Bring4th

in my opinion, the fear of rejection is one of the most prominent and widespread of blockages. This 'fear' prevents us from even trying things; to attempt to talk to a stranger because they might tell us 'to go away', or to attempt to interact with someone you find attractive, to get to know them better.

what is at the heart of this? that if you're rejected, it says that 'you're not good enough?', that 'you're a total reject and loser?'.

it is worth examing the roots of such fears more closely. Once you find the 'core experience' which generated the original belief pattern, you can then -re-perspectivise things.

fear of rejection also comes up in:

* job interviews and job applications
* interacting in a dynamic social environment (party or gathering)
* making the first foray, instead of waiting to be asked (more passive).

if you were rejected yourself early on in life, that core experience can have a devastating effect on how you shape the attitudes towards the self. Only through re-visiting can these patterns be undone.

plenum

Notice how 'rejection' seems to be tied to an ejection?

(07-20-2013, 04:27 AM)Tanner Wrote: [ -> ]Notice how 'rejection' seems to be tied to an ejection?

yes.

We're interdependent and value is assessed based on perceived needs and desires. It's not really fear of rejection, it's being in the actual position of not being able to fulfill a need or desire without knowing why. Fear is always ego's confrontation with the unknown and a significant catalyst. Learning about the nature of self provides a natural means to fulfill needs and desires while simultaneously changing the nature of ego's interface with self and other self.

It's not really the fear of rejection with me. I just simply go blank as to what to actually talk about with a stranger. It's finding that common ground to start up the conversation that I have difficulty with. When I'm at work, I have absolutely no problems interacting with patients because there is that common area where they need help so I ask certain questions which eventually turns into a personal conversation about their lives or how to help with the pain. Many at work are completely surprised to hear how antisocial I am outside of work.

But just to simply walk up to a person or a woman more specifically and just strike up a conversation, is a complete mystery to me. Especially when it comes to the bar atmosphere where, to be honest, one of the only reasons to be at a bar at 1am is to hook up with someone, I find the game to be pointless and just have this overwhelming urge to just be honest with a chick. By honest I mean waking up to her, saying something as ridiculous as hey you look good, do I look good, ok then lets go LOL. Of course that would probably result in a slap in the face but as I'm typing this, it just came back full circle as it really is about fear of rejection lol. Funny how that works.

(07-20-2013, 11:07 AM)Jeremy Wrote: [ -> ]I just simply go blank as to what to actually talk about with a stranger. It's finding that common ground to start up the conversation that I have difficulty with.

Breaking wind always breaks the ice.

Advice that could only come from someone named BrownEye