Bring4th

Who here has a disorder on the schizophrenia spectrum and how do you deal with it? Do you find reading LOO helps calm you down or does it separate you more from reality?

I have schizophrenia. I don't follow LOO too much now because it separates me from reality.
Before, I followed it strongly, but I ended up going in the wrong direction, and
it was nothing but terror and fear I was experiencing. When I sought Ra, it caused problems for me.

That sounds scary.

I was diagnosed schizoeffective (some sort of hybrid between schizophrenia and bipolar), and for the most part I've just learned how to distinguish which of my experiences corroborate with consensus reality and which don't. I then pick and choose the level of credence to give these experiences, and which ones I'm going to share with others. It didn't take long to realize that talking about the voices in my head and the pictures they showed me wasn't a great way to portray myself as a sane individual. I purposefully faced the fear I found in my "abnormal" experiences head on, and now that I'm not afraid of them, I can simply choose to privately enjoy them or ignore them, and live a mostly normal life. If properly cultivated, conditions like schizophrenia can give way to more solidified psychic abilities. I rather like being able to walk between worlds.

Brittany, I wish I could have been able to handle this "gift", but I'm controlled by it when not on meds.

"I wish I could have been able to handle this gift."

Let's rephrase that in a positive way:

"Regardless of what has happened so far, I absolutely will learn to handle this gift, if it takes my life and then some to do it."

It's when you give up that you are truly controlled.

I am not qualified to make any comment about the condition except that you have my sympathy and my respect and my hope for your getting along with, if not conquering it. I support the careful use of medicine to tame such beast, while knowing that it can't be an ideal solution.

Brittany, your comment made me lol. You have great tenacity. I'm baby-stepping it for now, to kind of gauge where I'm at.

I applaud any step taken, large or small. Even if you have to crawl, you're still moving forward and will eventually reach your destination.

I am hoping for a positive destination with regard to the mistake I made a couple months back. It's sort of out of my control.

Questioner: Can you tell me if we are accomplishing our effort reasonably well?

Ra: I am Ra. The Law is One. There are no mistakes.

Cure for Schizophrenia;

Stop hating yourself.


Thoughts?

Seems to apply for me.

I developed schizophrenic delusional manic/depressive episodes over the course of 2 months. As this was coupled with being completely ungrounded I ended up not having any energy and feeling very incapable of productive work.

Due to this I de-coupled myself from the schizophrenic side of things which also greatly reduced the manic/depressive episodes. Through this process I actually learned to remove myself from ideas that are presented to me (for good or ill). Once I learn to channel I'll probably be 'schizophrenic' again, but I'll know how to test the spirits as it were. I know how to ground myself now and will likely have a much different experience of the process.

(06-30-2013, 10:37 AM)Not Sure Wrote: [ -> ]Cure for Schizophrenia;

Stop hating yourself.


Thoughts?

Seems to apply for me.

"Schizophrenia is when one is unable to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, accompanied by the inability to think logically."

"the left cingulate gyrus tends to become thinner in schizophrenia relative to the healthy control population.
the results suggest that left cingulate gyrus size may be inversely related to severity of hallucinations in schizophrenia."

Left cingulate gyrus: The solar plexus

I'm thinking of how the desire to experience voices as negative "oh god they are talking to me again, what are they trying to find out / what are they trying to get me to do that I don't want found out / dont publicly want to admit to wanting to do." instead of going "oh, cool, they are talking to me again. Whats up, imaginary folk?" is the causative agent of developement from normal understanding of "astral" to using "astral" to reinforce the concept of a secret and then to hate the self for having to maintain the concept of a secret which eventually causes "the astral" to want your removal from your body because your body (social complex / yellow ray) is unhealthy. Causing a situation where both the voices are good, you are good, and the situation wants to progress towards "good" but cant due to, as I theorize, Self hate manifesting in such a manner.

In the long run. Its not that the "voices" turn hostile towards you, its that your self hate and desire to exit your reality/body will result in the voices having no alternative but to try to shock you / and then remove you from your body to show you that you create the voices and thus you can uncreate the voices by focusing on the causative agent of your desire to create the voices. But if the intial world view is one of "someone else creates my world and not me" then a "perceived negative" voice trying to lift you to a view where you can eliminate said "perceived negative" by accepting that you created it to prove to yourself that while you do create everything, you can always keep yourself technically "sane" if you want and the condition you are in now is an artifact of you deliberately wanting to be something besides, sane.

Now. How exactly do you get that transmitted to someone who, when you approach them, will only hear/see the following:

"you are causing this to yourself by your faulty thinking"

when the "spirits" or "hallucinations" say the exact same thing...

That it is your fault for the way you think.

