressure that I could induce at will located on my forehead, I will elaborate further in a moment.

I enjoyed summer 09' as an agnostic finally contemplating reality. Looking back I can see how life was vectored toward a spiritual awakening.

The first year of college passed and nothing important happened until I tried some mushrooms in the spring of 10'. In all honesty it wasn't the ingestion of the mushrooms that set me off, it was the reading about the psychedelic experience that was important here. The trip wasn't anything special. I was open to entities being "real" and compiled a personal study guide to prepare for my trip bearing the title: Interstellar Trip to the Spirit World. This open mindedness came from my lingering imagination that hung in the background after childhood I assume. By the end of the summer I had taken my fair share of psychedelic medicines and learned about DMT and the pineal gland. This is where I had made the connection regarding the pressure felt on my forehead. I should mention that I owe a lot to deoxy.org, for once in my life it was as if I was learning something important. I didn't understand what the website was about but I was determined to find out, and so I did...

Dark Night

The website I mentioned, coupled with the ingestion of those medicines facilitated the opening of my spirit and unsurprisingly lead to a depression lasting roughly 7 months, or the entire school year. By the end of it I understood the suffering I went through.

Awakening

"I am a mystic" This was the thought that awakened me. I don't even know what a mystic is really, I just thought that all people have innate psychedelic beauty/power (hard to describe). A huge portion of negative subconscious beliefs must have been washed away at this instance because after this moment my anger toward skeptics was lifted and I became a believer, mentally AND emotionally. I am very grateful this had happened.

How I felt: I felt ALIVE! I had an unlimited amounts of energy and was motivated to do just about everything. I felt animated, like the real Alex was finally coming through. I could talk to people and carry on a conversation with ease. I was a little worried that it would "ware off" but after two weeks this [fell away. I would go though a summer semester of school to "prove myself worthy" to the man paying for my education, my father. I was happy to do it and finally felt good about myself. By the end of the semester, most of my energy was used up studying math. It seemed like it was waring off. I was introduced to the seeker website montalk whose information proved invaluable to me. After learning of negative manipulation I felt I had been living in ignorant bliss for a few months.


Some confusion:

Now this next part is why I am confused. Why did the energy ware off? I have learned so much (and so little) since my awakening, so why did I loose motivation and fail miserably at school this semester? I felt like my "animation" was leaving me and that I should put a lot of time into improving myself to gain the energy back so I'm not so antisocial and maintain the confidence to fair well in school. I wanted to do things that were healthy for me, read about this kind of stuff, meditate, hang out in nature. I lost motivation to study chemistry. I don't know if school is right for me anymore but this kind of thinking has scared my ego out of its skin. I feel like I could enter another Dark Night, but I want to be brave and harbor altruistic intentions to lift myself from this circumstance via synchronistic help. I think the main thing is the antisocial part. I don't know what to talk about with anyone anymore, the only thing on my mind does not comply with their reality. Mundane subjects bore me, so people bore me, but I love them. I know everything is as it should be and this is an opportunity for growth. I'm out here doing the best I can trying to stay positive. This next week will be interesting, I don't know what to do next but I intend to manifest a job/look for one. Maybe I can get back into school next semester and change my major to something I'm passionate about or maybe I can better serve creation in some other way.

One last note: DMT/pineal gland/third eye chakra have been important to me. I put a lot of interest in the subject and got a lot out of it. I can tell the eye has been activated and would like to describe what is going on in another post to get some feedback.

I hope this post helps someone in anyway and adds to the body of spiritual awakenings, it helped me to just get it out.
I love you all and thank you for listening.

Avacados are delicious. Stay in school. Welcome . I enjoyed reading your story. Stay in school. If graduating is considered failure right now, the I suggest you fail with a bang .

listen to some solfeggio radio! http://528records.com/radio/ecstatic_528_dance_music

sorry, i can't stop listening to this. but it has healing properties.

i like your name. don't force yourself to stay in school if it's really not what you want. i wasted time walking the halls. what i should have been doing was thinking of a career. getting practical education on a job. but some people can do the school thing. i can't. i want to DO stuff. not read about things i don't wanna do. i love archeology. i'd really like to dig in egypt. sit under the stars in the sand.

