Hi my name is justin i am really confused at this point,first i attribute this to genetics to mental illness (schizophrenia) and adhd as a kid and i think i had some neglect but i was a really really cruel kid and this was due to low development of my prefrontal cortex from adhd and being at risk for schizophrenia but when i turned 15 i think this is when my prefrontal cortex fully matured and i became the oppisite of what i am i became completly empathic i cant even kill a bug or hurt a plant.
i always have this inner voice that tells me that i have to help especially when coming down from from drug trips and during when trip i asked my inner voice am i a wanderer and it said yes i also love lights, but i always ask myself how could i be a wanderer and be so cruel as a kid but i probably answered my own question and it was just my mind body complex.
my question is can anyone relate to this and especially obssession with lights i love lights and an inner voice somtimes saying i have to help.
i was diagniosed when i was a kid with ODD(oppistional defiant disorder0 and adhd
and later on in my teens with depression with psychosis then schizoaffective disorder i think i just had a mild form schizotypal personality disorder but i did alot of drugs which brought on full schizophrenia due to genetic risk.
i never had any paranormal experciances but what makes me think im a wanderer is my love for lights and i used to have an obssession with the number 4 and somhow i knew it meant love but my explantion at the time was that when the four closes electricty shoots through it and hits the clouds.
i was a selfish cruel kid though i dont see what the purpose of me being this way was
Welcome Justin,
ADHT is often a misdiagnosed 'problem' for both Wanderers and 'new breed' children. They simply do not fit in with school (the methods in which they teach especially), and distracting things like TV (cartoons and adverts) only add to the 'problem'.
You experienced acting cruelty as a younger child for a couple of reasons. Firstly, you forgot who you were and why you were here. That's very easy to do in this density. Secondly, and more importantly, you've learned from it.
For the rest of your life, you'll show compassion to others. Humans, animals and plants alike. That can only be a positive thing in my book :¬)
i meant hit the sky when the four closes and when people find love the electricty(vibration) from them closes the four
this is before i found the Law of One this is all i could make out at that time when i thought about four.
but i could of had a close ecounter as well in a past life i dont know it doesnt matter we are all evolving even those that arent wanderers will maybe someday become wanderers and will always get to higher denisties.
somtimes when we think of ourselves as wanderers we get up in ego and instead finding that oneness in all of us we create seperation.
i know this can be hard somtimes especially with how things are going greed,hatred,irrelevant critical thinking that isnt used for learning and somtimes hating the physical parts of yourselves eg bowel movements
i think part of fourth density is that attraction is going to be rated on a person good deed instead superficial things.
Hello, Justin.
Welcome to the forums!!
This line:
"irrelevant critical thinking that isnt used for learning"
really struck me. You're so right!
P.S. I love Colorado
Hi
thank you
By inner voice i meant that somtimes especially when coming down from drug trips i always have this inner voice telling me i have to help people
like im in not doing enough
sorry, i just wanted to know if people could relate to love of lights i love to stare into flash lights somtimes
and that inner voice
and mental illness and or cruel behavior in early childhood i know i read in the Law of One that jesus killed a playmate from being angry
ive done some terrible things
ive always thought maybe im from 4th density but now i think im from 5th density going on to 6th when i closed my eyes in the past my mind always went to this place where the grass is pure white and love of lights i dont know this might sound stupid but i have alot confusion(internal battles) and the lack of acceptance over what ive done in my past idk
I've done stupid things as well. You're not alone there.
I too feel I'm from 5th density, but don't know how far into it.