01-20-2012, 02:48 PM
Guess what … I just wrote a long story, and then I touched the wrong key on my keyboard – and all of a sudden, everything was gone.
Seems like this is what usually happens when you are writing a long forum post or email in which you arduously try to craft every word and sentence with utmost care so as to most aptly convey whatever it is you want to convey...
Well, in this case, all I wanted to “convey” is that I was saying “hi” to all of you … making myself “visible” on this forum, after having been following the posts here for a number of weeks (or months) … but it became somewhat of a very long and elaborate “hi” ...
And now it is gone...
But anyway
, someone we all are probably quite well acquainted with once said “there are no mistakes – there are only surprises” … and someone else said that nothing is ever truly lost …. so thanks for the surprise, the humour of which definitely wasn't lost to me, and here I am, in the middle of my second attempt to say “hi” to all of you: Hi!
I registered on this forum some two weeks ago, and it took me quite a long time to come up with a suitable username … for various reasons, I did not want to use my “real” name, but any other combination of letters, sounds or numbers always brought with it some kind of meaning, which never completely fit, it somehow struck some kind of dissonance with my “beingness” as of at this current point in (space/)time...
Then, two weeks ago, while I was carrying a heavy moving box in my arms (I am currently in the process of moving house) the words “fire” and “wind” came into my mind, and it somehow stuck with me, it just seemed to fit.
Not in the sense that I “am” fire and/or wind (I am – or perhaps was – rather a kind of “water” person, if you will) [note: since you and me actually are all that is, together with all of beingness, this statement may be considered wrong, but please do excuse my inability to express my thoughts whilst taking into consideration all the different vantage points which I may be aware of], but there is definitely a lot of “fire” and “wind” in my life right now...
Whatever that actually means...
I dimly remember that Ra, somewhere within the vast content of the Ra material, spoke about “fire” and “wind”, but I can't really recall what it had to say about it... guess I'll find out, sooner or later...
So, Firewind, this is me, for now, here, on this forum.
In another reality, I am male, live in a country somewhere in Europe, and entered this third-density planetary sphere of influence in the year 1983 by process of what we call “birth”, or sometimes “incarnation”.
The reason why I chose today as the day I would post my first posting on this forum is that today, the vibration of my body is especially low (exemplified by the fact that my body is running, or rather trying to run, on more or less a mixture of sugar and caffeine, which would have seemed abhorrent to me just days back and would have made me sick [note: it actually does right now]), while my body-mind-complex is quite confused, vibrationally speaking, and as for my body-mind-spirit-complex-totality, it has to be there somewhere, but haven't seen any trace of it yet today...
In spite of all of this, there is the emergence of what could be seen as a fragile first trace of stability, emanating from the chaos that is everywhere around (and within) me … else, I wouldn't even be able to write these lines...
In fact, if I were to be writing these lines whilst, with my body-mind-complex, abiding in what I could (inadequately) term “higher vibrations”, it might, after all, be much less “interesting” than writing them in the state I am in right now.
Maybe I would just be “sending out light and love to all of you” otherwise … whilst today, I feel unable to write anything like this, though I do know, that in between all of these words and phrases, somehow nestled within all those little characters on my screen, there is lots of (my) light and love which I am incessantly sending out to you (and receiving back, of course)...
For the past couple of weeks, my feeling has been that of being “forged” in the alchemical fire of Despair, which is actually Delight, or, so I sometimes ask myself, just Delusion, which brings oneself full circle back into Despair.
I guess that I have been in the “kiln” for several of our years already, maybe (and probably) for all of my life, but recently, the temperature has really gone up (must be the “weather” …
)
Yet strangely, the hotter it gets in here, the less “cold” I feel inside … the only side-effect being that the fire is burning everything around me, material or immaterial, to ashes … and it scares a lot of people who are very dear to me, very much so (scared, and dear).
In fact, I should be the one to be afraid … but the more I try, the less I feel able to “do” so … though it is painful being someone who is giving most of those around him a really hard time, and still feeling, deeply inside of himself, as if “all is well” and “all is good”... but realising, at the same time, that he, and whatever is happening, on any level, now or at any time, can (most probably) "never" be understood by those around him (nor even by himself), and that from another vantage point, it all looks different … most different indeed, and that he can greatly sympathise with all those who look at the situation from that other point of view, yet he can never become that point of view (again?)...
