Bring4th

Imagine you are grocery shopping. It's mid morning - around 10 am - on a Thursday and as usual you are smiling and greeting the people you see.

You are standing in the aisle, reading the label on a package when a young woman approaches you and asks, "Excuse me, ma'am. Do you think that a homeless person is a bum?" You discuss your thoughts with her, then she proceeds to tell you her story: that she, her husband (who suffers from Chron's disease) and their two children lost their home for lack of income; that they have been staying in the local Motel 6 for the past two weeks; that she has found a job and will get her first paycheck tomorrow; but that they don't have enough money to pay for their room tonight and will have to vacate if she can't pay by noon. Of course she is asking if you could find it in your hear to help her out.

What would you do?

Note. This happened to me - it is not a hypothetical situation.

Love and light!

i wouldnt do it. i know it sounds hard but i just get the feeling it's not the truth. of course my question is did u feel she was telling the truth ?

norral

Tough question which can't be answered without being in the same situation. There tends to be infinitely more information in the dialog and presence than one can depict - so yes, your story is indeed hypothetical. But once so engaged, the correct course of action becomes much more obvious.

Of course i would help her
You didnt?

It sounds heartless but you need to not give her cash. What you could do ask her if you could go back to the hotel with her and pay for the room (even if you don't fully intend to). Unfortunately, 9 times out of 10 they'll say no in a situation like that.

Who knows though? Maybe she's legit but normally when a homeless person asks for money to get food and you offer to buy them the actual food they'll turn ya down or get mad at ya b/c they're wanting to buy alcohol/drugs.

(02-16-2012, 04:51 PM)zenmaster Wrote: [ -> ]Tough question which can't be answered without being in the same situation. There tends to be infinitely more information in the dialog and presence than one can depict - so yes, your story is indeed hypothetical. But once so engaged, the correct course of action becomes much more obvious.

Of course you're right about that, Zenmaster. It was certainly my own, personal catalyst, something that happened in my world, and since y'all couldn't be there, then it is indeed a hypothetical for you. So, hypothetially, what might you do? How would you respond to her question "Do you think homeless people are bums?"

I've been in similar situation. I was approached by an American guy here in Sweden, and he told me this story: he got robbed, and thieves took his passport, his plane ticket home and all of his money. He needed now to go to the city, where the US Embassy is (we were outside the city), so he asked me if I could borrow him some money and write my email address down to him, and he would contact me once he got home. I gave him a lot of money, and not until some time later, when I met my friends and told them what happened, I realized that I got scammed. I felt *so* stupid!

Well, if the same situation would arise again, or if I would find myself in the same situation as you, I would use my compassion again, and give them money - *in case* their story is true, but I would also use some wisdom this time, and that is - this story is probably *not* true, so I'll give what I can spare.

I don't want to close my heart in the cases like this, but I understand to not to believe all the stories people tell either.

If I had extra cash, I would give it to her. If I didn't, I would tell her I didn't have any and tell her "good luck."

I keep money in my car for this. I ask no questions. I just give it away. It is a gift and whatever they want to do with it is their business.

(02-16-2012, 04:53 PM)Dinko Wrote: [ -> ]Of course i would help her
You didnt?

Sorry, Dinko - I just saw your post. Yes, I did help her. I asked her what room they were in, then told her I didn't have any cash to give her (because I didn't). I finished my shopping, drove to the hotel, knocked on the door of the room number she gave me and met her husband and kids (cute kids, very polite). Then I went to the front desk and paid for two nights.

I've been homeless with a child, and although I never asked anyone for anything, I did receive help when I really needed it the most.

Wow thats amazing Ruth. You seemed to have found the exact "right" way for you to verify everything, while still remaining kind. I am glad it didn't turn out to be a bogus story. I also have known people to be scam artists that come up with similar stories, though. They are basically(by extension) ripping off the people who are legitimately asking for help since most people who have been ripped off in a similar fashion are generally much less likely to do so in the future.

I just liked all your posts. What a great story and great responses

(02-16-2012, 05:22 PM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]I've been in similar situation. I was approached by an American guy here in Sweden, and he told me this story: he got robbed, and thieves took his passport, his plane ticket home and all of his money. He needed now to go to the city, where the US Embassy is (we were outside the city), so he asked me if I could borrow him some money and write my email address down to him, and he would contact me once he got home. I gave him a lot of money, and not until some time later, when I met my friends and told them what happened, I realized that I got scammed. I felt *so* stupid!

Well, if the same situation would arise again, or if I would find myself in the same situation as you, I would use my compassion again, and give them money - *in case* their story is true, but I would also use some wisdom this time, and that is - this story is probably *not* true, so I'll give what I can spare.

I don't want to close my heart in the cases like this, but I understand to not to believe all the stories people tell either.

Does it really matter that u were scamed, your intention were pure

Ankh, I met this same guy here, it seems...
when I told him "no" he got insulting - then I knew I had made the right decision in not giving him money.
Ruth, great you verified it!
I usually give money when I get a gut feeling that the person is indeed poor and if they ask politely I give it to them.
We have a bunch of people here called the "romanian mafia" - they get shipped over here from eastern europe and beg in the streets. They have to give all the money they collect to some kind of boss.
Usually these are easy to identify.
Funny story, by the way... one of these guys begs in the streets, with a crutch and hobbling along, pretending to be barely able to walk.
Then one evening, when his shift was over, apparently, I saw him cross the street, without his crutch and run in amazing speed to the other side.
it was funny to watch.

