11-09-2011, 11:45 PM
My dear fellows of LOVE & LIGHT,
the puzzle-pieces of my life have fallen into place; the picture is clear.
Since I was a small child I have known that I would do something extraordinary, something 'grand'. Little did I know. Whilst I acted out my feelings of being a kind of fairy-tale prince in elaborate day-dreams my 'real'-life was more like that of a frog. A frog that saw himself smashed against all sorts of walls. And that was by no means only because the frog was also a little rascal.
Thus, I became a seeker; striving to find out what was wrong with me. Discovering the origin of this huge discrepancy between my inner sense and outer experience, always hoping to find relieve around the corner. And boy, did my soul a good job to keep me at it. It was only shortly after my thirtieth year on this planet, and major despair that a light appeared at the tunnel's end: The idea of unconditional LOVE -- being in a loving relationship with oneself, no matter what.
I've learned plenty in the soon five years since then and surely 'unlearned' even more.
Connecting and communing with my inner child has melted away the armour of cynicism I had erected. I finally accepted that I do not run this life but my soul; that I may select white chocolate instead of dark yet not tread my path towards the autobahn as I had attempted for so long.
I found satisfaction in practising the art of letting BE. After all, one has to do something down here. And if there is something I would urge you to do it would be training 'choiceless awareness.'
Also, my inner child frequently expresses itself now through chortles coming from very deep in my belly. And what a naughty, precocious rascal he is
. But what I have come to realize only today is that he is also my key -- he is the fairy-tale prince.
Now to another puzzle-peace. In early 2010 I had a psychic telephone reading* affirming many things I suspected, like that I'm an 'old soul' and also a teacher. But I was also given my life purpose:
Notice, that I'm only here to help with it, not to do the defining myself. Perhaps an allusion from my Higher Self to stay out of the way
. Anyway, it was only a few days ago that I realized what that means.
Surely, I'm not the only one here who was intrigued by the website of Georgi Stankov, knaumov has pointed out to us some months ago.
Apart from his constant rant about young souls and himself being an ascended master there were so many genuine points that I could not stop reading as much of his stuff as possible to gain more context. His essay on the light body process gave an explanation why I have felt so bogged down for the past 10 to 15 years and never really quite at home in my body. Luckily my fibromyalgia is mild compared to his.
I've read quite a handful of his English and German books now, even the first 50 pages of his work on physics, which is really brilliant as far as I can say with my (intensive-course) school-physics knowledge.
When he began publishing his 'ascension reports' with reader's responses I got doubly curious. Could this 'Ascension' be real? Could I be a first ascension candidate, even a member of his 'Primary Ascension Team' (PAT)?
I have a good intuition and discernment, am an empath but not what I would term psychic. I cannot remember having ever had an OBE. But on the other hand I live as a kind of semi-recluse. I have no obligations and no one relies on me. And then there are the Déjà Vus, situations occurring twice that started to happen shortly after my awakening.
The most remarkable one was a neighbour smashing his Corvette so that the left front wheel was at the height of the door angles. I got aware of it because the towing lorry was idling in front of my window -- at half past two in the night. About three quarters of a year later -- the same again, at the same hour. I must have had more than a hundred of such Déjà Vus now; most of less spectacular nature, of course. The last was on monday.
I see them as signal that I'm on the right track as well as to impress on my mind the illusionary nature of 3D experience with its apparent causalities.
I pondered these facts a lot, and decided to be amongst the first ascension wave. After all, what have I to loose. As I began getting a funny picture from my inner child when thinking on a 'portal' I contacted PAT-member Callista who can see portals. She told me my 'portal' would look like a crystal castle (now if that does not suit a fairy-tale prince
) and that I was a member of PAT.
So, here I was, trying to figure that out. I indeed a PAT-member? As fate would have it, I stumbled over my notes of the psychic reading again. And suddenly my life-purpose, 'You came here to help define yourself in a new way,' made concrete sense -- becoming aware of my multi-dimensional beingness, of ONEness without physical death.