This has been one of the central “problems” I have always been facing in my life: trying to figure out things, to understand, delving deeper and deeper into the “mystery” of the most mundane things and occurrences, yet not being able to understand anything, especially not being able to understand people, their motivations, desires and utterly contradictory behaviour. (Especially how to most people, everything was just so clear and logical within that neat little construct of reality they had carefully crafted for themselves).
Also, I have been realising, again and again, after trying to explain myself, my thoughts, feelings, or even subtler “motions” within me, sometimes for hours on end; most meticulously trying to clothe what was inside of my mind into just the words and concepts the other person would know and be most comfortable with - that I wasn't understood. Not at all.
Someone out of our friends from the “Confederation” once said something akin to “Remember that your density is not one of understanding, it is one of love. There is no understanding in 3D, only what appears to you as utter chaos, as confusion so thick it is virtually impenetrable...” (of course I am paraphrasing here...)
These words have helped me a lot. I constantly tell myself “Don't even try to understand. But do try to love”.
And it seems to work. I am still here. 
So, well, what else is there to tell?
Did I mention that I suspect I might be wanderer? Not that it was of any importance (and I wonder if there would be anyone who, in the strictest sense, is NOT a wanderer) … but it does seem to help me get through the universe-shattering calamities and disasters of day-to-day life a lot more easily if am able to, just a little bit, “dissociate” "myself" from the “persona” that I have made myself believe I am forced to wear while being around here...
So let's see...
Double check. (By the way, I DO like the planet … but, oh.......)
In spite of trying really hard to suppress it for all of my life so far (stemming from a misunderstood conception of “humility”) - yes, definitely.
Oh yes. Did I mention, by the way, that when I first stumbled upon the Ra material, after reading the first couple of sentences, my first spontaneous reaction was like “Oh, wow, whoever phrased all these words and sentences, it would be REALLY nice to meet up with this person, have a cup of coffee and a little conversation... Well, as it turned out, this “person” is a sixth-density social memory complex and I will have to work quite a lot more on attuning my body-mind-spirit-complex until we can “sit down”, so to say, and exchange some of our thoughts whilst imbibing some sixth-density light/love...
But we definitely will, at some other nexus in space/time … at least if I am able to catch up before Ra goes on to the next octave...
Yes, although not feeling much kinship with the stars, actually. (What's wrong with me?)
Yes, although “ethics” and “morality” depend a lot on your vantage point, and there are a lot of vantage points all across that intricate labyrinth of dimensions that our universe seems to be comprised of, so I am not sure if “ethics” and “morality” are the right words to use in this context...
Yes, though I might have to note that much of what is purporting to be “spiritual seeking” and “spiritually oriented company” actually is not, and some of what some people would most violently deny to be “spiritual seeking” or “spiritual oriented company” (and be appalled at even that very idea), actually is.
Although, as I have to correct myself again, there "probably/truly" isn't any activity that is not, ultimately, spiritual seeking.
So to conclude my wanderer's story, I might tell you why I came here after all (I mean the forum, not the planet).
I had read some channeled material here and there, not much, as it always seemed like a lot of rambling to me, with a little “candy” thrown in here and there, but nothing that really resonated with me … nothing that struck a chord within me. Then, about a year ago, I came across the Ra material, and it was all different … reading the first couple of sentences and paragraphs, I felt as if I had drawn a curtain aside from my windowpane and the sun was shining right into my face … it seemed as if there was light emanating from my computer screen, radiating forth from between the words, each of which was so skillfully and splendidly chosen to express concepts which, all at once, resonated with my own essence, a part of myself that would - so far - only rarely show, and that I never knew of actually being part of myself.
Of course, any computer screen is basically a device the primary function of which is to emanate light of different colours right into your face, but I am sure you understand that the light I am talking about is that kind of light you would probably call a “more dense” kind of light... And since we all have lots of this more dense kind of light inside ourselves, I hope that I could pack some of it into the text I have just written (and I don't really doubt that I have).
May you all be here and now, have a most interesting day whilst always staying centered in your spirit, breathe in and out of your lungs this atmosphere of our lovely planet here and enjoy all the small enjoyments that every little moment is delightfully full of, if you just look closely enough...
Your friend,
Firewind
PS: I forgot to say a lot of things, and give thanks to a lot of entities that may or may not be currently incarnate on any plane or density ... but I think it really is time right now to end this post...
Seems like this is what usually happens when you are writing a long forum post or email in which you arduously try to craft every word and sentence with utmost care so as to most aptly convey whatever it is you want to convey...
