Bring4th

Hmmm. When I was suicidal 10 years back, and also not spiritual at all, I never contemplated actually committing the act. I just started chanting death four or five times before I slept for maybe a year on end (I don't know why I chanted it before sleep, I never chanted, nor did one around me chant, but it just felt right?)...looking back, it was during this period that my body started to fall apart in terms of odd illnesses and allergies and random aches....good thing I found to love life again.

I think one thing that held me back was hurting those around me if I somehow died, especially my mother and father. I'm an only child, so they would have been devastated. I figured I'd just wait till they passed away naturally and so I put my suicide plans on a 20-30 year hold haha.

Being alive is fucking awesome though, so I think it was all part of the journey!

It is said we're lucky to be alive, and those on the other side might be jealous of us for our seniority of vibration. Indeed, we're one of select few to be alive at this time.

I guess I will need to ask again. Any idea of what happens when you end your life, spiritually talking? What are the implications of doing such a thing. Does it make you go with the damned or adds burden to your next life? Its this discussed in the Ra material? Personally I sense it would make my situation worse, but not sure, here I am not precisely in Happy Land lol

Not that I am actually considering it nowadays, but its something that obsessed me for years and I want to know.

Quote:However, a negatively oriented entity may choose a painful condition in order to improve the distortion toward the so-called negative emotive mentations such as anger, hatred, and frustration. Such an entity may use an entire incarnative experience honing a blunt edge of hatred or anger so that it may polarize more towards the negative or separated pole.

I hope this is not my case! Someone deleted my first post in this thread but suffice to say my life has been midlly but consistently unpleasant and I have been fascinated by the dark side and even enjoying negative emotions a long time. So if what Ra says its true it could fit in how my life have unfolded, but I refuse to accept it if thats the case.

Oh and BTW why did I get "censored"? I thought you guys were beyond polarities. If my message was full of negativity it deserved to be expressed just as much as one positive. Its just my personal experience after all.

The forum is experiencing a few glitches, and some posts will vanish, and like one of mine did, appear a week later.

(07-27-2013, 12:04 PM)BrownEye Wrote: [ -> ]The forum is experiencing a few glitches, and some posts will vanish, and like one of mine did, appear a week later.

Tonight on B4. When a Post Commits suicide, decides a week later its a bad idea, and reincarnates. And then decides that knowing reincarnations inner workings means you're still dead. So it decides to forget it all and appear somewhere else randomly in the form of a spam bot collection program that steals from all the posts and reposts them randomly for advertisement purposes to ensure that no even unquoted post completely vanishes. And then humanity panics and removes new AI feature. And all is well in the world.

Well, from my understanding of Karma, is that it works with forgiveness. If you end your Life, not in anger, but in acceptance that you can no longer continue to bear your pain and you are happy with the person you are, and forgive yourself for pre-maturely ending your cycle, I think your Karma, going into your next incarnation will be balanced, or cleared, for lack of a better word. I do not think this Life, and this Law of Oneness is such, that it punishes us for our free choices. Sure, our choices have consequences, but I do not think the consciousness of God enacts punishment on those who act in Love. Karma really isn't punishment, but more about restoring balance, and it has largely to do with how each individual entity views itself. According to Q'uo, if I recall correctly, Karma has to do with the forgiveness of self, not so?

I have realized that suicide is no real solution to ones challenges.

A challenge here is a challenge there...I have put myself through 'suicide' mentally..created a scenario in my head where I kill myself and perceive my actions from outside of the body; I experience immediate regret, realizing that nothing has changed...I am still me, just as conscious and aware with the same challenges I experienced while in the body, only now there is no going back. I feel a very, very heavy feeling of regret and remorse..wishing I wouldn't have gone through with it.. realizing that I will never be that unique human being ever again, realizing I gave up on myself and my loved ones.

I've had my share of dark moments...and as low as I have felt.. as much as I have wanted to end it all at times in the past..I just couldn't..because I know that it solves nothing.

to all.

this is a difficult planet; thick with the smog of confusion.