And the medical establishment seeks to make it "someone elses fault" by saying "its this or that, or dopamine or serotonine or infections or what ever" without admitting to the fact that in the end it is the person in the brain that is responsible for how they react to the "hallucinations".

So, on one hand you have an establishment that seeks to tell you that its caused by something exterior, and on a another hand you have the certain knowledge that since its your brain and your inrepretative patterns, it cant be caused by someone else.

You have voices that are hostile and try to tell you its "your fault" and the people who try to help you because they see what you are doing sound exactly like the spirits, but since the spirits cant remain grounded to you as you "shift" from "this"(schi) to "that"(non-schi) reality since they are artifacts of the surrounding mind space which is rebooted when an assumption like that is removed (thus you/they/both experience the same "hallucination" but each from their PoV and the separation of their empathy from one another in understanding the shared truth of the situation is what colors the perception of the other self as "faulty". For the Schi patient the other self will seem like a angry monster trying to kill them, because it is, and to the "healthy" person the schi will look like a crumpled up ball in the corner of the room weeping, because that is what it is. Both are inherantly right and both are inherantly wrong and the condition itself is seen as not in the patient or in the doctor. But in simply the desire to hate oneself which leads to a situation where communication is distorted until it is made impossible.

This would make sense, to me at least.

---

(06-30-2013, 02:35 PM)Aureus Wrote: [ -> ]"Schizophrenia is when one is unable to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, accompanied by the inability to think logically."

eeeeehhh. *makes the hand as a palm shifting from side to side movement*

Thats more Psychosis than Schi for one. for second, its not about an inability to think logically, its about the recepient and the speaker being unable to communicate in a coherant single language. The isolation caused by this eventually drives the "soul in the body" mad just as solitary confinement in a foreign country would after years of isolation.

Its more of a condition where the human communicative complexes cant grasp the nature of the condition and placement in time/space and the relative positioning of the soul therein. Resulting in a view where the Schi believes they are logical and the non-Schi is not and visa versa. And from that the healing process can start IF both admit that for the situation to even arise, both must be in the state at the same time and they both can navigate out of it. which is patently impossible with the current "medical" community which starts from the assumption of "stop them from talking about their own world, then medicate them to silence and replace their own world with our world and then hope they can adjust."

But that is more of a artifact generated by the system of our belief which starts from the foolish assumption that we are alive to begin with. Which limits the range of our thought/thinking to a redicilously narrow band of possibilities. So when someone does not conform to that we either kill them (christ etc) or say they are insane (if you claim you died and got resurrected then you'll be sent to the loony bin, because it offends the established norm.)

For a rational normal person to replace what they have seen to occur with their own observations, with the verbal explanation of someone else with what they say happened and then be forced to accept it as more valid than your own, in light of missing any verifiable evidence on the matter, is at its core, insanity.

And to go along with and accept such a system of brainwashing is only possible if you hate yourself to begin with.

To demonstrate what I mean.

If I were to stand here and say, any of the most famous channelers throughout history are Schizophrenics because they have regular episodes of psychosis every few times a week/month. I would be rightly called a nutter for saying that, because they are "obviously" healthy.

But here we all are, discussing one such obviously, from a medical point of view, insane sources with insane claims. Yet after we have gone through the claims of the materials here, they verify and add up. Even if the initial contact was very odd and unusual.

Same applies to the Schi-Human barrier. And by Schi in this context. I mean woken up Schizophrenic who has sufficient common sense to avoid all kinds of "mental hospitals" and clue in on what is going on. And why such facilities exist for real.

Once a fully realized Schi meets a fully realized Human/normal person. The difference in the Schi mindset and the Human mindset are made patently obvious.

The Schi persona lives day to day and at the night at the end of the day entirely boots their reality, they believe, at the core of their being, that everything outside is a reflection of everything within and what they see, is what they put out, AT THAT MOMENT!!!!!! and this is they key. They believe the connection is that they are receiving immediate karma, and not delayed karma. For the most part.

This may not be obvious as to why this connects to Ra material but think about it.

5th Density negatives (thoughts that want to head to a negative outcome but aren't expressed thus reside in negative) are super compact and see no need in other selves as they see the karma as being instant.

Now the only difference between this and normal people is that normal people also get the same system and the same karma. But they believe that Karma runs in "long time" and not in "short time."

That is to say, if I kill a flower, I might get karma for it eventually, but if I do something before the karma returns to me I can ameliorate it and eventually disperse it entirely by doing the opposite (planting said flower in a new pot).

But if a Schi person or a person in the Schi mindset kills a flower they will get the karma immediately due to the tremendous spiritual pressure that their desire to remove themselves from the body due to the initial self hate generates in the mixed messages and eventually the disintegration of the mind complex and the inability of the spirit complex (perceived guides/friends/environment) to succesfully detach this mind complex from the totality of its illusion due to the nature of its existence.

