Unbound
10-10-2012, 02:26 PM
This fascinating article was posted on my facebook today, and I thought it was very much worth sharing here because I feel it has some importance in regards to the notions of STO and STS that are in the thought patterns of this forum.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19876494?ref=nf
"Narcissism is a necessary form of love, Freud argued, because, as is now understood, human beings are born too early. A current theory in evolutionary biology suggests that we have to be born long before we are able to look after ourselves so that our oversized heads can navigate the birth canal. Dogs and cats, dolphins and apes, do not face such difficulties and so become independent relatively speedily.
As infants and then youths, we demand parental servitude not for weeks or months but years. His or Her Majesty the Baby."
"Narcissism is, then, the first form of love we know and to us such self-love appears to perform miracles.
You feel thirst and scream. As if by magic, sweet milk falls onto your expectant tongue. You experience discomfort and moan. The wetness and chill disappear. You want to sleep. Warm sheets and blankets enfold you.
The whole of life seems to be for the infant - in a way, to be the infant. It and the world are one."
"An infant must know that it's loved because only then can it trust the risky business of coming to love others. This first love resources us as life unfolds, bringing confidence and courage, spontaneity and drive, a sense of safety and of being grounded."
"The myth of Narcissus, for example, tells of the beautiful young man whose problem was not that he loved himself but that he couldn't love himself. In the story, he catches sight of himself in the forest pool and becomes transfixed by the image the still water reflects back. However, as he came closer to the face, and the face came closer to him, it disappeared at the moment their lips might have touched. As he reached out to hold the statuesque body, the lovely form dissolved in ripples of water.
Ted Hughes brilliantly translates this crucial section in Ovid's Metamorphoses: "Not recognising himself/ He wanted only himself."
This child, then, had not learnt to know himself as he was, and know that he was loved as he was. He had not developed the kind of narcissism that allowed him to feel comfortable in his own skin, at ease with himself."
"Aristotle picked up the theme, explaining that good self-love is vital for intimacy. For one thing, he noted, if you cannot befriend yourself, warts and all, then how can you possible expect to befriend anyone else, warts and all. After all, you are closer to yourself than anyone else. I remember myself as a teenager feeling anxious when meeting new people. Looking back, I can see now that the difficulty wasn't the new people. It was more that I was a stranger to myself.
What good self-love achieves, Aristotle continued, is the capacity to get over yourself. Then you are liberated to see that there's a world around you. You are not king or queen. Instead, you know you are one of many, and those many are there to love and be with, to be known by and to get to know. You have time for others because you do not need to have all the time for yourself. You are a delight to be with, having taken in the first love of your parents and now being able to live it yourself."
"Perhaps our understanding of ourselves has become too individualistic, too mechanical. We worry about autonomy more than connection, about freedom over commitment, about individual rights more than the common good.
It's as if the default image that the Western mind has of itself is the billiard ball. We jostle and bounce off each other for fear of touching and holding one another. Could the wariness of the word narcissism be because our culture is secretly, unhealthily, narcissistic? That's why we retreat from the word."
Once again, this seems to me to be a parallel expression of the first states of individuation, signified by Ialdebaoth or the Demiurge whom is only recognizing of themselves as the world.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19876494?ref=nf
"Narcissism is a necessary form of love, Freud argued, because, as is now understood, human beings are born too early. A current theory in evolutionary biology suggests that we have to be born long before we are able to look after ourselves so that our oversized heads can navigate the birth canal. Dogs and cats, dolphins and apes, do not face such difficulties and so become independent relatively speedily.
As infants and then youths, we demand parental servitude not for weeks or months but years. His or Her Majesty the Baby."
"Narcissism is, then, the first form of love we know and to us such self-love appears to perform miracles.
You feel thirst and scream. As if by magic, sweet milk falls onto your expectant tongue. You experience discomfort and moan. The wetness and chill disappear. You want to sleep. Warm sheets and blankets enfold you.
The whole of life seems to be for the infant - in a way, to be the infant. It and the world are one."
"An infant must know that it's loved because only then can it trust the risky business of coming to love others. This first love resources us as life unfolds, bringing confidence and courage, spontaneity and drive, a sense of safety and of being grounded."
"The myth of Narcissus, for example, tells of the beautiful young man whose problem was not that he loved himself but that he couldn't love himself. In the story, he catches sight of himself in the forest pool and becomes transfixed by the image the still water reflects back. However, as he came closer to the face, and the face came closer to him, it disappeared at the moment their lips might have touched. As he reached out to hold the statuesque body, the lovely form dissolved in ripples of water.
Ted Hughes brilliantly translates this crucial section in Ovid's Metamorphoses: "Not recognising himself/ He wanted only himself."
This child, then, had not learnt to know himself as he was, and know that he was loved as he was. He had not developed the kind of narcissism that allowed him to feel comfortable in his own skin, at ease with himself."
"Aristotle picked up the theme, explaining that good self-love is vital for intimacy. For one thing, he noted, if you cannot befriend yourself, warts and all, then how can you possible expect to befriend anyone else, warts and all. After all, you are closer to yourself than anyone else. I remember myself as a teenager feeling anxious when meeting new people. Looking back, I can see now that the difficulty wasn't the new people. It was more that I was a stranger to myself.
What good self-love achieves, Aristotle continued, is the capacity to get over yourself. Then you are liberated to see that there's a world around you. You are not king or queen. Instead, you know you are one of many, and those many are there to love and be with, to be known by and to get to know. You have time for others because you do not need to have all the time for yourself. You are a delight to be with, having taken in the first love of your parents and now being able to live it yourself."
"Perhaps our understanding of ourselves has become too individualistic, too mechanical. We worry about autonomy more than connection, about freedom over commitment, about individual rights more than the common good.
It's as if the default image that the Western mind has of itself is the billiard ball. We jostle and bounce off each other for fear of touching and holding one another. Could the wariness of the word narcissism be because our culture is secretly, unhealthily, narcissistic? That's why we retreat from the word."
Once again, this seems to me to be a parallel expression of the first states of individuation, signified by Ialdebaoth or the Demiurge whom is only recognizing of themselves as the world.