Bring4th

Hello everyone,

I just came home from my nightshift and decided to share something with you. If you have any pop corn at home, go and get it please, as this will probably get long!

Here it comes.

About a year ago I met a wonderful, amazing woman who quickly became my best friend. She has been teaching me in real life how to accept myself and everyone, how to love, and how to love *life* (plenum, for me this is the answer to your question which you asked in this thread!).

It's been an amazing and transforming year for me to say at least!

Of course, nothing good which doesn't bring something bad with it. During this year, my dizziness has increased to a daily basis, and have become worse and worse. Besides these attacks, there has also been something else which I haven't talked about yet. Panic anxiety attacks.

These attacks have been on a manageable level this far, but they have still slowly been limiting my freedom, and limiting more and more of my everyday activities. Eventually I couldn't plan things like when I could go to bigger places where there are a lot of people, like supermarkets and malls, as I had to see first how I was feeling in regards to these attacks.

About two weeks ago they have become full-blown attacks and they've become unmanageable for me. I couldn't and can't deal with this at all anymore unfortunately. So I had no other choice than to go to a doctor and ask for meds so that I could function. My doctor prescribed me those meds (light tranquilizers), and transferred me to a therapist where I will, hopefully soon, begin what is called cognitive behavior therapy. This is going to be interesting! I've never done that before.

Well, anyway, I have discussed this with a good friend of mine, who also said that these might probably be psychic greetings.

This morning, almost at the end of my shift, out of the blue, I suddenly felt pressure in my solar plexus area, pain in my stomach, nausea, dizziness, weakness, etc. And as I was sitting there, trying to endure all this, I suddenly got a memory of more. This is exactly what I experienced ten years ago, when I had these attacks, which lasted for 4 years! And now they are back!

In the middle of this incredible discomfort, a patient called for me. In that moment I could barely walk, and even less serve another entity. But I also got a memory from how I "handled" these attacks ten years ago, and that is by becoming so self absorbed by this incredibly intensive discomfort that I would just go home no matter what, I had to be left alone, by myself, as I couldn't take anything than just dealing with these attacks. I couldn't stand, nor walk, and less be with other people when this was happening. I remember that one time I even went to my boss who I had at that time and told her that I was sick and had to go home. Indeed, I was so pale and shaken at that time I guess, that she instantly agreed commenting on how pale I looked.

The above memory came pretty quickly into my mind, while I was sitting there and looking at that alarm coming from my patient's room. I got up and started to walk there. How shall I deal with this now? I gave her service, which was actually pretty warm, coming from my heart. And while she was in the bathroom, I sat down in a chair, closed my eyes, and sincerely thanked the Creator for everything. But when I was done with her in that room, and was walking out, the dizziness got even worse, and so are all other symptoms.

If these are the psychic greetings, which I think that they are, we know that their purpose is to depolarize the positive entity. And they have succeeded very well in the past. When I am "ok" than I am polarized, but *during* these attacks I have sure been depolarized. And I remembered all this this morning. So depolarization is not the answer, as these attacks will just continue and you'll still feel like s***. We also know that keep pushing towards positive polarization, having faith in that all is well no matter what, won't stop these attacks either. Maybe even enhance them. So what to do?

I don't know, my friends. Ra gave a lot of good advices, so I won't keep repeating them here. But if someone is interested, here is one post that I made once, where I quoted Ra about how to deal with these attacks.

My purpose with this thread is to write down my experiences, how I reacted to them, what I thought and what I did, in order to perhaps get a better understanding of this, and above all, to learn how to deal with these attacks, what is helpful and what is not. Because during these attacks, there is like a thick fog around you, and shortly after the attack is gone, you forget what happened, and when. You just know that there was an extremely difficult attack. I've read especially one blog of a woman who has been dealing with these attacks for 20 years. Her energy reminds me of Carla's actually. She too just opens herself up in this complete love, and without hesitation, despite that these things are perhaps not so common to talk openly about. And she mentions this forgetfulness quite often. One forget *exactly what* happened, or when etc... But I don't know how much I will be writing in this thread. On the other hand, it might be helpful to others who are struggling with this. And of course, anyone who feels that they want to share something, are welcome to write here.

