Hello all,
I really appreciate this site and how full of love everyone is. I love that there is a place to share our story on this forum and read others'. I hope I can keep my writing concise and to the point and not got too far out.
When I started this incarnation I was born into an independent-fundamental-baptist-church-going family. I know, it's quite the mouthful... Basically it is a super extreme branch of Christianity. You know, woman have to wear dresses, man have to have short hair, "if you don't believe what I believe, the way I believe it, you're going to hell!!" Crazy stuff really.
I guess I chose a lot of fun catalysts for this incarnation. My hands were/are definitely full of opportunities to learn and grow.
My dad was a closet homosexual his whole life growing up in that kind of environment and tried to "fix" his urges with getting married. He was a pastor, started a church and had my brother, sister and I. His mind kinda split apart into different personalities and was a pastor and husband on one side, and a partying gay on the other. Anyways, long story short he eventually got found out/came out and all the church people hated and rejected him. He ended up hating himself so much that he went extreme and was with so many different people that he contracted HIV and full blown aids and passed away when I was 6 yrs old. (Aids wasn't very treatable then) He was a wonderful person but never was loved or accepted his whole life for who he was. It taught me a startling truth about the need for love and acceptance. It was a whole bunch of drama in the family and just recently there has been reconciliation for the past and healing for old wounds.
I grew up with the most extreme step-dad in religious fundamentalism, and has quite a traumatic childhood. But throughout it all I always sought truth and had a deep connection to the supernatural and had vivid visions and dreams of spiritual things. In all of the dogmatism I learned great lessons and wouldn't have it any other way. My higher self was always taking care of me. It also, took a lot of forgiveness to move forward out of that pain. Even times now I look back and I feel tender wounds and have to forgive again
I eventually got free of that cult-church I was in and started thinking for myself and going on my own journey. I always had found peace, god, and truth in nature and praying/meditating in the forest alone. I started going to a charismatic church and saw spiritual things happen and got in touch with spirit. (With certain distortions, of course..)
I also got in touch with my creativity and started writing songs. I started working with another songwriter and within three years of writing with her we became close friends.
The church I was at was starting to use me for my talents and I was starting to realize my time there was coming to an end. I then quit an internship at the church (of which I was working 80hrs a week at for free) and my music partner felt she needed to move back home to seattle.
She told told me of her plans to move back home and at that exact time I had just cut the last ties to working at the church and also an unhealthy relationship. I knew in my spirit that I was supposed to be (working) with my music partner and asked to follow her home. She was ecstatic to have me come along. Then I had a vivid dream of the opposition I would receive from my family and friends for my decision to leave. The dream had many details I wrote down and every part came true. I also had multiple songs I had written that actually true within this time. I had a vision of my music partner and I becoming close. I was having crazy synchronicities confirming my faith filled decision of leaving home for a feeling in my spirit. I visited seattle (her hometown where I was planning to move) with my partner and then we fell in love on the trip and all my dreams, visions, and intuitions came together and made sense. Three years before she even know anything about me she had a dream that I dropped everything and followed her and was her soulmate. I randomly asked when she had the dream and it she checked her journal and it was on my birthday! She hadn't even known me back then.
So anyways we planned a road trip to drive to seattle from Chicago land area (my hometown). We ended up getting married in Vegas on the way to seattle (best road trip ever!) and had no jobs or place to live set up. We stayed with her parents and within two weeks of being in seattle we found an apartment and both of us got jobs after our first interviews. It was basically the archetype of the fool jumping on faith and the air solidifying. We were provided for every step of the way.
We tried church hopping to find community and friends in this new place and found a church and stayed there for a while. But my purpose of this season was awakening. I started seeking everything I could and found out the bible never once mentioned hell. It shook my world and I started seeking more. I soon stumbled across David wilcock's website and the stuff he was talking about really resonated and had scientific proof backing it. Of course it led me to the Law of One materials and when started reading book one I couldn't stop reading. Everything made sense!