If on the other hand this is accepted as "the nature of things" then quick dismantling of the Schi perception can be underatken by simply moving the "point when it all ends" and "the point when it all begins" to outside of the accepted and understood reality.

That is to say "I will get a reply to this in some form, but I know not what, because I grant the entities free will to answer in any form they want. In any way they want, in any area they want."

But this is only possible if the state itself is accepted as being valid and no longer hated/resisted/wanted to get out of. Which requires the removal of acceptance of medical communitys opinion of what is "the Schi mindset".

Therefore. The crux of my argument returns to where I began it.

What if Schizophrenia is what we call a state of self hatred that extends to attempts to control the other selves to hate the self too. Because you leave the other self no other options to contact you except those that reinforce your delusion/illusion that it is a negative state to begin with. Aka. Self Hatred.

That which separates those that go "oh cool, spirits and fairies. soooo cool."

from those that go "Oh god, I see those things again."

Self hatred is the key to why the two patterns of reaction diverge and eventually create two entirely different ways of perceiving the karma.

I perceive myself as being immortal through reincarnation and thus any stuff that I do now that requires a "karmic response" will happen either to me, or some other me, but it will happen in proper balance. I feel no need to rush and no need to punish myself (in the optimum case, such as when explaining this when I am "feeling" those energies I describe.) and as a result I have no negative reactions and very few negative encounters / thoughts. But when I start to rush, and get the need to punish myself and so on, the negative reactions get stronger and stronger. But if I "make peace with the totality of my being" before starting to push. I can push until the point of physical exhaustion and death while all thoughts are in alignment and in agreement with what I do.

So when I get experiences which border on the halluincatory. I can easily side step them and know that I would not really care if my friend was a 10 meter tall tentacle monster that has hands that turn into worms and cause humans eyes to explode out of their heads. As long as that is not what is generally kept up and my eyes dont explode.

I simply prefer my friend to look like a human but I have no objection to them looking like what ever they darn well please to look like.

So that got me thinking, why despite repeated strong attempts I have never been able to really get myself to "go nuts". I have gone to places I really should nto have and talked with entities that will haunt me til the day I die but I never "lost grasp" of what I was doing because every time I saw an entity I simply thought "huh. I wonder what goes on next." Even when I felt one of my friends turn into one of the coldest STs entities I have EVER felt. And by that I mean I could feel him 2-3 meters away being colder than anything I have ever felt before down deep into the kind of cold that makes you panic and feels like your heart is ripped out of your cheast. All it made me do was miss my girlfriend at that time and throw my friend out, for a few days. After that we met again, had fun and made music.

I'm sure that most people would flip out at knowing someone who can do make a person feel that and who has the ability to look like a gaping maw of hell when I'm on mushrooms. But even after the events. I never really felt the need to question my sanity. It felt natural and still does. He has a personality that is sufficiently opposite to me that if I were to entirely and unconditionally accept his view as my own I would dissapear. That in no way means that I cant work with him, if I feel the need to.

But such a entity, would most likely for many, make their self-hatred pop up and cause schi-psychosis. So. Even after running across entities and beigns like this. I do not, in general, feel the need to consider the world any stranger today than it was 5 years ago.

Or 15 years ago, when I first talked with a Valkyrie.

Or 5 years ago when I was introduced to a Goddess.

Or 1-2 years ago when chatting here I was talking with the Godhead and women capable of entering my dreams/mind and really messing with me 10 times to sunday. I'm looking at you Mr's painter who made a mask painting of me...

What is it that makes some people hate themselves over seeing "strange things" so much that they crawl up in a ball in the corner and just vanish.

That in itself is the true cause and the true study of Schi. Not if its an infection there or too much serotonin here. It is why use the altered states that you possess to beat down on yourself day after day, and week after week.

Why not use, what is obviously an ability to shift into a paraller reality that others cant see to your benefit. Just try something. And here is why I think I never developed anything "really bad" despite doing stuff that should have literally left me in the morgue 10 times over.

Believe and love your body complex so much that you feel that when you are pushed out of it you know that it will always do the "right thing" and you can casually observe the altered state knowing that since you are not in your body it is doing "the right thing". And if it is not, you will hear of it and correct it later but now is not the time to worry since you cant do anything about it right now anyway and you might as well sit back and enjoy the ride and see what is up when you notice you are grounded again.

That has saved me from running out the door for all times except my first real trip which was 3-4 hours of 160bpm non stop and a trip to the hospital but thats another story.

So, in the end. I can only surmise looking at the stories and activies that I did and how I pulled out of them and how others didnt and how their activies ended in multiple attempted suicides and hospitalizations that the only key difference that runs in my favor constantly is my ability to believe that what ever happens my body/guides of my body know exactly what to do, better than I do.