Anyway, what happened this morning is that after I was done with reporting of how the night went to my collegues, it was time for me to go home. And I thought "s***! How am I supposed to go home *now*? I can barely stand and even less walk and travel home!" I took an extra tranquilizer just an hour before that, but didn't feel much of an effect from it.

There are two specific places on my way home which I find extra difficult. The first one is a long passageway in the subway before I come to trains. And the other one is that big subway station where I arrive in order to switch to busses which take me home.

So during this walk in that passageway today there were many thoughts of panicking nature. Then there were no thoughts. They came in waves. I tried to ignore the negative waves. Well, I did come to the end of this passageway, and took then escalator down to the trains. My head was constantly spinning and the floor was rocking under my feet (you have no idea how hard it is to walk under these circumstances!). And I still was trying to fight those negative thoughts. To ignore them.

When I finally got to the platform, I panicked. I don't know why exactly, but I thought that I would never make it to the nearest wall towards which I could lean before the train comes. It was *not* far to this wall, but it felt like a mile or something. I thought the usual: "this is it! now is when it's going to happen! I am going to fall now! I am going to faint!" But I made it to that wall.

While I was standing there, leaned towards that wall, I looked back to that place which I just walked through, and it wasn't frightening anymore. I almost laughed at it! Ah! Laughing is good I suddenly noticed. So I put "happy" music on my phone and was laughing and having fun in my thoughts. It was helpful! And so was looking back at that place which by no reason just scared the s*** out of me.

Also, what I noticed was helpful is when there is a more calm atmosphere, like when just sitting on the train, it is helpful to look at people's faces and their eyes, seeking love and kindness in them. It smoothes the whole self, and takes the edge off these attacks.

Now to the positive and light side of this. Most of the people who have these attacks have depressions. I don't. On contrary, as mentioned earlier, during this year there has been growing joy inside of me and an extreme *love for life*. If I look back, I've been a person who had an intensive homesickness. I was the one who "didn't want to be here but to go home". This has changed completely! Nowdays, I am not only enjoying being here, but wouldn't leave this place even if this whole planet was on fire! It's like I don't even recognize myself anymore. I turned from a person who had constant thoughts of death and suicide and sorrow into a person who is full of joy, loves the life so completely, and who treasures each precious moment I am fortunate enough to experience here. This life is a gift beyond what any words of gratitude can explain. And yesterday this realization had its peak! So maybe it is completely in its order that this peak is now being balanced with this attack I experienced this morning, despite taking my meds. But I am looking very positive on this catalyst, or attacks. I do believe that it's going to end well, and that this is just a matter of time. I have complete faith that they are going to vanish eventually. But for now, I do need to find a way of how to deal with them, and how to heal from them, hence this thread.

I would like to ask now one specific question about tonight: I am going out on a date tonight, and it's in the middle of the city. These attacks are always getting intensified when I am in big areas with a lot of people. The thing is that if I take my meds before going out, I can't drink too much alcohol, as these meds don't go well with alcohol. What is "too much" is different each time, but sometimes just one glass is enough! But I sooo want to enjoy some wine on my date tonight dammit! On the other hand, if I only drink alcohol, it might not help these attacks if I drink "moderately". Sometimes only large amounts of alcohol help to take away these attacks. So I don't know what to do. Any advices or thoughts about tonight, please? What would you do?

And a more general question: what do you guys think about taking meds in situations like that?

Well, this is it for now, my friends. Sorry for the length of this post.

I started developing panic attacks about 1-1.5 years ago. I was sure the first one was a heart attack until I went to the hospital the next day to get myself checked out.

The majority of them involved partaking in a small to moderate amount of marijuana (and holding my breath for too long). I seemed to get a handle on them after awhile through sheer force of will. They stopped for 4+ months and I all but forgot about them.

