Brittany
09-06-2012, 01:28 PM
My birthday is in less than a week, so I’ve decided to keep with my yearly tradition of reviewing the year and noting the most valuable lessons learned therein. This year was especially wild, and some of the lessons were especially tough, but I also feel as if I have learned and progressed more in this year than the rest of my life put together. In an attempt to avoid sounding preachy, I will do my best to relate these lessons according to my own experience.
1. The ability to display complete and utter honesty with the Self is likely the most valuable tool a seeker can acquire. The brighter any being shines, the more potent their shadows become, and staring into that shadow and accepting it as Self has been by far the most difficult lesson for me to assimilate in this lifetime. It has been so easy to project my fears onto others, to create villains and enemies for myself, and to make myself into a helpless victim ever-beset by suffering, all to avoid having to stare at my own reflection and take responsibility for the reality I have created. It is very tempting to stare in horror at a world that seems to have gone mad and see it as foreign and “Other”, but what is seen on the outside is always reflected within. In Truth, there is no one who can harm me save my Self. There is no situation that relieves me of the responsibility of consciously choosing how I respond to each moment of existence.
Beyond communication with others, honest communication with Self is, in my opinion at least, the pinnacle of an open blue ray. Once you can be completely honest with yourself, the rest follows naturally. The amount of courage and humility required to stand naked before oneself, hiding nothing and saying “Here I am, as I am, teach me.” is profound and, quite honestly, it often still scares me to death. However, once it is acquired, this open, transparent state of being allows tranquility to be experienced in the face of wrath, patience in the face of chaos and love in the face of fear. Transparency of self allows for transparency of the environment around the self, ushering in an existence of contentment and grace that is far from the landscape of bloodstained horror that forms the general perception of this planet.
2. The people that annoy you the most- the ones that just get under your skin and make you want to scream and pull your hair out- these are the people who have the greatest gifts to offer you. They are the ones you should be most grateful to, for they are taking on the burden of offering the more difficult reflections of self that would otherwise remain hidden. They agreed to be especially potent mirrors for those uncomfortable places deep within the Self - the ones with jagged edges that are usually ignored because attempting to work with them is painful. As easy as these people are to vilify, they are actually gateways into higher consciousness.
Several times this year I have had to swallow a lot of pride, get down on my knees and tell people I just couldn’t stand “I was wrong, you were right, and I’m sorry.” In all honesty, committing seppuku seemed a more appealing option, but the cleansing brought about by this relinquishing of ego was akin to having years and years of dirt washed away from my skin. Gods, it hurt, but often the hurt is just a sign of the healing. This inspired me to go a step farther and offer love and truce to individuals I have been at odds with, even if we continue to disagree on certain topics, and I have succeeded in becoming good friends with some of those I literally wanted to kill mere months ago. My friends, the dissonance is an illusion. Once the mirror is acknowledged and the emotional charge released, I would wager anyone and everyone would be surprised to see the behavior of their mortal enemies transform in an instant. We are all gifts to one another. Each is blessed.
3. Great lessons are great gifts, and they tend to occupy especially lofty shrines in our memories and focus. It is well to remember that which has been learned, lest we enter into the insanity of doing the same thing repeatedly whilst expecting different results. However, there comes a time when it is best to acknowledge that which has been learned and move forward, onto new lessons, instead of continually clinging to a grade which has already been passed.
Many of you have heard me speak of the Lucifer Cycle- the descent of the soul out of light and into the darkness, only to have the wisdom of the shadow propel it back into the light. I consider myself blessed to have walked this cycle, yet I have found myself stepping back into the circle instead of taking the obvious exit sitting in front of me. Even after my own redemption I have remained intent on studying the darkness, afraid to turn forward in fear that a part of myself will be lost. I have clung to the identity of Lucifer, as well as other potent personas, horribly afraid of simply letting go and allowing myself to Be.
My wish is to drop the shackles of over-identification that have chained me to my past, and to become a transparent vessel for the Creator’s Light to fill, for within the Creator’s Light there is no separation, and all parts of the Self are unified and at peace. This is not to say I wish to cast off my personality or sense of being, but that I desire to take this unified self and turn it toward a singular higher ideal in service and Love. From now on, though I am many, I act as One. You all have heard me call myself many things, and now I simply and humbly kneel before you and say “Here I AM,” and offer you my truest and purest radiance of Self without affiliation or explanation. My being is the highest gift I can offer. Ultimately it is all I can offer, and it is yours as it is with unconditional Love.
