Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. I've been on a personal journey.
I need some input on a topic I can't fully tell anyone in my life about... It's been so difficult.
For the past four years, up until now, I've dealt with a full-body, skull to toes smoldering pain. It was a big factor in my suicide attempt two years ago.
Since then, I've decided that I WILL live, no matter how much pain comes, I will find the strength to endure it. But, sometimes all I can muster is to sit in silence, focusing; until the wave of pain subsides. The doctors can never make sense of what I describe.
Which brings me to a question -
Do you guys think that, if an entity were incarnated into a body that took ALL energy just to endure, that polarization, or service to self OR others, is even possible?
What would be the purpose of this, what could be accomplished?
It just bothers me that I can't be more to others, that I can only endure my own physical pain on a daily basis. I'm just not the same person anymore.
Why would a soul take on a body in such aggresive pain?
(10-21-2012, 02:07 AM)kdsii Wrote: [ -> ]Do you guys think that, if an entity were incarnated into a body that took ALL energy just to endure, that polarization, or service to self OR others, is even possible?
The moment you became conscious of "give and take", you started polarizing each moment towards the one or the other
(10-21-2012, 02:07 AM)kdsii Wrote: [ -> ]Why would a soul take on a body in such aggresive pain?
It is something which
you must remember, should you desire to know it. But the knowledge is not needed, only the action which brings you further along on the path you choose to take .)
These are my thoughts.
Worry not for all is well
... or do (as is needed) but know.. all is well still
what kinda pain?
is it like migraines? what?
(10-21-2012, 02:07 AM)kdsii Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. I've been on a personal journey.
I need some input on a topic I can't fully tell anyone in my life about... It's been so difficult.
For the past four years, up until now, I've dealt with a full-body, skull to toes smoldering pain. It was a big factor in my suicide attempt two years ago.
Since then, I've decided that I WILL live, no matter how much pain comes, I will find the strength to endure it. But, sometimes all I can muster is to sit in silence, focusing; until the wave of pain subsides. The doctors can never make sense of what I describe.
Which brings me to a question -
Do you guys think that, if an entity were incarnated into a body that took ALL energy just to endure, that polarization, or service to self OR others, is even possible?
What would be the purpose of this, what could be accomplished?
It just bothers me that I can't be more to others, that I can only endure my own physical pain on a daily basis. I'm just not the same person anymore.
Why would a soul take on a body in such aggresive pain?
im sorry to hear about your experiences and i cant imagine going through it myself. my heart goes out to you. Why would you pick such a lesson...im not sure. maybe its balancing for past karma. maybe you planned for exactly the choice youve made, that no matter the physical suffering u will remain with an open heart. im sorry. i just dont know what else to say. maybe someone with other experience can answer but i just wanted to wish you well and send my love.
p.s. theres nothing wrong with silence
It's possible that you are doing it as a service to others, that they may have an opportunity to learn to be selfless around you.
(10-21-2012, 03:13 AM)GentleReckoning Wrote: [ -> ]It's possible that you are doing it as a service to others, that they may have an opportunity to learn to be selfless around you.
Thanks for the replies everyone. I've learned through this though, that however intense the fire, the moment always just... is. There are many things to be happy about in my life, and it helps to focus on them.
I cant help but wonder though, at what point does a catalyst stop being a learning tool? When does the fire start to burn out the good inside? It sounds crazy, but I can feel the negative, thick air in the room after bouts of pain.
I was listening to Alan Watts (again
)
and he says that pain becomes tolerable or even vanishes altogether, when we learn to be completely in the moment.
our usual reaction to it is of course resistance and that makes it worse.
From my own personal experience with pain I know that it gets better when I focus on my breathing - and breathing also puts us back into the present moment.
I wish you well in dealing with this. We are here for you, brother.
(btw doing a past-life regression might help you find out the reason for the pain and thus overcome it.)
I wont list all my pains because that would give them energy.
You shouldnt either.
and
manages.
yes he should list them if it helps him find a cure.
(10-21-2012, 02:07 AM)kdsii Wrote: [ -> ]Do you guys think that, if [undefined=undefined]an entity were incarnated into a body that took ALL energy just to endure, that polarization, or service to self OR others, is even possible[/undefined]?
Dear kdsii, when I read your post, it brought the thought poignantly to me that when a person is laughing, the whole world can (and often will) join into that laughter. However, when an individual is crying in helpless despair, that person will often find himself alone and very lonely, both within and on the outside.
Apropos to your key question in your post, I think the Ra material offers some very good clues. First on the STO point of view in terms of debilitating physical pain --
Quote:Excerpted from 35.1: We shall now proceed to, shall we say, speak of the basic parameters of the one known as Franklin. When any entity comes into third-density incarnation, each of its energy centers is potentiated but must be activated by the self using experience.
The one known as Franklin developed very quickly up through red, orange, yellow, and green and began to work in the blue-ray energy center at a tender age, as you would say. This rapid growth was due, firstly, to previous achievements in the activation of these rays; secondly, to the relative comfort and leisure of its early existence; thirdly, due to the strong desire upon the part of the entity to progress. This entity mated with an entity whose blue-ray vibrations were of a strength more than equal to its own thus acquiring catalyst for further growth in that area that was to persist throughout the incarnation.
This entity had some difficulty with continued green-ray activity due to the excessive energy which was put into the activities regarding other-selves in the distortion towards acquiring power. This was to have its toll upon the physical vehicle, as you may call it. The limitation of the nonmovement of a portion of the physical vehicle opened once again, for this entity, the opportunity for concentration upon the more, shall we say, universal or idealistic aspects of power; that is, the nonabusive use of power. Thus at the outset of a bellicose action this entity had lost some positive polarity due to excessive use of the orange- and yellow-ray energies at the expense of green- and blue-ray energies, then had regained the polarity due to the catalytic effects of a painful limitation upon the physical complex.
Now on to the STS point of view or use of similar physically distressing catalysis --
Quote:54.22 Questioner: Would a negatively oriented entity do anything like this? Could you give me an example?
Ra: I am Ra. A negatively oriented individual mind/body/spirit complex will ordinarily program for wealth, ease of existence, and the utmost opportunity for power. Thus many negative entities burst with the physical complex distortion you call health.
However, a negatively oriented entity may choose a painful condition in order to improve the distortion toward the so-called negative emotive mentations such as anger, hatred, and frustration. Such an entity may use an entire incarnative experience honing a blunt edge of hatred or anger so that it may polarize more towards the negative or separated pole.