(02-17-2012, 03:21 AM)Dinko Wrote: [ -> ]Does it really matter that u were scamed, your intention were pure

Thank you, sweety.

(02-17-2012, 03:33 AM)Meerie Wrote: [ -> ]Ankh, I met this same guy here, it seems...

Actually it just reminded me that I've met the "same" guy in Louisville too, when I, my friend, Aaron, Lynn and Walter went out for a dinner. A guy approached us telling some story about being robbed, and then he told us that if we gave him some money he would run up a pillar and do a flip in the air. That we did. And that he did too. We even took some pictures of him and Lynn. Then there was some discussion about this topic later, when we were walking after we left him. =)

We have same people here in Sweden. And street musicians and other performers. Remember that "Viking" we've met in the Old town, when you and Kia visited me?

I've run into many such situations. Never has one been legit. (it's nice to hear nobody is a fool around here).

I remember one lady's story. She said her mom was in the hospital in Houston. She said this man over here in this car was going to drive her there, but that she needed to urgently collect cash so she could return to Dallas. That's totally stupid thinking, right? I give her the time of day. I walk over to the car (probably a guy with the drugs she is wanting to buy), and ask him to corroborate the story. He has no idea what she has told me, so she starts repeating herself loudly, so he just says "yeah, yeah". Lmao. I look at the lady and say 'you should just go there to be with your mom and worry about getting home later'. .... She dropped it and went on to find another sucker.

(02-17-2012, 06:25 AM)3DMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]I've run into many such situations. Never has one been legit. (it's nice to hear nobody is a fool around here).

In my opinion, it has nothing to do with being a fool, or being fooled.

If I give, I give freely, with no judgments. If the person I give to is a homeless drunk, and the drunk wants to buy whiskey with the money I give, that's fine by me. Who am I to judge what they do with my gift? For all I know, that whiskey was exactly what they needed to get through the night and survive to do something wonderful later on. But this is beside the point. When giving, give freely with no attachments. If you are attached to the gift you have given, you may enmesh with the karma of the person you have given to.

Let's look at the scammer on the street. First, let's realize that the life of such a person is not ideal. Who would want to live that way, really? When someone just gives them something with no judgment at all (which means the giver isn't fooled because they don't care either way), then the scammer takes the money without the idea that they have fooled someone (even if it is only subconscious), and they are only left with the idea that the person shared their gift nonjudgmentally. In other words, they haven't received money because they fooled someone, rather, they received money because someone cared enough to share what they had. This sort of difference might shift the scammer.

Not that that would be my purpose at all--to shift the scammer. I just give freely when I do, and because this is an STO action, with no attachment to outcome, the flowing of resources expands, rather than staying contracted.

Okay, Diana. I'll PM you my address. How does $500 sound?

I would look the person requesting help directly in the eyes.
Then I would know what to do.

L&L

i don't usually have a lot of money but if someone politely asks i can give coins and stuff, it's just most homeless sit and have a hat and i feel awkward to initiate the thing. i have social anxiety. one time a guy asked me for coins and i thought he was funny so i gave him all my coins. he was kind of a similar type as my uncle. like kind of a ne'er do well but not a bad person. but usually if strangers approach me i avoid them. i don't like people to suddenly start talking to me if they seem scary and i don't know them.

(02-18-2012, 09:56 AM)Ashim Wrote: [ -> ]I would look the person requesting help directly in the eyes.
Then I would know what to do.

L&L

yeah right...

(02-22-2012, 04:33 PM)Dinko Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-18-2012, 09:56 AM)Ashim Wrote: [ -> ]I would look the person requesting help directly in the eyes.
Then I would know what to do.

L&L

yeah right...

What do you mean?

(02-22-2012, 04:38 PM)3DMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-22-2012, 04:33 PM)Dinko Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-18-2012, 09:56 AM)Ashim Wrote: [ -> ]I would look the person requesting help directly in the eyes.
Then I would know what to do.

L&L

yeah right...

What do you mean?

3DM - I'm not sure what anyone else meant by the quoted text, but I did, in fact (and do on many occasions) look someone in the eye so I'll know what to do/say/feel, or how to understand etc. But there is something else that goes on, not just the looking in the eyes, but also a sort of spiritual stepping back that I've been trying to figure out how to explain in written words. So far, however, I've felt totally inept at finding the words.

In the example I gave, I looked the young woman in the eye when we were discussing being homeless, how it happens, what it means, what we learn from it etc, and all the while I was "stepping back" spiritually to get guidance on how to handle the situation, which is why I did what I did.

Hope that helps.

(02-22-2012, 05:39 PM)Ruth Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-22-2012, 04:38 PM)3DMonkey Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-22-2012, 04:33 PM)Dinko Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-18-2012, 09:56 AM)Ashim Wrote: [ -> ]I would look the person requesting help directly in the eyes.
Then I would know what to do.