4. It is important to be mindful of the things we think about. As we shift into a higher level of vibration, the ability to instantaneously manifest our thoughts into reality grows ever more potent. The planet is now being filled with the thought forms of those who are unaware of their own power to direct reality. I created numerous very nasty thought forms with my own fear and self hatred, that caused me all sorts of pain and suffering before I managed to realize I was their place of origin. It is, to put it bluntly, a huge pain in the ass to re-integrate a rogue thought form, and is far easier to simply cultivate mindfulness to begin with.
I’m not saying it is bad to let your thoughts roam, to daydream, to fantasize, and even to express the blackest and most negative of thoughts. In fact, repressing negative emotions is the quickest way to generate a malevolent thought form. What I AM saying, is that it is important to keep track of one’s thought process- to note the waves and patterns and be mindful of what biases or stimuli might be creating them. I do not consider it wise to simply take the thought process for granted, for within it are lessons to be studied and experience to be gained. Are your thoughts in line with your objectives? If not, it might be time to consciously choose a different train of thought.
Directly related to what I said above, understanding the base causes of surface emotions has become a very important lesson for me this year. Something happens. I get angry. I automatically assume I am angry because of the singular stimuli that triggered the anger. This is rarely the case, however. Often those things which arouse strong emotions are simply triggers upon triggers, and can be traced all the way back to events in early childhood. Early childhood is when the mind is most impressionable, and the things that happen in these years usually make a strong imprint on how we will think and behave for the rest of the incarnation. Until the original source of trauma is healed, the stimuli will present itself again and again. You will never learn to control your anger, love yourself or be more patient until you discover what caused you to become angry, self-hating and impatient to begin with.
The connection of this process to the state of Self-Love has become especially evident to me this year. When we are innocent, young children, we do not hate ourselves. We are incapable of hating anything. We trust everyone and view the world with wonder. It is only when an other self or some other environmental factor impresses upon us that we are unacceptable that we begin to doubt ourselves. In our beginnings we were perfect, simply because we believed ourselves to be, and now we’ve simply blinded ourselves to the fact that that perfection is still right there, waiting to be picked up again.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Self-Hate has got to go. It might seem like hating yourself is a means of expressing honesty or humility, but ultimately this converts down to throwing a pity party for the self instead of stepping up and saying “Screw what those guys say, I CAN!” Self-Hate is one of the most destructive, merciless forces in existence, and it has no place in a new age of Love. It is time to go deep within and find that Inner Child that has been downtrodden by all the expectations of the “adult” world, reunite with that child and become that innocent, perfect being you always were.
When I finally stood face-to-face with my Inner Child after years of ignoring and criticizing her, she was a wretched sight to behold, and I had to get down on my knees and beg her for forgiveness. Most of my existence, even from early childhood, has been a gravity well of self depreciation, leading to deep depression and over a decade of constant suicidal thoughts. And when I look back on it now, I see how utterly silly and illusory those thought patterns were. No longer am I leaning back on that excuse to avoid stepping up to the plate and doing all the work involved in being ALL I can be. F**k Self-Hate. I’m awesome.
5. Don’t forget to breathe. Since my spiritual awakening, I’ve found myself caught up in the following of so many paths and practices that I’ve scarcely had time to stop and enjoy the scenery. I’ve stressed myself nearly to death trying to be of service in as many ways as possible, ignoring the fact that simply being myself is the highest service I can offer, and quite often I’ve found myself feeling drained and just plain burnt out. It is so easy to believe that the quickest way to enlightenment is to cram as much intense, serious seeking into each day as possible, or to enslave yourself to others and give away all of your time in an attempt to be of critical service.
However, I’ve realized that Play is one of the Creator’s greatest gifts. This world is a playground for us to experiment and learn upon. Once Joy has been removed from the equation, everything else becomes a cheap imitation of self-righteous satisfaction. The core nature of the universe- the pulse of the Creator- is Laughter, so make sure you set aside some time for fun, even if it means putting down your studies or saying ‘no’ to others once in a while!!! And don’t be afraid to be silly! It is in these light, carefree moments that profound truths often present themselves.