In a way. What has saved me is my belief that in a way, I am an accepted hinderance on my body and my body can live its own life for quite a while without me running around inside it, as long as I return and ground into it sufficiently often to let it know its still doing the right thing like the good boy it is *scratches self*.

So from that I have never been worried even when I know full well I am disconnected from the moment to moment consensus reality of this earth and DEEP into the consensus reality of alternative earths where even a minor glitch could end up with me being dead and never to return to my body. Because I know my body could live without me, while I cant live without my body, as my body is "me".

Why is it then, that people like me never truly develop a full disconnection from reality that is associated with the full blown Schi. I believe it is because I have to force myself to hate myself enough to disconnect through hate. I cant believe that the suffering I have endured is justified in its direction against me specifically and can only believe it to be a artifact of this consensus reality that we have all established and agreed to establish.

That way I can feel, experience or see anything, and keep myself disconnected while in balance with it.

I have, in my life, caused the death of 2nd density other selves with the power of directed intention towards killing said 2nd density other selves, that were also my friends. And I know full well that the Karma for actions like these will come to me and I will accept it when it comes / as it is coming. But why is it that for me it is not sufficient to knock me into a spiral of self hate that ends in... well.. we all know where that ends and some people, even on this forum, even with the very same or very similar experiences do sink into that spiral.

I don't hate myself for causing harm to my 2nd density friend. I mourn for myself, I mourn for my friend, I mourn for all of us that this had to happen, I mourn for the time when I will have to feel this pain when something is taken from me /is taken from me/will be taken from me that I can not prevent. But I hold no place for hate for myself.

I hold only curiosity in how, if I truly did hold hate for myself, would this reality turn and the roles in creation pivot around the one who is most dense.

That is my curiosity, and I suppose, in a way, it is what protects me.

Though this is all just theory and some of it pretty rambling but its what I've been trying to put together while I've been observing several of my good friends here interact and try to piece together what they are hiding behind their energies so that I can copy it and mimic the insanity they choose to exist in so that I may one day be able to take them out of it to, perhaps, softer insanities.

So. In closing. Its not the part of the brain and how it changes that I have any interest in, that I leave for the doctors and the chirurgons to figure out, I am interested in what actions bring the soul from the soul of the body where such things don't exist to the soul of the body where such things exist. Since I know why my soul brought me to such a body (curiosity) I don't the reasoning of all other selves in relation to this and can't form a true consensus until I see all archtypes / styles of this personality interact with me from all angels. Then my curiosity will be sated. What I do then I haven't decided yet.

Thank you for your comment Aureus though, It got me writing.

Quote:"the left cingulate gyrus tends to become thinner in schizophrenia relative to the healthy control population.
the results suggest that left cingulate gyrus size may be inversely related to severity of hallucinations in schizophrenia."

Left cingulate gyrus: The solar plexus

I'm sure the brain is full of things both directly and inversly related to the strength of the 3rd eye and its ability to project desired reality into the exterior.

edited

(07-06-2013, 10:35 AM)Ludi Wrote: [ -> ]I haven't been diagnosed with a mental illness (then again I've never been to a doctor for such a purpose) but many people consider me 'insane' that is to say, I process information differently than the regular collective and thus have an 'unusual' output of data. This has pros and cons. I guess I fit the bill of a schizophrenic, except that I can function in society, excelling in areas that others cannot (sheer processing power). The Ra material has been quite transient to me since I was already aware of many of the concepts since childhood, it did however unearth my childhood beliefs which had since been shrouded in fear.
It's recently got a lot worse however due to an extreme imbalance in the energy centers, this was an experiment for myself to push the limits of experiencing emotional intensity while on earth and It's going to take some time to get things back in order lol

---

Well actually a big cause of my erratic being is linked to a specific event in this lifetime, any differences in terms of processing information and putting out an alternate view of reality is probably more caused by wandering throughout the octave of creation. After that event was when my illness became apparent through my handwriting and general behaviour, a split of focus and disarrangement of the mind/body/spirit.

I have similar mindset (thinking very differently). It can suck sometimes.

(06-30-2013, 02:50 PM)Not Sure Wrote: [ -> ]I'm thinking of how the desire to experience voices as negative "oh god they are talking to me again, what are they trying to find out / what are they trying to get me to do that I don't want found out / dont publicly want to admit to wanting to do." instead of going "oh, cool, they are talking to me again. Whats up, imaginary folk?" is the causative agent of developement from normal understanding of "astral" to using "astral" to reinforce the concept of a secret and then to hate the self for having to maintain the concept of a secret which eventually causes "the astral" to want your removal from your body because your body (social complex / yellow ray) is unhealthy. Causing a situation where both the voices are good, you are good, and the situation wants to progress towards "good" but cant due to, as I theorize, Self hate manifesting in such a manner.

