Bring4th

Hola. This will be another personal post. Firstly, I realize that I have an addictive personality. Both of my parents are recovering alcoholics. Drugs in the conventional term weren't their problem..it was alcohol. My dad is bi-polar and suicidal and my mom was the typical female trying to kill pain with alcohol. Gee I wonder where I get my moodiness from!!

Anyway, I got through my first day of quitting tobacco for probably the 6th or 7th time. I'm only 29 years old and I noticed some discoloration on my right index fingernail. I'm like ..."yea time to quit FOR GOOD!" It just disgusts me that a legal product that kills 400,000 a year can do so much harm. I still ask myself why people smoke....it doesn't even do anything for you! People only smoke to relive the nicotine craving..thats it. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I first started smoking. My dad called me today and asked to come for dinner but I had to say no because he smokes like a chimney and his nails are ALL yellow and its pretty disgusting.

However, I admit that I have smoked cannabis for over 13 years, the last 6 or 7 years, smoking pretty much everyday. I enjoyed it tremendously, not because it "messes you up" but my mind would expand and new and strange ideas would emerge in my mind. Of course I would have an occasional scary thought pop in there or get paranoid. I was always responsible with it and respected it as much as I could.

I felt very empowered that I was different, but now, I have decided its time to walk away from it for a bit. The main reasons are that its too damn expensive (and getting ripped off!!!) and the people that I have met who use it turn out to be the questionable type. They just turn out to be lazy bums who end up taking advantage of you. I don't have any people I consider friends that don't smoke weed, so this will be a challenge. I must say that I am a loner anyway by nature so I can go a LONG time without friends or socializing. I'm very well adapted for it. And the people that I know who smoke weed drink alcohol in excess as well. It's just a stupid lifestyle and I just cannot be a part of it anymore. The one person I considered to be my friend (who was my connect) turned out to just be using me for rides to the casino while he was drunk. He's too damn inconsiderate even for me and I refuse to deal with such people. But anyway, I have no problem quitting weed for awhile. It's not physically addictive like tobacco and I couldn't smoke for a few months during the time of the Dark Night of the Soul post and got through it no problem...just smoked a lot of cigarettes.

As for alcohol, I never had an alcohol problem (and I pride myself on that!!) and I'll have a beer like once or year or something of that nature. But sometimes if I drink, I will drink just to get drunk and I can tell you with certainty that alcohol is a FAR FAR FARRRRRRRRRR more of a dangerous drug than cannabis, yet it is completely legal and sanctioned by society. This is because the majority of society are uneducated sheep. I know that may offend some members here who drink, but I really don't care.

I don't go to bars or out anywhere since I'm pretty much anti-social and the only hobbies are have are video games, reading, and studying metaphysics. I'm quite boring and I wish to remain that way until my last day on this planet

I also went through a recent period of cleansing (including the quitting of tobacco).
I must say it has helped me relieve a lot of bodily tension and increased my ability to breathe quite a bit as well.
I plan on continuing to smoke marijuana but at a much lesser rate and I will stop when I feel comfortable, not when I am ripped.
As for alcohol, I have drank perhaps 2 or 3 beers in the last month.
I encourage you to continue in your path of cleansing and I hope that all goes well for you my friend. I know your struggle.

Great Spirit--try hiking in the wilderness, or in isolated rural areas if true wilderness isn't available to you. You might find it a great tonic.

I mis-read the title 'drugs, alcohol ARE friends' lol.
Guess I say no more.

I quit drinking ten or more years ago. Pretty weird when you understand you are making the choice of allowing possession. They used to call it drinking spirits.

you're not boring, people who go out to clubs are more boring. why is clubbing seen as less boring than reading?

i don't like to be dependent on drugs but i am always attached to alcohol, i love making drinks even when i don't want to drink them. and i feel the weakness that pulls me in. it's the question, can i go this day without it? if i quit alcohol it lasts for a few months or something and i get all purist about not drinking but if i have one drink, which i'll eventually will be pressured into doing or just miss the feeling, i'll go back to drinking daily. it's that little voice.

I went through a similiar evolution.

Although I don't keep any weed at home because 1) I like having/remembering my dreams and because 2) my contemplations these are far more profound while sober - the weed just started to have more of a paranoia effect after several years of heavy smoking.

That being said, I have smoked a few times per year when the night is winding down with my closest friends who are young professionals who also smoke pot (down from smoking a bowl daily about two years back).

Weed definitely felt like it opened up new doors for me that I walked through.

(05-14-2012, 11:16 PM)Oceania Wrote: [ -> ]it's that little voice.

Does that voice have a name?

yeah Drinky McTavern