(07-27-2013, 05:57 AM)Truth Addict Wrote: [ -> ]I guess I will need to ask again. Any idea of what happens when you end your life, spiritually talking? What are the implications of doing such a thing. Does it make you go with the damned or adds burden to your next life? Its this discussed in the Ra material? Personally I sense it would make my situation worse, but not sure, here I am not precisely in Happy Land lol

Not that I am actually considering it nowadays, but its something that obsessed me for years and I want to know.

Quote:However, a negatively oriented entity may choose a painful condition in order to improve the distortion toward the so-called negative emotive mentations such as anger, hatred, and frustration. Such an entity may use an entire incarnative experience honing a blunt edge of hatred or anger so that it may polarize more towards the negative or separated pole.

I hope this is not my case! Someone deleted my first post in this thread but suffice to say my life has been midlly but consistently unpleasant and I have been fascinated by the dark side and even enjoying negative emotions a long time. So if what Ra says its true it could fit in how my life have unfolded, but I refuse to accept it if thats the case.

Oh and By the way why did I get "censored"? I thought you guys were beyond polarities. If my message was full of negativity it deserved to be expressed just as much as one positive. Its just my personal experience after all.

If this was the case, you still have free will within the incarnation, and may reorient your polarity in any direction you choose. Ra said that negative wanderers greatly fear the forgetting for that reason- that they will forget themselves and lose their negative polarity. Seeing how the preservation of the individual consciousness is a primary objective for the negative path, that would be a loss most great.

However, a great many very positive people seem to be born into the most heinous of circumstances as well, in order to teach themselves tolerance, unconditional love, self-sacrifice, self-responsibility and a number of other things. Each plan is specially fitted for the one who lives it, and having certain circumstances in your life is by no means a diagnosis.

Seth Speaks on suicide:

I believe this is one of the clearest distillations on the spiritual consequences of suicide that I have come across. It is not that the act of suicide itself is something special, rather the reasons that led to one taking that decision that life was intolerable and had to be ended by one's own hand.

it is also revealing that Seth says that many individuals effectively commit 'life suicide' by denying experience and interaction while still in the body. They are 'alive' yet not 'living life' as it was intended when the life was chosen before coming down.

Go on a strike against the evil overlords of your life rather than work yourself to death!

Bashar says every death is a suicide as we choose when we end our incarnation. Just as we agree to experience and co create together we agree when we shall die.

Removed for personal reasons

(07-25-2013, 05:37 PM)cosmickitten2012 Wrote: [ -> ]Is there a serious answer to this question? I tried several times in my life to end it. My daughter succeeded in it. The sick feeling of this is disabling and confusing, so really is there a serious answer? From one who knows the true horror of pain in suicide!

My brother, whom I was closest to in my family, took his own life at age 29. The pain, for me, was not that he did it. I see that as his choice and always honored it even though I was traumatized and racked with all kinds of feelings of my own. It's not for me to judge his decision. But I miss him more now than ever. I have seen him once when awake and many times in dreams. But that doesn't change the fact that I miss him being here.

I would guess that you are angry. It's understandable, but with respect and compassion, unexpressed and untransmuted anger may make you ill. And may I also suggest that the anger may be a mask for other feelings.

I was wondering if when you're dead you know that you're dead, or not.

I've thought of suicide even when perfectly happy with my life, feeling it's time to go.
I've attempted twice when I was not happy. But thought about it hundreds of times when perfectly happy,
just ready to transition. I didn't feel like I was ignoring lessons. But Bashar says you can leave your body
when you're good and ready. I might have been able to leave my body, but then my mom wouldn't get my life
insurance if it wasn't an accident.

The three or so times where I thought I was dead, I was so excited and ecstatic I could not contain
my excitement. I have really desired to be on the other side. Not because here is bad, but because
of the freedom you have on the other side.