(11-05-2011, 12:35 AM)Oceania Wrote: [ -> ]I love archeology. i'd really like to dig in egypt. sit under the stars in the sand.

Holy Cheezburgers!! A Kindred Spirit I'd love to do that also. Exspecially in Egypt(I love Egypt) -Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus

we should start a thread!

For sure

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And welcome Avacodo I think you'll probably like it here. I do.
And ocean do you mean archeology or Egypt or sitting in sand? Lol (you were probably joking but jokingly speaking?)

i mean all of the above. i'll go and start the thread and we can talk there so we don't cramp Avocado's thread.

Avocado

Love your name, love your profile pic! Love your story. Thank you for sharing. We all have ups and downs, ride the wave. I agree with 3DMonkey, stay in school! My biggest regret in life is not finishing college when I was young enough to enjoy the experience. And as 3D said, if graduating is failing, then go fail BIG!

Love and light!

Hi Alex,

You seem to have a very good grasp of your circumstances. I particularly enjoyed reading the word vector with regard to finding ones spiritual path :¬)

I have a Masters degree, and my partner has a Bachelors degree. Neither of us have used that knowledge, at all, in our adult life. My employment has been based upon skills I taught myself, when following my passion and my heart. My partner wishes she never went to university, and instead wishes she took an apprenticeship in something hands on, like carpentry. School is not always the answer.

I would recommend finishing whatever educational level you have started, and then have a long think (feel) about where you'd like to go in your life.

On the subject of energy - it wears off when you feel you're not in alignment with what you actually want. Things become difficult to do. There are also cycles (including astrological) and biorhythms than effect our state of being, so one may not always be running at 100% bliss. We are human, after all (at the moment) :¬)

Follow your heart. It will never lead you astray.

Your experiences and questions are common as a result of awakening. To give you a metaphysical take of what is happening, awakening is always accompanied by blissful energy influxes that fade. It's possible to remain in a peaceful state though, which only requires the understanding that the only thing you need, can be found in the moment within. Being content is a conscious choice that requires honesty and self-reflection. You're being asked to reflect on who you really are, and what contributions you truly would like to offer.

If you're not careful enough to remain positive, it feels as if you're sinking back to a previous lower state, but your new level of consciousness is simply being required to move on up through the lower energies and reflect the self in relation to those energies in the light of this new found consciousness. Your values are being redefined, and that's a good thing.

I've been through college and I can relate to your concerns. I've had a lot of discussions with my generation (I'm 29) on this topic, as it is a growing problem. What I've gathered is this...Pushing people through college is a major social issue that is creating a lot of lost souls, and a lot of personal debt. The fact that your father is paying for it may create a feeling of obligation towards him, and you may not feel in control of your life down the road because you'll feel the need to "make something of yourself" to please him. Most people haven't even truly discovered themselves at that point in their lives because they have been sold a false reality based on empty self-fulfilling cultural standards. So we force them through college, only to make decisions that they aren't ready to make, which carries them further from the root concerns that need to be addressed.

If you're really serious about taking hold of your new consciousness, I would suggest reflecting on ways in which you can contribute back to humanity. That could be through chemistry, running a website, or doing something simple that allows for more dedicated spiritually oriented work to be done on the side. It sounds like taking a semester off is something to think about. Getting a degree asap isn't necessary..it's always available. If you wanted to take advantage of what your father is offering, openly discuss your concerns and consider a general liberal arts or social sciences degree. If you are honest with yourself you will find what you're looking for!

I agree, the educational path is enforced by culture, and often pressured onto children because parents have been brought up to think "It's the right way. Go to school, then get a job. Be a good citizen".

If a child, a Wanderer, remembering (but not necessarily consciously) why they are here said, "I don't want to go school, I want to help others in need", most parents - i.e. those raised by the norms of culture - would baulk, and persuade them to do otherwise.

Balance could be useful here - attending school while investing free time into something that gives you soul satisfaction.