Well, in this case, all I wanted to “convey” is that I was saying “hi” to all of you … making myself “visible” on this forum, after having been following the posts here for a number of weeks (or months) … but it became somewhat of a very long and elaborate “hi” ...
And now it is gone...
But anyway
, someone we all are probably quite well acquainted with once said “there are no mistakes – there are only surprises” … and someone else said that nothing is ever truly lost …. so thanks for the surprise, the humour of which definitely wasn't lost to me, and here I am, in the middle of my second attempt to say “hi” to all of you: Hi! I registered on this forum some two weeks ago, and it took me quite a long time to come up with a suitable username … for various reasons, I did not want to use my “real” name, but any other combination of letters, sounds or numbers always brought with it some kind of meaning, which never completely fit, it somehow struck some kind of dissonance with my “beingness” as of at this current point in (space/)time...
Then, two weeks ago, while I was carrying a heavy moving box in my arms (I am currently in the process of moving house) the words “fire” and “wind” came into my mind, and it somehow stuck with me, it just seemed to fit.
Not in the sense that I “am” fire and/or wind (I am – or perhaps was – rather a kind of “water” person, if you will) [note: since you and me actually are all that is, together with all of beingness, this statement may be considered wrong, but please do excuse my inability to express my thoughts whilst taking into consideration all the different vantage points which I may be aware of], but there is definitely a lot of “fire” and “wind” in my life right now...
Whatever that actually means...
I dimly remember that Ra, somewhere within the vast content of the Ra material, spoke about “fire” and “wind”, but I can't really recall what it had to say about it... guess I'll find out, sooner or later...
So, Firewind, this is me, for now, here, on this forum.
In another reality, I am male, live in a country somewhere in Europe, and entered this third-density planetary sphere of influence in the year 1983 by process of what we call “birth”, or sometimes “incarnation”.
The reason why I chose today as the day I would post my first posting on this forum is that today, the vibration of my body is especially low (exemplified by the fact that my body is running, or rather trying to run, on more or less a mixture of sugar and caffeine, which would have seemed abhorrent to me just days back and would have made me sick [note: it actually does right now]), while my body-mind-complex is quite confused, vibrationally speaking, and as for my body-mind-spirit-complex-totality, it has to be there somewhere, but haven't seen any trace of it yet today...
In spite of all of this, there is the emergence of what could be seen as a fragile first trace of stability, emanating from the chaos that is everywhere around (and within) me … else, I wouldn't even be able to write these lines...
In fact, if I were to be writing these lines whilst, with my body-mind-complex, abiding in what I could (inadequately) term “higher vibrations”, it might, after all, be much less “interesting” than writing them in the state I am in right now.
Maybe I would just be “sending out light and love to all of you” otherwise … whilst today, I feel unable to write anything like this, though I do know, that in between all of these words and phrases, somehow nestled within all those little characters on my screen, there is lots of (my) light and love which I am incessantly sending out to you (and receiving back, of course)...
For the past couple of weeks, my feeling has been that of being “forged” in the alchemical fire of Despair, which is actually Delight, or, so I sometimes ask myself, just Delusion, which brings oneself full circle back into Despair.
I guess that I have been in the “kiln” for several of our years already, maybe (and probably) for all of my life, but recently, the temperature has really gone up (must be the “weather” …
)Yet strangely, the hotter it gets in here, the less “cold” I feel inside … the only side-effect being that the fire is burning everything around me, material or immaterial, to ashes … and it scares a lot of people who are very dear to me, very much so (scared, and dear).
In fact, I should be the one to be afraid … but the more I try, the less I feel able to “do” so … though it is painful being someone who is giving most of those around him a really hard time, and still feeling, deeply inside of himself, as if “all is well” and “all is good”... but realising, at the same time, that he, and whatever is happening, on any level, now or at any time, can (most probably) "never" be understood by those around him (nor even by himself), and that from another vantage point, it all looks different … most different indeed, and that he can greatly sympathise with all those who look at the situation from that other point of view, yet he can never become that point of view (again?)...
This has been one of the central “problems” I have always been facing in my life: trying to figure out things, to understand, delving deeper and deeper into the “mystery” of the most mundane things and occurrences, yet not being able to understand anything, especially not being able to understand people, their motivations, desires and utterly contradictory behaviour. (Especially how to most people, everything was just so clear and logical within that neat little construct of reality they had carefully crafted for themselves).
