04-16-2013, 12:10 PM
you know, I didn't start meditating until quite late into the picture. I mean, I 'discovered' the spiritual path when I was 18, on a bad vacation in Malaysia, an awakening in a dark place, and I started reading and thinking about many new things. I wasn't a 'hardcore seeker'; I was interested in all things, not just the spiritual; but the flame had been awakened.
It was not until maybe 12 years later, when I was in my early 30's (I'm 36 now) that I truly started seeing myself via the lens of meditation. Up until then, I had quiet times on buses and public transport, when I could think, contemplate on things; but nothing like the practice of dedicated meditative activity.
it was the 'true awakening'. The self could be seen, finally, free of the bonds of a societal wrap. The self, of course, is largely defined by it's relationships to others, so one cannot really think on the self without consideration of others and mutual experiences. And these same relationships form many of the attractions and anxieties that consume our daily thoughts.
but back to the meditation. Here the mind could be observed; its pacings back and forth like a lion in a cage, its meanderings, its twistings, its connections of different memories, its processing. It was mighty active!
this process of observing the mind in quiet stillness, without outside stimuli of any sort (no music for eg), developed quite quickly. The mind became a laboratory to run experiments, to test some mantras, to apply affirmations, to try to force an OBE (quite unsuccessfully), and so forth. Much like I had enjoyed trying to figure out computers when I was an early teen, I took the same curious enthusiasm directly to this new toy; the consciousness.
and since that time, for maybe five or six years, the mind has been the great experiment. It is the Self, I believe, that can be known in its quietness, with just a little time out from the hectic busyness of life.
and to think that I had avoided this Self for the first 30 or so years of my time here. It is a Treasure with infinite depths.
It was not until maybe 12 years later, when I was in my early 30's (I'm 36 now) that I truly started seeing myself via the lens of meditation. Up until then, I had quiet times on buses and public transport, when I could think, contemplate on things; but nothing like the practice of dedicated meditative activity.
it was the 'true awakening'. The self could be seen, finally, free of the bonds of a societal wrap. The self, of course, is largely defined by it's relationships to others, so one cannot really think on the self without consideration of others and mutual experiences. And these same relationships form many of the attractions and anxieties that consume our daily thoughts.
but back to the meditation. Here the mind could be observed; its pacings back and forth like a lion in a cage, its meanderings, its twistings, its connections of different memories, its processing. It was mighty active!
this process of observing the mind in quiet stillness, without outside stimuli of any sort (no music for eg), developed quite quickly. The mind became a laboratory to run experiments, to test some mantras, to apply affirmations, to try to force an OBE (quite unsuccessfully), and so forth. Much like I had enjoyed trying to figure out computers when I was an early teen, I took the same curious enthusiasm directly to this new toy; the consciousness.
and since that time, for maybe five or six years, the mind has been the great experiment. It is the Self, I believe, that can be known in its quietness, with just a little time out from the hectic busyness of life.
and to think that I had avoided this Self for the first 30 or so years of my time here. It is a Treasure with infinite depths.