L&L

yeah right...

What do you mean?

3DM - I'm not sure what anyone else meant by the quoted text, but I did, in fact (and do on many occasions) look someone in the eye so I'll know what to do/say/feel, or how to understand etc. But there is something else that goes on, not just the looking in the eyes, but also a sort of spiritual stepping back that I've been trying to figure out how to explain in written words. So far, however, I've felt totally inept at finding the words.

In the example I gave, I looked the young woman in the eye when we were discussing being homeless, how it happens, what it means, what we learn from it etc, and all the while I was "stepping back" spiritually to get guidance on how to handle the situation, which is why I did what I did.

Hope that helps.

I don't think it is possible to put the true spirit into words. When we try, it becomes the mind by default. The spirit remains the spirit. I think my spirit understands what your spirit is "saying".

Monkey - I think my spirit frequently understands what your spirit is "saying." Keep letting your light shine!

I'd give her whatever extra cash I had on hand. But then I would also talk to her about improving her situation.

Are you implying that it might be a trick? If so, how desperate someone must be, to resort to begging. If that's the case, they are still crying out for help, so my response would be the same. It's worth spending $1 or $5 or $10 or whatever, for such an opportunity to possibly help someone in need.

If the person takes the $$ and buys booze or drugs, then that's their karma, not mine.

An alternative is to buy her some groceries, instead of giving her the cash. This is an obvious solution, being that this happened in a grocery store! It wouldn't help her with the rent, but it'll help with the obvious necessities. You'll be able to tell a lot by her reaction. If she really is in need, she will be grateful for the food. If it's a trick, she'll show her disappointment.

A friend recently told me he keeps some canned goods in his car at all times, and gives the food to homeless people when they approach him at intersections. I thought that was a great idea!

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(02-16-2012, 05:28 PM)Diana Wrote: [ -> ]If I had extra cash, I would give it to her. If I didn't, I would tell her I didn't have any and tell her "good luck."

I keep money in my car for this. I ask no questions. I just give it away. It is a gift and whatever they want to do with it is their business.

Exactly what I was just trying to say! My task is to be compassionate, and to be wise too. But oftentimes, when people attempt to be wise, they lose their compassion.

Lack of wisdom would be to give my own rent money to someone, and then be caught lacking myself. I wouldn't do that. That's why the key is to give what we are able to give freely. Give from our own abundance. Ie. give our extra cash that we have on hand! Then, what they do with it, is their karma, not ours.

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(02-17-2012, 01:36 PM)Diana Wrote: [ -> ]If I give, I give freely, with no judgments. If the person I give to is a homeless drunk, and the drunk wants to buy whiskey with the money I give, that's fine by me. Who am I to judge what they do with my gift? For all I know, that whiskey was exactly what they needed to get through the night and survive to do something wonderful later on.

This exact thing happened to me. I was stopped at a train crossing, a very loooooonnnnng train. A old, wino-looking man asked me for money "for food." I looked him in the eye and said "are you really going to spend it on food?" He said "oh yes!" I gave him $5.

He grinned the most amazingly joyful, toothless grin! He thanked me profusely and ran straight to the convenience store. I don't think they sell hard liquor at convenience stores, so I assume he got some beer or wine. But he got something in a brown bag that was drinkable. I saw him drinking it.

I felt very good about giving him the money. It made his day!

This man was already an alchie. Who knows? It might have been his last day on Earth. He didn't look very healthy. I would never knowingly help a drug addict or an alcoholic reinforce their addictions. But I gave $$ to this man with good intentions, and he made his choice, and my gift brought him joy.

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(02-18-2012, 09:56 AM)Ashim Wrote: [ -> ]I would look the person requesting help directly in the eyes.
Then I would know what to do.

Good advice, Ashim. Ultimately, we should do what we feel guided to do in that particular situation. By tuning into the soul of the other person, we will know.

(02-16-2012, 04:38 PM)Ruth Wrote: [ -> ]Imagine you are grocery shopping. It's mid morning - around 10 am - on a Thursday and as usual you are smiling and greeting the people you see.

You are standing in the aisle, reading the label on a package when a young woman approaches you and asks, "Excuse me, ma'am. Do you think that a homeless person is a bum?" You discuss your thoughts with her, then she proceeds to tell you her story: that she, her husband (who suffers from Chron's disease) and their two children lost their home for lack of income; that they have been staying in the local Motel 6 for the past two weeks; that she has found a job and will get her first paycheck tomorrow; but that they don't have enough money to pay for their room tonight and will have to vacate if she can't pay by noon. Of course she is asking if you could find it in your hear to help her out.

What would you do?

Note. This happened to me - it is not a hypothetical situation.

Love and light!

Unfortunately, its likely a scam. I heard almost the exact story from a woman. She wanted me to follow her back to the motel and pay for another night for her and her family. It sounded fishy...and I told her No.

As soon I got back to work, I googled it and found out that it was an ongoing scam in certain parts of town that had resulted in a couple of people getting mugged as they followed the "woman" back to her hotel.

I was getting gas right in the middle of that area.

Richard