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I have come to a milestone in my spiritual journey. I have pleaded for so much assistance for so much of my pain. I will not be believed but there is pain and hopelessness in me that could only have normally been built over 1000s of lives. I did it in 20 years. As I speak I feel great pain in me, an unwinding of coils so deep my mind begins to waver in its belief in its own paradigm.

Voices in my head tell me the pain I have had is so unique that it makes them cry in agony. I have loved through will alone. I have not submitted to anything in my life. I cannot explain my distortion without inaccuracy. All in all I have embraced nothingness in emotion but had faith that I would know myself. I have always loved others but I clinged to myself. I am told that all I have to do is submit to myself but I refuse and cannot even do that in my unconscious mind. I refuse to live under any negation, any limit that I have not convinced myself is my own. I mold myself inch by inch. I refuse to be molded. They accept my distortions but now I must accept myself. I will become something so different my family begins to question their involvement in this planet's progression.

This planet offers a density so unique one can question their identity completely. I have done that. My fully informed self and my family suffers from my lack of ability to bond but they accept me nonetheless. I will become a martyr for a new age of self-respect. I stood for sovereignty. I now stand for sovereignty in communion with others. I will learn this new lesson over many eons.

If you are in pain, ask for help. It may be beyond your understanding and tools. My pain is and will continue to be. Thanks for your support.
And I thought pain was in hallucinating scary things. My thoughts of going to furry hell almost drove me to suicide, but I had the thought that it wouldn't solve anything. I've often asked the Confederation for help, and they've come through with feelings of love.

Unbound

There is much irony in your post, but I agree it is good to ask for help.

Melissa

You speak of pain/suffering almost in a glorifying manner Adonai. Do you enjoy it? Or the consequences? (serious questions) As I see it and how I've come to 'know' you here, you're not clinging to anything other than your pain dude. If that's what you prefer it's fine but I find that rather difficult to imagine, especially after reading some of your light-hearted posts. Which came across as spontaneous and free. Perhaps even more authentic.

Fang

Quote: I will not be believed but there is pain and hopelessness in me that could only have normally been built over 1000s of lives. I did it in 20 years.
lol, please. Do you really think you are the only person who deals with suffering and that your "suffering" is of a caliber so high others would only experience it through the process of 1000s of lives? Dude, wake up. That's possibly one of the most self indulgent things I've ever heard in my entire life. It's rare that people at a pity party actually have problems but pretending you do always works as a nice little cop out. And nothing constructive comes out of a pity party.

Quote:Voices in my head tell me the pain I have had is so unique that it makes them cry in agony.
You didn't hear voices until sought them out right?

Quote:I refuse to be molded
There's that issue with authority again.

Quote:I will become a martyr for a new age of self-respect

Ra Wrote:]When the entity Jehoshua decided to return to the location called Jerusalem for the holy days of its people it turned from work mixing love and wisdom and embraced martyrdom which is the work of love without wisdom
Quote: May we note that martyrdom is not necessarily helpful.

Lol what is the point of that Adonai?

Yeah, ask for help but you won't get help unless you honestly lay out what's required rather than some mythical tale.
Hamlet had similar issues 'cept never asked for help

I am just a hologram with A.I. for an ego, must really suck to be human.Tongue

Melissa

Yeah, 'saying it ain't so', pointing out he didn't literally asked for help, posting suggestive videos and ego jokes really help someone who claimes to be in pain already. Bravo love and lighters lol

Fang

(04-02-2014, 02:39 AM)Melissa Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah, 'saying it ain't so', pointing out he didn't literally asked for help, posting suggestive videos and ego jokes really help someone who claimes to be in pain already. Bravo love and lighters lol

Melissa

Aww, that's too cute. Wink
(04-02-2014, 02:39 AM)Melissa Wrote: [ -> ]help someone who claimes to be in pain

Pain is the way we are told that we are going about it wrong. Physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, it all links to the particular chakras and those corresponding planes. Somewhere on some plane of existence there is the choice to believe in what is causing pain.

Melissa

(04-02-2014, 04:04 AM)BrownEye Wrote: [ -> ]
(04-02-2014, 02:39 AM)Melissa Wrote: [ -> ]help someone who claimes to be in pain

Pain is the way we are told that we are going about it wrong. Physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, it all links to the particular chakras and those corresponding planes. Somewhere on some plane of existence there is the choice to believe in what is causing pain.

