Bring4th

I wanted to post this as its own thread so as to not hijack the dream thread

(01-05-2013, 11:26 PM)Xradfl Wrote: [ -> ]Anyways I forgot to add another dream that I had. Well, it wasn't much of a dream but all of a sudden I heard my name yelled out loud. So loud I literally jumped up in bed, threw the covers off off and looked around like wtf was that??!!

For the passed couple days, I have sworn I have heard my name being called at work also so when this happened, it literally shook me. It was already around 7:30am so it was light and I was able to see but of course no one was there because there is no one else there.

Forgot to post the update to this as I have been struggling with it ever since. After that morning when I was awakened by my name, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that someone I knew was in trouble. I talked to everyone that I could think of except the woman that I was seeing as we had recently parted ways. It was a troubling split as we were so right together yet life kept throwing every possible obstacle in our way.

I resisted contacting her because one of the last reasons for our final split was because I had shown up to her place unannounced because I hadn't been able to get in touch with her all day. I won't go into the long back story but I'll jus say that our relationship would be a weekly thing. Things would be going great then she'd get scared and break it off so when I couldn't reach her, I was afraid of the same outcome plus I was worried something was actually wrong. Showing up was the worst thing and when she broke it off the final time, she made the claim that we couldn't be together because I didn't trust her which wasn't true but she thought that since she had lied so much during the time we were together, a relationship wouldn't be possible

I finally gave in and contacted her to make sure she was ok fearing that she'd bring up the same reason again but all she said was that she was good. I then received a text a couple days later stating that she wasn't telling the truth. She apologized for me being able to hear her as she had been crying herself to sleep for those nights because shortly after we had split, she hooked up with a guy she was seeing right as she met me and became pregnant. With that sudden turn of events, she realized how much she actually cared for me but now would be unable to actually be with me.

She hinted at trying to make it work but I told her that she was off limits out of respect for the father and her eventual child. I would not be a part of a broken family and that she would need to see if she can form the same type of connection the we had with me which she reluctantly agreed to.

It's been tearing me apart as I have never had such a connection to someone before. I never had such a spiritual connection even to my ex wife though maybe that's because I wasn't spiritual then, who knows. During the times we were together, I knew when something was wrong. I knew that she was also seeing someone else before I actually found evidence. I would have terrible fits of anxiety during the times she would see him and then I would find out that she was with him durin those times. I found the wonderful catalyst of forgiveness because of that and I thanked her to no end for it.

I even had a vision that she was gonna stop by and see me at work one time during one of those brief splits. When I told her that, she asked what time it was. I told her the time and she said she was near the exit to my job when she actually thought about texting me to visit me.

I could tell what she was thinking by simply looking in to her eyes yet life had thrown us so many curveballs, I couldn't tell if they were simply challenges to be overcome or every possible suggestion by my guides saying "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!" lol.

Right before we split and we had a scare since she came off of birth control, I had this feeling she was pregnant. The way I found it she was was when she had told me she was crying, I texted her later that day and said "ya know, I have always had this feeling you were pregnant". She said she wasn't then but is now. I asked how she could be so sure it wasn't mine and she said she promises it is which must mean she and her period or she took a test though I could tell she wished it was mine.

I still feel like something will happen. Either it really is mine and she'll find out whenever she gets her first ultrasound and finds out the conception date or I hate to say it but she will miscarry which I feel horible to say that I thought about that and forgave myself for it.

I have been asking my guides quite a bit about this and I finally got a response before I even finished the sentence which was "WAIT"

One of the biggest recurring lessons with her has been patience but its so hard not know how this will play out. I'm trying to move on and force her out of my head but she constantly reappears during a particular song or when I see a particular time on the clock or the main day that I would see her or when I hold a baby at work. She has infiltrated every part of my soul yet I can't be with her and its driving my a little crazy.

Can you explain a bit more as to why you feel connected to her? How has she infiltrated every part of your soul?

I wish I could but I don't know how any better than I did. Generally it was by anxiety. Whenever I felt any type of anxiety for no apparent reason, it always correlated with something being wrong with her or that she was still seeing the other guy. The way it turned out, I was the guy she was cheating on with. Not the other way around. She said she broke it off but he was being as persistent as I was and she slipped a couple times as they had mutual friends. During those weekends, I knew before she even told me. She knew that I knew because of passed feelings like this. She learned that it was pointless to hide anything from me.

I wish I could explain it but I somehow knew everything she was feeling either by her eyes, her voice, or even text messages.

Maybe infiltrated is a poor choice of words as it definitely has a negative connotation but that's what it feels like. It's mainly a bunch of should've, could've, would'ves scenarios. Maybe I should just take my advice that I gave her when she said that she missed me so much and wanted to be with me after constantly hearing a particular song that describes us so well. I told her over time as her belly begins to grow and her relationship with the father hopefully grows with it, I'll slowy fade from her memory. And when that precious life appears and they both are in awe over such a little being that they created, I may not be forgotten but I be far enough in her memory that that the pain that she feels now will be a distant memory.

Derp, read more of the original post.