I was immediately excited about my new-found knowledge/enlightenment and shared it with my wife. But she wasn't in a place to receive it. It brought a huge strain to our marriage and offered huge catalyst for me to learn about free will. She was trying to fit me into a duality mindset and I just couldn't see things as right and wrong anymore like a traditional Christian.
We then had much communication to work through these changes and just recently she is coming around to accept me and work together spiritually. She's very wary and fearful about Ra teaching me stuff, but she's been growing as have I in communicating in a way to bring unity in our views instead of division.
I awoke to my being a wanderer in reading "A wanderer's Handbook" and then it was as if light flooded my mind and I was awake. I'm now meditating, reading and soaking up spiritual literature, and working on tuning my chakras. I've started to know myself, accept myself , and become the creator. It's all about the process. I've basically become a new person since I awoke fully. I'm now seeking to find community with like-minded people, and seeking my spiritual teacher.
Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if my story is a little scattered.
Love/light to all,
Marc
(01-01-2013, 03:12 AM)MarcRammer Wrote: [ -> ]Hello all,
I really appreciate this site and how full of love everyone is. I love that there is a place to share our story on this forum and read others'. I hope I can keep my writing concise and to the point and not got too far out.
When I started this incarnation I was born into an independent-fundamental-baptist-church-going family. I know, it's quite the mouthful... Basically it is a super extreme branch of Christianity. You know, woman have to wear dresses, man have to have short hair, "if you don't believe what I believe, the way I believe it, you're going to hell!!" Crazy stuff really.
I guess I chose a lot of fun catalysts for this incarnation. My hands were/are definitely full of opportunities to learn and grow.
My dad was a closet homosexual his whole life growing up in that kind of environment and tried to "fix" his urges with getting married. He was a pastor, started a church and had my brother, sister and I. His mind kinda split apart into different personalities and was a pastor and husband on one side, and a partying gay on the other. Anyways, long story short he eventually got found out/came out and all the church people hated and rejected him. He ended up hating himself so much that he went extreme and was with so many different people that he contracted HIV and full blown aids and passed away when I was 6 yrs old. (Aids wasn't very treatable then) He was a wonderful person but never was loved or accepted his whole life for who he was. It taught me a startling truth about the need for love and acceptance. It was a whole bunch of drama in the family and just recently there has been reconciliation for the past and healing for old wounds.
I grew up with the most extreme step-dad in religious fundamentalism, and has quite a traumatic childhood. But throughout it all I always sought truth and had a deep connection to the supernatural and had vivid visions and dreams of spiritual things. In all of the dogmatism I learned great lessons and wouldn't have it any other way. My higher self was always taking care of me. It also, took a lot of forgiveness to move forward out of that pain. Even times now I look back and I feel tender wounds and have to forgive again
I eventually got free of that cult-church I was in and started thinking for myself and going on my own journey. I always had found peace, god, and truth in nature and praying/meditating in the forest alone. I started going to a charismatic church and saw spiritual things happen and got in touch with spirit. (With certain distortions, of course..)
I also got in touch with my creativity and started writing songs. I started working with another songwriter and within three years of writing with her we became close friends.
The church I was at was starting to use me for my talents and I was starting to realize my time there was coming to an end. I then quit an internship at the church (of which I was working 80hrs a week at for free) and my music partner felt she needed to move back home to seattle.
She told told me of her plans to move back home and at that exact time I had just cut the last ties to working at the church and also an unhealthy relationship. I knew in my spirit that I was supposed to be (working) with my music partner and asked to follow her home. She was ecstatic to have me come along. Then I had a vivid dream of the opposition I would receive from my family and friends for my decision to leave. The dream had many details I wrote down and every part came true. I also had multiple songs I had written that actually true within this time. I had a vision of my music partner and I becoming close. I was having crazy synchronicities confirming my faith filled decision of leaving home for a feeling in my spirit. I visited seattle (her hometown where I was planning to move) with my partner and then we fell in love on the trip and all my dreams, visions, and intuitions came together and made sense. Three years before she even know anything about me she had a dream that I dropped everything and followed her and was her soulmate. I randomly asked when she had the dream and it she checked her journal and it was on my birthday! She hadn't even known me back then.
