04-20-2013, 09:12 PM
it is a common piece of folklore that if you are a woman looking to get serious with a man, you should examine the guy's relationship to their mother; and how he treats her.
it is also said that so-called pimps learn to control and manipulate women with 'daddy issues' by first giving their praise and acceptance, and then withholding it to get them to do their will. The women are so hungry and desperate to be accepted, they will do almost anything to earn that 'love'.
just recently, I've worked through a major blockage myself in relation to my sister. I have spoken to her before about this, and although I believe she forgave me years ago, I had still not forgiven myself. Anyway, this issue or conflict has been in play on my side for the better part of 3 decades, and I finally managed to go back to the first memory of it, and release it. I am almost ashamed to admit it, but this tension with my sister was generalised to all my interactions with women in my lifetime and has been the cause of much souring of friendships and closeness.
the point of these 3 above examples is that the family dynamics we have are very powerful indicators to acceptances that we may or may not have given. We knew before heading into this baby's body in the womb who *exactly* our parents were; their personalities, their distortions, their history of behaviour. And we chose it because it offered a good grounding for the lessons we wanted to learn in this lifetime.
so there are deep clues there. The relationship to mother, to father, to brother, to sister ... even perhaps if they do not appear to be nice, or loving, or kind ... it's our response to them that offers the catalyst. They might not love or accept us, but we sure can love and accept them. It maybe just what *they* need to accept themselves.
it is also said that so-called pimps learn to control and manipulate women with 'daddy issues' by first giving their praise and acceptance, and then withholding it to get them to do their will. The women are so hungry and desperate to be accepted, they will do almost anything to earn that 'love'.
just recently, I've worked through a major blockage myself in relation to my sister. I have spoken to her before about this, and although I believe she forgave me years ago, I had still not forgiven myself. Anyway, this issue or conflict has been in play on my side for the better part of 3 decades, and I finally managed to go back to the first memory of it, and release it. I am almost ashamed to admit it, but this tension with my sister was generalised to all my interactions with women in my lifetime and has been the cause of much souring of friendships and closeness.
the point of these 3 above examples is that the family dynamics we have are very powerful indicators to acceptances that we may or may not have given. We knew before heading into this baby's body in the womb who *exactly* our parents were; their personalities, their distortions, their history of behaviour. And we chose it because it offered a good grounding for the lessons we wanted to learn in this lifetime.
so there are deep clues there. The relationship to mother, to father, to brother, to sister ... even perhaps if they do not appear to be nice, or loving, or kind ... it's our response to them that offers the catalyst. They might not love or accept us, but we sure can love and accept them. It maybe just what *they* need to accept themselves.