In the long run. Its not that the "voices" turn hostile towards you, its that your self hate and desire to exit your reality/body will result in the voices having no alternative but to try to shock you / and then remove you from your body to show you that you create the voices and thus you can uncreate the voices by focusing on the causative agent of your desire to create the voices. But if the intial world view is one of "someone else creates my world and not me" then a "perceived negative" voice trying to lift you to a view where you can eliminate said "perceived negative" by accepting that you created it to prove to yourself that while you do create everything, you can always keep yourself technically "sane" if you want and the condition you are in now is an artifact of you deliberately wanting to be something besides, sane.

Now. How exactly do you get that transmitted to someone who, when you approach them, will only hear/see the following:

"you are causing this to yourself by your faulty thinking"

when the "spirits" or "hallucinations" say the exact same thing...

That it is your fault for the way you think.

And the medical establishment seeks to make it "someone elses fault" by saying "its this or that, or dopamine or serotonine or infections or what ever" without admitting to the fact that in the end it is the person in the brain that is responsible for how they react to the "hallucinations".

So, on one hand you have an establishment that seeks to tell you that its caused by something exterior, and on a another hand you have the certain knowledge that since its your brain and your inrepretative patterns, it cant be caused by someone else.

You have voices that are hostile and try to tell you its "your fault" and the people who try to help you because they see what you are doing sound exactly like the spirits, but since the spirits cant remain grounded to you as you "shift" from "this"(schi) to "that"(non-schi) reality since they are artifacts of the surrounding mind space which is rebooted when an assumption like that is removed (thus you/they/both experience the same "hallucination" but each from their PoV and the separation of their empathy from one another in understanding the shared truth of the situation is what colors the perception of the other self as "faulty". For the Schi patient the other self will seem like a angry monster trying to kill them, because it is, and to the "healthy" person the schi will look like a crumpled up ball in the corner of the room weeping, because that is what it is. Both are inherantly right and both are inherantly wrong and the condition itself is seen as not in the patient or in the doctor. But in simply the desire to hate oneself which leads to a situation where communication is distorted until it is made impossible.

This would make sense, to me at least.

---

(06-30-2013, 02:35 PM)Aureus Wrote: [ -> ]"Schizophrenia is when one is unable to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences, accompanied by the inability to think logically."

eeeeehhh. *makes the hand as a palm shifting from side to side movement*

Thats more Psychosis than Schi for one. for second, its not about an inability to think logically, its about the recepient and the speaker being unable to communicate in a coherant single language. The isolation caused by this eventually drives the "soul in the body" mad just as solitary confinement in a foreign country would after years of isolation.

Its more of a condition where the human communicative complexes cant grasp the nature of the condition and placement in time/space and the relative positioning of the soul therein. Resulting in a view where the Schi believes they are logical and the non-Schi is not and visa versa. And from that the healing process can start IF both admit that for the situation to even arise, both must be in the state at the same time and they both can navigate out of it. which is patently impossible with the current "medical" community which starts from the assumption of "stop them from talking about their own world, then medicate them to silence and replace their own world with our world and then hope they can adjust."

But that is more of a artifact generated by the system of our belief which starts from the foolish assumption that we are alive to begin with. Which limits the range of our thought/thinking to a redicilously narrow band of possibilities. So when someone does not conform to that we either kill them (christ etc) or say they are insane (if you claim you died and got resurrected then you'll be sent to the loony bin, because it offends the established norm.)

For a rational normal person to replace what they have seen to occur with their own observations, with the verbal explanation of someone else with what they say happened and then be forced to accept it as more valid than your own, in light of missing any verifiable evidence on the matter, is at its core, insanity.

And to go along with and accept such a system of brainwashing is only possible if you hate yourself to begin with.

To demonstrate what I mean.

If I were to stand here and say, any of the most famous channelers throughout history are Schizophrenics because they have regular episodes of psychosis every few times a week/month. I would be rightly called a nutter for saying that, because they are "obviously" healthy.

But here we all are, discussing one such obviously, from a medical point of view, insane sources with insane claims. Yet after we have gone through the claims of the materials here, they verify and add up. Even if the initial contact was very odd and unusual.

Same applies to the Schi-Human barrier. And by Schi in this context. I mean woken up Schizophrenic who has sufficient common sense to avoid all kinds of "mental hospitals" and clue in on what is going on. And why such facilities exist for real.

Once a fully realized Schi meets a fully realized Human/normal person. The difference in the Schi mindset and the Human mindset are made patently obvious.

The Schi persona lives day to day and at the night at the end of the day entirely boots their reality, they believe, at the core of their being, that everything outside is a reflection of everything within and what they see, is what they put out, AT THAT MOMENT!!!!!! and this is they key. They believe the connection is that they are receiving immediate karma, and not delayed karma. For the most part.

