I never get any random emails, facebook messages, texts or phone calls from anybody. In fact, the last time I did was when I was 12 or 13. Ever since then, my social life went into decline.
98% of the time if I want to talk to people, I have to start the conversation or reply to one that is already ongoing. If I just let my inboxes sit for a month or so, I'll likely find little to nothing. It's like I wasn't even gone
Now, I don't want anyone to start messaging me out of pity. That's not my point. In fact, I'll probably be annoyed by it. This is just a matter of general curiosity. I know many people have this problem.
I just want to know this: Are some people just not generally liked for whatever reason or is there a quantifiable factor here for why some people just aren't talked to or engaged?
There is a quantifiable factor to how likely you are to get random encounter in this world. IT depends on the items you carry, the stats you have, the quests you are on.
Edit: Random Encounter™ means anything that stands out of the norm of "no one ever doing anything and waiting for you to decide which way to push the fabric of reality."
In my experience, your status or perceived social status (yellow!) in the social hierarchy corresponds directly with how often acquaints/causal friends communicate with you.
If you are not ok with this deep down, there's probably also some orange to work upon.
I wouldn't have believed myself a year ago if I talked about as if every concept can be linked back to energy centers, but s*** I totally think its true these days. Energy center concepts are such a useful tool in navigating consciousness.
I only say all this because I've noticed a similar effect as you with regards to random communication, but it contrasts with work friends who go out of their way to include me (cause I own at work
), and I've also noticed that in the past I had trouble accepting the situation, but it was really a lack of self-acceptance in many instances. Things are looking good now though, so its all good!
(06-01-2013, 03:03 AM)Adonai One Wrote: [ -> ]I never get any random emails, facebook messages, texts or phone calls from anybody. In fact, the last time I did was when I was 12 or 13. Ever since then, my social life went into decline.
98% of the time if I want to talk to people, I have to start the conversation or reply to one that is already ongoing. If I just let my inboxes sit for a month or so, I'll likely find little to nothing. It's like I wasn't even gone
Now, I don't want anyone to start messaging me out of pity. That's not my point. In fact, I'll probably be annoyed by it. This is just a matter of general curiosity. I know many people have this problem.
I just want to know: Are some people just not generally liked for whatever reason or is there a quantifiable factor here for why some people just aren't talked to or engaged?
Ask and ye shall receive. Ask and maintain the energy of asking for an increased number of random social interactions.
(06-01-2013, 03:46 AM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]If you are not ok with this deep down, there's probably also some orange to work upon.
I am okay with it. I could commit to it by living alone in the wilderness, which I have considered doing. But it's pretty darn boring sometimes. Again, the reason I made this thread is not to voice emotional discontent but rather to see what causes this.
I really doubt my chakras are acting as a repulsion field.
(06-01-2013, 03:55 AM)Not Sure Wrote: [ -> ]Ask and ye shall receive. Ask and maintain the energy of asking for an increased number of random social interactions.
I have yet to see this is possible metaphysically or otherwise. Besides, I rather not force people to speak with me. I don't feel entitled to a darn thing.
I rather see people talk to me because they want to.
(06-01-2013, 03:56 AM)Adonai One Wrote: [ -> ] (06-01-2013, 03:46 AM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]If you are not ok with this deep down, there's probably also some orange to work upon.
I am okay with it. I could commit to it by living alone in the wilderness, which I have considered doing. But it's pretty darn boring sometimes. Again, the reason I made this thread is not to voice emotional discontent but rather to see what causes this.
I really doubt my chakras are acting as a repulsion field.
(06-01-2013, 03:55 AM)Not Sure Wrote: [ -> ]Ask and ye shall receive. Ask and maintain the energy of asking for an increased number of random social interactions.
I have yet to see this is possible metaphysically or otherwise. Besides, I rather not force people to speak with me. I don't feel entitled to a darn thing.
I rather see people talk to me because they want to.
So you want to see them want to talk to you and you dont want to ask them to want to talk to you? Makes little sense but I'll respect it.
1. Establish that you want company and people to talk with.
2. Figure out that this is already established due to being on a social planet.
3. Figure out why you are keeping the people that want to talk to you away from you intentionally.
4. Drop defences and let them come to you, with the appropriate asking beforehand due to STO entities in general not appearing unless asked to appear.
(06-01-2013, 04:05 AM)Not Sure Wrote: [ -> ]So you want to see them want to talk to you and you dont want to ask them to want to talk to you? Makes little sense but I'll respect it.
