08-23-2009, 10:42 AM
Hi everyone,
I am so glad I found this website and you wonderful Brothers and Sisters. It can be tough doing this stuff in a vaccum.
I have written my story before on another website, and although I've undergone various energy shifts around the Wanderer issue and the Law of One, I feel that my initial writings on the subject of my "Wanderism" are perhaps the most pure as there was very little analysis of the situation involved, just a deep yearning to commune with others of the same ilk.
At the time I wrote these words I was angry, grateful, relieved, frightened and confused all at the same time. It was a strange place to be. Although "it" does tend to fade in and out at times, I am far more accepting now of the situation than I was back in December 2008 when I put my heart and sanity on the line and wrote these words for a mainstream audience.
I was expecting laughter and ridicule. I was mistaken... I'll include a link to the (offsite) discussion at the end of my story.
Since that time, I have gone through an emotional marriage breakup, there have been deaths in my family and my life has been turned upside down and inside out. Knowing and feeling that I am how I am for a reason has been a blessing and has made the various transitions bearable.
I am so looking forward to working with you all.
Namasté.
Here is my story. Please forgive the tone of my writing - I was in an interesting place at the time. I have edited together a couple of different posts here.
"Until recently, I have been sleeping the sound, restful sleep of the ignorant.
Sure, as a child there was some strange stuff like -
Feeling disconnected from the world and even at times from my own life, as if I was reading a comic book about a character that just happened to be me.
Words in common usage like "the" sounding foreign and weird.
Feeling that I must have been adopted.
Looking at printed words on the page and, although able to read far better than my peers at a young age, thinking that the strange markings on the paper were somehow alien, like a fake, made up language.
Lucid dreams of flying.
As an adult, I have felt a distinct lack of compassion for humanity as a whole. I have seen the injustices, the wars, the greed and the vandalism of the biosphere and found it hard to empathise with a race who's sole purpose (when not forced to concentrate on simply surviving) is to gather and hoard power, resources and wealth.
Although I have no use for the "systems" and "processes" through which you allow yourselves to be controlled and ruled, I have compassion for individuals and a strong sense of justice and civic duty to help those who need it.
I have had powerful, haunting and lucid dreams which foreshadowed the September 11 attacks and wars past and future.
I have had "UFO" sightings of orange and blue orbs in the night sky.
I am consciously anti-social 80% of the time, not wanting to contaminate my psyche with the negativity of the world. Apart from my wife and family, I find normal social and work interactions and the blatant mind games and vying for position that they entail to be draining and below me. In one of those divine dichotomies that we sometimes read about, I tend to take on board the suffering and pain of others as well as other "heavy" emotion. I feel the pain of those that I despise and avoid. Now that ain't fair.
I am a former soldier and law enforcement intelligence specialist. I was also a practicing survivalist for the last decade.
The years 2005 - 2008 saw me getting more and more disillusioned with the exploitative and confining societal systems we are forced to exist within, to the point that I abandoned my career and armed revolution was an attractive option.
I am the last person I would expect to be waking up to a previously unknown existence as a "Warrior of the Light". The Universe has a great sense of humour!
Part of my Awakening has been the realisation that We Are One. That changes things - big time. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I still don't particularly like people, but I cannot ignore part of myself, especially when I feel that part's pain and suffering so acutely. To condemn or judge "others" would be to condemn myself.
The hardest thing to come to terms with I guess is when people do "evil" things. The way I rationalise it is - "no-one ever does anything which is wrong in their model of the Universe". I find this awareness of other's lack of awareness helps when I am dealing with injustice.
My awakening has led to a conscious choice to be a positive influence on the "world". That is why I am here.
I am not a kook or a conspiracy theorist, so as you can imagine, these contradictions, dreams and strange aerial displays I have witnessed have had me questioning my sanity.
I have recently (last two weeks) started to awaken to my nature and purpose and have determined to my own surprise that I am here to help those that I go out of my way to avoid most of the time. Exactly how I am to help, I do not know, but I trust that the path will be become clearer as I awaken."
abovetopsecret.com - Wanderers among us - sound off
I am so glad I found this website and you wonderful Brothers and Sisters. It can be tough doing this stuff in a vaccum.