Pray for guidance and meditate.

Xradfl, first of all I want to send you love and blessings! I know how difficult it is to go through something like this...to have such a strong connection to someone.

I don't know what the solution is for you, but I will offer a few points - just some food for thought - that you might wish to contemplate.

First of all, it's very common to have a strong connection to someone - even to the point of knowing what she's about to say or what she is thinking, or feeling that no one else has ever understood you this well, and no one else will ever understand you this well - and you think this strong connection is proof that you are soul mates and meant to be together. BUT, it's very common to have such a strong connection when the relationship is just karmic.

In other words, my advice is to NOT assume that you and her are soul mates or destined to be together, based on the strength of your connection, because that doesn't necessarily mean anything. It might just be a residual connection from many past lives of difficult, karmically-charged relationships!

Sometimes people even feel a really strong connection with someone whom they've had intensely strong karma with in the past...for the purpose of ensuring that they find each other again so they can work out their karmic lessons. It doesn't necessarily mean they will have a happy life together, though it might in some cases.

It's difficult to believe that you could actually find someone in the future with whom you have such a strong connection, but I know from experience (myself and people I know) that it's not only possible, but probable! I once thought I'd never find anyone who understood me as well as an ex-boyfriend, but I was wrong and found someone who is a much better match for me. Now, I am very glad that the ex-boyfriend dumped me!

Now, getting back to your situation, I have a couple of questions:

1. How do you feel about her cheating on her boyfriend with you?

2. How do you feel about her lying to both of you? Has that been resolved? Or is she still lying?

3. Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with someone who has been lying?

4. In light of the fact that she has been lying, you cannot be sure at this point whose baby it is. It could be yours, or it could be his. She might think she knows, but she could be wrong, being that it's difficult to know exactly when conception took place, even with a period. Sometimes pregnant women have a light period the first month, so they don't even know they're pregnant.

5. Since the situation is out of your hands anyway, the best thing you can do right now is to get some clarity in your own mind about how you really feel about her and what lessons this catalyst is trying to teach you. Only meditation can illuminate this.

Hope this helps!

Ah thank you for the kind words.

As far as her cheating on him and the lying etc. when I first learned my suspicions were correct, I admittedly went ballistic. I was actually at her place waiting to go to work after she had left for work. I called her up and just yelled at her because she knew of the utter hell that my exwife of me through so she knew of my trust issues at the beginning of our relationship.

I had a message typed up for the guy by she begged me not to send it. Basically I had figured out that her Facebook password was the same as her wifi password that I had. I just thought I'd try it and it was actually the first password I attempted like I actually knew that was it.

I was shaking I was so mad. Well not really mad, utterly distraught would be a better word. After I got off the phone, I sat and meditated. Ultimately, I figured out that I had to forgive her. During the forgiving process, I also forgave my exwife along with my biological father whom I've never met. After that, I was on such a high the entire day. I mean, I literally felt like I could do anything.

For some reason though I always felt like if I could just get her to completely open up to me and let go of her fear, she would begin to see what we could be capable of. I was able to look passed the lying and the fear. We never really got a chance to truly be together for a consistent period of time because of our differing work schedules along with her fears driving her from me. She had never felt anything as strong as what she could feel from me even from her ex husband. This fear led her to run as she didn't want to be hurt again. It also forced her to open up to the fact that she had cheated on just about every man she had been win and was afraid of doing that with me.

That last part shook me a bit but as I said, it just seemed as if we could have ever gotten over that hump, it would have been great but maybe we weren't meant to.

As you said its out of my hands and for the most part, I have been great. Enjoying independent life again with my own house, working in the yard, helping people at work. Then she just reappears in my mind and I dwell on it for a few days. But I know I'll be fine either way

I have a very specific short advice.

Work on making yourself the best possible mate for all potential candidates without inclusion or exclusion by improving yourself as much as possible. As a result of these changes in the body/mind/spirit complex, you'll see rapid changes in relationships and people who you may now think lied, may have infact lied about lying.

Just sying.

Also, it is likely that your 'trust issues' created this situation for you to learn from.

Pray and meditate and grow.

(01-27-2013, 12:05 PM)GentleReckoning Wrote: [ -> ]Also, it is likely that your 'trust issues' created this situation for you to learn from.

Pray and meditate and grow.

Oh it was definitely an aspect of it along with being able to forgive. Both of which I did with her. I actually did trust her but that was her rationalization of it.

But an update to this is that she called me a little bit ago out of the blue. She has since moved in with the guy but I feel so bad for her because I can tell she's not happy. He doesn't seem as happy as one normally would with having a child. He also likes his time with his friends a little more than she does and just leaves his son with his mother so be can have a social life more than she's comfortable with.

She just wants to see me but knows its not the best thing. She feels so trapped and lonely and wonders how long she had to try to make it work before giving up. I told her that this is her lesson and I can only be there for support.

It's funny as she never really considered my feelings a lot of the time and also is t getting what she expected of him kinda like she did to me so I'm wondering if this is a little karmic balancing going on.

It just breaks my heart to hear her so sad during what should be a glorious experience.