In one experience I joined Ra in the sun, and was able to face my distortions. They were hot patches
within the sun, that I merged with many of them. This was an exciting time because I thought it was
Ra that had killed me because I asked. But after that experience I came back. I still appreciate life,
but I feel that I'm ready to go anytime. But I'll let my higher self decide when.

---

(09-27-2013, 07:51 AM)Aloysius Wrote: [ -> ]I think it's naive to think that once we become "spiritual" we will be free from pain, thoughts of such things will enter our mind, but like I said, we control our own limits and thresholds.
Edit; for clarity

Yeah, once I became spiritual, my life got harder. Lessons were intensified, and there were many times that felt like initiation. Particularly when I worked with Ra, and it felt like I was being challenged with 6th density lessons. Ra did save my life, and also showed me what it was like to die, to a certain point. I didn't see the tunnel of white light, nor did I feel overwhelming love. It was a very hot place, I believe to be in the sun where Ra is. I visited there in my mind, which was very real.

Isn't it strange though to ponder suicide even when things are going great?

I strive to not feel suicidal no matter what my mood. My philosophy is there is no sense in crying over spilt milk; when life is very challenging, there must be some reason for it and you or someone involved will have an opportunity to learn a profound lesson from the challenge.

(07-29-2013, 02:11 AM)Bring4th_Plenum Wrote: [ -> ] to all.

this is a difficult planet; thick with the smog of confusion.

Couldn't have said it better.

You know what needs to be realized my most of us? Unfortunately I feel like we have all had suicidal thoughts/ phases throughout our lifetime. It can be a "wonderer" thing. Now that we realize how powerful our thoughts are as we each came across the Law of One, we think differently.

We know why we are here.

Before Carla's contact with Ra, she had suicidal problems, now that she understands the Law of One I am assuming her perspective on life has changed dramatically.

Alienation, "wonderer blues" is sort of normal to us. Like I said, untill you realize you're a wonderer and study the Law of One along with meditation, the suicide thoughts decrease!

The thoughts of wanting to depart haven't diminished since finding the Law of One. They seem to have increased. But thoughts of suicide itself have decreased substantially. I no longer get that type of psychic greeting.

(07-08-2013, 10:10 PM)Bring4th_Plenum Wrote: [ -> ]2) if you truly want to die, then your Higher Self will make such possibilities happen for you; no need to take it into your own hands. This was the case with Carla as a teenager, dealing with extreme self-worth issues:

Quote:63.2 Questioner: Was the original problem with the kidneys some 25 years ago caused by psychic attack?

Ra: I am Ra. This is only partially correct. There were psychic attack components to the death of this body at that space/time. However, the guiding vibratory complex in this event was the will of the instrument. This instrument desired to leave this plane of existence as it did not feel it could be of service.

63.3 Questioner: You are saying that the instrument itself then created the kidney problem at that time?

Ra: I am Ra. The instrument’s desire to leave this density lowered the defenses of an already predisposed weak body complex, and an allergic reaction was so intensified as to cause the complications which distorted the body complex towards unviability.

The will of the instrument, when it found that there was indeed work to be done in service, was again the guiding factor or complex of vibratory patterns which kept the body complex from surrendering to dissolution of the ties which cause the vitality of life.

in both cases, you may see the will of the self (the lower self, or incarnational self) having the Determining Say in what goes on. Want to die? then ways will be found. Want to live? then ways will be found.

that is the true almighty power of Free Will of the incarnated self.

- -

So you see, Carla did die as per her wish, but she met the Holy Spirit in the Tunnel of Light (from what I remember of her story) and was given the chance to come back, and give things another shot.

and aren't we glad that she did?!!! No Carla, means no Ra group (Don, Carla, and Jim), and absolutely no Ra contact.

so who says that a life is unworthy to continue in operation?

- -

plenum

I don't believe that is always true that the higher self will make possibilities of dying happen for you. I've asked my higher self to please kill me, and prayed for death. The Higher Self wants to keep you healthy. It won't go out of its way to kill you. But I do believe we shouldn't take it into our own hands, as in suicide. That will get you nowhere fast.

