Bring4th

I got into a heated debate today about one of my friendships.

I am friends with a 11 year old girl whom I've been friends with for 2-3 years now. I know her through one of my best friends sister. My friend, including his family (including her mother and their extended family), knows that I am friends with her. This is a point of much laughter and joy among "the community" since we both like cutesy anime, cutesy anime clothes and drawing. Her parents / my friends are quite alright with this (far as I can tell of course) though they consider it funny and "send out smiling love my way" when I think of their opinion regarding my friendship with this person.

She is currently trying to earn sufficient money to purchase tickets and the necessary clothes for a convention while I'm trying to procure sufficient money for soft plushy swords that I can give out to my entire group of friends so that we can practice some non lethal combat techniques such as boffing : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foam_weapon

She comes from a single parent home and thus doesn't have sufficient money so she asked me to help her collect bottles for the extra cash.

The heated part of the debate was when I was talking with my father about this and if it might be possible to procure some other work for her that doesn't involve touching cans left around by other people in even remotely unsanitary conditions, other work such as painting fences and/or gardening work. None was available, and more to the point, he got incensed at me to such a point that he said I should not be friends with this person and that its a matter of time before the police intervene, which caused me to go ?_? and ask him if he only thinks with his ding-dong and if his mind needs some work.

It got progressively worse after that.

Until:


I left after he refused to admit that what he said was hurtful and that he has no right to dictate whom other people can or cant be friends with.

There are many possible questions and a wide range of potential thoughts in relation to this that I have swirling around so I'm going to "ya'll" for feedback.

My point in talking about her to my father was not to introduce anyone but rather to inquire if some minor labor was available for her so to encourage trust and faith in other people and in the ability of other selves to provide opportunities for self improvement and financial gain if required. And was thus unprepared for my father to attempt to control whom I may or may not be friends with.

My feeling on this is that it is morally repugnant and wrong on every level to try to dictate whom someone else can be friends with and is a sign of a deep underlying fear.

Thoughts on this whole thing, feel free to be as upfront as any of you may want to be.

I agree with you, I see no issue with an older man and a young girl being friends. I think it's a sad thing that our society trains us to automatically see every relationship between a male and a female in terms of it's potential as a sexual one.

Your friendship with the girl is obviously an uncle-niece-type relationship rather than a boyfriend-girlfriend or child predator-victim relationship.

Such a relationship has been known to exist in circles of trusted family friends. I don't see why your father went that route. He probably has unresolved issues with you, or with the subject matter, or some other significant stressor at the time of the conversation. From that situation alone, I don't get the vibe he was trying to control your friends as much as he was acting out the societal mindset when it comes to unconventional friendships.

Thus, I wouldn't worry about it or take it personally. You are still the man!

Unconvential friendships are simply awesome. I remember having friendships with older men as a kid, they were considered to be the local 'village idiot' but their imagination was just amazing and they were absolutely harmless.
Indeed, don't worry what anybody else has to say about it.

I love hanging out and playing games with my girlfriends 9 year old sister, it's a blast aha

Good, Great. I'm trying to project the "void hagrid diplomat" image about my interactions with her so that is kind of what you guys should pick up!

Awesome

I was reading an AMA on Reddit with a 100+ year old man. He was asked what has changed the most in his life and he gave two answers: medical technology and the fear of crimes against children.
He said that there were never perverts around and kids were free to explore the world and talk to and befriend adults. It was an act of humanity, a part of community. Although he didn't know why this happened, he lamented the current deep fear of children interacting with the world.

A day after reading this I was talking with a group of friends (I'm 33) and a young boy, looked to be about 4, came over and gave me a hug around the legs. I looked up and saw his mother, a total stranger, just kind of shrug as if to say 'that's what they do'.

*nod*

Good answers everyone.