Then, after I got my new job, I had one where there was no MJ active in my system. I realized they occurred when 5 or more people focused their attention on me. I could be in a large group, but I would only feel one coming on when attention was focused on me or a sense of anticipation.

I had one in training when I was waiting in line to do some stupid pointless team building game. I was 3rd or 4th in line... And I was fighting it off with all my effort.

A couple of months later, I quit the MJ altogether for (mostly) unrelated reasons. Yet a few times since, I have found myself fighting it off again.

Just yesterday I stayed home from work because I felt dizzy and 'off'. My solar plexus felt extremely uncomfortable most of the day. It reached a crescendo and I stopped what I was doing to meditate. I was alone in my house with no mind altering substance in my system, but I still nearly had one.

I'm not entirely sure why I am having them. I also was extremely depressed and anxious about 2 years ago and made enormous leaps and bounds towards being happy. I feel blessed to be having this incarnation.

I have thought about quite a bit and came to a few (subjective) conclusions. I wanted to blame a negative entity for a greeting, but quickly realized it would do me absolutely no good to think like that. If it really is/was an entity that was doing it, there is nothing I could do to stop them. I also realized that it made no difference if it was an outside entity or some part of myself causing them since the solution would be the same for both situations. The only way a negative entity could greet me is by exploiting a preexisting vulnerability. So all I have to do is find the root of the problem and fix it, and there will be no vulnerability to exploit.

I have decided the most reasonable explanation is a panic has developed in the 2nd density vehicle that is so graciously seating my consciousness. I think it is caused by some combination of forgetting to breath in situations I feel anxious in general, crowds focusing on me, and anticipation of groups focusing on me. Plus, certain mind altering substances only compound the problem when I start feeling panic well up inside me.

My solution is to always be conscious of keeping my breathing even and try to enter a semi-medative mental state. I also found that if I start feeling anxious in my solar plexus which can precipitate an attack, it helps to internally(non-verbally) comfort my vehicle in a soothing, loving tone as though I were talking to a frightened child or animal. If I am completely alone and feeling that, I will rub my belly and talk to my vehicle out loud (wee bit embarrassing, but effective if done sincerely ).

Sounds like a good time to start meditating, bottom-up. I've made some posts about it, but if any of it is unclear I'd be glad to fill you in. I'd absolutely recommend getting a black tourmaline/black quartz, tiger's eye, red garnet and pyrite.

The black crystal will probably aid you the most considering it's calming effect on the body and the mind. But the others have equally awesome effects and compliment each other. If you want I can send some to you, around 50g each for free

I just could never even consider going out anywhere during one of my headache phases.
I found meditation in the bath tub very helpful. I was able to work well with the bodies energy field.

I take drugs or medicine as I feel is required.
I will always read up as much as possible on the web regarding stuff like this.
I found the best help in an online forum for sufferers of cluster headaches.
There I was pointed toward a valuable breathing excercise that has since helped a great deal.

All the best to you.

Parsons, good luck to you too! I hope you will be better soon. My experience is that once these attacks start, it's not that easy to get rid of them by yourself. I tried to deal with them by myself for 4 years last time I had those ten years ago, but nothing helped. What eventually helped is that I got pregnant.

Aureus, thank you so much! But I do meditate, and have been doing it almost on a daily basis since about 4 years ago. And one would think that since I do meditate, try to become conscious and aware, balance myself and work with myself, that these attacks wouldn't happen or at least get worse, but here they are!

Ashim, thank you so much, and all the best to you too! I don't like bathing in a tub so much, but I am going to take a shower soon, as I still feel affected by the attack that happened this morning. I hope it helps!

This may or may not apply to your situation, but in my experience emotional memories that are seemingly forgotten or that do not bother one consciously can emerge in random bouts of extreme emotional expression, without the actual memory coming to surface. This my personal experience. It can be helpful to relive all past memories deeply to find if any bring emotional discomfort, and then balance tht experience. This would occur despite an overall loving belief (I love and accept myself) because the buried memories would act as hidden resolvers of an old unloving belief (I only worthy of love if I do such and such).

