02-04-2010, 11:20 PM
I decided to introduce myself, because I lurk somewhat randomly around here, and often just feel I don’t have much to add to all the wisdom already on the pages. I’ll try to keep it brief, but here it is, in case anyone is curious about who’s out there.
Don’t know if I’m a wanderer, but my heart says yes, the early batch. I feel old. Been here a long time and forgot all about everything when faced with the dark earth. My tendency is towards escape, but now I love this place intensely. All the scars just makes it the more precious.
I guess I’m older than most in the forum, mid-forties. My childhood, this life, was easy and uneventful. I was born in a country that hasn’t seen war for about 200 years. It does make a difference not to have any living memory of war in the social structure. My family is also very peaceful, and that also helped a lot. I still need a lot of silence.
Don’t really remember any unusual yearning for the stars, but I do remember I used to pretend I was making day trips to Pluto. That was back when Pluto was still a planet, mind you.
It felt kind of normal not to fit in, once I started meeting the ‘outside’ world, in school. It felt more as if I was normal, and the world was strange. I clearly remember the day when I realized that there would not be a single day in my life when no war was going on anywhere in this world. I was 8 at the time. Now I dearly hope that I was wrong. At age 12 I decided that I was an atheist. I don’t really think I was ever anything beyond agnostic, but religion just never made any sense to me, especially this Christian habit of putting man above everything else on earth. I loved life and nature, and man was making such a mess of it all.
I was 15 when I discovered evil, and I was lucky enough to get to discover it through books. I read Solzjenitsyn and Holocaust survivors. I was beginning to feel as if the darkness was about to swallow me whole, and walked with determination in the other direction, plunging into music studies. In music I met a world I could cope with, and people who taught me how to live here with more joy. I really had to shield myself from the outside world for years to allow the healing process to happen. One day I asked myself why I do something as useless as being a musician, instead of being out there trying to save the world, but then I saw the transformative power of music. I decided that if I would be able to touch just one person with music, my work wouldn’t have been wasted. I now know that I have, and that music was a pre-incarnational choice.
Telepathy always seemed natural to me, although it’s annoying how hard it is to do it around here. I used to get impatient with friends who didn’t know what I was thinking.
I have memories of many lives here. When I look at them I see that maybe I always believed in ‘touching just one person’. The soap box was never for me. I was the lover of warriors, time after other. I feel very blessed to know several of these men now, and to know them as very mature souls, who work hard to make this a better world to live in. I’ve had a bunch of pretty severe flashbacks to a life during the Holocaust, when “I” was a young girl. I feel strongly that this time for me is much about healing this great wound within the fabric of humankind. I also kind of needed these very powerful experiences in order to start breaking through the veil. If indeed I came from the stars to begin with, I had by that time gotten completely enmeshed in 3d.
Finding the Law of One material felt like a huge breath of fresh air, as if a window was finally being opened in a too small house, and it led to a spiritual breakthrough for me. I started really yearning for the otherworldly love I had no conscious memory of, and one night it poured over me undiminished. Knowing that love is knowing that anything is possible. The limits are just within me. The universe is there, giggling with joy.
Thank you for being here, and thank you for reading these lines. Checking in here now and then really helps me in validating that the changes I feel are not just within my imagination. These really are exciting times! I feel so blessed to get to live in such transformative times, and all I wish for is to be able to add a spark to the chorus of light.
Blessings and joy to all of you.
Don’t know if I’m a wanderer, but my heart says yes, the early batch. I feel old. Been here a long time and forgot all about everything when faced with the dark earth. My tendency is towards escape, but now I love this place intensely. All the scars just makes it the more precious.
I guess I’m older than most in the forum, mid-forties. My childhood, this life, was easy and uneventful. I was born in a country that hasn’t seen war for about 200 years. It does make a difference not to have any living memory of war in the social structure. My family is also very peaceful, and that also helped a lot. I still need a lot of silence.
Don’t really remember any unusual yearning for the stars, but I do remember I used to pretend I was making day trips to Pluto. That was back when Pluto was still a planet, mind you.
It felt kind of normal not to fit in, once I started meeting the ‘outside’ world, in school. It felt more as if I was normal, and the world was strange. I clearly remember the day when I realized that there would not be a single day in my life when no war was going on anywhere in this world. I was 8 at the time. Now I dearly hope that I was wrong. At age 12 I decided that I was an atheist. I don’t really think I was ever anything beyond agnostic, but religion just never made any sense to me, especially this Christian habit of putting man above everything else on earth. I loved life and nature, and man was making such a mess of it all.
I was 15 when I discovered evil, and I was lucky enough to get to discover it through books. I read Solzjenitsyn and Holocaust survivors. I was beginning to feel as if the darkness was about to swallow me whole, and walked with determination in the other direction, plunging into music studies. In music I met a world I could cope with, and people who taught me how to live here with more joy. I really had to shield myself from the outside world for years to allow the healing process to happen. One day I asked myself why I do something as useless as being a musician, instead of being out there trying to save the world, but then I saw the transformative power of music. I decided that if I would be able to touch just one person with music, my work wouldn’t have been wasted. I now know that I have, and that music was a pre-incarnational choice.
Telepathy always seemed natural to me, although it’s annoying how hard it is to do it around here. I used to get impatient with friends who didn’t know what I was thinking.
I have memories of many lives here. When I look at them I see that maybe I always believed in ‘touching just one person’. The soap box was never for me. I was the lover of warriors, time after other. I feel very blessed to know several of these men now, and to know them as very mature souls, who work hard to make this a better world to live in. I’ve had a bunch of pretty severe flashbacks to a life during the Holocaust, when “I” was a young girl. I feel strongly that this time for me is much about healing this great wound within the fabric of humankind. I also kind of needed these very powerful experiences in order to start breaking through the veil. If indeed I came from the stars to begin with, I had by that time gotten completely enmeshed in 3d.
Finding the Law of One material felt like a huge breath of fresh air, as if a window was finally being opened in a too small house, and it led to a spiritual breakthrough for me. I started really yearning for the otherworldly love I had no conscious memory of, and one night it poured over me undiminished. Knowing that love is knowing that anything is possible. The limits are just within me. The universe is there, giggling with joy.
Thank you for being here, and thank you for reading these lines. Checking in here now and then really helps me in validating that the changes I feel are not just within my imagination. These really are exciting times! I feel so blessed to get to live in such transformative times, and all I wish for is to be able to add a spark to the chorus of light.
Blessings and joy to all of you.
I see you almost have forty (39) posts so you have been adding some things to be sure. Keep it up 
Thank you for sharing your story and welcome! Look forward to seeing more of you here! 