This may not be obvious as to why this connects to Ra material but think about it.

5th Density negatives (thoughts that want to head to a negative outcome but aren't expressed thus reside in negative) are super compact and see no need in other selves as they see the karma as being instant.

Now the only difference between this and normal people is that normal people also get the same system and the same karma. But they believe that Karma runs in "long time" and not in "short time."

That is to say, if I kill a flower, I might get karma for it eventually, but if I do something before the karma returns to me I can ameliorate it and eventually disperse it entirely by doing the opposite (planting said flower in a new pot).

But if a Schi person or a person in the Schi mindset kills a flower they will get the karma immediately due to the tremendous spiritual pressure that their desire to remove themselves from the body due to the initial self hate generates in the mixed messages and eventually the disintegration of the mind complex and the inability of the spirit complex (perceived guides/friends/environment) to succesfully detach this mind complex from the totality of its illusion due to the nature of its existence.

If on the other hand this is accepted as "the nature of things" then quick dismantling of the Schi perception can be underatken by simply moving the "point when it all ends" and "the point when it all begins" to outside of the accepted and understood reality.

That is to say "I will get a reply to this in some form, but I know not what, because I grant the entities free will to answer in any form they want. In any way they want, in any area they want."

But this is only possible if the state itself is accepted as being valid and no longer hated/resisted/wanted to get out of. Which requires the removal of acceptance of medical communitys opinion of what is "the Schi mindset".

Therefore. The crux of my argument returns to where I began it.

What if Schizophrenia is what we call a state of self hatred that extends to attempts to control the other selves to hate the self too. Because you leave the other self no other options to contact you except those that reinforce your delusion/illusion that it is a negative state to begin with. Aka. Self Hatred.

That which separates those that go "oh cool, spirits and fairies. soooo cool."

from those that go "Oh god, I see those things again."

Self hatred is the key to why the two patterns of reaction diverge and eventually create two entirely different ways of perceiving the karma.

I perceive myself as being immortal through reincarnation and thus any stuff that I do now that requires a "karmic response" will happen either to me, or some other me, but it will happen in proper balance. I feel no need to rush and no need to punish myself (in the optimum case, such as when explaining this when I am "feeling" those energies I describe.) and as a result I have no negative reactions and very few negative encounters / thoughts. But when I start to rush, and get the need to punish myself and so on, the negative reactions get stronger and stronger. But if I "make peace with the totality of my being" before starting to push. I can push until the point of physical exhaustion and death while all thoughts are in alignment and in agreement with what I do.

So when I get experiences which border on the halluincatory. I can easily side step them and know that I would not really care if my friend was a 10 meter tall tentacle monster that has hands that turn into worms and cause humans eyes to explode out of their heads. As long as that is not what is generally kept up and my eyes dont explode.

I simply prefer my friend to look like a human but I have no objection to them looking like what ever they darn well please to look like.

So that got me thinking, why despite repeated strong attempts I have never been able to really get myself to "go nuts". I have gone to places I really should nto have and talked with entities that will haunt me til the day I die but I never "lost grasp" of what I was doing because every time I saw an entity I simply thought "huh. I wonder what goes on next." Even when I felt one of my friends turn into one of the coldest STs entities I have EVER felt. And by that I mean I could feel him 2-3 meters away being colder than anything I have ever felt before down deep into the kind of cold that makes you panic and feels like your heart is ripped out of your cheast. All it made me do was miss my girlfriend at that time and throw my friend out, for a few days. After that we met again, had fun and made music.

I'm sure that most people would flip out at knowing someone who can do make a person feel that and who has the ability to look like a gaping maw of hell when I'm on mushrooms. But even after the events. I never really felt the need to question my sanity. It felt natural and still does. He has a personality that is sufficiently opposite to me that if I were to entirely and unconditionally accept his view as my own I would dissapear. That in no way means that I cant work with him, if I feel the need to.

But such a entity, would most likely for many, make their self-hatred pop up and cause schi-psychosis. So. Even after running across entities and beigns like this. I do not, in general, feel the need to consider the world any stranger today than it was 5 years ago.

Or 15 years ago, when I first talked with a Valkyrie.

Or 5 years ago when I was introduced to a Goddess.

Or 1-2 years ago when chatting here I was talking with the Godhead and women capable of entering my dreams/mind and really messing with me 10 times to sunday. I'm looking at you Mr's painter who made a mask painting of me...

What is it that makes some people hate themselves over seeing "strange things" so much that they crawl up in a ball in the corner and just vanish.

That in itself is the true cause and the true study of Schi. Not if its an infection there or too much serotonin here. It is why use the altered states that you possess to beat down on yourself day after day, and week after week.

