05-29-2013, 08:54 PM
Help me understand my father. (I've been staying with them for over a month as I stay with my parents while studying for another bar exam this summer).
He's angry and frustrated probably five out of seven days of the week for the past few years. Not family dysfunctional angry, but angry as in keeps to himself and frustrated and snaps at you if you talk to him. He's been like this for the last ten years, but back then it occurred maybe 2-3 days a week. Now it's 5 out of 7. He basically seems always a little depressed. I've said this, and he denies it. He's the type of person that refuses to acknowledge that anything is bothering him, even when something obviously is. Even when he's in a good mood he doesn't ever talk as if he's introspective or has any concerns as to his moods. He doesn't recognize that anything is wrong and says he is happy, but he is clearly not, even when he says he is happy its said in a kind of dull way. He's the type of person who never talks about his feelings. I can even say that to him, and he just says he doesn't have any discomforting feelings to talk about and that he's not big on feelings anyway. It's just bizarre, but he never talks about his emotions, or feelings, or anything that's bothering him. I've basically told him that, and he acts like I'm reading way too much into things. He's not spiritual, but he always hears what we (my mother and I) are talking about spiritually and usually doesn't engaged, and is very skeptical the few times he does engage us.
What I just don't get, is how can he be so out of touch with his own emotional states and not talk it? For months/years? The only thing I can think about is some taboo about mental health issues in Indian culture, but I really don't get it. There are some things in his life that he may not have dealt with, such as the early death of his brother 5 years ago, but he just never talks about it, even when asked, saying nothing is bothering him, in a very unconvincing voice.
The few times I've asked him about his dreams maybe once a month he remembers a reoccurring dream where he was being chased by someone or some animals. The other reoccurring dream he has he shows for an exam unprepared. (His professional life is totally in order, both quality wise and how much money he brings in). He thinks dreams are nonsense.
I just don't get it. I've never had a chance to be this close to someone who is just seemingly in outward denial as to his mood. Its hard to accept though I'm trying, because I just truly don't understand.
He doesn't have to be spiritual or make a choice. But I wish he would at least do some basic introspection stuff to address his unhappiness!!
He's angry and frustrated probably five out of seven days of the week for the past few years. Not family dysfunctional angry, but angry as in keeps to himself and frustrated and snaps at you if you talk to him. He's been like this for the last ten years, but back then it occurred maybe 2-3 days a week. Now it's 5 out of 7. He basically seems always a little depressed. I've said this, and he denies it. He's the type of person that refuses to acknowledge that anything is bothering him, even when something obviously is. Even when he's in a good mood he doesn't ever talk as if he's introspective or has any concerns as to his moods. He doesn't recognize that anything is wrong and says he is happy, but he is clearly not, even when he says he is happy its said in a kind of dull way. He's the type of person who never talks about his feelings. I can even say that to him, and he just says he doesn't have any discomforting feelings to talk about and that he's not big on feelings anyway. It's just bizarre, but he never talks about his emotions, or feelings, or anything that's bothering him. I've basically told him that, and he acts like I'm reading way too much into things. He's not spiritual, but he always hears what we (my mother and I) are talking about spiritually and usually doesn't engaged, and is very skeptical the few times he does engage us.
What I just don't get, is how can he be so out of touch with his own emotional states and not talk it? For months/years? The only thing I can think about is some taboo about mental health issues in Indian culture, but I really don't get it. There are some things in his life that he may not have dealt with, such as the early death of his brother 5 years ago, but he just never talks about it, even when asked, saying nothing is bothering him, in a very unconvincing voice.
The few times I've asked him about his dreams maybe once a month he remembers a reoccurring dream where he was being chased by someone or some animals. The other reoccurring dream he has he shows for an exam unprepared. (His professional life is totally in order, both quality wise and how much money he brings in). He thinks dreams are nonsense.
I just don't get it. I've never had a chance to be this close to someone who is just seemingly in outward denial as to his mood. Its hard to accept though I'm trying, because I just truly don't understand.
He doesn't have to be spiritual or make a choice. But I wish he would at least do some basic introspection stuff to address his unhappiness!!
