So. The darkness of the 4thD will slowly disintigrate 3d concepts leaving behind a higher plane of existence.
Which in turn will be devoured by a 5th density thought forms
which in turn will be devoured by 6th density thought form complexes (social memory complex)
These will then in turn all not plunge the mysteries of the 8th density (octave above) but realise that there are octaves above.
Does that not indicate that Ra is "my" thought and "I" am the 7.9999(infinite 9's approaching but never touching 8th) entity which projects downdward from those and Ra views itself as a "thought" which is striving to "return to" me.
Which in its point of view would be for it to more and more love me as a grow as an individuated (self serving) entity, without which neither 6.5 or above nor 7.999 or below could exists, but since neither has a lower limit, selfishness is the only way anything can exists
And I must selfishly believe this structure exists because only by using this structure as it is the best that "ra" has found to visualize the structure of the afterlife while taking into account all the witnessed and proven phenomena (afterlives and what not) and from all of that eventually to the god self and back.
Kind of like. The density model isnt true, but for how I perceive reality, it is as close as it can ever be. And by ever i mean within this octave of existence.
So belief in this system guarantees, essentially, a reincarnative full awareness of once place and destiny and former places and destinies based on known predispositions and future based on known options available and known results of those choices based on bast ("ra" notes: Leave it in, Bast will like it)predispositions which are all based on former assumptions and so on.
Therefore it is possible to both create everything and to not know anything. It is then possible to have full faith in the statement that all is well and i know nothing at the same time. That is to say, have Faith. Dunno. Feel like i don't need to worry despite how dark i may project because the best outcome will always manifest itself regardless of my limitations if i simply grasp the right moments as the emotion rises so all i need to focus on is listening to those flickers of the heart.
I feel like the time for me to stop doing delics every day is drawing closer and closer as i come more and more lucid of who I am after the winter. I Still cant maintain belief in this self but i know it is the "primarch" me and can be aware of a higher truth that i feel that i have lost in the winter 2011-2012 but feel i may have now gotten to know again, on a first name basis.
It feels good.
Any life or afterlife or future life or paraller or alternative life is possible because it is the only way things work. To become aware of this within a lifetime is, what exactly?
(felt like someone hit a loud sonic boom into my right ear and then to the top of my head a bit quieter and then left ear very quiet. as is aid that and saw a flash of buddha)
Then again, I have been meditating for 15 years now. Or so.
(most not in chronological order but notes fit when written, i hope you all like what is in it and find it somehow resonating and helpful as i try to paint petty colors on my version of the common human despair, i resonate with maybe 90% of your stories, they feel like they are mine and i dream them here for me to see. So when i say i feel good i feel i am radiating good into all of your stories as well through that. I dont know if its true but its something i've grown to love doing. Its difficult to maintain because it feels like there is an expectation that i must continue doing it if i start doing it. Also, STS here is that i want to document my thoughts and i feel better knowing that these are at least "out there" and if some resonance is had then its had, better than having them hidden on a folder marked "weird texts"
)
(hides away)
<3