So anyways we planned a road trip to drive to seattle from Chicago land area (my hometown). We ended up getting married in Vegas on the way to seattle (best road trip ever!) and had no jobs or place to live set up. We stayed with her parents and within two weeks of being in seattle we found an apartment and both of us got jobs after our first interviews. It was basically the archetype of the fool jumping on faith and the air solidifying. We were provided for every step of the way.
We tried church hopping to find community and friends in this new place and found a church and stayed there for a while. But my purpose of this season was awakening. I started seeking everything I could and found out the bible never once mentioned hell. It shook my world and I started seeking more. I soon stumbled across David wilcock's website and the stuff he was talking about really resonated and had scientific proof backing it. Of course it led me to the Law of One materials and when started reading book one I couldn't stop reading. Everything made sense!
I was immediately excited about my new-found knowledge/enlightenment and shared it with my wife. But she wasn't in a place to receive it. It brought a huge strain to our marriage and offered huge catalyst for me to learn about free will. She was trying to fit me into a duality mindset and I just couldn't see things as right and wrong anymore like a traditional Christian.
We then had much communication to work through these changes and just recently she is coming around to accept me and work together spiritually. She's very wary and fearful about Ra teaching me stuff, but she's been growing as have I in communicating in a way to bring unity in our views instead of division.
I awoke to my being a wanderer in reading "A wanderer's Handbook" and then it was as if light flooded my mind and I was awake. I'm now meditating, reading and soaking up spiritual literature, and working on tuning my chakras. I've started to know myself, accept myself , and become the creator. It's all about the process. I've basically become a new person since I awoke fully. I'm now seeking to find community with like-minded people, and seeking my spiritual teacher.
Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if my story is a little scattered.
Love/light to all,
Marc
wonderful story brother, thank u for sharing
We are ever alone in our discernment of matters pertaining to our existence.
This is why 'club's built around such effort will always fail in that individual, intimate speculation cannot be compatible as a whole.
Welcome to Bring 4Th.
(01-01-2013, 10:37 AM)ShinAr Wrote: [ -> ]We are ever alone in our discernment of matters pertaining to our existence.
This is why 'club's built around such effort will always fail in that individual, intimate speculation cannot be compatible as a whole.
Welcome to Bring 4Th.
Well said.
I kinda see life as a complex algebraic equation. There are thousands of different ways to do the problem and as long as you do the steps correctly (stay true) you will come to the same answer (as if there is such a thing..). Free will is paramount in sharing views and opinions.
I had to stop following others' ways and preferred views and stay true to my own views and follow what I know to be true. I love this journey of discovering my self and nature as the one infinite creator. Every day brings constant unveilings.
Wonderful story, thank you... and welcome to the forum!
Thanks everyone! This forum is water to my spirit. I sometimes feel like I'm very alone in my views and seattle isn't the friendliest city so this period has been quite lonesome. I love being able to connect with this online community. <3
(01-02-2013, 02:20 AM)MarcRammer Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks everyone! This forum is water to my spirit. I sometimes feel like I'm very alone in my views and seattle isn't the friendliest city so this period has been quite lonesome. I love being able to connect with this online community. <3
Most of this world community is living within the grip of a very manipulated environment. It has been formed with precision to afford a certain elite aspect of humanity with the ability to maintain and increase upon its lifestyle.
Add to that the natural evolutionary state of being of most humans, and the ignorance of higher states of existence, and you have an environment which the more evolved human states of being are forced to tred in very cautious, and ever studious, manner.