If somebody values your company, they will come to you inevitably. You won't have to ask. If you have to ask them, you are asking for pity. Pity is an act made out of guilt and shame; worthless as the base of a relationship
Perhaps, but even if they value your company they wont climb mount everest to find you. They might walk up to you on the street though.
Most people are conditional, they rely on you to provide something they are currently unable to create for themselves. So either you figure out what they lack and give it to them.. Or you balance your need for that type of attention, rendering you gradually more happily independent.
(06-01-2013, 05:29 AM)Aureus Wrote: [ -> ]Most people are conditional, they rely on you to provide something they are currently unable to create for themselves. So either you figure out what they lack and give it to them.. Or you balance your need for that type of attention, rendering you gradually more happily independent.
Feel free to be more blunt. So your theory is that some people aren't intrinsic enough to garner friendships?
Edit: Meh, this was rude. Pardon me. To rephrase this: Should one be unique to be attractive to others?
Well, for one, you're asking us to talk to you instead of posting a topic called "unsolicited discussions" or better yet, treehouse.
Anyways, I didn't want this to be about me. I am just curious about actual reasons for this phenomenon. As for balancing these emotions and all else, I know, I am aware.
Regardless, thank you all.
(06-01-2013, 05:39 AM)Adonai One Wrote: [ -> ]Feel free to be more blunt. So your theory is that some people aren't intrinsic enough to garner friendships?
Edit: Meh, this was rude. Pardon me. To rephrase this: Should one be unique to be attractive to others?
No. In fact, I see a trend opposite to uniqueness.
What I meant was.. People want to feel good about themselves, they want to feel validated, belonging. So when the urge arouses for any such thing, they will reach for the person they associate with it.
If you are hungry but your fridge is empty, you will naturally seek an outer foodsource.
(06-01-2013, 06:22 AM)Aureus Wrote: [ -> ] (06-01-2013, 05:39 AM)Adonai One Wrote: [ -> ]Feel free to be more blunt. So your theory is that some people aren't intrinsic enough to garner friendships?
Edit: Meh, this was rude. Pardon me. To rephrase this: Should one be unique to be attractive to others?
No. In fact, I see a trend opposite to uniqueness.
What I meant was.. People want to feel good about themselves, they want to feel validated, belonging. So when the urge arouses for any such thing, they will reach for the person they associate with it.
If you are hungry but your fridge is empty, you will naturally seek an outer foodsource.
Meh. I tend to disdain the idea of relationships being like this: Just one feeding off another emotionally.
I would like to think a great relationship involved one valuing an individual as they are and enjoying that presence, not for a sense of belonging or validation but just for who they are. The person might be similar to you or someone you strive to be... but it doesn't necessarily have to be about validation, a completely self-oriented act.
Regardless, I am now conflicted. It all seems so primitive to me now. Humans seem like animals to me now. We must be primitive beings for this all seems so simplistic, so meaningless.
Thats what it is, partly at least. Giving and taking. Only green ray is giving without expecting back.
I'm quite the loner myself, I have a few friends from childhood that I have established green-ray or higher with(at distance tho). My interests are currently so incompatible with the interests of co-workers etc, so it stays on a surface-level relationship. And if I feel lonely I know its because I'm out of shape, energy wise.
*scratches his rather large fluffy beard and ponders the answers*
(06-01-2013, 06:43 AM)Aureus Wrote: [ -> ]Thats what it is, partly at least. Giving and taking. Only green ray is giving without expecting back.
I'm quite the loner myself, I have a few friends from childhood that I have established green-ray or higher with(at distance tho). My interests are currently so incompatible with the interests of co-workers etc, so it stays on a surface-level relationship. And if I feel lonely I know its because I'm out of shape, energy wise.
There is a biological loneliness that can be extrapolated beyond the energy centers if I recall Ra correctly, so don't blame yourself entirely. A lot of social desire can be equated with sexual desire.
Anyways, you've inspired me. I should be grateful for the green-ray relationships I have with my immediate family. A single green-ray relationship alone is very valuable.
There is no one particular cause for this. One calls to themselves the relationships that reflect their most ingrained understanding and attractive beliefs. Does one like themselves? Do they feel they themselves are of value? Or is the self held back from others and made as invisible like a shadow? Do you let yourself be seen?
I asked myself these very questions at one points in some of my life, and actually experienced a very similar thing where no one would ever talk to me unless I talked to them first and for a long time I took it personally. Then, over time I began to realize that I didn't want people to talk to me. I wanted to stay hidden and mysterious like a shadow to protect what I saw as my weakest parts. I didn't allow people to see me and so they didn't. I had no light shining, I kept it all inside.
