Why do some people enjoy small talk and others don't? Why do some people feel connected to someone while talking about the weather while another person only feels connection if they discuss something they're interested in in detail? Is it possible to derive enjoyment and feel connection from mundane topics through balancing or discipline?
Just talking about random things that I don't feel are "deep" with my friends is fun and exiting because I derive enjoyment from just interacting with others in a respectful way. So every day I return from the GED program I'm in, I am on a energy High which petters off through out the rest of the day. It is even better if I can discuss something in a deep way, that's way more fun :-)
-Conifer16- Adonai Vasu Borragus
(01-28-2012, 12:08 AM)turtledude23 Wrote: [ -> ]Why do some people enjoy small talk and others don't? Why do some people feel connected to someone while talking about the weather while another person only feels connection if they discuss something they're interested in in detail? Is it possible to derive enjoyment and feel connection from mundane topics through balancing or discipline?
i'll make it easy for ya...
being extroverted equals enjoying the shallow end.
being introverted equals enjoying the deep end.
(01-28-2012, 12:08 AM)turtledude23 Wrote: [ -> ]Why do some people enjoy small talk and others don't? Why do some people feel connected to someone while talking about the weather while another person only feels connection if they discuss something they're interested in in detail? Is it possible to derive enjoyment and feel connection from mundane topics through balancing or discipline?
As a person comes to know themselves the small talk vs detail context (with respect to connection) matters less and less. The imbalance between extroversion and introversion lessens. The shallow introvert becomes a deeper extrovert and vice versa.
I never thought of this before, but I'm kinda thinking that if I enjoy someone's company I won't care much what the conversation topic is. OTOH, if it's a perfect stranger or bare acquaintance, then I ought to examine myself if the person leaves me wanting. Am I too into myself to give attention to the other self, or is this person in particular leaving me cold?
If the topic is one of my passions, then of course I'm likely to go on too long myself.
Lee, exactly what I was thinking!
I really think it depends on the level one feels connected to the other person...
If there is a deep bond between two people they will enjoy talking about no matter what.
I wouldn't despise the so called small talk or shallow conversations per se - sometimes interesting conclusions can result of such topics as well.
Attention goes where you put your energy, regardless of balance with respect to yourself or another.
Just so there is no confusion, extroversion vs introversion has nothing to do with shallow vs deep.