Bring4th

Not sure where to begin..about a year ago I was and have been agnostic for quite some time. Had always done things from the heart, I was introduced to Eckhart Tolle and was working with a few Mormon's. Being open I took some influences from both ideologies that I felt made sense and implemented them into how I thought and felt about things. Well I woke up one day and felt like I was completely empty of anything negative, never have I felt so enlightened or my pineal gland working. My thoughts were non-existent and everything was more conceptualized. I would meditate and just vanish into bliss like sleep but not quite. It was like I was emitting light energy everywhere I went. This was going on for a few week's and coincidences just kept happening, I was downtown meeting an ex-girlfriend/best friend and when we split I ran into this guy that was a musician and we started to hang out and asked if I wanted to smoke at his car so we started heading away from downtown towards his car and he made an off hand comment about killing someone in his car tonight. Odd/freaked me out and start of mild paranoia. I eventually brushed it off and he wanted me to help him with his music in terms of idea's or getting his idea's on paper so we planned to meet up the next night at a bar with few of his friends. After I split from him was walking and I ran into a guy that was a tattoo artist and he had to stop me and gave me his card which had pyramid and eye on it, was like we were communicating somehow through energy when ran into each other. Anyway the next evening meet up with the musician and his friend's which were opening that night for another bar in a few hours. Went to the show hung out and we decided to meet up again the next night to work on his music. So I meet him at his girlfriend's house where six-seven people all shared a big house. During that night he pull's a gun out of his bag, showed that it wasn't loaded and then start's showing off his homemade bullets. After that comment and now this I was starting to get freaked I just left out the front door, him and his girlfriend insisted I go for a ride with them before I left. I left and never spoke to them again. That was weird. And it took me a few days to get ride of any fear and paranoia but I was fine. Then one night I got pulled over, I had a marijuana pipe on me and gave me a ticket, doesn't bother me, I'm not a criminal by any means but smoke (When I smoked it would enhance my feelings of enlightenment/understanding of my higher self and I would vibrate at really high levels, all sounds kinda weird being that I've been agnostic but it all made sense). Well I went to court for a friend of mine and while we were in the courtroom I started to vibrate at a higher rate then I had ever before and then that cop walks in with two other men and instantly stopped. The cop and one of them sat a few people down from me and the other guy directly in front of me two rows. One of the layers asked the guy in front of me if he needed help and he just shook his head slowly. All this is kinda ridiculous but it was like they were there for me and because I was vibrating. Plenty of reason's other than that they could be there but it was just weird. Well getting to the point It was like some group or something had noticed me. Here is a song by
Thurston Moore called Space on Demolished Thoughts -

I used to have all the time in the world
Cruising galaxies in search of gold
Another planet with no one home
It was only a matter of time
Before the space police discovered my crime

Forbidden visions etched in stone
Makes no difference to my death wish ray
Hearts get broken every day
Your undying lover is here and gone

I didn't necessarily think I was from somewhere else but at time's it was like my consciousness was traveling galaxies, I don't know how to explain it. But I started to let fear get to me because it felt like people were after me (I know it could have been imagined be me but I had even more instances where people where trying to get at me) and one day everything just shifted in the lower back part of my head, almost like the world shifted off it's axis and I could feel it. Ever since that moment nothing has been the same. It's been about eight month's and I've had a constant feeling in the lower back part of my head, not really sure how to describe it. Lost touch with my higher self and it's like depression is being jammed down my throat even though I can manage. The hardest thing to deal with is feeling one with everything to feeling lost. I can still feel love in my heart but my head is completely scattered. Not sure what happened to me or if I'll be alright. I've been apprehensive to meditate or do anything productive. Been to some really dark places the last eight month's and just trying to push through it. Just wanted somewhere to talk about what happened and find out if anyone has any insights.

Thank you very much 43245 for sharing. Your story is fascinating.
It sounds to me (this is merely a guess based on speculation) that you have experienced 3rd density on another planet, and you are now here to learn different lessons that earth may better provide for you.
Wherever you come from is somewhat irrelavent. The higher self is never out of touch, its your own static that disrupts the signal.
Ask him to guide you..to protect you. The higherself will never ignore these requests.

Become aware that of which is holding you back. Focus on it. Meditate on it. Contemplate it and don't foget to also cut yourself a break! We have all the time in the universe to learn and do whatever is needed to learn and do!

Much love my brother.
Adonai

Welcome number 43245 ,D

One is never truly "lost", only confused and that's okay. What ever is happening to you is with a reason, its something which will let you grow. All is well my friend, light shines brightest in the dark. Do what you think/feel you need to do and it will work itself out, one way or a another the seeming darkness will dissolve and light will shine once again.
What ever the circumstance know that you are loved and what is, is for you to accept.