Althought I don't know if dying by higher self is suicide, or if the higher self would do such a thing. If you just give up on life, and lose the will to live, I wonder if you'll still be harvestable, because I've lost the will on several occasions in the past.

(07-26-2013, 08:09 PM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]Hmmm. When I was suicidal 10 years back, and also not spiritual at all, I never contemplated actually committing the act. I just started chanting death four or five times before I slept for maybe a year on end (I don't know why I chanted it before sleep, I never chanted, nor did one around me chant, but it just felt right?)...looking back, it was during this period that my body started to fall apart in terms of odd illnesses and allergies and random aches....good thing I found to love life again.

I think one thing that held me back was hurting those around me if I somehow died, especially my mother and father. I'm an only child, so they would have been devastated. I figured I'd just wait till they passed away naturally and so I put my suicide plans on a 20-30 year hold haha.

Being alive is fucking awesome though, so I think it was all part of the journey!

I was suicidal 3 times in my life. Once I cut my wrist with a pair of scissors, but it only scratched me, and no blood. Another time I pondered it when I thought I was getting harvested negative, and wanted to avoid that unfortunate thing. I don't remember the 3rd time. But most of the time I'm not suicidal, but I do have suicidal ideation. It brings me comfort to think about it.

Being alive is awesome, even if there are things that I don't like or always agree with. Life is hard.

(06-27-2014, 11:38 AM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I don't believe that is always true. The Higher Self wants to keep you healthy. It won't go out of its way to kill you. But I do believe we shouldn't take it into our own hands.

It's highly discouraged unless suicide as an end point to an incarnation was a prior agreed theme to explore. Obviously there are alot of logistics which goes into planning an incarnation, including the highly sought after and intense catalyst that the Earth sphere provides, so it's somewhat of a 'waste' if not utilised. Those thoughts which come rushing in when you're just about ready to end it, but stop you? Yeah, those are your usually your Guides/HS. Even then, I hear it's possible to 'die' and come back on a parallel plane with the memory of dying removed.

Nothing 'wrong' with having those thoughts, though it tends to boil down to dissatisfaction stemming from frustration of factors one may believe is beyond control, and so it's catalytic for probing the self for what is causing those beliefs/imbalances and addressing them.

Regarding harvesting, it's important to note that this life bears only a small factor in ones polarisation, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Just need to get past the next couple of months and I'll be doing ok. Good to know that this life is a small factor in polarization.

(06-27-2014, 02:16 PM)Horuseus Wrote: [ -> ]Those thoughts which come rushing in when you're just about ready to end it, but stop you? Yeah, those are your usually your Guides/HS. Even then, I hear it's possible to 'die' and come back on a parallel plane with the memory of dying removed.

Oh, that would defeat the purpose of dying then, having to continue on in life regardless.
I never have thoughts rushing in when I'm ready to end it. I usually feel quite fond of my suicidal ideation. But I just wouldn't act on it. But I've researched the best ways to die. My stomach is hurting badly right now, so it makes me want to be over and done with life. When I get pains like this, I wish they would go away.

(07-08-2013, 10:10 PM)Bring4th_Plenum Wrote: [ -> ]if you truly want to die, then your Higher Self will make such possibilities happen for you; no need to take it into your own hands.  This was the case with Carla as a teenager, dealing with extreme self-worth issues

How would you define truly wanting to die?
I have been there but I am still here.

(06-27-2014, 02:19 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Just need to get past the next couple of months and I'll be doing ok. Good to know that this life is a small factor in polarization.

Well it's been more than a few months and I don't feel any better.

(04-02-2015, 04:52 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-27-2014, 02:19 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Just need to get past the next couple of months and I'll be doing ok. Good to know that this life is a small factor in polarization.

Well it's been more than a few months and I don't feel any better.

so what's up?

something seemed to change after you posted that thread about your mother stealing your stuff.  

did you lose hope that things would ever change for you?

I'm just tired of the duality.

(04-02-2015, 04:31 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]How would you define truly wanting to die?

depression is usually the start.