I just had a really intense and negative dream experience a few minutes ago. It was so intense I cried in my dreams. Here's how it all started.
I had some time today so I decided to spend it reading some more Law of One materials. I read the LOO section again about calling on light/RA for help, and decided to give it a try. So as soon as I finished reading that section, I laid down on the bed, increased my energy levels and so called upon the light to bring me enlightenment.
After a while I fell asleep, and like many other afternoon naps, they often help to serve as a form of dream meditation for me. However this one was a bit different. This one was not peaceful at all... and I didn't eat or drink alcohol before bed so that shouldn't have affected my mind.
It was about me and some friends/family going to a big show that I invited them to. It all started with me judging another in the method of driving/doing something, and that negativity brought on more of it, and then a car accident occurred. Nobody got hurt but there was some financial damage to the car.
After that we continued on to a big show in which I invited them to. As I was preparing and trying to find the seats once we arrived there, I found out that I lost my glasses and my cell phone, which is very necessary and important to me. I felt disconnected from communication, lost, and my eye sight blurred. So I started to panick.
As the grand show was about to start, I slowly found out that everyone who I invited took the bus to leave and abandon me, despite the difficulty of the location. I stumbled around with the help of a single family member that remained with me, assisted me in finding my cell phone, my glasses, and even found more stuff that I lost/abandoned before... symbolized by pens and an old pair of glasses.
I kept trying to call the people that abandoned me for a long time, until finally I got through. At that point the negative emotion built up to such an intense degree that I was heart wrenchingly crying as I asked repeatedly why I was abandoned.
Then I awoke. And then I saw the dual reality.
I knew I was in trouble at that point, the negative emotions was so strong that I knew within a few seconds it was going to integrate into my non-dream mind. I quickly closed my eyes and imagined rushing myself into an "emotion/energy emergency room". I did the symbol of the cross on my heart, and I quickly thought of all the types of negative thoughts and emotions that occurred within the dream, and countered them each with accepting it, and also accepted the opposite of it.
I accepted my judgement in the beginning, and I also accepted free will/choice of every person.
I felt my heart was still stuck in a negative state, so I tried to feel unconditional love blossom from my heart. That took a while but eventually I had some limited success.
Then I went on to feel what negative emotion was still hitting me hard and accepted it and its opposite. I don't remember the details anymore, but the laptop was right beside my bed and active, so that I could share this story with everyone.
The experience I just had within 1 hours time was super intense, it punched and wrenched my heart... but now that I have balanced it, it feels much lighter than ever. It was sorta like a "life experience microwave dinner"
I'm glad I asked for this experience, but it was also scary in that it might have overwhelmed me and caused real negativity in my emotions. Sorta like requesting a bungee jump I suppose?
Thoughts or advice on this are very welcome!
Because you are on your journey, and on one else you know understands it the way you do, you feel alone and isolated from those around you, those you love. This dream reflected your fears of such, and allowed you to feel the feelings which you have otherwise, I suspect, repressed. It was healthy, and part of your process. Try to feel those emotions and reflect on how they associate to those you care about. Don't fight it, as these feelings are as a river. Swim with them, and it will be much easier to get to shore.
Hello creationist, I can completely relate to your experience. You ask thus you recieve, to invite the love is to invite the appropriate lessons/balancing/energy work to achieve that state. I'm sure that you will, from this experience, blossom into great love.
My greatest revelations has only occured after a period of negativity. You ride out the storm, so to speak, to see the great stillness and beauty after.
You invite yourself into your life, and you were blessed with this powerful experience in the way Peregrinus outline.
I think it's meaningful to remember, while in the midst of turmoil and negativity, that we are taking the school of life, hoping to graduate some day. And this class just happens to have the meanest teachers.. so it can just get better after that!
The theater might represent the world, the car the journey, the losses could represent the feeling of scarcity. And the abandonment is the loss of unity.
You asked for an experience of guidance, which brought up a lot of negative images. Which you then healed. Residual negativity remained. But healing often amplifies pain before taking it away.
Don't consider the experience too negative, it was intense and some care in not overloading your self is sensible. Take a little time to recover and enjoy the feeling that you've done some healing. You might already see it making minor differences. Then when the time comes there will be more experiences. But they will reflect the changes you made, they will be easier. The real benefits lie in the changes that will affect your entire being for the better.
Your response was correct I think. But I'd like to suggest another technique for the toolkit, if you never end up using it that's fine too... Go back. After a bad dream, lie back down but instead of accepting go back, change it. Visualize yourself avoiding the car damage and getting pats on the back because of it. Visualize you finding your glasses and phone immediately after losing them. Embrace your friends before they go unto the bus staying to finish the rest of the dreamwork. Visualize the phone call to them in which you describe you love them and are not abandoned even with their absence, and realize they love you too. This is the dream technique I used primarily. And it sends a strong suggestion of mastery to your subconscious and also a template to which dreams and experiences are formed.