In any case, gl. Such a tough situation. My thoughts are with you.

I've heard of EFT being used for anxiety.

This may help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxk7cVPEOXw

xise, thank you so much, my brother! You're right in that these attacks happen partially due to repressed memories. I recognized that one part of them have to do with my fear of people. This is a left-over from my PTSD. I learned from young age that people can be unpredictable and physically abuse you for no seeming reason at all. I also learned that if I look in the eyes of others, they can hit you for that. So I learned to not look into the eyes of others and to fear them. We went through this when I was treated for my PTSD, but not enough as focus was on other, bigger issues. But now it's coming up to the surface, and getting these proportions. Hopefully I can work with this in this new soon to be therapy. Much love, brother. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

(05-20-2014, 04:13 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]I would like to ask now one specific question about tonight: I am going out on a date tonight, and it's in the middle of the city. These attacks are always getting intensified when I am in big areas with a lot of people. The thing is that if I take my meds before going out, I can't drink too much alcohol, as these meds don't go well with alcohol. What is "too much" is different each time, but sometimes just one glass is enough! But I sooo want to enjoy some wine on my date tonight dammit! On the other hand, if I only drink alcohol, it might not help these attacks if I drink "moderately". Sometimes only large amounts of alcohol help to take away these attacks. So I don't know what to do. Any advices or thoughts about tonight, please? What would you do?

And a more general question: what do you guys think about taking meds in situations like that?

Well, this is it for now, my friends. Sorry for the length of this post.

are you absolutely certain you're keeping yourself hydrated & that your diet is sufficient? when u discovered u were pregnant did your eating habits change much? do u take multivitamins?

i haven't taken any meds, not even a pain-killer, in about 5ish years now...idk why i shun them like they're the devil...but if i were u i'd skip the meds today & get sh!tfaced-drunk. that's very brave of u to be going out on a date knowing there's a great chance u'll get an attack. i hope u'll update us on what u decide to do & what happens

Lol, isis! Thanks!

Unfortunately I felt like s*** this morning, so I had to take the meds. I just took the normal dosage though, no extras. Now I'm at my local bar taking a beer. I will be meeting him in about 1,5 hours. I hope I'll be fine till then.

People in this thread have offered good advice in various psychological and spiritual ways in this thread, but occasionally medicine can be an invaluable aid in seeing the world from a different perspective long enough in order to establish a new viewpoint that alleviates anxiety. It's useful for negating the reinforcement of anxiety "triggers".

I've dealt with anxiety and panic attacks at various points in my life, and I wasn't always able to completely escape them using solely the power of my mind.

If you are looking for chemical/herbal aids for occasional anxiety help, the best and safest substances I've found are (nonprescription -- at least in America):

L-Theanine, 5-htp (from griffonia seeds), Ashwagandha, Bacopa, Passionflower, Valerian Root, Kava, Kratom, and phenibut.

Kava, kratom, and phenibut are the most powerful. Phenibut is an artificial substance that mimics GABA in your brain, an inhibitory neurotransmitter.

They are very safe, for the most part, however you still want to be careful with dosing. Also, those three last ones are all *horrible* tasting, with the exception of phenibut if you buy the free amino acid version of it, rather than the HCL crystal version of it (which looks like salt, and is very bitter). You could potentially buy them in capsules, but they don't work nearly as well in my opinion. So a scale is often necessary, if measuring out doses of raw material yourself.

I've found these to be extremely helpful for helping with anxiety, if you can figure out how to ingest them in a palatable way.

Thank you so much, anagogy!! I'll definitely check out those substances!

---

I had two beers at my local bar. Soon I will be taking the bus downtown, to a big-ass train and bus station, and then heading to a big-ass place nearby where we decided to meet.

I'm better now, but thought that my speech was too slow when I talked to the waitress. This is probably because of the meds combined with the alcohol. I should have just went with the alcohol tonight, but since I didn't have any at home when I woke up feeling like s***, I felt that I had to take those meds instead.

