04-11-2012, 07:55 PM
Hello to all. I am not very good at starting stories and I sometimes can be jumpy in going from one thing to another, so bear with me please 
My name is Ashley, although I prefer to go by my middle name, Naomi (it seems to fit me better). I am 25, married to an amazing husband and we have 3 children.
A little background...I have always thought of myself as 'different', even from a very young age in elementary school (I'll touch more on that in a bit though). Growing up, I was raised half of my life as a Jehovah's Witness. My parents fought quite a bit, we lived in a poor neighborhood in Ohio (USA) and I tended to be a very outspoken, and sometimes misbehaved, child. But still, I had a big heart and was always trying to help others. My parents were always amazed at how I was able to empathize for others even at such a young age. My parents went through a very long and nasty divorce/custody battle for my younger brother and me when I was about 6 or 7 years old, during which, we stopped practicing our religion and stopped going to what others typically call 'church'. My father eventually got custody of my brother and me when I was about 9 years old. But even through it all, my parents were still wonderful parents to my brother and me and loved us more than anything. I never really had "real" friends growing up. It seemed I never quite "fit in". I tried though, sometimes doing things I didn't really want to (or that I thought I wanted to) in order for others to like and me befriend me. I was always desperate for attention and close friendships with others (as it seemed everyone had their 'cliche' or at least a best friend to whom they trusted and confided in, but I didn't have this), which looking back, only led me down even more negative paths as I entered my teenage years. As I entered my teenage years, I was out of control; drugs, alcohol, getting in trouble with my parents, etc. Still, though, even while getting in trouble with my parents, I still always had a yearning to help others. I would volunteer at various organizations helping others, and I always had the "I want to save the world" attitude when it came to helping others with their problems. It was a very strange combination, as you can see, and it caused a lot of turmoil and conflict within me. But it was me. Looking back, I think the acting out & experimenting with the various things was my way of further trying to "find myself" and figure out what was so ‘off’ about me and why I didn't seem to belong here. But even through this all, I still knew *something* was different with me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I even went as far as to look into the possibility of vampires, aliens, witches, etc to see if anything about these resonated with me. While I had fun reading and learning about these various subjects, only one resonated with me. Aliens. But everything I found in my local library had to do with the Hollywood version of big-headed 'aliens' who may or may not exist, and if they do, they're probably out to kill us all! As you can imagine, that didn't sit well with me as I knew deep down that if there were ET’s, they probably weren’t out to kill all of us. Did I think I was some sort of ET who was here for some unknown reason at the time? No. But I did feel a pull in that direction that urged me to find out more information about it all. The problem was, was that internet still wasn’t a big hit (at my house anyway) and the local library didn’t have many resources. So my research was very limited and cut short. But I still had other interests that I was very much so interested in and was able to find more reliable sources with. I had always been interested in astronomy and ancient Egypt. I don't know why, and back then, I never knew the two to be as related as I now realize they are on some levels. I got my first tiny telescope (tiny compared to my current one that is only one inch shorter than me lol) when I was 13 and would spend HOURS looking through it. Looking at the night skies was the only time I ever, in my life, felt an at-home type of feeling. I learned all the galaxies, nebulae, and planets I could learn about. But I gravitated toward the planet Venus. I knew everything there was to know about that planet. Then, I started reading more and more about ancient Egypt. I was 16 when I bought a book that taught how to read and write hieroglyphics. And right about then, my life changed. I got pregnant with my first child. It was like my world did a complete 180. I eliminated as much negativity in my life as I could. No more smoking, drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, getting into trouble. My life suddenly was not just about me. I had a child to look after and I needed to find a positive path to raise her on.
Fast forward to present time. There were many ups and downs between then and now, but that is another story that would be much longer than this one. After being married, having 2 more children, and going to college on, I still found that deep down, the feelings of being not belonging here are still very much present. Late last summer/early fall, I felt an urge to learn more. Start my own soul search, if you will. I wanted, I needed to find whatever it was that I felt was missing or lacking in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life but when there is something missing, it doesn’t feel complete and having one small puzzle piece missing can be as bad as not having any put together at all sometimes. It wasn’t until February this year that I came across the LOO, and that gap started to fill up for me. It wasn’t instant though. It wasn’t until the beginning of last month that one night I decided to get my telescope out on a very clear night. I spent a few hours outside listening to some relaxing meditation-type music, and then I decided to call it a night. But before I put everything back in the garage, I wanted to lie on the ground and meditate. As I did, I felt and saw some things I never had before. My feet/legs/hands began to tingle, almost like that feeling when your arm or leg falls asleep, and then I started seeing flashes of colors. Many different colors. It started off as a purple, then blue, red, orange/yellowish, then back to purple. About a minute after this happened, my husband had come outside to check on me and thought I was asleep to he attempted to “wake me up.” Scared the crap out of me! Haha! But I went inside and immediately started looking up what those colors might have meant and even spoke to a friend of mine who is very familiar with LOO/chakras/meditation/etc and between what he mentioned and what I read from others online, it seemed that I was opening up some blockages I had in my chakras and that it’s fairly common to experience this. Ever since that night, it’s like a spark lit a fire and I was awake. I want to learn, no, remember as much as I can. I believe deep down, we already know everything we need to know. We just need to remember. And that is what I try to do every day. The more I remember, the more fulfilled and positive this life becomes. The more and more I want to help others and spread love to every other self. I’ve never felt more alive, more awake, than I do now. Of course, this is just the beginning to a long and wonderful journey, but I am enjoying every step of it. I still have much to learn/remember, but I am so very thankful to have this place with other selves who understand and who I can speak to. Much love, Naomi.