Always remember, offering love in the moment - the greatest service one can give - can be done anywhere, anytime. School or otherwise :¬)

i defo never benefitted from school. i wasn't aware of what i should do, and i felt like i was wasting my time on something that made me feel like monkeypoo. instead i should have been having experiences that would inform me what i should do. like trying different things or trying apprenticeships to see what is fun. traveling. learning practicality. but we no longer have such things. in the olden days they had apprenticeships, it was common. now it's common to go to school. it's dumb.

i mean, if you feel you can benefit from school or something then it's great. it's just, it's not the only thing you can do. the hard part is to figure out what you want to and are willing to do.

Of course Namaste and Icaro are absolutely correct, Alex. You must find your own balance. My initial response is based on my own experience in life, and also on the fact that I am a parent.

I also like to remind myself that I chose my parents for this incarnation for a reason, so I try to really listen to them and learn from their wisdom and insight. In the end, you must do as your heart leads you.

Whatever you decide, it will all turn out well. You are loved!

Parents are a source of wisdom and guidance, yes. It is a fine line however, because the parents' own imbalances and distorted views can transfer to the child. This in turn can create neurosis, because the child wants to be an individual yet is pulled back by a parents' own distorted values. One of the goals in life is to obviously become an individual, which usually involves breaking away from the parents. Doing it delicately isn't easy. The more open and honest you are about it, the less confrontational it becomes.

You might like me better if I had "parental neuroses". I probably have an empty space that was intended for these.

Lol, I like you just the way you are.

You are in a great time of your life, although the twenties are very challenging.
My advice is do not go to school if you really think you would flunk out. Grades are important. Poor grades may eliminate the future possibility of grad school or other things, including certain jobs, where grades matter. You just may later change your mind and want to further your education, and poor grades could make that possibility improbable. Also, you don't want to waste time not learning to the best of your ability. Nor do you want to waste money on tuition or lost income. You are fortunate to be looking at these issues while you can make choices before heading into it.
We are here to have joy and to serve others. Find your talents, then develop them the best way possible.
With your third eye open, you probably find meditating quite easy. There will be all your answers.

I was enjoyed reading what you all had to say, it made me happy. Thank you for the warm welcome everyone .

(11-05-2011, 01:06 PM)Icaro Wrote: [ -> ]awakening is always accompanied by blissful energy influxes that fade. It's possible to remain in a peaceful state though, which only requires the understanding that the only thing you need, can be found in the moment within. Being content is a conscious choice that requires honesty and self-reflection. You're being asked to reflect on who you really are, and what contributions you truly would like to offer.

That is exactly what I needed to hear Icaro, the metaphysics! I enjoyed the bliss but I feel like I need to catch my breath after all that energy and just be at peace. I guess I was really confused about the whole bliss thing but now that that has been cleared up I will continue with the inner work. That last paragraph about confusion was partially coming from a place of victim-hood. I refused to work when the bliss faded and was a bit negative about that. Being honest with myself I know that I need to be more responsible to let the growth continue to unfold. In the mean time I'm finding new ways to love others and myself. Thank you for sharing, it helped tremendously.

....

Aw man. That was my second choice for my post. You win Icaro. (it's a joke)

I'd say my awakening was powerful and eventful, though was anything but blissful.

Though for me it has been tremendously meaningful.

(11-06-2011, 04:04 PM)Avocado Wrote: [ -> ]That is exactly what I needed to hear Icaro, the metaphysics! I enjoyed the bliss but I feel like I need to catch my breath after all that energy and just be at peace. I guess I was really confused about the whole bliss thing but now that that has been cleared up I will continue with the inner work. That last paragraph about confusion was partially coming from a place of victim-hood. I refused to work when the bliss faded and was a bit negative about that. Being honest with myself I know that I need to be more responsible to let the growth continue to unfold. In the mean time I'm finding new ways to love others and myself. Thank you for sharing, it helped tremendously.

You're welcome. Inner work is a continual process that is made easier by learning to live in and love the moment!

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(11-06-2011, 05:20 PM)3DMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]Aw man. That was my second choice for my post. You win Icaro. (it's a joke)

I'm one that you don't have to tell when you're joking I gets it.