Either way, wish me luck now!

I had severe panic attacks. Only one really, really big one that lasted hours, and was kind of like being recalled into a half coma. And one or two others.

Looking back on it now. It was just to stop me doing the things I was doing that were really not helping me. That were against my 'true path' so to speak.

It's your choice on the alcohol. I think that stuff is poison. It has long term effects as well as short term.

I'm not one to give advice but if the pain of your attacks started in your solar plexus area this could resemble immense bloackages associated with relationships/jobs/society. I say this because I too have an extremely blocked 3rd chakra.

Psychics greetings occur and are worked upon by negative entities using your distortions. So accepting your distortions and understanding/forgiving your distortions to death" is essential.

If it makes you feel any better I like to think to myself "I chose to be here". It brings me warmth and comfort knowing I chose to he here right now prior incarnation.

So anyways, have fun on your date and remember you are infinite love light!

Careful mixing tranquilizer with alcohol. Had some friends who liked to party by mixing those. Many a friend would pass out after 1 pill + 3 beers or have super slurred speech and not remember much.

Probably not a good idea for a first date to mix and drink more than a few drinks. Although it depends on the type of first date I suppose. The girls I've been on first dates with who got hammered usually wanted only one thing.

Either way, have fun and be safe.

I had my first panic attack on the 21st of December 2013. I was eating some pizza and was fairly hungover from the night before from smoking/drinking. I felt a massive jolt of painful energy in my solar plexus and tons of anxiety plus i forgot who i was and where i was for some few moments. This last for about 4 hours and left me fairly shaken for the following week out of fear of the the attack returning. During the new year i felt really drained from drinking which has never happened before, i passed out the floor for a while and had to use all of my willpower to walk else i would simply pass out. (I didn't even have a hangover during this)

I went to see the Doctor and explained what had happened, we talked about it and he did the usual tests. I agreed to stop taking drugs and drinking alcohol (6 month sober now as of June 03) I never got any medicine nor would i have wanted any.

Being lucky enough to get into meditation i had mediated every day since the start of 2013, so i was able to practice mindful breathing and listened to the mantras over and over again for hours. This helped lessen the impact of the experience.

A few years before this i had i guess what i would call a more intensive psychic attack, meeting with 4 different entities in the astral state. The nature of the contact was such that i couldn't tell real events from the lucid astral experience. It took a lot of completion to work that out. I am not sure if it was the shadow self or entities, whatever it was i was in awe and terror. I posted this experience on my old account.

Dear Ankh,

First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to share your experience. While several of us disagree on the forums about a variety of issues, it's always nice to read about how others handle life. It's inspiring in many ways.

I have personally experienced in the past anxiety attacks of a short duration. They were triggered by an objectively small yet traumatizing life event at age 11 and the emotion which I felt at that moment kept on repeating itself in similar settings until a couple of years ago. The anxiety attack would last only 1 to 2 minutes; as soon as I would feel it, I would ask myself why I feel this way, and look around me, confirming there would be no reason to panic, and so it dissipated. About two years ago, when I became more aware of lucid dreaming and meditation exercises, I proceeded to dive deeper into myself and little by little facing my fear and healing it over the span of several months. It makes over a year since I have felt this anxiety and I believe it is gone for good. If it comes back, I will know how to deal with it by accepting this part of myself that still needs healing

Your panic attacks are on a grander scale than my own, yet I see a lot of myself in you, Ankh. Like you, I am a person who is easily stressed out and who, if I am not careful, will tire myself over tasks in a determined fashion. I noticed this tendency at a young age thanks to a great friend of mine and proceeded to gravitate towards a calmer way of life. When I would feel sick, stressed or desperate, he would gently tell me "Tina, why don't you go/stay home today?", to which I would reply, a well-trained robot I was "No, I MUST work!", and he would always finish with a conclusive statement along these lines: "Tina, there are many opportunities for work in the world, but you only have one body. Your health is paramount. Do not wait until you are sicker and weaker to take a break". I could never debate that. Indeed, I have come to agree that our health in paramount, especially so if one desires to help others in the present and in the future; do we provide better service when we are sickly or healthy? The answer is an easy one and it is ever clear to me. It is usually when we feel our best that we can also give our best.