Also, I have been realising, again and again, after trying to explain myself, my thoughts, feelings, or even subtler “motions” within me, sometimes for hours on end; most meticulously trying to clothe what was inside of my mind into just the words and concepts the other person would know and be most comfortable with - that I wasn't understood. Not at all.
Someone out of our friends from the “Confederation” once said something akin to “Remember that your density is not one of understanding, it is one of love. There is no understanding in 3D, only what appears to you as utter chaos, as confusion so thick it is virtually impenetrable...” (of course I am paraphrasing here...)
These words have helped me a lot. I constantly tell myself “Don't even try to understand. But do try to love”.
And it seems to work. I am still here.
So, well, what else is there to tell?
Did I mention that I suspect I might be wanderer? Not that it was of any importance (and I wonder if there would be anyone who, in the strictest sense, is NOT a wanderer) … but it does seem to help me get through the universe-shattering calamities and disasters of day-to-day life a lot more easily if am able to, just a little bit, “dissociate” "myself" from the “persona” that I have made myself believe I am forced to wear while being around here...
So let's see...
Quote:• Being sensitive to Planet Earth and having lots of allergies and health problems.
Double check. (By the way, I DO like the planet … but, oh.......)
Quote:• Feeling that he is on a mission from God, as the Blues Brothers put it so aptly.
In spite of trying really hard to suppress it for all of my life so far (stemming from a misunderstood conception of “humility”) - yes, definitely.
Quote:• Feeling isolated from others of his kind and yearning for someone with whom to share and converse.
Oh yes. Did I mention, by the way, that when I first stumbled upon the Ra material, after reading the first couple of sentences, my first spontaneous reaction was like “Oh, wow, whoever phrased all these words and sentences, it would be REALLY nice to meet up with this person, have a cup of coffee and a little conversation... Well, as it turned out, this “person” is a sixth-density social memory complex and I will have to work quite a lot more on attuning my body-mind-spirit-complex until we can “sit down”, so to say, and exchange some of our thoughts whilst imbibing some sixth-density light/love...
But we definitely will, at some other nexus in space/time … at least if I am able to catch up before Ra goes on to the next octave...
Quote:• Feeling more kinship with the stars than with the society in which he lives.
Yes, although not feeling much kinship with the stars, actually. (What's wrong with me?)
Quote:• Thinking in terms of ethics and morality rather than what the surrounding culture feels is right.
Yes, although “ethics” and “morality” depend a lot on your vantage point, and there are a lot of vantage points all across that intricate labyrinth of dimensions that our universe seems to be comprised of, so I am not sure if “ethics” and “morality” are the right words to use in this context...
Quote:• Finding no real home in anything except spiritual seeking and spiritually oriented company and conversation.
Yes, though I might have to note that much of what is purporting to be “spiritual seeking” and “spiritually oriented company” actually is not, and some of what some people would most violently deny to be “spiritual seeking” or “spiritual oriented company” (and be appalled at even that very idea), actually is.
Although, as I have to correct myself again, there "probably/truly" isn't any activity that is not, ultimately, spiritual seeking.
So to conclude my wanderer's story, I might tell you why I came here after all (I mean the forum, not the planet).
I had read some channeled material here and there, not much, as it always seemed like a lot of rambling to me, with a little “candy” thrown in here and there, but nothing that really resonated with me … nothing that struck a chord within me. Then, about a year ago, I came across the Ra material, and it was all different … reading the first couple of sentences and paragraphs, I felt as if I had drawn a curtain aside from my windowpane and the sun was shining right into my face … it seemed as if there was light emanating from my computer screen, radiating forth from between the words, each of which was so skillfully and splendidly chosen to express concepts which, all at once, resonated with my own essence, a part of myself that would - so far - only rarely show, and that I never knew of actually being part of myself.
Of course, any computer screen is basically a device the primary function of which is to emanate light of different colours right into your face, but I am sure you understand that the light I am talking about is that kind of light you would probably call a “more dense” kind of light... And since we all have lots of this more dense kind of light inside ourselves, I hope that I could pack some of it into the text I have just written (and I don't really doubt that I have).
May you all be here and now, have a most interesting day whilst always staying centered in your spirit, breathe in and out of your lungs this atmosphere of our lovely planet here and enjoy all the small enjoyments that every little moment is delightfully full of, if you just look closely enough...
Your friend,
Firewind
PS: I forgot to say a lot of things, and give thanks to a lot of entities that may or may not be currently incarnate on any plane or density ... but I think it really is time right now to end this post...