My nightmares were usually about fighting for my life, being chased by monsters or people. People attempting to kill me or me killing them. This technique turned into a strange but neutral phantasmagoric mix. The choices I made in going back are represented in the dream. When I'm chased now, I can run faster than a car. I can fly, I can turn invisible I can become one with trees or turn into water. I can move through earth and fit through the tiniest holes.
It's sometimes a little silly and sometimes a little brutal, but makes for interesting dreams
And the underlying message that there's always a way, no matter how insanely improbable seems to bleed through to waking life. The dream contexts haven't changed much but they're actually fun this way. I often wake up with a smile, or invigorated because I just jumped over a building or something crazy like that. The only difficulty is going to work after that
Dreams are a playground to me. I never really developed prophetic dreams or astral projection and such things. I just went back and changed things so often that my subconscious started to put the dreams in my format instead of the earlier fear based one.
(12-31-2009, 03:35 PM)creationist Wrote: [ -> ]It was sorta like a "life experience microwave dinner"
Ha ha! That would give me spiritual indigestion for sure.
Each element of your dream expresses a concept that you're not enough.
Just offering your company was not enough, you had to take people to a show and make all the arrangements yourself.
Your helpful driving was not enough, other people had to make their own transportation arrangements without considering the effect on you.
Your perception on safety and courtesy in driving was not enough, so there was an accident.
Your ability to perceive the show wasn't enough withiout help that was lost (the glasses).
Your ability to connect with other people wasn't enough without help that was lost (the phone).
The people even left before the show itself!
Your other lost belongings were not at your own home, but at the show that others didn't appreciate.
What would turn all of this around to a dream in which you were celebrated, appreciated and loved for being perfect just as you are?
(01-02-2010, 09:29 PM)Questioner Wrote: [ -> ]Ha ha! That would give me spiritual indigestion for sure.
Each element of your dream expresses a concept that you're not enough.
What would turn all of this around to a dream in which you were celebrated, appreciated and loved for being perfect just as you are?
Very interesting concept and I do feel truth in it for me at this point in time. I've let myself and others down so many times in my life, even though I am a perfectionist. So everytime that it happens it is almost unbearable for me and causes me no end of stress. I am currently working on this issue along with several others at the same time. This time here at bring4th forum is really helping me to integrate the various issues I am having, and merging them into "one".
(01-02-2010, 09:37 PM)creationist Wrote: [ -> ]I've let myself and others down so many times in my life, even though I am a perfectionist. So everytime that it happens it is almost unbearable for me and causes me no end of stress.
That is interesting. Perhaps the premise is that if you don't personally see to it that everything happens perfectly, it might totally all fall apart. Only your guidance with the driving, the show, the equipment, the plan could make an adequate evening. And then, the people for who you try to make everything perfect abandon you... without even asking what
you need. But what could they offer someone with all the perfect plans?
You asked for enlightenment, and got shown a story in which everything relied on you and nobody else considered how to help you. Then you woke up. Hmmm...
(01-02-2010, 10:03 PM)Questioner Wrote: [ -> ] (01-02-2010, 09:37 PM)creationist Wrote: [ -> ]I've let myself and others down so many times in my life, even though I am a perfectionist. So everytime that it happens it is almost unbearable for me and causes me no end of stress.
That is interesting. Perhaps the premise is that if you don't personally see to it that everything happens perfectly, it might totally all fall apart. Only your guidance with the driving, the show, the equipment, the plan could make an adequate evening. And then, the people for who you try to make everything perfect abandon you... without even asking what you need. But what could they offer someone with all the perfect plans?
You asked for enlightenment, and got shown a story in which everything relied on you and nobody else considered how to help you. Then you woke up. Hmmm...
I really don't know for sure what the truth is sometimes. I am a perfectionist in a way that I try to analyze as many paths and possibilities as possible, so that I can find the best plan of actions. After doing such calculations, I'm accused of being single/narrow minded and not considering other paths, when I've already done so.
It does get pretty frustrating. Of course I'm completely open to the possibility of me being wrong, but I can safely say that I am open to any and all options and opinions and I consider each carefully. Lately I've learned to avoid arguments by ignoring important factors and efficiencies, and going along with non-optimal choices suggested by others. While I do understand possible catalysts in alternate paths, people are not absorbing catalysts intelligently either.
Oh wow this turned into a rant =) I think I drove myself crazy for a second there! Haha thank you for this time opportunity for me to let off some steam.