I am no doctor Ankh but it seems to me that the crux of your issues stem from emotional issues which have yet to be resolved. I am open to entities of the negative polarities playing out our distortions and enlarging them as it has happened to me in the past, however the source is, in my experience, within and pre-existing. The fact that drinking alcohol helps relieve the strain you feel is another clue which points to the argument that this would not be a psychic greeting but rather an inner trouble which, when externalized, expresses itself as great anxiety and panic. In my experience, alcohol and psychic greetings create other types of problems In the same line of thought, you also speak of panic attacks being triggered in settings where there are a lot of people present, reminiscent of the PTSD you were previously treated for. You are very aware and so there is little advice I can give you except perhaps suggesting to look within and seeing what is left of this, uncovering slowly the part of you that still suffers and asking her how she could be aided in her recovery I find that writing, meditating and lucid dreaming (or contemplation) has helped me a lot with my own problems.

Finally, before I finish this long reply, I would like to address one last thing. You seem to be very demanding of yourself, expecting yourself to work no matter the cost, even in times where your whole body and mind are screaming for rest. Allow me to ask you, helper, what would you tell a patient of yours if they came to you and asked for advice in regards to a similar situation? If they told you they were in pain, facing anxiety attacks such as your own, would you tell them to take medication and go on, that duty towards "positive polarity" is more important than taking care of their health, or would you tell them to take the time they require to heal and to have more compassion towards themselves?

I know what I would tell another, as I just did, and it would be a consistent advice I would give myself. What about you, dear?

(05-20-2014, 04:00 PM)vervex Wrote: [ -> ]Dear Ankh,

First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to share your experience. While several of us disagree on the forums about a variety of issues, it's always nice to read about how others handle life. It's inspiring in many ways.

I have personally experienced in the past anxiety attacks of a short duration. They were triggered by an objectively small yet traumatizing life event at age 11 and the emotion which I felt at that moment kept on repeating itself in similar settings until a couple of years ago. The anxiety attack would last only 1 to 2 minutes; as soon as I would feel it, I would ask myself why I feel this way, and look around me, confirming there would be no reason to panic, and so it dissipated. About two years ago, when I became more aware of lucid dreaming and meditation exercises, I proceeded to dive deeper into myself and little by little facing my fear and healing it over the span of several months. It makes over a year since I have felt this anxiety and I believe it is gone for good. If it comes back, I will know how to deal with it by accepting this part of myself that still needs healing

Your panic attacks are on a grander scale than my own, yet I see a lot of myself in you, Ankh. Like you, I am a person who is easily stressed out and who, if I am not careful, will tire myself over tasks in a determined fashion. I noticed this tendency at a young age thanks to a great friend of mine and proceeded to gravitate towards a calmer way of life. When I would feel sick, stressed or desperate, he would gently tell me "Tina, why don't you go/stay home today?", to which I would reply, a well-trained robot I was "No, I MUST work!", and he would always finish with a conclusive statement along these lines: "Tina, there are many opportunities for work in the world, but you only have one body. Your health is paramount. Do not wait until you are sicker and weaker to take a break". I could never debate that. Indeed, I have come to agree that our health in paramount, especially so if one desires to help others in the present and in the future; do we provide better service when we are sickly or healthy? The answer is an easy one and it is ever clear to me. It is usually when we feel our best that we can also give our best.