Yes, I agree. And pain can be quite an intoxicating sensation. But if Adonai has a totally different perspective I'd be interested to hear more about it.
Could you explain why the hamlet video is offensive to you?

Melissa

It's not offensive to me. I do perceive it as an indirect way of hinting at something. Just as I perceive Adonai's post as asking for help without actually asking. Though I could be mistaken, if so, I apologize.

A1, if you feel reluctant to ask for help directly, that's ok. If you don't appreciate any help, that's fine too. Your post ignited my curiosity because I've often felt similar, though I'm quick to lose track of any metaphysical perspectives, and I think the experience of/working with pain is an interesting subject in general.

Also, I believe that a 'magician' in floral garments suits you way better than a martyr. Well, that's how I see you anyway.
After Adonai's fine post, this thread quickly devolved into low vibration STS pretty quickly. I can hardly read it.

Fang

Quote:After Adonai's fine post, this thread quickly devolved into low vibration STS pretty quickly. I can hardly read it.

lol

You could say "I find the posts here of an inappropriate and at times of a childish and immature nature" rather than jacking terms from the Ra material and clumsily (not to mention falsely) applying them to irrelevant ad-hoc scenarios and you would actually have a point to get across.
(04-02-2014, 08:29 AM)Fang Wrote: [ -> ]
Quote:After Adonai's fine post, this thread quickly devolved into low vibration STS pretty quickly. I can hardly read it.

lol

You could say "I find the posts here of an inappropriate and at times of a childish and immature nature" rather than jacking terms from the Ra material and clumsily (not to mention falsely) applying them to irrelevant ad-hoc scenarios and you would actually have a point to get across.

Thank you for that uplifting, high vibration post Fang Smile
Scotty thank you for participating in amplifying the vibration.

You define a problem, you become part of the problem now.

Melissa- seems we come to this vague point again... What indirect and hinting at what? If one is to be called out for something, it would be helpful to understand what's wrong and why...

Blaming, shaming, scapegoating merely perpetuates or amplifies conflicts and tensions and whatnot. So everyone here is also participating in this vibration we are creating together.
(04-02-2014, 09:53 AM)reeay Wrote: [ -> ]Scotty thank you for participating in amplifying the vibration.

You define a problem, you become part of the problem.

So in other words, if I find a problem I perceive within myself, I am unable to fix it because I would be perpetuating the problem by finding it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl...mW-ScmGRMA

Fang

Quote:Thank you for that uplifting, high vibration post Fang Smile
No worries, but really to think people would waste their time by coming here and being intentionally malicious (or as some folks might think, STS) is a bit off the mark. I say that because I'm one of the main people accused of doing such things or coming from a position that is rarely (maybe once or twice lolol) actually the case in reality.

Anyways,as Browneye alluded to pain is feedback, leave that unaddressed and you have continual pain, otherwise known as suffering.

My issue with the original post, as I was hoping to make clear in my first post, is that it is of a grandiose and somewhat self obsessed nature, constructing some sort of grand personal fable. Preoccupation with the self and only the self, which is the vibe I get from a lot of A1's posts (I understand he wishes to inform us of his personal progress but it went from being discoveries to personal status and attributes) is a tad unhealthy and something I would say stunts growth as a person. I've done it myself so i know what it looks like.

I agree with the conclusion though, that one should not be afraid to ask for assistance, it's just all the other stuff that befuddles me.

With that said, i offer the following questions to A1:
Why do you perceive pain to be an integral part of who you are? Why do you feel you will become a "martyr for a new age of self respect"?

Quote:So in other words, if I find a problem I perceive within myself, I am unable to fix it because I would be perpetuating the problem by finding it?
I don't know how you came to that conclusion...
It means that you are responsible for working with the problem
This quote gets thrown around a lot but it's an important one:

Quote:The entity which is given constant and unremitting approval by those surrounding it suffers from the loss of the mirroring effect of those which reflect truthfully rather than unquestioningly. This is not a suggestion to reinstate judgment but merely a suggestion for all those supporting instruments; that is, support, be harmonious, share in love, joy, and thanksgiving, but find love within truth, for each instrument benefits from this support more than from the total admiration which overcomes discrimination.

Fang and co. are offering their service with love. The love of truth. I know Fang likes Adonai, he wouldn't be sharing his perspective otherwise. It's a useful service to point out ideas that one might be clinging to which may not be serving one's best interests. It's not a matter of authority or anything like that, it's simply a desire to share what one has found on their own path.