My longing for a better world was not only because I sensed the separateness from the higher planes I belong to, but also an anticipation. And my inner child is the key to it. And my strong attraction to feminine women in this life? -- There is a wonderful woman within me who happens to know the way to my portal, as I found out today. Maybe she is my representation of Gaia or my Higher Self, I don't know. What I do know is that my inner child is also her child.
Seems quite a day of insights
.
Thus, I have all reasons to reckon that I'm not going to be around here
much longer. I'm really thrilled. As far as the Ra material is concerned their description of a 6th density wanderer resonates deeply with me. Soon I may know.
I like to thank ALL of you. I've read here since 2009, gleaned a lot of useful information. I'm afraid that there was so little I could return. THANK YOU a million and one! Particularly, you knaumov who you have pointed me to your fellow countryman, Georgi!
It was he or rather his writings that made clear to me that it were mainly the residues of my empirical mindset that held me back. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who looks for 'proofs' and evidence in this 3d-illusion. 3D is only a means for catalyst, look within to find your way! Connect with your inner child.** Empiricism is like looking only under the street lamp.
Enough.
I wish you all the best!
LOVE, LIGHT and LAUGHTER aplenty,
foolosopher
P.S.
I have a notion that I'll be back to help with the main ascension. Appearing as an 'ascended master' is probably quite funny
Also, I think I'll see the one or other of you shortly... and the rest in a year at latest.
* The psychic is fairly competent and worth the bucks.
** This site has helped me becoming aware of my inner child tremendously.
Have also a look at this videos, they are really good. Watch particularly the 'Preparing for ascension' ones, even if you belief ascension is humbug.
the puzzle-pieces of my life have fallen into place; the picture is clear.
Since I was a small child I have known that I would do something extraordinary, something 'grand'. Little did I know. Whilst I acted out my feelings of being a kind of fairy-tale prince in elaborate day-dreams my 'real'-life was more like that of a frog. A frog that saw himself smashed against all sorts of walls. And that was by no means only because the frog was also a little rascal.
Thus, I became a seeker; striving to find out what was wrong with me. Discovering the origin of this huge discrepancy between my inner sense and outer experience, always hoping to find relieve around the corner. And boy, did my soul a good job to keep me at it. It was only shortly after my thirtieth year on this planet, and major despair that a light appeared at the tunnel's end: The idea of unconditional LOVE -- being in a loving relationship with oneself, no matter what.
I've learned plenty in the soon five years since then and surely 'unlearned' even more.
Connecting and communing with my inner child has melted away the armour of cynicism I had erected. I finally accepted that I do not run this life but my soul; that I may select white chocolate instead of dark yet not tread my path towards the autobahn as I had attempted for so long.
I found satisfaction in practising the art of letting BE. After all, one has to do something down here. And if there is something I would urge you to do it would be training 'choiceless awareness.'
Jiddu Krishnamurti Wrote:Meditation is to be aware of every thought and of every feeling, never to say it is right or wrong but just to watch it and move with it. In that watching you begin to understand the whole movement of thought and feeling. And out of this awareness comes silence.In the beginning this was not so easy when I was involved in some catalyst and showered with strong emotion. ('You have powerful emotions and feelings which are easily aroused. For some, these feelings are so deep and so intense that they may take over' [my greatest fear] -- from my horoscope.) But about a year ago I have reached a point where the even charged feelings just rush through me in 'real-time' whilst such a catalyst happens. I guess that that is the transparency or crystallization Ra and Q'uo speak of. My chakra-wheels are of low friction, now, as it were.
Also, my inner child frequently expresses itself now through chortles coming from very deep in my belly. And what a naughty, precocious rascal he is
. But what I have come to realize only today is that he is also my key -- he is the fairy-tale prince. Now to another puzzle-peace. In early 2010 I had a psychic telephone reading* affirming many things I suspected, like that I'm an 'old soul' and also a teacher. But I was also given my life purpose:
Quote:You came here to help define yourself in a new way.