(01-02-2010, 11:22 PM)creationist Wrote: [ -> ]I really don't know for sure what the truth is sometimes...
... yet also know for sure what paths others should follow.
Again: hmmm...
Quote:Oh wow this turned into a rant =) I think I drove myself crazy for a second there! Haha thank you for this time opportunity for me to let off some steam.
No problem. The only thing I know for sure about your experience is that the dream seems to be a direct answer to your request for enlightenment. Therefore there is considerable catalyst available for you to integrate in whatever way seems best to you.
(01-02-2010, 11:41 PM)Questioner Wrote: [ -> ] (01-02-2010, 11:22 PM)creationist Wrote: [ -> ]I really don't know for sure what the truth is sometimes...
... yet also know for sure what paths others should follow.
Again: hmmm...
I guess it's based on past experience and seeing other people repeatedly fail that I come to such conclusions. Can I tell the future? No... but I do try to calculate the most likely possibility. And just for reference, do I admit it when I'm wrong? Yes I do so immediately.
Though I suppose it's like teaching a child not to touch something that's too hot, even though I have experienced it myself... the child would have to get burned to truly learn it.
Quote:No problem. The only thing I know for sure about your experience is that the dream seems to be a direct answer to your request for enlightenment. Therefore there is considerable catalyst available for you to integrate in whatever way seems best to you.
While I have been aware of larger life lessons sometimes after the fact, I now try to take lessons from even the little things I come across. It's like... instead of taking 1 school course at a time, I'm trying to take 5 courses and then night school as well. Hopefully in time I will be able to fully understand how best to help others. I am trying to carefully balance my ego and my self determination for the best effect.
I would agree that only you can truly interpret your dreams. It is your subconscious speaking, after all. If I had to offer an interpretation, I would say perhaps it represents a fear of letting go…a fear of surrender that will result in abandonment and confusion. You might be feeling overwhelmed by the spiritual changes in your life right now and fear that it could impact your relationships with others. This enlightening of the mind could also be causing you to perceive flaws within your being, causing feelings of unworthiness and doubt. I think the one family member that stayed with you could represent your guidance, or perhaps your direct link to the Creator, but then again that is only my opinion. I have had people interpret my dreams and I disagreed with them totally.
Not to sound overdramatic, but I would wonder if it was possible if, in raising this energy, you perhaps unknowingly allowed a negative source an entry into your mind. I was reading in book III of Ra today that at times Carla wanted to channel Ra and (sometimes subconsciously) got in the mindset of channeling only to be greeted by a negative entity that attempted to trick her into leaving her body so it could sever the connection. Placing yourself in this mindset not only allows those of positive polarization the opportunity to be of service to you, but perhaps those of negative polarity as well. A beacon is seen by both sides. The fear and anxiety this dream produced could have been an attempt to distract you from your original goal. Of course, this is completely objective as well.
No matter the origin, I think you handled this catalyst quite well. You balanced all of your emotions and became more aware of yourself in the process, so regardless of the cause the end result was favorable. I would consider it an important growth experience.
(01-05-2010, 09:09 PM)ahktu Wrote: [ -> ]I would agree that only you can truly interpret your dreams. It is your subconscious speaking, after all.
Not to sound overdramatic, but I would wonder if it was possible if, in raising this energy, you perhaps unknowingly allowed a negative source an entry into your mind.
No matter the origin, I think you handled this catalyst quite well. You balanced all of your emotions and became more aware of yourself in the process, so regardless of the cause the end result was favorable. I would consider it an important growth experience.
Yes I agree that there are a billion different ways to interpret dreams, and it's best to get some ideas but ultimately think about its meanings by yourself.
I think there's constantly a back and forth with positive and negative sources. Though even the negative sources are only another aspect of yourself... just doing its job... =) And I am starting to find that, if you increase the level of unconditional love, great things can happen.
The catalysts in my life have sped up quite a bit in the recent years, and I really do hope that in 2012 we will see the transition that we're hoping for. I have asked myself whether I just want to use 2012 as an escape, but I think for me right now, it's more of an excitement to step up to the next level of grand adventures.
(12-31-2009, 03:35 PM)creationist Wrote: [ -> ]Thoughts or advice on this are very welcome!
I will concur with Peregrinus and ayadew on this.
Just take the experience as an experience and not as a negative or positive emotion. See what it reveals to you. Maybe your seperation anxiety or abandonment.
Sometimes just experiencing emotions in their full strength can be a very poweful transformative experience. Just let it flow through you with no resistance and see how it makes you feel. just experience it. It will move thru your body like a wave and move away. It will make you feel that you are not your emotions with great clarity.