Then someone found me. A wise teacher who gave me everything, all their wisdom and love and support, and helped me to grow the Seed of Life and Light within me. Then more teachers appeared and suddenly I had all these people and beings sending me love and light and offering their help. My first teacher gave me a way through the darkness, my next teachers ignited that flame to its full potential.
As the master before me, I offer this flame but I do not decide who gets it. Only the flame knows and is capable of determining itself. I merely offer my light in the dark and many have begun to be drawn. Blessings to you, brother.
I worked with my first teacher for 3 months straight. We bonded very closely, and then I went in to a month of isolation while she was in India and when we she returned we got together once and then I have not seen her since. I asked the Akashic Record Keepers during a reading with them through a lady I know about her and they said her records were 'closed', which meant she was either dead or had become an ascended master. I know she is not dead, I have asked others who have heard from her, and so I know it must be the latter. Perhaps we will meet again.
You will often find that on a subconscious level you and your Guides work together to create an 'optimal learning environment', even if the conscious mind may not necessarily be aware of so. This includes the 'outer' social context, and the personality configuration of the individual in question in order to not detract/distract from that which may prove opportunistic. Seemingly random coincidences such as a Friend meaning to email you to catch up, but got distracted at that exact time can be the work of 'external' influences, if the potential is there to lead one in a situation not of their path.
This is but one causal mechanism, and may not necessarily be applicable to yourself. As Eternal stated, it is possible that at some deep core part of your being you prefer to be left alone at this time, and any 'insecurities' are merely the Ego personality structure comparing it's current status to that which it has been programmed it must strive towards (Social dominance, say). Independent seeking is an important part of evolution for the psyche, perhaps even necessary, as can be seen from the 'Hermit' archetype in the Tarot.
(06-01-2013, 07:24 AM)TheEternal Wrote: [ -> ]There is no one particular cause for this. One calls to themselves the relationships that reflect their most ingrained understanding and attractive beliefs. Does one like themselves? Do they feel they themselves are of value? Or is the self held back from others and made as invisible like a shadow? Do you let yourself be seen?
I asked myself these very questions at one points in some of my life, and actually experienced a very similar thing where no one would ever talk to me unless I talked to them first and for a long time I took it personally. Then, over time I began to realize that I didn't want people to talk to me. I wanted to stay hidden and mysterious like a shadow to protect what I saw as my weakest parts. I didn't allow people to see me and so they didn't. I had no light shining, I kept it all inside.
Then someone found me. A wise teacher who gave me everything, all their wisdom and love and support, and helped me to grow the Seed of Life and Light within me. Then more teachers appeared and suddenly I had all these people and beings sending me love and light and offering their help. My first teacher gave me a way through the darkness, my next teachers ignited that flame to its full potential.
As the master before me, I offer this flame but I do not decide who gets it. Only the flame knows and is capable of determining itself. I merely offer my light in the dark and many have begun to be drawn. Blessings to you, brother.
I worked with my first teacher for 3 months straight. We bonded very closely, and then I went in to a month of isolation while she was in India and when we she returned we got together once and then I have not seen her since. I asked the Akashic Record Keepers during a reading with them through a lady I know about her and they said her records were 'closed', which meant she was either dead or had become an ascended master. I know she is not dead, I have asked others who have heard from her, and so I know it must be the latter. Perhaps we will meet again.
Wow that's an awesome reply. Very cool experience.
(06-01-2013, 04:12 AM)Adonai One Wrote: [ -> ] (06-01-2013, 04:05 AM)Not Sure Wrote: [ -> ]So you want to see them want to talk to you and you dont want to ask them to want to talk to you? Makes little sense but I'll respect it.
If somebody values your company, they will come to you inevitably. You won't have to ask. If you have to ask them, you are asking for pity. Pity is an act made out of guilt and shame; worthless as the base of a relationship
I am somewhat the same, Adonai One. Even with my family, they rarely call me or write to me. I'm almost always the one who initiates contact. It annoys my husband, who wonders why our phone only dials out, or why I am the one who has to go visit them instead of them coming to visit me. But that is family and is a little different than friends and acquaintenances.
I agree with you to some degree that if someone will only call or come visit out of pity, I'd rather they not bother. But I also have to try to turn the situation around and try to look at it from their point of view. On occasion, I have found that the individual at the other end of the equation is feeling the same way I am. They don't want to ask because they don't want me to be in touch because I pity them. This creates a stalemate in which no one wins.