This world will not be kind to us, and we will not fit into it in its presently manipulated state.
The natural world wherever you can find it untainted by the extremes of self satisfaction, will be the only true place where you will feel at home.
here, in this community you will find many thought processes. It was designed for the study of Law of One, but the Law of One, as with all offerings of information, are left to be discerned by the individual and its capability. This results in a variety of interpretations, and a few conflicts.
We are not really so different. We just appear 'holier' because of our unified interest in the spiritual.
But then, isn't that what every 'religion' would claim as their forte?
Learn and teach what you manage to gather. That is called sharing and it is the most sacred of all things created.
Do not let anyone attempt to stand between you and the honest impression you manage to acquire of matters and persons which you interact with. That person either deliberately, or unwittingly, attempts to put an end to your sharing, disabling the sacred eye which was formed, and imposing their will upon you.
It is okay for someone to disagree with you, or to attempt to show you where you might be wrong, and to challenge the disagreement between you and they.
But it is not okay for them to expect you to feel guilt for coming to particular impressions of matters which you have studied and encountered.
And when you attempt to share those impressions, feel free and unencumbered to do so in a loving way, in the hopes that further learning will present itself as the reward.
There is never a need to be insulting or to engage in debate where emotion takes over and we become insulting. But that is very easy to get into it given the very intimacy of what is often being discussed here. So expect to see people reveal sides of themselves that may be be quite so becoming.
Nevertheless, many of here have learned to stand our ground despite the reactions, and have been successful in the sharing process.
Stand tall. Be loving. Share.
welcome brother
i feel the pain of your father and the pain u have gone thru. i applaud your courage to trust yourself enuf to be true to yourself. and i give u a big big hug
. being true to yourself is the only way to fly. u might make others unhappy but that is not your problem , that is their problem. welcome home !!
norral
Welcome Marc!
Thank you for thy story. Drink
your fill the source is ever providing .)
Love and light
Edit for unintentional grammar
Great story. I'm always happy to read when someone expands their worldview. Society and ourselves tend to put walls around our mind, belief systems which often limit us more than they serve us. There is goodness in all religion, but one must learn to see beyond
I hope you will be able to introduce spirituality in your wife's life. Perhaps you could make links between the values of Christianity and the Ra material. It could help her bridge the gap between her religious beliefs and new age spirituality. The important will be to go at a pace she can follow and be comfortable with. I wish you good luck and light in your own spiritual path
(01-17-2013, 12:25 PM)vervex Wrote: [ -> ]Great story. I'm always happy to read when someone expands their worldview. Society and ourselves tend to put walls around our mind, belief systems which often limit us more than they serve us. There is goodness in all religion, but one must learn to see beyond
I hope you will be able to introduce spirituality in your wife's life. Perhaps you could make links between the values of Christianity and the Ra material. It could help her bridge the gap between her religious beliefs and new age spirituality. The important will be to go at a pace she can follow and be comfortable with. I wish you good luck and light in your own spiritual path
Heh, it's been a fun journey with my wife. At all times I have to make sure I'm not abridging her free will in giving too much information. I also have to use terms that are Christian or else she gets real worried.
Last night I got some crystals and she really freaked out. We worked out a compromise, but I have to make sure I allow her to walk at her pace.
We've come from a charismatic type of church, so me hearing from my guide I call it the Holy Spirit to make her comfortable. I encourage to grow in what she knows to be true, and try not to drown her with my understanding of religion.
Looking at my results from spirituality she can't argue that I haven't become Christ-like. So in a way, even if she doesn't understand it all, she sees it works.
She did turn vegetarian with me and realizes that God isn't a mean god in the sky, but she holds to the bible as absolute truth. I love her and am happy for the catalysts our relationship provides.