I am no doctor Ankh but it seems to me that the crux of your issues stem from emotional issues which have yet to be resolved. I am open to entities of the negative polarities playing out our distortions and enlarging them as it has happened to me in the past, however the source is, in my experience, within and pre-existing. The fact that drinking alcohol helps relieve the strain you feel is another clue which points to the argument that this would not be a psychic greeting but rather an inner trouble which, when externalized, expresses itself as great anxiety and panic. In my experience, alcohol and psychic greetings create other types of problems In the same line of thought, you also speak of panic attacks being triggered in settings where there are a lot of people present, reminiscent of the PTSD you were previously treated for. You are very aware and so there is little advice I can give you except perhaps suggesting to look within and seeing what is left of this, uncovering slowly the part of you that still suffers and asking her how she could be aided in her recovery I find that writing, meditating and lucid dreaming (or contemplation) has helped me a lot with my own problems.

Finally, before I finish this long reply, I would like to address one last thing. You seem to be very demanding of yourself, expecting yourself to work no matter the cost, even in times where your whole body and mind are screaming for rest. Allow me to ask you, helper, what would you tell a patient of yours if they came to you and asked for advice in regards to a similar situation? If they told you they were in pain, facing anxiety attacks such as your own, would you tell them to take medication and go on, that duty towards "positive polarity" is more important than taking care of their health, or would you tell them to take the time they require to heal and to have more compassion towards themselves?

I know what I would tell another, as I just did, and it would be a consistent advice I would give myself. What about you, dear?

Tina, first of all thank you for your compassionate and thoughtful reply!

Secondly, not that it got me upset, but you do make assumptions in your post, of which, in my thinking you know nothing about. For instance if who I am and how I work. I don't know you either, but from that little you have posted, especially lately, I could have made assumptions about you too. And I do have some, although nothing I would want to express publically on this forum. Do you see where I am coming from?

Either way, thank you, my dear sister for your thoughts and your concern. I am not currently in the resonance with you and especially your hubby.

May our paths cross once again when we are in resonance and harmony with each other, which I'm sure will happen.

Om the personal note: I've been where you are, went through what you've been through, and even had a mate who soooo much reminds me of yours. This is like seeing the whole thing, minus some details, from the side. But each is creating it's own path, it's own experience, and it's own love/light. Good luck to you and know that you will always have a faithful friend/sister in me.

---

(05-20-2014, 01:53 PM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]Careful mixing tranquilizer with alcohol. Had some friends who liked to party by mixing those. Many a friend would pass out after 1 pill + 3 beers or have super slurred speech and not remember much.

Probably not a good idea for a first date to mix and drink more than a few drinks. Although it depends on the type of first date I suppose. The girls I've been on first dates with who got hammered usually wanted only one thing.

Either way, have fun and be safe.

Thanks sweety! What you wrote is what I've been worrying about too. But it went very well and I'm soon to be home with no side-effects as far as I can see for now.

*phew* I made it!!

(05-20-2014, 04:28 PM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]Tina, first of all thank you for your compassionate and thoughtful reply!

Secondly, not that it got me upset, but you do make assumptions in your post, of which, in my thinking you know nothing about. For instance if who I am and how I work. I don't know you either, but from that little you have posted, especially lately, I could have made assumptions about you too. And I do have some, although nothing I would want to express publically on this forum. Do you see where I am coming from?

Either way, thank you, my dear sister for your thoughts and your concern. I am not currently in the resonance with you and especially your hubby.

May our paths cross once again when we are in resonance and harmony with each other, which I'm sure will happen.

Om the personal note: I've been where you are, went through what you've been through, and even had a mate who soooo much reminds me of yours. This is like seeing the whole thing, minus some details, from the side. But each is creating it's own path, it's own experience, and it's own love/light. Good luck to you and know that you will always have a faithful friend/sister in me.