Day becomes night and night becomes day, both are.

Thank you for sharing you're story .)

Ahh, you actually managed to get lost? I love that feeling. Its getting harder for me to get lost anymore and its starting to get dull in some ways because of it.

Enjoy that feeling brother/sister <3 =)

PS: That is in no way an invitation to "help me get lost" i am doing quite well on that on my own thanks, simply reminding someone that there is great value in confusion, especially unresisting confusion.

When you are lost, you need only one bit of information to know where you are "lost". But when you are somewhere, you need so much more to rememeber where you are. So, when you are lost, you have the benefit that all directions are towards "more clarity" and you are literally in the point of least possible difficulty in existence. No responsibility because you are lost, on a journey made by your higher self because if you are lost, it certainly cant be, in my experience the less you control/are aware, the more your higher self has a chance to play around with you. The stuff that it does right now, will seem super funny later on once you no longer feel lost. YOu'll crack up at it sooooo bad =D.

*hug* take care, dont worry about being lost, you only closed your eyes.

Thanks palindromic for you reply and how you refer to higher self as almost separate entity but I imagine still whole, well I experienced my higher self, I believe two times before that incident happened and the feeling started in the back of my head. Each time I had smoked spice and it was like we were connected and I asked if this was real and he told me yes and to grab a piece of paper. At first the connection was weak and I can't remember what exactly I wrote out but remember name was Praxis from Andromeda and that he had been taken prisoner for a period of time. Which sounds little out there for me and would question mental health issues but it only happened for a short period of time when I could make the connection strongest through using spice. I had been filling up a journal with sketches and writings that next day and in one sketch I started at the top right of the page and just moved my pen back and forth in one full motion to the bottom right and it ended up a cyclops lying up against a tree. My hand would basically do it for more once I put it to paper. On one page I drew an Ankh/head of the falcon(Ra)/eye of horus and that next night decided to smoke again to make a connection. Well I first smoked and right away my heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest and that I was in a place covered in fire, (not hallucinating but what I was experiences through my inner eye) without any thought I grabbed the journal and opened right to the page with the Ankh on it and held it outright and I was encircled by a bright light will still in the fire and my heart started to slow down. I'm not really sure what any of it meant. After a maybe ten minutes the fire and light subsided and had a weak connection with Praxis for maybe another ten minutes. I don't have the writing's anymore because I burnt the journal.. Another story but the next day I found my heart to be the center of everything. I felt like one with the universe and trusted/understood myself like never before. I didn't get much sleep and called my sister to take me to the hospital for the lack of sleep. My sister work's at a Behavioral Health Hospital and I had told her in the past that I felt like I was being followed and basically talked me into admitting myself. I've had no mental health issue's in my past and it all seemed like a joke to me because there was a % of possibility that I was being followed based on certain events. The doctor decided within one ten minute consultation that I was bi-polar because I had barley slept in the past three day's thinking I had a manic episode and was put on medication. I got out after three days and everything was fine. Felt slightly different due to the medication but still myself. My younger brother drew me a picture as a Christmas present -



During the time I got out I was smoking marijuana and had problems with controlling my heart rate each time but continued to do so. Well after about two weeks after I got out I decided to smoke in the afternoon and my heart was out of control again so I walked outside to get some air. While I was outside that was when I felt that shift in the lower back part of my head. Ever since that exact moment I've had a slight pain in the lower back part of my head where the fuse being lite is at on the drawing of the back of the head. It was like my brother was trying to warn me about what was going to happen. In the eight months that have passed I don't take any medication and had the bi polar diagnosis reversed but the feeling in the back of my head won't go away. The drawing is what I keep coming back to though. The being in the center is under attacked and trying to be stopped before the coils/soul/not really sure comes out of he mouth. I believe through feeling that I am the being in the center and that my brother is to the left sitting on the lotus in our higher forms. He isn't aware of anything concerning higher densities of anything to do with this stuff. Now I just feel disconnected from myself and that my pineal gland or something in my head has been destroyed. I'm not entirely sure it is my pineal gland but it's a discomfort on the back of my head that won't go away. I can still understand and feel through my heart but my head is messed up. Can a pineal gland actually be destroyed? Has anyone heard of beings being targeted or attacked? Any response would help or interpretations of the picture, I'm just trying to get a better understanding of what happened.

This world is very intense. I went through something similar. When you first awaken, you quickly become under psychic attack (mainly from 4d negative beings). This gives you opportunities to process your fears by bringing them to the surface. As more and more fears are released, you start being less and less vulnerable to psychic attack. Until a point when you no longer experience them. Of course STS entities are not doing it to help you, but it has this effect of helping you anyway. If, of course, you succeed in processing your fears. Which I'm sure you are able to. Each of us is able to.