I've learned that when I think of someone or wonder about someone, it's time for me to reach out and touch someone. But that is my story.
I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you as you create your own story.
I personally take you for granted Adonai One, I see you everywhere at this time thus I have no need to contact you as you already communicate true the threads you make. If I find interest in a title made by you I may give it a look and post, even if it may not be directly talking to you. Yet I see no further reason to contact you, if a discussion arises from a thread I will have my say there. I agree with what all others here have said, I just offer my personal specific view on it in regards to you at this time.
I suggest showing interest in others if that is what you wish to have happen to you.
Also I find you awesome for offering so much, it really livens this place up in my eyes. Thank you!
Bullshit. I sent you an unsolicited message this very morning.
It's been said but I'll try some other wording:
The search is applicable to all aspects of life. If you search social interaction it will come to you.
I was going to make a more serious post on this topic, but the server errors are so bad I just dumped it onto your facebook instead.
(06-01-2013, 03:56 AM)Adonai One Wrote: [ -> ] (06-01-2013, 03:46 AM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]If you are not ok with this deep down, there's probably also some orange to work upon.
I am okay with it. I could commit to it by living alone in the wilderness, which I have considered doing. But it's pretty darn boring sometimes. Again, the reason I made this thread is not to voice emotional discontent but rather to see what causes this.
I really doubt my chakras are acting as a repulsion field.
My thoughts on this matter are of a certain focus. On rereading your question, it is very broad, as there are tons of subcategories of social interactions.
However, my answer was about how yellow draws people to us, not that a dim yellow repels people. However, it is also correct that depends on the type or setting and people of the interaction, and sometimes, such as networking situation, it comes down to valuation.
I've experienced this yellow phenomenon in two distinct settings:
(1) Having moved around a few times, and I've had to create friend groups from scratch (meetup.com and amateur leagues are the best way!)
(2) Having talked to a sub-type of women as they enter relationships with men as to what attracts them their current man
Certainly, these two areas of subsets of a number of social interactions. However, I've found that in both of these instances, theres people seem to have an ineffable attraction to people with a strong yellow, independent of true common interests or actual value. I've gotten into casual friend circles, and been in casual friend circles as expand. The number #1 common factor in someone getting invited or even coming up in a person's mind (other than pre-planned events) is that a person is (a) "cool." That label seems a informal way of signifying that person is chill and cool and sociable. It doesn't take much. A few interesting stories here and there in small talk (where others listen to you, yellow), maybe a few jokes (once again, if multiple people laugh it serves to give you more social status), or just doing something like playing a damn good game of beer pong. Usually afterward, you are rarely remembered as "a good storyteller" or "funny" unless you really are #1 in that talent, you just get a label of being "cool". Perhaps a way of seeing it is that your presence has value to the group, but I don't think many people get that rational about. It's about a feel, about a vibe, about the energy you have, or your yellow imho.
Similarly, when you talk to women who start to date a badboy, they are hard pressed to list actual value of why they are attracted to them. It's a certain ineffable quality, of badboys doing what they wish, that attracts them. It's the energy. The yellow energy.
Neither of this should come as a great surprise, as we are in the density based on yellow energy (or were, up until recently). Of course, my comment is limited to these two situations - basically breaking into a circle of casual friends, and perhaps the dating circles. There are numerous other sub-types of social situation where things are different. For example, in a pure networking situation, I believe a person's actual value is probably more rationally considered.
I really think that as human beings, we fundamentally are trained to be sensitive to energy in my opinion, though we term it things like "cool" "confidence" "chill".
However, close relationships and close friends, of course, are a different story. As always, take whatever I say that resonates, and leave the rest behind my friend
All I have to say is: welcome to the club. I used to be a bit put off by this but now that I have accepted it as part of my introverted nature, I don't worry about it in the least. For my case in particular, I am horrible at 'small talk' which leaves me very little (read: none) opportunity for people to start conversations with me unless it is about a specific topic.
Parsons, you're pretty chill in person bro. Glad we met at the last homecoming!
If you believe that you making the first step equals receiving pity, perhaps you should re-explore your thoughts and ideas in regards to relationships and frienship, Adonai. In the word relationship, you will find the word "relation": a link that goes both ways, not just one. How about exploring the source of this feeling and healing it? I sense you are shielding (consciously or subconsciously) yourself from others right now, and until it will be resolved, you will only be partially open to relations with others, which results in your current situation.
The problem is usually within one self rather than outside. Start healing from within and others will come to you.