Notice, that I'm only here to help with it, not to do the defining myself. Perhaps an allusion from my Higher Self to stay out of the way
. Anyway, it was only a few days ago that I realized what that means.Surely, I'm not the only one here who was intrigued by the website of Georgi Stankov, knaumov has pointed out to us some months ago.
Apart from his constant rant about young souls and himself being an ascended master there were so many genuine points that I could not stop reading as much of his stuff as possible to gain more context. His essay on the light body process gave an explanation why I have felt so bogged down for the past 10 to 15 years and never really quite at home in my body. Luckily my fibromyalgia is mild compared to his.
I've read quite a handful of his English and German books now, even the first 50 pages of his work on physics, which is really brilliant as far as I can say with my (intensive-course) school-physics knowledge.
When he began publishing his 'ascension reports' with reader's responses I got doubly curious. Could this 'Ascension' be real? Could I be a first ascension candidate, even a member of his 'Primary Ascension Team' (PAT)?
I have a good intuition and discernment, am an empath but not what I would term psychic. I cannot remember having ever had an OBE. But on the other hand I live as a kind of semi-recluse. I have no obligations and no one relies on me. And then there are the Déjà Vus, situations occurring twice that started to happen shortly after my awakening.
The most remarkable one was a neighbour smashing his Corvette so that the left front wheel was at the height of the door angles. I got aware of it because the towing lorry was idling in front of my window -- at half past two in the night. About three quarters of a year later -- the same again, at the same hour. I must have had more than a hundred of such Déjà Vus now; most of less spectacular nature, of course. The last was on monday.
I see them as signal that I'm on the right track as well as to impress on my mind the illusionary nature of 3D experience with its apparent causalities.
I pondered these facts a lot, and decided to be amongst the first ascension wave. After all, what have I to loose. As I began getting a funny picture from my inner child when thinking on a 'portal' I contacted PAT-member Callista who can see portals. She told me my 'portal' would look like a crystal castle (now if that does not suit a fairy-tale prince
) and that I was a member of PAT.So, here I was, trying to figure that out. I indeed a PAT-member? As fate would have it, I stumbled over my notes of the psychic reading again. And suddenly my life-purpose, 'You came here to help define yourself in a new way,' made concrete sense -- becoming aware of my multi-dimensional beingness, of ONEness without physical death.
My longing for a better world was not only because I sensed the separateness from the higher planes I belong to, but also an anticipation. And my inner child is the key to it. And my strong attraction to feminine women in this life? -- There is a wonderful woman within me who happens to know the way to my portal, as I found out today. Maybe she is my representation of Gaia or my Higher Self, I don't know. What I do know is that my inner child is also her child.
Seems quite a day of insights
. Thus, I have all reasons to reckon that I'm not going to be around here
much longer. I'm really thrilled. As far as the Ra material is concerned their description of a 6th density wanderer resonates deeply with me. Soon I may know.
I like to thank ALL of you. I've read here since 2009, gleaned a lot of useful information. I'm afraid that there was so little I could return. THANK YOU a million and one! Particularly, you knaumov who you have pointed me to your fellow countryman, Georgi!
It was he or rather his writings that made clear to me that it were mainly the residues of my empirical mindset that held me back. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who looks for 'proofs' and evidence in this 3d-illusion. 3D is only a means for catalyst, look within to find your way! Connect with your inner child.** Empiricism is like looking only under the street lamp.
Enough
.I wish you all the best!
LOVE, LIGHT and LAUGHTER aplenty,
foolosopher
P.S.
I have a notion that I'll be back to help with the main ascension. Appearing as an 'ascended master' is probably quite funny
Also, I think I'll see the one or other of you shortly... and the rest in a year at latest.
* The psychic is fairly competent and worth the bucks.
** This site has helped me becoming aware of my inner child tremendously.
Have also a look at this videos, they are really good. Watch particularly the 'Preparing for ascension' ones, even if you belief ascension is humbug.
chakra is significantly more active. A deeper breath practically fills me with LOVE and JOY and lets chi rush up my spine. I really hope this will stay so. Or improve even more.