My name is Ashley, although I prefer to go by my middle name, Naomi (it seems to fit me better). I am 25, married to an amazing husband and we have 3 children. A little background...I have always thought of myself as 'different', even from a very young age in elementary school (I'll touch more on that in a bit though). Growing up, I was raised half of my life as a Jehovah's Witness. My parents fought quite a bit, we lived in a poor neighborhood in Ohio (USA) and I tended to be a very outspoken, and sometimes misbehaved, child. But still, I had a big heart and was always trying to help others. My parents were always amazed at how I was able to empathize for others even at such a young age. My parents went through a very long and nasty divorce/custody battle for my younger brother and me when I was about 6 or 7 years old, during which, we stopped practicing our religion and stopped going to what others typically call 'church'. My father eventually got custody of my brother and me when I was about 9 years old. But even through it all, my parents were still wonderful parents to my brother and me and loved us more than anything. I never really had "real" friends growing up. It seemed I never quite "fit in". I tried though, sometimes doing things I didn't really want to (or that I thought I wanted to) in order for others to like and me befriend me. I was always desperate for attention and close friendships with others (as it seemed everyone had their 'cliche' or at least a best friend to whom they trusted and confided in, but I didn't have this), which looking back, only led me down even more negative paths as I entered my teenage years. As I entered my teenage years, I was out of control; drugs, alcohol, getting in trouble with my parents, etc. Still, though, even while getting in trouble with my parents, I still always had a yearning to help others. I would volunteer at various organizations helping others, and I always had the "I want to save the world" attitude when it came to helping others with their problems. It was a very strange combination, as you can see, and it caused a lot of turmoil and conflict within me. But it was me. Looking back, I think the acting out & experimenting with the various things was my way of further trying to "find myself" and figure out what was so ‘off’ about me and why I didn't seem to belong here. But even through this all, I still knew *something* was different with me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I even went as far as to look into the possibility of vampires, aliens, witches, etc to see if anything about these resonated with me. While I had fun reading and learning about these various subjects, only one resonated with me. Aliens. But everything I found in my local library had to do with the Hollywood version of big-headed 'aliens' who may or may not exist, and if they do, they're probably out to kill us all! As you can imagine, that didn't sit well with me as I knew deep down that if there were ET’s, they probably weren’t out to kill all of us. Did I think I was some sort of ET who was here for some unknown reason at the time? No. But I did feel a pull in that direction that urged me to find out more information about it all. The problem was, was that internet still wasn’t a big hit (at my house anyway) and the local library didn’t have many resources. So my research was very limited and cut short. But I still had other interests that I was very much so interested in and was able to find more reliable sources with. I had always been interested in astronomy and ancient Egypt. I don't know why, and back then, I never knew the two to be as related as I now realize they are on some levels. I got my first tiny telescope (tiny compared to my current one that is only one inch shorter than me lol) when I was 13 and would spend HOURS looking through it. Looking at the night skies was the only time I ever, in my life, felt an at-home type of feeling. I learned all the galaxies, nebulae, and planets I could learn about. But I gravitated toward the planet Venus. I knew everything there was to know about that planet. Then, I started reading more and more about ancient Egypt. I was 16 when I bought a book that taught how to read and write hieroglyphics. And right about then, my life changed. I got pregnant with my first child. It was like my world did a complete 180. I eliminated as much negativity in my life as I could. No more smoking, drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, getting into trouble. My life suddenly was not just about me. I had a child to look after and I needed to find a positive path to raise her on.
Fast forward to present time. There were many ups and downs between then and now, but that is another story that would be much longer than this one. After being married, having 2 more children, and going to college on, I still found that deep down, the feelings of being not belonging here are still very much present. Late last summer/early fall, I felt an urge to learn more. Start my own soul search, if you will. I wanted, I needed to find whatever it was that I felt was missing or lacking in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life but when there is something missing, it doesn’t feel complete and having one small puzzle piece missing can be as bad as not having any put together at all sometimes. It wasn’t until February this year that I came across the LOO, and that gap started to fill up for me. It wasn’t instant though. It wasn’t until the beginning of last month that one night I decided to get my telescope out on a very clear night. I spent a few hours outside listening to some relaxing meditation-type music, and then I decided to call it a night. But before I put everything back in the garage, I wanted to lie on the ground and meditate. As I did, I felt and saw some things I never had before. My feet/legs/hands began to tingle, almost like that feeling when your arm or leg falls asleep, and then I started seeing flashes of colors. Many different colors. It started off as a purple, then blue, red, orange/yellowish, then back to purple. About a minute after this happened, my husband had come outside to check on me and thought I was asleep to he attempted to “wake me up.” Scared the crap out of me! Haha! But I went inside and immediately started looking up what those colors might have meant and even spoke to a friend of mine who is very familiar with LOO/chakras/meditation/etc and between what he mentioned and what I read from others online, it seemed that I was opening up some blockages I had in my chakras and that it’s fairly common to experience this. Ever since that night, it’s like a spark lit a fire and I was awake. I want to learn, no, remember as much as I can. I believe deep down, we already know everything we need to know. We just need to remember. And that is what I try to do every day. The more I remember, the more fulfilled and positive this life becomes. The more and more I want to help others and spread love to every other self. I’ve never felt more alive, more awake, than I do now. Of course, this is just the beginning to a long and wonderful journey, but I am enjoying every step of it. I still have much to learn/remember, but I am so very thankful to have this place with other selves who understand and who I can speak to. Much love, Naomi.