Why not use, what is obviously an ability to shift into a paraller reality that others cant see to your benefit. Just try something. And here is why I think I never developed anything "really bad" despite doing stuff that should have literally left me in the morgue 10 times over.

Believe and love your body complex so much that you feel that when you are pushed out of it you know that it will always do the "right thing" and you can casually observe the altered state knowing that since you are not in your body it is doing "the right thing". And if it is not, you will hear of it and correct it later but now is not the time to worry since you cant do anything about it right now anyway and you might as well sit back and enjoy the ride and see what is up when you notice you are grounded again.

That has saved me from running out the door for all times except my first real trip which was 3-4 hours of 160bpm non stop and a trip to the hospital but thats another story.

So, in the end. I can only surmise looking at the stories and activies that I did and how I pulled out of them and how others didnt and how their activies ended in multiple attempted suicides and hospitalizations that the only key difference that runs in my favor constantly is my ability to believe that what ever happens my body/guides of my body know exactly what to do, better than I do.

In a way. What has saved me is my belief that in a way, I am an accepted hinderance on my body and my body can live its own life for quite a while without me running around inside it, as long as I return and ground into it sufficiently often to let it know its still doing the right thing like the good boy it is *scratches self*.

So from that I have never been worried even when I know full well I am disconnected from the moment to moment consensus reality of this earth and DEEP into the consensus reality of alternative earths where even a minor glitch could end up with me being dead and never to return to my body. Because I know my body could live without me, while I cant live without my body, as my body is "me".

Why is it then, that people like me never truly develop a full disconnection from reality that is associated with the full blown Schi. I believe it is because I have to force myself to hate myself enough to disconnect through hate. I cant believe that the suffering I have endured is justified in its direction against me specifically and can only believe it to be a artifact of this consensus reality that we have all established and agreed to establish.

That way I can feel, experience or see anything, and keep myself disconnected while in balance with it.

I have, in my life, caused the death of 2nd density other selves with the power of directed intention towards killing said 2nd density other selves, that were also my friends. And I know full well that the Karma for actions like these will come to me and I will accept it when it comes / as it is coming. But why is it that for me it is not sufficient to knock me into a spiral of self hate that ends in... well.. we all know where that ends and some people, even on this forum, even with the very same or very similar experiences do sink into that spiral.

I don't hate myself for causing harm to my 2nd density friend. I mourn for myself, I mourn for my friend, I mourn for all of us that this had to happen, I mourn for the time when I will have to feel this pain when something is taken from me /is taken from me/will be taken from me that I can not prevent. But I hold no place for hate for myself.

I hold only curiosity in how, if I truly did hold hate for myself, would this reality turn and the roles in creation pivot around the one who is most dense.

That is my curiosity, and I suppose, in a way, it is what protects me.

Though this is all just theory and some of it pretty rambling but its what I've been trying to put together while I've been observing several of my good friends here interact and try to piece together what they are hiding behind their energies so that I can copy it and mimic the insanity they choose to exist in so that I may one day be able to take them out of it to, perhaps, softer insanities.

So. In closing. Its not the part of the brain and how it changes that I have any interest in, that I leave for the doctors and the chirurgons to figure out, I am interested in what actions bring the soul from the soul of the body where such things don't exist to the soul of the body where such things exist. Since I know why my soul brought me to such a body (curiosity) I don't the reasoning of all other selves in relation to this and can't form a true consensus until I see all archtypes / styles of this personality interact with me from all angels. Then my curiosity will be sated. What I do then I haven't decided yet.

Thank you for your comment Aureus though, It got me writing.

Quote:"the left cingulate gyrus tends to become thinner in schizophrenia relative to the healthy control population.
the results suggest that left cingulate gyrus size may be inversely related to severity of hallucinations in schizophrenia."

Left cingulate gyrus: The solar plexus

I'm sure the brain is full of things both directly and inversly related to the strength of the 3rd eye and its ability to project desired reality into the exterior.

That was perfection. You basically summed up what I go through on a daily basis. Lack of love for self is the cause of all my problems, because it starts and ends that way: with the self.

Schizophrenia spectrum

Key laboratory tests
Blood histamine
Absolute Basophils
Urine Pyrroles
Plasma Zinc
Serum copper
Serum Ceruloplasmin
RBC Metallothionein
RBC (Essential) Fatty Acids


5 Types

1) Histapenic 45%
2) Histadelic 18%
3) Pyroluric 27%
4) Gluten intolerance 4%
5) Other 6%

Histapenic

Biochemistry

• Low blood histamine (overmethylation) (<0.4)
• Elevated serum copper
• Low Zinc
• Low homocysteine
• Over methylation
• High Noradrenaline

Medications

• Adverse reactions to anti-histamines (psychosis)
• Good response to benzodiazepines
• Adverse reactions to SSRI’s
• Improvement on Lithium
• Adverse reaction to oestrogen therapy
• Adverse reaction to Methionine/SAMe