(01-17-2013, 01:05 PM)MarcRammer Wrote: [ -> ] (01-17-2013, 12:25 PM)vervex Wrote: [ -> ]Great story. I'm always happy to read when someone expands their worldview. Society and ourselves tend to put walls around our mind, belief systems which often limit us more than they serve us. There is goodness in all religion, but one must learn to see beyond
I hope you will be able to introduce spirituality in your wife's life. Perhaps you could make links between the values of Christianity and the Ra material. It could help her bridge the gap between her religious beliefs and new age spirituality. The important will be to go at a pace she can follow and be comfortable with. I wish you good luck and light in your own spiritual path
Heh, it's been a fun journey with my wife. At all times I have to make sure I'm not abridging her free will in giving too much information. I also have to use terms that are Christian or else she gets real worried.
Last night I got some crystals and she really freaked out. We worked out a compromise, but I have to make sure I allow her to walk at her pace.
We've come from a charismatic type of church, so me hearing from my guide I call it the Holy Spirit to make her comfortable. I encourage to grow in what she knows to be true, and try not to drown her with my understanding of religion.
Looking at my results from spirituality she can't argue that I haven't become Christ-like. So in a way, even if she doesn't understand it all, she sees it works.
She did turn vegetarian with me and realizes that God isn't a mean god in the sky, but she holds to the bible as absolute truth. I love her and am happy for the catalysts our relationship provides.
It's quite nice of you to allow her time to adapt and follow you at her own pace. You have a lot of courage and patience, I admire that. Myself I do not know if I would be able to build such a close relationship with someone who did not share the same open-mindedness. I can be blunt and tactless and I believe I would end up accidentally hurting the person with my direct ways.
Christ was a beautiful example of what humans should strive to become and Christians have a wonderful model right there. If only more could see it
Thank you for sharing your story. The shadow of fundamentalism is long and the journey must have been difficult. I could never understand the idea of fearing a loving deity. It is sad that more people do not see the absurdity in that concept.
(01-18-2013, 12:21 PM)Ray Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you for sharing your story. The shadow of fundamentalism is long and the journey must have been difficult. I could never understand the idea of fearing a loving deity. It is sad that more people do not see the absurdity in that concept.
Most fundamentalist don't really believe it. If they truly did they would go insane with the contradictions. They are just scared of asking questions. Living in contradiction with yourself is pretty hard...
I'm going to take a break from all media (tv, movies, video games, facebook) and forum activities for about a month. I want to come to a place of inner silence and clarity. I'll be back, though.
Much love,
Marc
(08-19-2013, 02:02 AM)MarcRammer Wrote: [ -> ]I'm going to take a break from all media (tv, movies, video games, facebook) and forum activities for about a month. I want to come to a place of inner silence and clarity. I'll be back, though.
Much love,
Marc
I think you'll be amazed at the clarity you have after unplugging from popular media. You may not be able to plug back in . . .
(08-19-2013, 02:02 AM)MarcRammer Wrote: [ -> ]I'm going to take a break from all media (tv, movies, video games, facebook) and forum activities for about a month.
I want to come to a place of inner silence and clarity. I'll be back, though.
digital fasting can be very beneficial.
it shows you where the true power lies. (where it always has). It resides within the self first and foremost.
Much has happened in the time I've taken off of the forum and other distractions such as TV, Movies, Video Games, and Facebook. I've realized how much I rely on those things to give me want I want, and amuse (a[not]-muse[ponder, or think]) me so I don't have to face my inner fears and shadows.
I realized that every spare minute I would spend it looking at recent posts on my phone and reading interesting articles. I know there's nothing wrong with that, but it was basically becoming a distraction as zenmaster has stated before.
I realized I now had a ton more free time than I thought I did and started to meditate about everyday. In my meditation I developed a very strong connection with my higher self. I would have questions I wanted to ask on the forum, but then instead I took them into meditation and presented them and just listened. The wisdom and insight into every question I posed was astounding and exactly what I needed to hear. I never realized that I have the greatest resource in the world within myself. Anything I ask I receive.