Birthday 26: http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=3239
Birthday 25: http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=1564
1. The ability to display complete and utter honesty with the Self is likely the most valuable tool a seeker can acquire. The brighter any being shines, the more potent their shadows become, and staring into that shadow and accepting it as Self has been by far the most difficult lesson for me to assimilate in this lifetime. It has been so easy to project my fears onto others, to create villains and enemies for myself, and to make myself into a helpless victim ever-beset by suffering, all to avoid having to stare at my own reflection and take responsibility for the reality I have created. It is very tempting to stare in horror at a world that seems to have gone mad and see it as foreign and “Other”, but what is seen on the outside is always reflected within. In Truth, there is no one who can harm me save my Self. There is no situation that relieves me of the responsibility of consciously choosing how I respond to each moment of existence.
Beyond communication with others, honest communication with Self is, in my opinion at least, the pinnacle of an open blue ray. Once you can be completely honest with yourself, the rest follows naturally. The amount of courage and humility required to stand naked before oneself, hiding nothing and saying “Here I am, as I am, teach me.” is profound and, quite honestly, it often still scares me to death. However, once it is acquired, this open, transparent state of being allows tranquility to be experienced in the face of wrath, patience in the face of chaos and love in the face of fear. Transparency of self allows for transparency of the environment around the self, ushering in an existence of contentment and grace that is far from the landscape of bloodstained horror that forms the general perception of this planet.
2. The people that annoy you the most- the ones that just get under your skin and make you want to scream and pull your hair out- these are the people who have the greatest gifts to offer you. They are the ones you should be most grateful to, for they are taking on the burden of offering the more difficult reflections of self that would otherwise remain hidden. They agreed to be especially potent mirrors for those uncomfortable places deep within the Self - the ones with jagged edges that are usually ignored because attempting to work with them is painful. As easy as these people are to vilify, they are actually gateways into higher consciousness.
Several times this year I have had to swallow a lot of pride, get down on my knees and tell people I just couldn’t stand “I was wrong, you were right, and I’m sorry.” In all honesty, committing seppuku seemed a more appealing option, but the cleansing brought about by this relinquishing of ego was akin to having years and years of dirt washed away from my skin. Gods, it hurt, but often the hurt is just a sign of the healing. This inspired me to go a step farther and offer love and truce to individuals I have been at odds with, even if we continue to disagree on certain topics, and I have succeeded in becoming good friends with some of those I literally wanted to kill mere months ago. My friends, the dissonance is an illusion. Once the mirror is acknowledged and the emotional charge released, I would wager anyone and everyone would be surprised to see the behavior of their mortal enemies transform in an instant. We are all gifts to one another. Each is blessed.
3. Great lessons are great gifts, and they tend to occupy especially lofty shrines in our memories and focus. It is well to remember that which has been learned, lest we enter into the insanity of doing the same thing repeatedly whilst expecting different results. However, there comes a time when it is best to acknowledge that which has been learned and move forward, onto new lessons, instead of continually clinging to a grade which has already been passed.
Many of you have heard me speak of the Lucifer Cycle- the descent of the soul out of light and into the darkness, only to have the wisdom of the shadow propel it back into the light. I consider myself blessed to have walked this cycle, yet I have found myself stepping back into the circle instead of taking the obvious exit sitting in front of me. Even after my own redemption I have remained intent on studying the darkness, afraid to turn forward in fear that a part of myself will be lost. I have clung to the identity of Lucifer, as well as other potent personas, horribly afraid of simply letting go and allowing myself to Be.
My wish is to drop the shackles of over-identification that have chained me to my past, and to become a transparent vessel for the Creator’s Light to fill, for within the Creator’s Light there is no separation, and all parts of the Self are unified and at peace. This is not to say I wish to cast off my personality or sense of being, but that I desire to take this unified self and turn it toward a singular higher ideal in service and Love. From now on, though I am many, I act as One. You all have heard me call myself many things, and now I simply and humbly kneel before you and say “Here I AM,” and offer you my truest and purest radiance of Self without affiliation or explanation. My being is the highest gift I can offer. Ultimately it is all I can offer, and it is yours as it is with unconditional Love.