(08-29-2012, 08:57 AM)Patrick Wrote: [ -> ]This world is very intense. I went through something similar. When you first awaken, you quickly become under psychic attack (mainly from 4d negative beings). This gives you opportunities to process your fears by bringing them to the surface. As more and more fears are released, you start being less and less vulnerable to psychic attack. Until a point when you no longer experience them. Of course STS entities are not doing it to help you, but it has this effect of helping you anyway. If, of course, you succeed in processing your fears. Which I'm sure you are able to. Each of us is able to.

UV light isnt shining on you to help you, its just shining on you, it will help non the less.

(08-29-2012, 08:57 AM)Patrick Wrote: [ -> ]This world is very intense. I went through something similar. When you first awaken, you quickly become under psychic attack (mainly from 4d negative beings). This gives you opportunities to process your fears by bringing them to the surface. As more and more fears are released, you start being less and less vulnerable to psychic attack. Until a point when you no longer experience them. Of course STS entities are not doing it to help you, but it has this effect of helping you anyway. If, of course, you succeed in processing your fears. Which I'm sure you are able to. Each of us is able to.

Indeed, I had 3 mental breakdowns after I awoke. The first was the most fearful because it felt like my world was literally shaken violently and my mind couldn't cope. In the 2nd I thought I was going to hell. And the 3rd I was being pulled to hell in the form of a black hole. But balanced between this was feelings of being in heaven. I do crazy things when I think I've graduated. It lets me know who I truly am.

(08-29-2012, 10:15 AM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]

(08-29-2012, 08:57 AM)Patrick Wrote: [ -> ]This world is very intense. I went through something similar. When you first awaken, you quickly become under psychic attack (mainly from 4d negative beings). This gives you opportunities to process your fears by bringing them to the surface. As more and more fears are released, you start being less and less vulnerable to psychic attack. Until a point when you no longer experience them. Of course STS entities are not doing it to help you, but it has this effect of helping you anyway. If, of course, you succeed in processing your fears. Which I'm sure you are able to. Each of us is able to.

Indeed, I had 3 mental breakdowns after I awoke. The first was the most fearful because it felt like my world was literally shaken violently and my mind couldn't cope. In the 2nd I thought I was going to hell. And the 3rd I was being pulled to hell in the form of a black hole. But balanced between this was feelings of being in heaven. I do crazy things when I think I've graduated. It lets me know who I truly am.

My low point was when I started reading a book on exorcism and at the same time was reading the Hidden Hand material, I started feeling pressure on my forehead. I thought I was getting the mark of the beast. That freaked me out at first.

My freakiest thing was when I thought I had created a beautiful Universe within me, but then I had violated the free will of everyone in it, and was punished by being pulled to the negative 4D. Thought I was being harvested negative. I felt a strong pressure in my solar plexus that I thought was separating me from everyone else.

There was a quote on this board before that said something like "if people around you are smiling and kind for the most part, then you've already made it." I see more and more quotes that suggest that we've graduated in the positive sense. There are other quotes that people have said that I wished I had saved. They would have made a good thread.

ALIEN IMPLANT!
jk haha. it isn't totally out of the question though...might want to get an xray?

in the mean time I advise taking part of meditated sessions that focus healing energies full of light on areas that cause you discomfort

I've also had those weird experiences feeling like being pulled into hell for a moment in time, at one point I was able to see/more feel everyone in their higherself, but the majority of it was uplifting and a feeling of oneness until that happened with the back of my head. Alien implant sounds plausible, what would that even mean if that was possible the case? Can I be stuck to repeat the cycle in 3d? How long is a cycle? My heart still feels love and wholeness by my head is scattered, I can bypass it at times but it still bothers me every moment of every day for past eight months.. uggh it can be overwhelming at times. I've been wanting to get an x-ray but havn't. Honestly it will not go away but I'm going to work on those meditated sessions and just stay positive.

also experimenting with binarual beats and different rem cycles might help your brain out. don't fret over graduation or possibly repeating a 3d incarnation. these worrisome thoughts are unhealthy and when you die and go back to source, all things will be known agai. you'll be able to see in full perspective all that you have achieved already.

whatever is happening in your brain, let it unfold as it should but ask for guidence and healing as well.

do not fear brother. everything is as it should be.

I had a meditation session last night and it really helped out my energy centers and it made me realize that I shouldn't worry what will happen and just let everything take it's course. As the alien implant goes I was thinking in a more figurative way but I'm just going to try and work around it from now on until I can get a cat scan and see if it is chemical altered in that specific spot or damaged but until then I'll work on being persistent with experimenting and meditation.