I also have had time to read more of the LOO material. I had only gotten to Book 4 before I got into the forum and had stopped reading the books completely. I realized there was much that I still had to learn and discover about the archetypical mind and so many other things.
After Plenum suggested this book, I also read Jesus and the Essenes by Delores Canon. It cleared up a ton of my understanding of Jesus, his purpose, and the gospels and also prepared me in ways for my next big catalyst.
Also, I've started to write down my dreams almost every night and have had amazing lucid experiences and have been learning about myself in leaps and bounds. The depth and enlightenment of my dreams is hard to describe in words on a screen.
--------------
Facing the Demiurge
As many of you know I grew up in a very controlling Christian household. My biological father was very loving but had many issues and eventually my parents were separated when I was two and my step-dad came into the picture.
My step-dad was very manipulative and used fear based reasoning to get us to submit to his will. He would emotionally abuse my mom and siblings and then at other times be very pleasant towards us. He wasn't all bad or all good, but was mostly fear-based and didn't understand that control isn't love.
One by one as my brother and sister grew up we started to leave the influence of our step-dad and Christian beliefs. I confronted my step-dad about his belief in hell and when I did, he couldn't respond with anything substantial about how God could do such a thing and how it wasn't even in the bible he claims is the origin of the doctrine.
Some things were recently discovered about the extent of my stepdad's control and abuse and brought me to confront my relationship with the Demiurge.
In a more spiritual light, I've discovered the demiurge in my life. The demiurge uses fear based manipulation by "aping positivity" and contrasting that with darkness. When you are repulsed by his darkness he changes face into a more positive being to save you from that darkness you just saw, in exchange for your freedom. He is mentioned in the LOO as the new Yahweh by Ra.
I've recently realized that my step-dad is the physical analog of the demiurge. He came in and took the place of my Father. He deceived and controlled me and brought me to a greater knowledge of myself by offering a massive amount of catalyst. I thank him for it and hold no ill will.
This awakening to the extent of the control of the demiurge brought me to realize I still had agreement and ties to this entity and that I should brake those and challenge all of my influences to make sure they were not a part of the demiurge.
I went into meditation and broke all ties with the demiurge and then went to sleep. When I went to sleep I had this dream:
I was working at the zoo and there was a disturbance. The elephant started fighting another animal and breaking apart its enclosure. It had to be tranquilized. [this represented me watching others being controlled by the demiurge and failing at times to be free from it]
I was watching from a high perch and came down and bumped the tail of a large iguana and the fell off as I startled the iguana and then looked for someone to let them know about it. [I was the iguana and when I realized the extent of the demiurge I dropped my tail in surprise.] I eventually got pulled into a office to discuss the importance signage on many different items. [This showed me the necessity to know the validity of all guides and influences in my life.]
---
I was driving a car from a passengers seat [in partial control of my life, but not fully] and then went into meditation, became lucid and challenged Ra to let me know if they were giving me trustworthy information and not of the demiurgical powers. Immediately my body was filled with a presence which lifted me off the seat and I had to command it to only be the people with my highest interest allowed to communicate with me and Ra then came through clearly and the opposing forces that immediately inhabited my body were gone and Ra was present. I asked challenging questions to Ra and felt calming, yet invigorating energy in response.
Meanwhile I'm in a car and start driving from the drivers seat [this is an important distinction from before showing I am now in control] after the encounter and am extremely lucid. I pull over after a bit of lucid driving (augmenting time and space to create the illusion of going extremely fast). I pull over still feeling this presence from Ra. My wife is there (or someone similar) and proceeds to had the most amazing sex with me. It was more than just sex, it was high energy transfer. [I feel the woman was Ra.]
After the amazing sex, she gets into her car and I get into mine and she goes down the road and I follow her. I am struggling a bit to still remain lucid at this point, but pull off quite a bit and 'speed' drive.