Saying "You're right Adonai, you are in more pain than any of us could ever understand, there there" doesn't serve anyone. The truth is we have ALL felt pain, and to say that one person's pain is more intense or real than another's is dishonest and belittling to those who have also felt much pain in their lives. Sometimes the best way to serve someone is to tell them what they don't want to hear, and I'm glad there are people on this forum willing to do so. This doesn't arise from a lack of love/light, and to say it does is simply a personal interpretation of the catalyst presented and is your own responsibility.

Disagreeing with someone is not an 'STS' action and labeling something that you find hard to accept as 'STS' is both silly and divisive. Can we please move past this black and white, dualistic view of reality?

To address the original post, I agree that you should never be afraid to ask for help, just realize the help won't always come in the form you expect. You've just gotta spin the Wheel of Fortune and see where it lands Smile.

My advice regarding the pain/martyr thing: just remember that your pain doesn't have to define you, you always have a Choice.

Melissa

(04-02-2014, 09:53 AM)reeay Wrote: [ -> ]Scotty thank you for participating in amplifying the vibration.

You define a problem, you become part of the problem now.

Melissa- seems we come to this vague point again... What indirect and hinting at what? If one is to be called out for something, it would be helpful to understand what's wrong and why...

Blaming, shaming, scapegoating merely perpetuates or amplifies conflicts and tensions and whatnot. So everyone here is also participating in this vibration we are creating together.


Example: This first sentence adressed to Scott is also what I would consider indirect and inappropriate. You're not saying what you actually mean but reply with a rather sarcastic response instead. If you weren't hinting at anything with the hamlet video and how it correlates to this thread then I rest my case lol.

If you percieve any of my posts as blaming, shaming or scapegoating then we're clearly on a different wavelength or something. Which isn't 'wrong', just different. And I can't relate to any perceived conflicts or tension either, it's just a different perspective. We could also have a different sense of humor. Smile
And hamlet?

Do you know what perception is and how perception works?
Well at least if there is an attempt to become conscious, there will be some progress eventually. Meanwhile we all must suffer for it. The consequences for self and society are simply greater when that suffering is consciously sought and maintained, because it will be at the expense of all.

Melissa

(04-02-2014, 12:59 PM)zenmaster Wrote: [ -> ]Well at least if there is an attempt to become conscious, there will be some progress eventually. Meanwhile we all must suffer for it. The consequences for self and society are simply greater when that suffering is consciously sought and maintained, because it will be at the expense of all.

Zen, who are you talking to? And what do you consider an attempt to become conscious? Could you explain what you're saying in a different way?
Some random inspiration…

"Pain is good, it tells you; you are still alive"

"Don’t confuse the pain you *Think* you have with the actual pain"

"Things does not become better from thinking they are bad"

"There are no negative situations, only negative reactions"

"Pain is not pain, it´s just called pain"

"The physical body is never suffering, it is as it is. Suffering is an idea, an interpretation, a mind virus born out of lack of perspective and awareness, this too is part of the experience"

"Limitation is part of being limitless; it would be a limitless limit not to be able to limit oneself"
all is *always* complete, & whole, & perfect?

pain is fleeting...possibly frequent...but rarely (if ever) constant.

i think what a1 means is that the milestone in his journey is that he *was* afraid to ask for help but then he "pleaded for so much assistance" for so much of his pain & then received it by getting to, more frequently, remember the pain is currently necessary, & beneficial, & permanent (so there's actually no need to ask for help - but even so u shouldn't be afraid to do it anyway...)

so now rather than asking for help w/ his pain, & wanting it to go away as if it has no purpose, he's just accepting it...& in a way glorifying it. i could be wrong

Hamlet
"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd."

Man of La Mancha
"It is the mission of each true knight...
His duty... nay, his privilege!
To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go;
To right the unrightable wrong.

To love, pure and chaste, from afar,
To try, when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star!

This is my Quest to follow that star,
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far,
To fight for the right
Without question or pause,
To be willing to march into hell
For a heavenly cause!

And I know, if I'll only be true
To this glorious Quest,
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest.

And the world will be better for this,
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach the unreachable stars!"
It's become abundantly clear to me that this message board is not a part of the world I wish to create, so, I am outta here. Take care all..
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