I have written my story before on another website, and although I've undergone various energy shifts around the Wanderer issue and the Law of One, I feel that my initial writings on the subject of my "Wanderism" are perhaps the most pure as there was very little analysis of the situation involved, just a deep yearning to commune with others of the same ilk.
At the time I wrote these words I was angry, grateful, relieved, frightened and confused all at the same time. It was a strange place to be. Although "it" does tend to fade in and out at times, I am far more accepting now of the situation than I was back in December 2008 when I put my heart and sanity on the line and wrote these words for a mainstream audience.
I was expecting laughter and ridicule. I was mistaken... I'll include a link to the (offsite) discussion at the end of my story.
Since that time, I have gone through an emotional marriage breakup, there have been deaths in my family and my life has been turned upside down and inside out. Knowing and feeling that I am how I am for a reason has been a blessing and has made the various transitions bearable.
I am so looking forward to working with you all.
Namasté.
Here is my story. Please forgive the tone of my writing - I was in an interesting place at the time. I have edited together a couple of different posts here.
"Until recently, I have been sleeping the sound, restful sleep of the ignorant.
Sure, as a child there was some strange stuff like -
Feeling disconnected from the world and even at times from my own life, as if I was reading a comic book about a character that just happened to be me.
Words in common usage like "the" sounding foreign and weird.
Feeling that I must have been adopted.
Looking at printed words on the page and, although able to read far better than my peers at a young age, thinking that the strange markings on the paper were somehow alien, like a fake, made up language.
Lucid dreams of flying.
As an adult, I have felt a distinct lack of compassion for humanity as a whole. I have seen the injustices, the wars, the greed and the vandalism of the biosphere and found it hard to empathise with a race who's sole purpose (when not forced to concentrate on simply surviving) is to gather and hoard power, resources and wealth.
Although I have no use for the "systems" and "processes" through which you allow yourselves to be controlled and ruled, I have compassion for individuals and a strong sense of justice and civic duty to help those who need it.
I have had powerful, haunting and lucid dreams which foreshadowed the September 11 attacks and wars past and future.
I have had "UFO" sightings of orange and blue orbs in the night sky.
I am consciously anti-social 80% of the time, not wanting to contaminate my psyche with the negativity of the world. Apart from my wife and family, I find normal social and work interactions and the blatant mind games and vying for position that they entail to be draining and below me. In one of those divine dichotomies that we sometimes read about, I tend to take on board the suffering and pain of others as well as other "heavy" emotion. I feel the pain of those that I despise and avoid. Now that ain't fair.
I am a former soldier and law enforcement intelligence specialist. I was also a practicing survivalist for the last decade.
The years 2005 - 2008 saw me getting more and more disillusioned with the exploitative and confining societal systems we are forced to exist within, to the point that I abandoned my career and armed revolution was an attractive option.
I am the last person I would expect to be waking up to a previously unknown existence as a "Warrior of the Light". The Universe has a great sense of humour!
Part of my Awakening has been the realisation that We Are One. That changes things - big time. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I still don't particularly like people, but I cannot ignore part of myself, especially when I feel that part's pain and suffering so acutely. To condemn or judge "others" would be to condemn myself.
The hardest thing to come to terms with I guess is when people do "evil" things. The way I rationalise it is - "no-one ever does anything which is wrong in their model of the Universe". I find this awareness of other's lack of awareness helps when I am dealing with injustice.
My awakening has led to a conscious choice to be a positive influence on the "world". That is why I am here.
I am not a kook or a conspiracy theorist, so as you can imagine, these contradictions, dreams and strange aerial displays I have witnessed have had me questioning my sanity.
I have recently (last two weeks) started to awaken to my nature and purpose and have determined to my own surprise that I am here to help those that I go out of my way to avoid most of the time. Exactly how I am to help, I do not know, but I trust that the path will be become clearer as I awaken."
abovetopsecret.com - Wanderers among us - sound off