She pulls off at this house on the oceanfront and we go in. Everyone there is super high class and beyond me and yet were quite gracious to allow me to eat food there. I grabbed a piece of pizza and started to eat it. I noticed it was vegan and after carefully considering the meat like substance (after I had already eaten some) I then determined again, that it was vegan. That was quite a scare as I thought I had eaten chicken for a moment.
[this scene describes my experience with questioning everything, including the Ra Material and after examination finding it suitable]
I then eat a dark chocolate cake/bar and feel awkward with these fancy people around and my lady and I head out. The people gave me a hug when I left, but were definitely high class which made me feel a bit awkward, but still very friendly.
[This scene shows a bit of insecurity of myself with higher density beings, viewing myself as lesser then them, but it comes from me, not them.]
As I left I was not as lucid anymore and knew I needed to write down this dream, so pulled out my iPhone to write it down. I started writing and the iPhone pasted all the junk I had seen on it and wouldn't let me erase the junk to write my dream down I then really woke up and write it down now. [Clearing out unnecessary noise so I can have clarity of experience.]
It was interesting to have such a pushback in my dreams after breaking ties and agreements with negative entities. My next day after that I had many catalysts with confronting and accepting the demiurge in my life.
My wife wanted me to come to church with her. I sought counsel from my higher self, and was told it wouldn't be an easy experience, but full of catalysts and I agreed to go with my wife out of love for her.
She's still freaked out about me being into the LOO and talked to her pastor about it and he replied that he knew about it and it was garbage. So she asked if I would talk to him about it so she could feel better. I replied I would talk to him for her sake (even though I really would rather not get in lengthy discussions with pastors).
The next day I felt free from the demiurgical powers and the next day I accepted the role of the demiurgis in my evolution and forgave and thanked with gratitude for its services.
I feel like a huge transformation has happened in my life and I am excited to be back with all of you on the forum!
Wow awesome, you!
It well seems you had quite the ride. Thank you for sharing, I had a nutritious moment reading what you wrote
How do the things you left, feel now? Do you think you have now stopped running away from the fears you ignored? I am curious .p
WB!
I shed light on my fears and discovered their true purpose and now accept and love them as myself. The fear of me losing control to another being was very scary and created fear in my heart. But with an understanding and realization of the Law of One, I need no fear and understand my fears which brings darkness into light.
In my desiring to return to Creator, I have had some fears come up, that I learn to accept. Many are unconscious fears that cause an emotional response. Thus I continue in my seeking of The One. Sometimes Creator tickles me.
(09-04-2013, 03:22 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]In my desiring to return to Creator, I have had some fears come up, that I learn to accept. Many are unconscious fears that cause an emotional response. Thus I continue in my seeking of The One. Sometimes Creator tickles me.
what unconscious fears are those Gemini?
Fears where I feel a little uneasy when focusing on manifesting my desire to return to Creator. Fears about leaving loved ones behind. Fears around service to others vs service to self, and which am I. Fears about harvest and how it will go with me. Fears about whether I can walk the steps of light far enough. I've had experiences in this life where the sun appeared to get hotter as I thought I was walking the steps of light while still alive. Fears of not knowing at times if I'm alive or dead. I called them unconscious because I don't know the source of them. They just come across as I focus on seeking Creator.
(09-04-2013, 03:39 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Fears where I feel a little uneasy when focusing on manifesting my desire to return to Creator. Fears about leaving loved ones behind. Fears around service to others vs service to self, and which am I. Fears about harvest and how it will go with me. Fears about whether I can walk the steps of light far enough. I've had experiences in this life where the sun appeared to get hotter as I thought I was walking the steps of light while still alive. Fears of not knowing at times if I'm alive or dead. I called them unconscious because I don't know the source of them. They just come across as I focus on seeking Creator.
yes, we all have lots of fears.
the question is, what to do about them when they come up in consciousness?