4. It is important to be mindful of the things we think about. As we shift into a higher level of vibration, the ability to instantaneously manifest our thoughts into reality grows ever more potent. The planet is now being filled with the thought forms of those who are unaware of their own power to direct reality. I created numerous very nasty thought forms with my own fear and self hatred, that caused me all sorts of pain and suffering before I managed to realize I was their place of origin. It is, to put it bluntly, a huge pain in the ass to re-integrate a rogue thought form, and is far easier to simply cultivate mindfulness to begin with.
I’m not saying it is bad to let your thoughts roam, to daydream, to fantasize, and even to express the blackest and most negative of thoughts. In fact, repressing negative emotions is the quickest way to generate a malevolent thought form. What I AM saying, is that it is important to keep track of one’s thought process- to note the waves and patterns and be mindful of what biases or stimuli might be creating them. I do not consider it wise to simply take the thought process for granted, for within it are lessons to be studied and experience to be gained. Are your thoughts in line with your objectives? If not, it might be time to consciously choose a different train of thought.
Directly related to what I said above, understanding the base causes of surface emotions has become a very important lesson for me this year. Something happens. I get angry. I automatically assume I am angry because of the singular stimuli that triggered the anger. This is rarely the case, however. Often those things which arouse strong emotions are simply triggers upon triggers, and can be traced all the way back to events in early childhood. Early childhood is when the mind is most impressionable, and the things that happen in these years usually make a strong imprint on how we will think and behave for the rest of the incarnation. Until the original source of trauma is healed, the stimuli will present itself again and again. You will never learn to control your anger, love yourself or be more patient until you discover what caused you to become angry, self-hating and impatient to begin with.
The connection of this process to the state of Self-Love has become especially evident to me this year. When we are innocent, young children, we do not hate ourselves. We are incapable of hating anything. We trust everyone and view the world with wonder. It is only when an other self or some other environmental factor impresses upon us that we are unacceptable that we begin to doubt ourselves. In our beginnings we were perfect, simply because we believed ourselves to be, and now we’ve simply blinded ourselves to the fact that that perfection is still right there, waiting to be picked up again.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Self-Hate has got to go. It might seem like hating yourself is a means of expressing honesty or humility, but ultimately this converts down to throwing a pity party for the self instead of stepping up and saying “Screw what those guys say, I CAN!” Self-Hate is one of the most destructive, merciless forces in existence, and it has no place in a new age of Love. It is time to go deep within and find that Inner Child that has been downtrodden by all the expectations of the “adult” world, reunite with that child and become that innocent, perfect being you always were.
When I finally stood face-to-face with my Inner Child after years of ignoring and criticizing her, she was a wretched sight to behold, and I had to get down on my knees and beg her for forgiveness. Most of my existence, even from early childhood, has been a gravity well of self depreciation, leading to deep depression and over a decade of constant suicidal thoughts. And when I look back on it now, I see how utterly silly and illusory those thought patterns were. No longer am I leaning back on that excuse to avoid stepping up to the plate and doing all the work involved in being ALL I can be. F**k Self-Hate. I’m awesome.
5. Don’t forget to breathe. Since my spiritual awakening, I’ve found myself caught up in the following of so many paths and practices that I’ve scarcely had time to stop and enjoy the scenery. I’ve stressed myself nearly to death trying to be of service in as many ways as possible, ignoring the fact that simply being myself is the highest service I can offer, and quite often I’ve found myself feeling drained and just plain burnt out. It is so easy to believe that the quickest way to enlightenment is to cram as much intense, serious seeking into each day as possible, or to enslave yourself to others and give away all of your time in an attempt to be of critical service.
However, I’ve realized that Play is one of the Creator’s greatest gifts. This world is a playground for us to experiment and learn upon. Once Joy has been removed from the equation, everything else becomes a cheap imitation of self-righteous satisfaction. The core nature of the universe- the pulse of the Creator- is Laughter, so make sure you set aside some time for fun, even if it means putting down your studies or saying ‘no’ to others once in a while!!! And don’t be afraid to be silly! It is in these light, carefree moments that profound truths often present themselves.
Birthday 26: http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=3239
Birthday 25: http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=1564
).