No problem, and I perfectly understand if you do not resonate with the advice at this time. One way to solve a problem might work for one but not another, and vice versa. Life wouldn't be nearly as much fun if there weren't so many ways to experience it

I am sorry if my assumptions have offended you. Most of all, I pictured you as a hard working person and, from what I have read, someone who will sacrifice themselves for another in some instances. I have come to these conclusions from reading many of your posts and I apologize if this interpretation doesn't do you justice. I'm really looking forward to encounter another facet of you if this facet I thought I perceived wasn't correct

Please take care of yourself; there's only one Ankh like you in the world right now and we'd like to enjoy your presence a bit longer

(05-20-2014, 04:51 PM)Tanner Wrote: [ -> ]http://www.anxietyslayer.com/journal/3-a...where.html

+1

For the past few months, I've been exploring breath work more and more, especially outside of meditation. In my experience breath work seems to directly moves energy around in my rays.

It has been an extremely helpful tool in processing feelings and emotions.

(05-20-2014, 08:45 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]Aureus, thank you so much! But I do meditate, and have been doing it almost on a daily basis since about 4 years ago. And one would think that since I do meditate, try to become conscious and aware, balance myself and work with myself, that these attacks wouldn't happen or at least get worse, but here they are!

By wearing the crystals during every day life, they will actually balance you. I've given out quite a lot of them to people with imbalances, whom have experienced positive results(for example my grandmother who has some kind of chronic muscle inflammation, reduced her painkillers by 50%). So the offer still stands.

Meditation is an incredibly broad term. What exactly has your meditation technique been?

(05-20-2014, 11:12 AM)Ankh Wrote: [ -> ]xise, thank you so much, my brother! You're right in that these attacks happen partially due to repressed memories. I recognized that one part of them have to do with my fear of people. This is a left-over from my PTSD. I learned from young age that people can be unpredictable and physically abuse you for no seeming reason at all. I also learned that if I look in the eyes of others, they can hit you for that. So I learned to not look into the eyes of others and to fear them. We went through this when I was treated for my PTSD, but not enough as focus was on other, bigger issues. But now it's coming up to the surface, and getting these proportions. Hopefully I can work with this in this new soon to be therapy. Much love, brother. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

lol at "they can hit you for that"

so many times in my life i've gotten the line, "look at me when i'm talking to u"

if u don't look at them when they ask u to - they can hit u for that

I get anxiety when my mom is upset. It can be pretty intense.
I just lost her contacts on her phone because customer service reset her phone,
and she's furious about it. Also lost some images of her ferrets that weren't saved.
All because she can't send or receive texts from her phone. She doesn't even use texting,
which I found out after I had them reset her phone.
And now she's going to give my dinner to the dogs. She won't even let me eat it.

(05-20-2014, 05:34 PM)Aureus Wrote: [ -> ]What exactly has your meditation technique been?

Oh, brother, during these 4 years they have been different!

It started with just understanding my energy centers, or chakras, and remembering things which caused blockages in them, to continuing with Gaia meditations, where Confederation entities were called upon and allowed to enter my energy field through the violet ray energy center to do the work.

Today I am more modest, and just practice above all, attaining total silence. But when there is disturbance I go deep into the deeper mind to understand this disturbance, whether this experience has its roots in the present moment or in the past. I also try to balance emotions and experiences when they are imbalanced.

I am glad to see that there are more out there who are passionate about meditations!

With this being said, imagine my surprise that meditations were not first-ranking lessons.

I don't have any answers for you, but I am thinking of you and sending you love and also asking the rest of the universe to answer your call.

[Revised]

I send what little love I have.

You can always call Ra or Quo in these situations. Your higher self. The One Infinite Creator (or simply be with). Jesus. Everyone. Whatever floats your boat. .

(05-20-2014, 06:46 PM)Phoenix Wrote: [ -> ]You can always call Ra or Quo in these situations. Your higher self. The One Infinite Creator (or simply be with). Jesus. Everyone. Whatever floats your boat. .

That doesn't always work with me. In fact, when I'm upset, the most I can call would be a being that is resonating to the vibration I am currently at. Jesus is all love, unconditional love which has a really high vibration. It doesn't work when I call him when I'm feeling down. We just have to make up our minds to change, and get back into a higher vibration where our calls will be heard. I've even had it where it seems like my higher self doesn't listen.

I got the impression to stop calling on Ra because of negative greeting.