Symptoms

• Auditory hallucinations
• Paranoia
• High anxiety/panic
• Food/chemical sensitivities
• High pain threshold
• Past Hx ADHD
• Nil family history
• Hirsutism
• Excema/dry skin
• Poor achiever
• Poor motivation
• Artistic/musical ability
• Low libido
• Overweight
• Easily frustrated
• Sleep disorder
• Depression
• Self mutilation
• Tinnitus
• Self isolation
• Non-Bizarre delusions
• Religiosity & Grandiosity
• Depression
• High physical activity
• Paranoid Schizophrenia is the most common diagnoses

Nutrient Therapy

• Folate 0.5mg bid
• Niacinamide – 1000mg bid
• Vitamin B12 (sublingual) 1000mcg bid
• Niacin or Niacinamide (B3)
• Zinc – ½ mg/kg + 20mg up to 70 mg pm Manganese
• Vitamin B6 – 500mg am
• P-5-P – 500mg pm
• Vitamin C - 1000mg bid
• Vitamin E – 500IU bid
• DMAE
• Avoid Inositol & Methionine
• Promote Metallothionein
• Expect improvement after 8 weeks. Full treatment = 12 months

Histadelic

Biochemistry

• Elevated blood histamine (undermethylation)
• Elevated absolute Basophils
• Under-methylation
• Low Ceruloplasmin (copper containing endogenous globulin)
• Excessive Free radical copper

Medications

• Adverse reactions to Benzodiazepines
• Good response to antihistamines
• Adverse reactions to B complex vitamins
• Good response to SSRI’s

Symptoms

• Severe delusions
• Obsessive compulsive behaviours
• Social isolation
• High internal anxiety
• Catatonic tendencies
• Calm demeanour
• High motivation
• High libido
• Heat intolerant
• Seasonal allergies
• Diagnoses of OCD/OD
• Delusional
• Denial of condition
• Non-compliance
• Social isolation
• Low pain tolerance
• Sparse hair growth
• Addictive behaviour
• High achiever before illness and through school
• High energy
• Phobias
• Schizoaffective Disorder most common diagnoses

Nutrient Therapy

• L-Methionine – 1000mg bid
• Calcium – 1000mg bid
• Vitamin C - 1000mg bid
• Magnesium – 250mg am 500mg pm
• Vitamin A
• Vitamin B6 – 500mg am
• P-5-P – 500mg pm
• SAMe
• Zinc – ½ mg/kg + 20mg up to 70 mg pm
• Metallothionein promotion
• Avoid folate, choline, DMAE
• Usually have a strong aversion to treatment
• Expect improvement after 4 weeks. Full treatment = 12 months


Pyroluric

Krytopyrroles are a product of the breakdown of haemoglobin

Symptoms

• Onset during severe stress
• Delusions & Auditory hallucinations
• Extreme anxiety
• Depression & hopelessness
• Very pessimistic
• Social isolation
• Intolerance to stress
• Severe mood swings/temper
• Premature greying
• Food and chemical sensitivities
• Underachievement at school
• Reading problems
• Impulsive
• Hyperactive
• Tendency to skip breakfast
• Absence of dream recall
• Fair complexion
• Abnormal fat distribution (central weight gain)
• Sensitivity to light and sound
• Poor short term memory
• Dry skin

Biochemistry

• Elevated Krytopyrroles
• Severe B6 deficiency
• Severe Zinc Deficiency
• Low Arachidonic Acid levels
• Severe oxidative stress
• Low Glutathione & Metallothionein

Nutrient Therapy

• Vitamin B6 – 500mg am
• Pyridoxal-5-phosphate – 50mg am
• Zinc – ½ /mg per Kg + 20 mg up to 70 mg
• Manganese
• Evening Primrose Oil (Arachidonic acid)
• Limited doses of omega 3 oils (can make things worse)
• Vitamin C – 1000mg bid
• Vitamin E – 500IU bid
• Expect improvement after 1 month. Treatment = 9 months (improve the quickest)

Gluten Intolerance

• 4% of psychosis patients
• Incomplete breakdown of gluten proteins in GI
• Short peptides with opioid properties

Metallothionein promotion nutrients

Zinc picolinate
Glutathione
Selenium
Amino acids (x14)
Pyridoxine hydrochloride
Pyridoxal-5-phosphate
Vitamins A, B6, C & E


Essential Fatty Acid Therapies


Schizophrenia

• Histapenia or Histadelia: Omega 3 oils
• Pyroluria: Omega 6

The MOST important factor in mental/emotional disorders is oxidative stress

Neurodegeneration in Schizophrenia is due to oxidative stress but the trigger is usually environmental.